I am so, so, so, sorry for the VAST delay. I had lost interest in this story again. Long story short, I moved out of state hoping to build a life with someone, he broke my heart, I moved back to where I orginally lived, and now I have all the time in the world to write until I find a job again! I decided to dabble in this story once more. If you hadn't read in the previous two chapters, I did edit them a bit because my time-frames were off. I didn't know that Seungri did actually end up getting arrested last year, nor that 'Siren' was released before Met Gala 2021 so I tweaked some words and paragraphs around. I also added dates in those chapters and I think in this one too...I'm not sure...it's 4:32am and my brain is fried at the moment. Well...here's chapter 6!

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Outside, Chaerin gently pulled her arm out of his grasp and slowly took a few steps away from him. She crossed her arms and turned to face the Big Bang leader, waiting to see what it is that he had to say.

Jiyong bit at his lip, lowering his raised hand that had been holding her arm down to his side, feeling the tension beginning to rise between them both.

“Why are you doing this?” She whispered, crossing her arms at her stomach, trying to calm the uneasiness she was feeling at the pit of her belly. “Why now?”

Jiyong looked down at the floor and lightly cleared his throat, “Things have changed...and most of it not for the better...we drifted away from each other—and I know it's thanks to me that that's happened. Chae...,” He sighed, his eyes finding hers as he tentatively reached for her arm once more, “I don't want to do this again with you. There was a point in time where we were both solid...”

“Like you said,” Chaerin cut him off, “it's all thanks to you that we're in this situation.”

The Big Bang leader bit his lip and nodded, letting go of her arm, “I know I deserve that...I deserve for you to feel resentment toward me and I'm so ing sorry that it's come to this, Chae—I really am.”

Chaerin began to feel a familiar sting at the corner of her eyes and she groaned trying to will them away, “It's too late for us to go back and change things, Jiyong.”

Jiyong shook his head, this time grabbing her elbows to pull her a bit toward him with a gentleness he had shown her years ago, “Don't say that—come on, Chae...please.”

She made quick work of turning away, pulling her bangs over her head in frustration at the tear that fell. “No.”

Jiyong stood behind her, defeated. He wanted to make things right, now that he could and he knew it wouldn't be an easy task, he just hoped that luck would be on his side and they would go back to something akin to normalcy.

“I...I'm gonna go.” She told him, looking at him once more before moving to walk away.

Arms wrapping themselves around her and the warmth of his breath against her ear made her stop in her footsteps.

“Please, let me make this right.”

Chaerin looked up at the sky as her next words released the anguish she was feeling, “How are you going to make this right? Everything's all ed up now.”

Jiyong squeezed his arms around her smaller form and nuzzled his nose to her neck, taking in her scent that he had once been acquainted with very thoroughly. There was too much hurt between both of them—he knew that—but they were older now and he didn't want to continue living life with loose ends. He needed to make this right and he was going to show her that he will.

“I know asking you to forgive me is too much. I know monopolizing you the way I did was wrong—even if at the time I didn't realize I was doing it because Chae—I would never intentionally hurt you...you have to know that.”

Somewhere deep down she did know that. She wanted to say they can just 'Let bygones be bygones' but it was hard. Having had feelings for this one man for years and letting herself be pulled into him only when it was convenient hurt but she had still allowed it. Being separated from him for two years had helped clear the obscure view she had had for so long that she began seeing who she truly was without him. She liked what she saw even though she continued to go through heartache—some because of him and some because of her career—but having his arms wrapped around her again was beginning to cloud her judgment.

“I can't go down this road with you again.” She whispered, placing her hands at his arms.

“You don't know how much I hate myself for having hurt you.” He replied back, “I'll never forgive myself for it but please...please don't shut me out of your life.”

They had so much history together. Their life flashed in the forefront of her mind, all the good and the bad. The good had at one point outweighed the bad. They trained, laughed, and triumphed together but they also cried, betrayed, and hurt each other. Even though he had done the majority of the hurt, she had gotten in her own kicks too with guys she had been with while in the states—granted, she hadn't seen it that way at the time. Now she realizes that she's never gotten over Jiyong and everything she had done up to this point had been to spite him. Gradually with time she began trying to rid herself of her feelings for him but it never worked.

She owed Ian an apology.

At the thought, her eyes looked down the brightly lit street.

She had forgotten all about Ian.

Chaerin shook her head and stepped out of Jiyong's grasp. She looked at him with saddened eyes, her attention shifting behind him for a moment before staring back at him, “Goodbye, Jiyong.”

Jiyong felt rooted at the spot. His fingertips felt tingly, his heart began racing, and his vision blurred as her figure disappeared from his view. He swallowed the lump forming at the back of his throat, wiping at his nose as his attention turned toward the sky, feeling a tear cascade down his cheek.

“Oppa...”

The Big Bang leader closed his eyes for a moment and nodded to himself, wiping at the tear before turning to the woman behind him.

“I thought you had left?” He asked.

Jennie shook her head slowly at him, her eyes showing the sadness he was feeling.

“Let's...let's go back to the hotel.”

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Chaerin sighed, gently rubbing at her temple as she went through different scenarios that could have occurred had she forgiven Jiyong then and there.

They could have been happy.

She could have constantly worried about whether he would go running back to Kiko.

She could have finally had the family she wanted.

Jiyong could find someone else.

She looked up at her stewardess as she was handed a glass of champagne.

There was just so much history there between them both that she had no idea what to do with it.

“You will never find another lover...” she whispered, her head moving side to side to a song she was set to release on the 29th of this month. This was a song she had worked quite a bit on...granted, she worked hard on all of her songs but this one pulled at her.

“Pick up the phoooone, CL-Roo~”

Chaerin furrowed her eyebrows as she heard her hand-phone ring beside her with a recording her eonni had placed as her ringtone.

A small smile graced her lips as her eonni's video feed came on her screen.

“Annyeong, eonni.”

“Chaerin-ah—how's my baby CL-roo?”

Chaerin laughed at Dara's antics and looked down at her eonni on the screen, noticing shoulders of two people at the corners of the camera's view, “I'm okay, eonni—who's there with you?”

Dara grinned and moved her phone further from her, revealing the identities of the two people beside her.

Chaerin felt her eyes water as she saw her old members wave at her with so much energy.

“Annyeong, Chaerin-ah!”

“Hi, eonni!”

Chaerin covered , her smile wide as the girls began to bicker at who can hold the phone.

“Annyeong, eonni—Minkki-ah. How are you?”

Minzy made quick work of grabbing the hand-phone from Dara's grasp and dashed away from her eonni's.

Chaerin could hear Bom and Dara shout, and Minzy began running as their voices followed her.

“Eonni, we're doing great but we miss you! When are you coming home?!” Minzy asked loudly, the camera showing nothing discernible as the maknae continued to run from the older women.

“Yah! Pabo-ya! Give me Dara's hand-phone!”

“What are you guys doing?” Chaerin asked, her brow lifted in pure amusement while the camera continue to show blurred feed.

“Minji-ah, don't be a brat—give me my hand-phone!”

The former 2NE1 leader leaned back against her seat as Minzy shouted and the phone finally came to a stop, landing on what seemed to be the floor, and only showing Chaerin a view of Dara's ceiling.

“Um...hello?”

Dara picked up her hand-phone, showing Chaerin just how out of breath she really was at having to chase the maknae all over her living room. The older woman wiped at her forehead with the back of her sleeve and gave an evil stare to whom she assumed was Minzy.

“Omo—what a scary face, eonni! Look! I'm going to have a bruise on my face from your carpet now!”

Dara pursed her lips while she lectured the younger woman about taking things that didn't belong to her and how she wouldn't have gotten hurt had she not done that.

“You tell her, Dara!”

Chaerin laughed at Bom in the background, backing up Dara in her reprimands.

“Now, we were about to have a lovely conversation with our CL-Leadah before someone took my hand-phone.” Dara once again gave a pointed look toward the younger female and humphed before looking back at the camera, “Chaerin-ah, are you still in New York?”

Chaerin gave her eonni a small smile and rested her elbow against the arm-rest of her chair, moving her hand-phone away from her so Dara could see where she was at.

“You're on a plane—she's on a plane—she's coming back!”

Shouts of excitement sounded in the background as Bom popped her face in front of the camera, “When do you land, Chaerin-ah? We can pick you up!”

Chaerin chuckled and responded, “I should be in Incheon on the 25th by four thirty eonni.”

“Aigoo, our CL-Roo must be so tired.” Dara pouted, pushing her face up against Bom's to fit into the view of the camera.

“Did you have fun at the Met Gala, eonni??”

The corner of Chaerin's lip quirked at the maknae's question, “De, I had lots of fun. I got to meet a lot of new people too.”

“Was Usher there—did you get to meet him??”

“I don't think Usher was at the Gala, Minji-ah.” Chaerin clarified with humorous candor, knowing full well just how disappointed Minzy was going to be at the revelation of her favorite artist not attending the gala.

“Mwoh? How could they not invite Usher—he's Usher!!”

“Araso, araso, enough Usher-talk.” Bom scolded, “Yah, Gong Minji, you should live a better life.”

“Eonni! I am living a better life!”

“Alright, you two. We were calling to see how our leader was doing—not to bombard her with questions about the gala.”

Chaerin shook her head and suddenly she felt home-sick. The jet she was on had left New York seven hours ago and she still had more hours to go before arriving in Korea.

“...I miss you.”

The three females stopped what they were doing and gave Chaerin sympathetic looks.

“We miss you too, Chaerin-ah. You've done well.”

“De, our CL-Roo has done what no other has done.”

“You're the best, eonni. Come home safely. We'll be waiting for you.”

Chaerin gave them a tired smile and waved goodbye to her girls.

“Chaerin-ssi, is there anything else you would like before you retire?”

The former 2NE1 leader gave the stewardess a small shake of her head, “No, thank you. I'm going to try and get some sleep. You try to rest too, I won't be needing anything for the rest of the night.”

The stewardess smiled and bowed before turning back toward the front of the jet.

Chaerin let out a deep breath and stood up, turning to walk toward her personal bed.

Perks of owning your own private jet? You have your own bedroom. She could live in the jet alone if she really wanted to.

Her eyes veered around the gold-plated room, looking at every detail it held. There had been a moment in her life where she thought she would never be able to reach this point where she could afford whatever she wanted.

While under YG, it was hard to accumulate good amount of money. At the end of the day, the majority of 2NE1's proceedings went to YGE. Their sajangnim used to say it was just what was owed to him for their success. She believed him because if it wasn't for him, 2NE1 wouldn't exist—hell, CL wouldn't exist. Regardless of the hardship that she endured along with her girls, Yang Hyunsuk gave them the push they needed for stardom.

She will always be grateful for the help and the great moments spent under the label. She also learned to forgive. She learned to forgive her former sajangnim—learned t