A/N: Hope everyone is doing okay!

This update took a little longer because there were a few things I had to change. I'll try to post the next update sooner, but I'm currently living with some very poor weather conditions so I've been focussing on...living ^^'. Hopefully, things won't get too bad though!

I just want to say that cw// dieting, pain and for this specific chapter, it is only included in one section (the beginning). If you would like to skip it. Please use the Find function (Control+F) and search '**' (two asterisks). This section with a content warning is really short and the section that you can read is sooooo much better anyways. This should be the last of my content warnings!

By the way, if you're reading this post-quarantine/post-lockdown/post-COVID-19, HOLY . Congrats on outliving that horrible virus and thanks for coming back to this fic to relive some dark days. Does this give you nostalgia?

Today is significantly better. The swelling and pain have reduced immensely. The episode from a few nights ago was nearly forgotten. Against Jinsol’s discretion, Jungeun actually started transitioning to going back to work. (She only worked for half the day and answered emails).

It’s around 3 PM. She had lunch a few hours ago and she had to eat soon for her medication. 

The grumbling in her tummy convinces her to leave her desk and get a snack to eat. “I’m getting a snack, do you want anything?”

Jinsol looks up from her screen and contemplates. “I think I’m good for now. Thanks, though.” She offers a smile before returning her focus to the email she was writing. 

Jungeun exits their converted office and heads towards the kitchen. The fridge welcomes her with “Jungeun-friendly” food that Jinsol had stocked up for her prior to her surgery: apple sauce, pudding, Jell-O, avocados, and bananas. She pulls out a cup of yogurt and mindlessly looks for a spoon in one of the drawers.

Leaning on the counter, Jungeun begins eating her yogurt. It only takes her about 2 minutes to finish her small cup. Her stomach is not satisfied and she doesn’t have anything else in mind to fulfill her 5-minute break. As she throws away the lid and washes the plastic container, her eyes latch onto a baked good that has been tempting her for the past few days. 

The night before her surgery, their dear friend and neighbor, Hyunjin, brought over some day-old sweet bread rolls. Hyunjin is a manager and PR specialist for a bakery and tends to bring them leftovers. The sweet rolls were Jungeun’s favorite and since it’s so popular, Hyunjin rarely gets to take it home for them. Jungeun ate about four rolls of bread the morning of her surgery. Jinsol ate some, too, but there were still about five pieces left. 

I can’t hurt too much.

It’s soft bread. Even if it’s a little stale, it’s still pretty soft.

How bad can it be?

Jungeun checks the door to their office, pretending to telepathically check if Jinsol would exit that room and catch her.

It’s just bread. It’s soft, too.

She opens the paper bags and stealthily tears away a piece about the size of her thumb. After rolling it into a ball, she pops it into . It was definitely soft, but it was definitely starting to get old. Making sure to not use her molars, she bites with her incisors and canines. It was a lot of effort and soon enough her jaw started to hurt.

It was a sharp pain. Not like last night, but it was definitely acute. It felt like a nail being hammered to the side of her head and spreading everywhere. Her jaw dropped and the bread fell out of as well. 

The pain was subsiding as she tried to relax, but was rather intense. Jungeun was taking deep breaths to calm herself down. 

Jungeun stares at the tile underneath her fingers with anger. She wonders how long this is going to last. The pain. The hunger. Jinsol having to take care of her. 

Why can’t she eat bread without her skull splitting? It’s pathetic. 

She balls her hands into a fist.

“Jungie? You okay?” The door creaks open.

Jungeun stands up straight. The pain forcibly dulled out. She put the bread ball into the sink. 

She splashed some water onto her face and took a few deep breaths. 

A part of her feels like everything that’s happening to her is dramatic and questions her pain tolerance. She wants to go back to her normal life.

She’s surprised to feel a hand at the small of her back. The faucet also shuts off. Oh, did I leave that on?

“Hey. Are you okay? I heard some heavy breathing. Now, you’re staring at the faucet.”

Jungeun contemplates how she should tell Jinsol what happened. It really sounds absurd how chewing on a piece of bread the size of a coin gave her so much pain. 

Maybe it was the embarrassment. Maybe it was the frustration. Jungeun didn’t want to talk.

Instead, she pulled Jinsol in for a tight hug. 

Jinsol was beyond confused but reciprocated the embrace.

A part of her eagerly waits for her girlfriend to talk, so she can help her feel better. However, she remembers what her mother said a few nights ago and reassures herself that Jungeun is going through a struggle that she can’t control, and just being there and being present means a lot to Jungeun.

She caresses the back of Jungeun’s head and holds it against her shoulder.

Jungeun takes a deep breath and immediately recognizes Jinsol’s body wash mixed with her own natural scent. She blushes and feels warm at the intimacy. It was slightly calming, but her mind was still running at 100 mph. 

Jungeun was upset and she was upset because she was upset. 

She wants to tell Jinsol everything, but she’s also tired of being vulnerable and wants to set up some sort of defense, even if it’s a little one. 

So she just focuses on Jinsol’s pulse against her cheek and the smell of her. 

**

**

Since it’s Friday, Jinsol is easily swayed to clock out earlier to watch movies with Jungeun. (Jinsol needs to take her mind off of things anyways.)

Things are a little different. Instead of popcorn and chocolate, they’re both eating ice cream and sipping on smoothies (Well, Jungeun is eating the ice cream like soup). Usually, Jungeun is really talkative during movies, but because her jaw is a little sore, she keeps her commentary to a minimum. 

They just finished their second movie when Jungeun is about to ask Jinsol about her opinion of the movie.

“Jin—,” she starts before she looks down. Jinsol was curled up and laying her head on her lap. Light snores started to occupy the room. 

Without moving too much, Jungeun reaches to the table in front of them to grab the remote. She shuts off the DVD player and TV. 

Darkness settles in. The only source of light in the room is the luminescence of the city peeping out of their curtains. Besides that, there’s a glow next to the TV that tells Jungeun it’s only 10:15 at night. Jungeun laughs at the irony of how their sleep schedules have completely switched. Jungeun used to be irritable right at 10 PM, but now, she doesn’t start feeling drowsy until midnight. Jinsol used to stay awake in bed until 2 AM, but now she passes out before 11 PM. Jungeun has been apologetic about this change since it happened after the surgery, but Jinsol shrugs it off, saying as long as she gets 8 hours of sleep, she’s content. 

Admittedly, Jungeun is a little tired, but she’s not irritated like she used to be at this time. She thinks it’s because it’s dark and quiet and Jinsol keeps her calm.

Looking down at the woman in her lap, Jungeun marvels at her beauty. 

She tucks back some hair behind Jinsol’s ear. The motion is like second nature to her. 

Wow . Never in her life did she think she’d get so used to brushing away Jinsol’s hair like that. 

It’s such a small act, yet it makes her feel like the luckiest girl in the world. The power she holds—only she can feel this way. 

Her fingers circle around Jinsol’s ears. They used to be adorned with multiple piercings, but ever since both of them started working from home, Jinsol has opted to let her ears rest for the most part. Jungeun traces over the antihelix, which holds a silver ring. She remembers when the two of them got matching piercings on their second anniversary. Jungeun chuckles thinking about how much Jinsol is such a sap for always wearing that piercing. (Deep down she admires that small symbol of commitment.)

And hey, she can’t mentally egg Jinsol about that when it’s the only piercing she keeps on, too. 

Her thumbpads brush over Jinsol’s eyebrows, probably her favorite facial feature (after her lips). She loves how expressive they are—how they point up when she’s interested in something, how they scrunch together when she concentrates, how the left eyebrow twitches higher than the right one when she sings, how high they are raised when she sees her favorite food. 

Jungeun traces over Jinsol’s lips, her absolute weakness. These lips are mostly a source of happiness or comfort, whether they produce words of encouragement, sing melodies of their favorite songs, or make her forget about her worries with soft kisses. She doesn’t know what she thinks is most adorable: Jinsol’s shy smile or that childish pout of hers. If her girlfriend’s smile isn’t giving her butterflies, her frowns and scoldings break her heart. When that happens, Jungeun gains a strong desire to drop everything and give Jinsol even a sliver of joy. Her success rate isn’t perfect. There are always going to be bad days and problems are not going to be solved immediately, but the promise of Jinsol’s laugh or hearing “I love you,” motivates her to keep trying. 

Continuing her adventure, Jungeun couldn’t help herself and trace down her cheekbone and along her jawline. A ray of light caresses the lower half of her face, highlighting arguably her most physically attractive features. Once upon a time, Jinsol’s cheeks were round and plump. Jungeun used to pinch them as a distraction while studying. As the years went by, the baby fat sadly went away. Jungeun likes to think this is how she gets to see Jinsol age and “grow” as an adult. (She doesn’t know what she’s going to do when the two of them start having wrinkles.)

Jungeun smiles to herself thinking about… how much she loves Jinsol. 

She loves how she can touch her like this and how it means everything and nothing at the same time. 

She loves that she can hold her so intimately whether it’s 10:38 at night when she’s about to go to bed or it’s 6:15 in the morning and it’s the first thing she wakes up to. 

She loves thinking that Jinsol is her safe haven and that she found it early in her life. It’s been her safe haven and she hopes it continues being so. 

A loud noise throws Jungeun out of her trance. There’s honking and yelling and then something zooms away. 

Her thoughts travel somewhere else. It’s still absurd to Jungeun how quiet it’s been. Usually, on Friday nights, there’s a lot of traffic and people are going out, drunkenly singing their hearts out. Sometimes, it would be Jinsol and Jungeun making the noise. 

Now, it’s quiet, to the point that Jinsol is peacefully sleeping on the couch. 

Or was anyways.

Jinsol stirs in her spot, probably due to the sound. 

Jungeun places her wandering hand on Jinsol’s shoulder and gently rubs it. Jinsol simply repositions herself before drifting off to sleep.

Things are quiet again. It’s melancholic.  

With what’s going on in the world right now, everything seems apocalyptic. The surrounding community of her apartment complex has become a ghost town. 

This virus has been vicious. Although people are cautious and considerate, things still happen. One family in their complex has had to move out because of financial issues. Someone in the next complex has passed away due to the virus.   

She waits for the days she can unapologetically and unintentionally leave this apartment, this city, this country. She wants to hug her friends and go dancing with them. She wants to try new food. She wants to go to the planetarium and the beach and the mountains.

She wants the world to piece itself together. She wants everyone to be healthy and safe again. 

On the news, the world seems like it’s ending. There are racial injustices being fought. Natural disasters show no mercy. With everything being online, cybersecurity and bullying have been of concern. Jungeun doesn’t understand everything and it angers her.

With what’s going on in the world right now, everything seems apocalyptic. Things are calm now, but you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow.

Jungeun’s lucky she’s in her safe haven.    

It’s unspoken words and hugs by the kitchen counter. It’s gentle touches after movies and ice cream. 

It’s reminders to take her medication and listening to her complain.

They’re things that tell Jungeun that everything is going to be okay. Even if hell is breaking loose, she can tolerate it as long as Jinsol is by her side. 

And maybe it’s a false illusion to the apocalypse outside, but it’s something .

And something is everything when you feel like nothing. 

Jungeun doesn’t feel like nothing when she’s with Jinsol. 

(“Thank you, Jinsol.” Jungeun grabs her hand as they lay in bed.

“For what?” Jinsol lazily turns to her. Since Jungeun can’t lay on her side, she turns her head towards Jinsol. Her girlfriend reacts by brushing away stray hair. Jungeun wonders if that motion is second nature to her, too. 

“Being you.”)

A/N:

Hope you guys liked this update! Next update, the plot will finally materialize. I mean, I've been manifesting details here and there about the plot, but it's really going to formulate next chapter~

I just want to give a few clarifications of some things that I've written, specifically for this chapter.

Just as a reminder, I wrote this fic in July 2020 and it's almost the end of August. A lot of things that I've written had to be shifted due to things that happened in the fandom. I tried to be cautious of those things without ruining the flow of the story, but if you're feeling upset about something I wrote, please let me know.

This story is taken place in Seoul. Besides Google, I get most of my research about Korea from my friend who grew up there. Her dad is also working there right now and he gives me a lot of answer regarding society and whatnot. I asked them a lot of questions regarding how Korea is dealing with COVID. She told me her dad was working from home and that all of his coworkers and neighbors were working from home. They also don't go out much even for groceries. From what I perceived, it sounded everyone was like that, but I just read an article (like 20 minutes ago) that SK is actually pretty open. People are just very cautious and considerate. I tried to alter my fic to kinda follow that, but I do feel like it does tend to follow the original setting, which follows quarantine/lockdown requirements that I experience in the USA.

For the sake of this work of fiction, please forgive this historical inaccuracy of my characters needing to work from home. If I'm being honest, I forgot what it feels like to live with an open society like that, so I probably couldn't write that without some COVID paranoia laced in it. That's just the reality of the situation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, this A/N is long. Please stay safe and healthy everyone, especially those who are victims of the Northern California fires. Stay hydrated and wear your mask!

Twitter: @littlepanduh
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