I don’t wanna hold you back

Don’t turn away with that awkward gaze

Talk to me baby

…

Maybe I just have to let you go, no

As if my heart is falling

Kang Hyungu knew from the start that there was a space between him and Kim Yena.

“You’re dating Kim Yena?” Yeorum looked at him in surprise. “How did you even get a chance with her? She’s beautiful, rich, and younger than you.“

“It just happened.” Hyungu gave a timid smile before returning back to rewriting his notes.

“But seriously, once we graduate this year and leave for university or work, will you guys be okay?”

Hyungu just gave a nonchalant shrug but deep inside, he was wondering too. Yena was indeed pretty. She’s kind and smart too. Her family is rich. On the other hand, he was nothing compared to her. He’s just the intelligent and hardworking boy who has big dreams.

Dreams. Would they be enough? If he achieved his dreams, would he be worthy of her?

But as he spent more time with Yena, he realized how different they were. Yena could live a comfortable and luxurious life without breaking a sweat. He could break a lot of sweat and still have a life far from luxury. In the future, could he really ask her to leave the life she has and accept the simple life he could offer?

He knew she would say yes. But could he really ask that?

He’ll work harder. He has to work harder.

“You’re here?”

Hyungu was really surprised when Yena visited him at his university. She was smiling brightly in her high school uniform. Although he was happy to see her, he was worried. It’s a school day. Wasn’t she tired of school that she even managed to travel this far? Won’t she be losing sleep tonight because of her assignments?

He brought her to a café and treated her a drink. Yena assured him that she was fine and that their driver drove her there so instead of worrying, he simply cherished that moment with her.

During his first year, Yena rarely visited him in his university. He missed her every single day so he really pushed himself to go back to their hometown during the weekends.

That setup was all fine for him until the second term of his second year. School works started piling up. Their outputs started requiring more time and effort. It caused him to stay in his dorm for some weekends, lessen his phone calls with Yena, and miss her more.

Yena visited him unannounced once again. He was talking to Yeorum about a groupwork that needed to be passed tomorrow morning when he saw Yena. She was rushing towards him with a smile that slowly faded when she saw Yeorum.

“Yeorum is just a friend and a groupmate, Yena,” Hyungu sighed when he saw Yena’s shaking eyes. “You know that.”

“She’s… she’s always your groupmate,” she replied with an unconscious pout.

It was true and Hyungu was actually thankful for it. Yeorum was a close friend since middle school. She’s much more hardworking and studious than him. And since he didn’t want to burden her, he tried to put as much effort as her. Having her as a classmate and a friend made the heavy school load bearable. He told Yena all those things so she wouldn’t worry.

“That’s because she’s the closest friend I have in most of my classes.” He let out another sigh and took her hand in his. “Why did you even go here at my university? You have classes tomorrow.”

“I just… missed you.”

“You can’t go on traveling this far just because you missed me.” He pulled her into a hug. “Go home now, okay? I promise to come to you this weekend.”

The longing was never-ending. He missed her everyday. He thought of her most of the time. And when he was on his way back to his dorm after visiting her, he was already looking forward to seeing her again.

Hyungu did not know when it started but he was missing her… even if he’s with her. There was something wrong. He could see it in the way her eyes would go distant sometimes. He noticed it from the coldness of her voice on some of their phone calls. He sometimes asked but she never answered truthfully.

He thought it might be because he’s focusing so much on his studies. That’s why he tried his best to ignore all school-related phone calls whenever he’s with her. He also avoided talking about how busy he is, afraid that she might think she’s being a burden. But that didn’t change a thing.

What’s wrong, Yena? Are we okay?

Slowly, unknowingly, the space between them grew.

“Let’s take a break.”

Yena’s quiet words resounded in Hyungu’s ears. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Over this nonexistent cheating?”

How did they reach this point? What had he done wrong? How could he fix this?

Tears streamed down her face and he wanted to reach out and wipe them all away. She shook her head slowly. “I’m having a hard time with you, Hyungu.”

It was a slap in his face. A punch in his gut. A bucket of ice cold water.

He felt like his heart was ripping in two—no, it was shredding into a million pieces. She was having a hard time and he couldn’t… he couldn’t bear the thought that it was because of him. He hurt her. He burdened her.

Although he wanted to know what he did wrong, how he hurt her, and how he had given her a hard time, he couldn’t do that to her—he couldn’t make it harder for her.

With a painful inhale, he took a step back and looked at her. “I understand.”

Without another word, she turned around and ran away from him.

All he could do was to watch Yena as she drifted farther and farther away. She used to be hard to reach. Now, she’s completely out of his reach.