The day where I can keep up with your pace again

And the day where you can smile in front of me again

Is it just because we’ve gotten used to that?

Or is it because we care for each other too much?

Kim Yena wasn’t sure if she’s still happy.

Hyungu was three years ahead of her. While she was in her last year of high school, he was already in the university for almost three years, taking up architecture. His university was outside of their hometown so they were kind of like in a long distance relationship.

At first, they had a hard time with it. They see each other only during weekends when Hyungu was going home. During weekdays, they could only converse through phone calls at night since they have different schedules. And they were missing each other almost all the time.

As time went by, they got used to it. The longing wasn’t as bad as before. They were less pressured to make time for each other.

Yena thought things were about to get better, especially since she was about to graduate. Although her parents wanted her to study at a better university, her plan was to attend Hyungu’s university. She was also to take up Architecture, just like him.

However, for some reason, their relationship was somehow going in a direction she didn’t like.

“Yeorum is just a friend and a groupmate, Yena,” Hyungu sighed. “You know that.”

Yena looked back behind him and saw Yeorum staring back at them with an emotionless face. She was Hyungu’s friend since middle school and starting last year, she noticed how often that girl and Hyungu hang out.

That girl, she’s really beautiful. Her hair was tied in an elegant bun, a few strands touching her cheek. She wore simple clothes but she carries them with confidence. She’s also intelligent and persevering.

Yena’s gut feeling also told her that Yeorum likes Hyungu.

“She’s… she’s always your groupmate,” she replied dumbly.

“That’s because she’s the closest friend I have in most of my classes.” Hyungu let out another sigh and took her hand in his. “Why did you even go here at my university? You have classes tomorrow.”

“I just… missed you,” she replied simply.

“You can’t go on traveling this far just because you missed me.” He pulled her into a hug. “Go home now, okay? I promise to come to you this weekend.”

She was being irrational.

Yena trusted Hyungu and she knew he would never break that trust. Still, she couldn’t shake away the uncomfortable feeling she has for Yeorum. At first, it was because Yeorum was Hyungu’s old friend—someone he knew before her. But the more she sees the girl with Hyungu, the more she realized the reason behind her discomfort.

Yeorum was perfect beside Hyungu.

The girl was pretty, intelligent, and mature. She was spending more time with him than Yena. She knew more of Hyungu than Yena. And she’s part of Hyungu’s long-time circle of friends that Yena couldn’t fit in.

She kept those thoughts to herself. They were small foolish thoughts that aren’t meant to be dwelt on. She later then realized that it was a wrong choice to keep them.

It all started with her small insecurities—with the passing thoughts of Hyungu being too good for her, of Yeorum being better than her, and of how much more time Hyungu spends with Yeorum than her. Slowly and unknowingly, it escalated to doubts that are unvoiced. Why is Hyungu not coming back to their hometown often? Why do their conversations shorten everytime they talk?

Why is she not sure if she’s still happy?

Yena saw Hyungu’s phone light up with Yeorum’s name. She stopped sipping her drink and looked away when Hyungu immediately turned the call off and put his phone out of her sight. She then started talking about random things, pretending not to notice it even if it bothered her the whole date.

“Are we good?” Hyungu asked as he walked her home.

She looked up at him and smiled too brightly. “Of course.”

He stared at her for a moment before kissing her on the forehead and letting her go.

That was their last date before everything went downhill.

“Yena…”

Yena was already cold and nervous when she saw him walking out of a café. And when he called her name, tears rushed down her cheeks. “Y-you said we can’t g-go out for your birthday because you’re busy…”

“I told you the truth,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

She pointed at the girl sitting at the table he left. “You’re busy with… Yeorum?!”

“It’s not what you think—“

She laughed sarcastically and wiped away some of the tears from her eyes. “That’s the line of every cheater who got caught, Hyungu.”

His jaw clenched in anger. With a cold but hard voice, he asked, “You think I’m cheating, Yena?”

“I caught you cheating, Hyungu!” She exclaimed. Her heart clenched so hard after voicing it out. Panic clawed within her as the realization hit her. “It was a very special day and you decided to have a date with Yeorum?!”

“It’s not a date!“ He frustratedly replied. “We’re finishing up an academic work.”

Hurt was on his face and that infuriated her more. He crushed her heart into pieces and yet he’s looking like the one in pain? He was the one who spent most of his time busy with university, his friends and Yeorum while she was the one who spent most of her time wallowing in her insecurities, ignoring her own pain and making efforts to have time with him.

It wasn’t this birthday date that’s breaking them, she suddenly realized. It was the small moments she chose to ignore. It was the time he failed to give her and the understanding she couldn’t stretch anymore. There was already a crack long before this moment. It’s just that today, they finally broke apart.

“Let’s take a break,” she said quietly.

Hyungu stared at her, his eyes a mixture of emotions. “Over this nonexistent cheating?”

She looked at him and fresh tears streamed down her face. She shook her head slowly. “I’m having a hard time with you, Hyungu.”

She expected him to explain. She waited for him to talk her out of that decision, even though she was sure she won’t change her mind. Not tonight, at least.

Instead, he took a deep breath, took a step back and looked at her with the saddest eyes she saw from him. “I understand.”

Without saying anything else, she turned around and ran away from him.