Soyoung

 

Soyoung wasn’t sure how long she sat there in her chair, her head resting on her fist. At some point, she fell asleep in that same position for a few hours before she was awoken by the sound of a knock on the door. The candle on the table was still lit, casting a golden glow around the room. 

 

“Your Majesty.” Soyoung’s eyes fluttered open slightly, one hand rubbing her eyes sleepily as she sluggishly recognized the voice.

 

Hyojun.

 

“What is it?” She called, her gaze moving slowly over to the door where she could just faintly see the outline of her personal guard waiting outside. 

 

“I’m sorry to bother you at this hour.” Hyojun replied, “But my men just gave me new information they found on the disaster relief money fraud issue, and I didn’t want to wait to give it to you.” Soyoung sighed softly, waiting for a few moments before she answered. In the past, she barely thought twice before listening to what Hyojun had to report to her. But even with the chaos that had happened that night, she still hadn’t forgotten what Hyeyoung’s lover from Xanadu had told her. 

 

The attackers called that man “Lord Hyojun.”

 

It could be a lie, it really could be. Or perhaps the young noble had heard wrong, his mind delirious from the pain of his injuries?

 

Still, something told Soyoung that it wasn’t. And given everything that had happened recently, it wouldn’t be a surprise at all. Sighing softly, she rose from her seat. Hyojun’s loyalties aside, the fraud matter was still something that had to be addressed.

 

“Come in.” She said. Hyojun entered just as Soyoung sat down at the table, bowing as he looked around curiously.

 

“The prince is in the guest room.” Soyoung replied before he could ask. Embarrassed at being caught looking, Hyojun cleared his throat and held out a large packet of papers towards Soyoung. 

 

“This is the information.” He said, “It may shock Your Majesty, but I have already checked that it is all true.” Her curiosity piqued, Soyoung began flipping through the papers, and soon realized why Hyojun had said so. 

 

No matter which piece of paper she looked at, everything pointed to one person being behind the fraud. 

 

Jinyoung. 

 

According to the information provided, Hyojun’s men had seen multiple shipments of money taken out of Khuu Batuhan’s mansion, and then taken to a large villa in the outskirts of the city. Upon further research, the men had found that the villa was listed under Jinyoung’s name. Usually, the villa was guarded, but Jinyoung sometimes would stop in and visit whenever he was out for business talks or inspecting the goods coming in at the shipping wharf. As for what he had taken the money to do, that was still up in the air, but there were a few potential possibilities. There was always the reason that had caused many court officials in previous dynasties to defraud the court of money: pure greed, and a desire to fund extravagant lifestyles. Or, perhaps there was a lover that Jinyoung was keeping in that villa, hidden away from the outside world. And of course, there was always the possibility that his marriage to Soyoung came with deeper, more hidden motives, such as using his position by her side to interfere with her actions, thereby creating an opening for Goryeo to grow stronger, retaliate, and break free from the Yuan empire’s hold at last. 

 

And of course, none of those options made much sense. 

 

To say that Jinyoung had a lover outside of the palace was absolutely ridiculous; his heart was too innocent and his mind and thoughts too open for him to be capable of doing something like that. As for being a spy for Goryeo, that was even less likely. If that had been the Goryeo king’s goal in marrying one of his sons to Soyoung, he would have pushed her to choose a different prince, one who was more skilled in politics and a better talker than the scholarly softhearted Jinyoung. As for pure greed...Soyoung would have laughed at that possibility if she had been alone in the room. If he needed anything, Jinyoung could always ask her; the palace was capable of providing anything the prince needed. And besides, Jinyoung always tried to match his behavior to what the scholars of old had promoted, one of the basic precepts being the need to be humble and not pursue material desires. Stealing official court funds to fund a lavish lifestyle was out of the question.

 

The evidence before Soyoung was perfect though; so perfect that no one would think to question the evidence that led step by step to point at Jinyoung as the culprit behind it all. And Soyoung was sure that if Lord Tsend and Khuu Batuhan were brought in front of her, they would already have a story ready to explain how they had come to work with Jinyoung to take the disaster relief funds for their personal use. 

 

And yet, it was too perfect. 

 

Soyoung wasn’t a naive child; she had been on the throne long enough to know that evidence didn’t just fall into place and lead directly to the clear culprit perfectly like this. Even with Hyeyoung’s schemes, she had had to pull together multiple people and investigate through multiple avenues, combine the information she had found, and then use deductive reasoning before she could come to a conclusion about what Hyeyoung was up to. In short, this all meant one thing.

 

He’s been set up to be the scapegoat. 

 

Im Hyojun, who had served by her side for years, couldn’t possibly have overlooked that fact. 

 

And yet, he had brought the entire packet of information to Soyoung without saying a single word about it.

 

Hyojun, do you really have another master?

 

Soyoung blew out her breath slowly. As irritated as she felt that her naive husband once again had a target on his back, reading all of this information had made her think of something. All night long, she had been wondering how she was going to deal with Jinyoung, now that the whole fiasco involving Hyeyoung was more or less over. Given his repeated instances of publicly defending Hyeyoung, even against Soyoung’s wishes, there was no way Soyoung could let him off without punishment. Even if she personally decided to do so, the court officials would never agree to let her do it. They could only claim that the Empress was favoring her husband, spoiling him so much that he could do whatever he wanted without any care for the consequences. Of course, Soyoung wasn’t foolish enough to even consider such a possibility.

 

It was time that Soyoung stopped trying to protect Jinyoung from everything. 

 

Soyoung folded up the papers in her hand and placed them back onto the table.

 

“I understand.” She said, “Thank you for your hard work, Hyojun. Go and rest now.” Hyojun hesitated as he looked at her curiously.

 

“You don’t have any orders for me right now, Your Majesty?” He asked. Soyoung shook her head.

 

“Allow me to think it over for a little bit.” She replied, “Go and rest now. Or are you in that big of a rush to see me punish my husband?” Hyojun shook his head and bowed.

 

“I dare not rush Your Majesty.” He replied, “I will take my leave now.”

 

“Hyojun.” Soyoung’s voice made him pause, and he turned as Soyoung rose to her feet. 

 

“Are you hiding anything from me?” She asked softly. Hyojun looked at her in confusion.

 

“No, Your Majesty.” He replied after a moment, “I would not dare to.” Soyoung gazed at Hyojun for a long moment, taking in his tall frame. In all these years, Hyojun’s presence by her side had always served as a source of comfort, an ever present dependable figure that made her feel at ease. If she ever needed someone watching her back, Hyojun would certainly be her first choice. And yet, at that moment, in the silver glow of the moonlight, she really could imagine him dressed in all black, his face covered with a mask, his sword raised into the air as he stared down at Hyeyoung’s lover moments before striking him down in an attempt to hide his relationship to the princess. To top it off, Soyoung recalled that based on the man’s injuries, he had been injured by someone holding a sword in his left hand. As it so happened, Hyojun was one of the few skilled martial artists in the capital who were left handed. 

 

“Before today, have you seen Hyeyoung’s lover before?” She asked. Hyojun blinked before shaking his head.

 

“No, Your Majesty.” He replied, “Today was the first time. I am always by your side or serving elsewhere in the palace, waiting for your commands. How could I have seen him before?” Hyojun looked up in alarm at Soyoung.

 

“Your Majesty, surely you are not suspecting me of being the person who attacked him?” He exclaimed, “I would never do such a thing, especially when I know he’s important to your plan to uncover the former princess’ motives!” Soyoung sighed.

 

“Don’t panic, I never said such a thing.” She replied, “I was just asking out of curiosity.” She gave him a light shove towards the door.

 

“Now go sleep.” She ordered, “It’s getting late.” Hyojun nodded and bowed.

 

“Good night, Your Majesty.” He said. After Hyojun’s footsteps faded away, Soyoung sighed and sat down on the bed, resting her head against the wooden bed frame. Hyojun had responded to her questions directly, barely missing a beat before responding in a way that any loyal subject would. 

 

Except, before today, Soyoung had never mentioned Borjigin Naidan’s relationship to Hyeyoung in front of Hyojun before.

 

The little slip of tongue, the few extra words that had come out of his mouth, were more than enough for Soyoung to be even more certain that Hyojun had other motives. The mere thought that her personal guard, the man that she had entrusted her life to for so many years, could possibly be a spy, was more than enough to make her heart ache. Still, all she had was a guess based on circumstantial evidence; until she had something more direct in her hands, it would be better not to love him yet. In any event, perhaps she could use him to draw out the person controlling his puppet strings. 

 

Soyoung blew out her breath slowly and closed her eyes.

 

I will have to be more careful around yet another person now. 

 

____________________________________________________________________________

Jinyoung

 

The night passed without much fanfare, although Jinyoung found himself struggling to get any sleep. Thoughts whirled around his mind as he thought about what had happened at the banquet, the way he had faltered when Soyoung’s words had asked for him to trust her, and the look of betrayal mixed in disappointment in her eyes when he didn’t. Jinyoung had always thought that he had a good sense of who to believe, of which person to trust and which not to, and that he could always fall back on the guidance of old scholars when his own logic failed him.

 

But time and again since he had entered the Yuan palace, he had come to realize that those thoughts were wrong. 

 

The world of imperial royalty, especially of a country as powerful as Yuan, was far more complicated and intricate than he could ever imagine. So many people were sheep in wolf’s clothing, drawing his kindness and sympathy with pretty words that he had been shielded from in Goryeo. After all that had happened this time, though, he had become certain of one thing: if anyone was to be trusted, it was Soyoung. The empress was young but had seen much more than he had in her short lifetime. It wasn’t like he should blindly trust whatever she said; Jinyoung knew better than to do that. But time and again, Soyoung had proven with her actions that her eyes were capable of seeing beyond the act that many people in court put on the surface, and was far better at doing that than Jinyoung was. In short, she was right far more often than she was wrong. And besides, it wasn’t the first day they were married; he knew her personality and her way of dealing with matters. Since the day he had promised to trust her, she had shown him nothing short of her true self, just like she had promised.

 

And yet, in the most crucial moments, Jinyoung had wavered instead of living up to his word. 

 

Jinyoung groaned and buried his head in his hands.

 

“Park Jinyoung, what kind of man are you?” He muttered, “Why did you waver?” 

 

She’s been keeping secrets from you too, a little voice seemed to whisper in his ear, She didn’t tell you a single thing about her own investigations into Hyeyoung and what happened in Xanadu. Jinyoung groaned and shook his head.

 

“If I hadn’t blindly picked the opposite side, she wouldn’t have done that.” He muttered, “Soyoung opened her heart to me and I…”

 

Instead of valuing her trust, I questioned her, time and again.

 

And then, I made her cry.

 

Jinyoung’s throat tightened as Soyoung’s crushed expression surfaced once again in his mind, the tears welling in her eyes as she gazed up at him making his chest squeeze painfully.

 

How am I going to make things up to her this time?

 

The hours dragged on, and by the time Jinyoung awoke from a fitful sleep, it was already late morning. Rubbing one eye, Jinyoung swung his feet over the side of the guest room bed.

 

Morning court should be over by now. Perhaps I can go prepare a snack for her.

 

Jinyoung knew that it would take far more than a plate of rice cakes to earn Soyoung’s forgiveness, but at least it was a start. Just as he was about to call servants to help him dress though, the door opened to reveal Soyoung, followed by a retinue of maids and eunuchs. She was still dressed in her golden dragon robes, clearly having just left morning court. The sun glimmered off the official empress’ headpiece, the long strings of beads connected to the front and the back swinging lightly in the breeze. She had a stern look on her face, one that warned him that she was all business at the moment. Still, Jinyoung tried to offer her a tiny smile.

 

“Good morning Soyoung.” He said softly. Soyoung’s gaze met his, and Jinyoung felt a shiver run down his back. It wasn’t the first time he had seen Soyoung in the morning; sometimes he woke up when she got up to prepare for morning court, or he would be just getting up when she returned to change into lighter clothing to go practice swordplay. Or sometimes, when she was particularly tired, she would lie in bed for a little longer, resting her head against his chest and wrapping her arms around him before cracking open one eye to give him a sleepy smile. No matter when it was though, she would give him a tiny smile, small but filled with warmth. 

 

Today though, it was the complete opposite. 

 

Soyoung’s eyes were cold, her lips pressed into a firm line, the soft flicker of happiness that crossed her face when she saw him notably absent. It was clear that she wasn’t here merely to visit him after morning court. 

 

“Kneel.” She ordered, the single word ringing out firmly in the large room. Jinyoung frowned slightly in confusion.

 

“Wait, what is going on?” He said, “Why do you want me to kneel?” Soyoung’s gaze sharpened as she glared down at him.

 

“I said, ‘kneel’!” She growled. Jinyoung gazed at her for a long moment before doing as he had been told, feeling more bewildered than he had ever felt ever since he stepped foot in Yuan.

 

“Park Jinyoung, do you admit to committing criminal acts against the empire?” Soyoung asked. Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise as he looked up at his wife. 

 

“What crimes have I done?” He asked, “I know I was wrong to defend Sister-in-law, and I know I should have believed your words last night, but I-!” He cut off as Soyoung laughed sharply, holding out her hand towards the eunuch next to her. The older man duly handed her a stack of paper, and Soyoung’s eyes narrowed again as she looked down at Jinyoung.

 

“Dear husband, it seems that you’ve taken so much money for yourself since our marriage that you’ve forgotten where it all came from.” She said, “I wonder, who else has been feeding your greedy heart?” Jinyoung frowned, his lips parting in confusion as he cast a desperate look at the servants, attempting to gain clarity from them but failing to as they looked down away from him. 

 

“I honestly haven’t a clue what you are talking about.” Jinyoung replied, “Could you perhaps clarify what you are referring to?” Soyoung scoffed and took the stack of papers before throwing them at Jinyoung’s feet. 

 

“You stole official court funds meant for disaster relief and then have the audacity to purchase a mansion in this city to hold it all.” She snapped, “And now you dare to act like you don’t know what I’m talking about? You really are thick skinned, Park Jinyoung.” Jinyoung’s jaw dropped at Soyoung’s statement, and he quickly gathered the papers that had fallen at his feet. His hands trembled as he skimmed quickly over the sheets, his heart pounding in his chest as he realized what was happening.

 

“I...don’t know where you got this information from.” Jinyoung said at last, “But I can assure you that none of this is true. Think about it, Soyoung! Why would I need to take any of this money? Why would I need another mansion in the city when I’m always living here? I’m not the type of person to lust after money, you know that!” Soyoung crossed her arms and leveled her gaze at him.

 

“Why you took the money is none of my concern.” She replied, “This evidence is more than enough to prove that you defrauded the imperial court and took official funds for personal use. And for that, you will be punished.” 

 

“Soyoung!” Jinyoung cried, “I swear that I never did any of this! Bring me to the person who accused me of doing this, show me the person who brought you this information! I’m sure I can find loopholes in what they’re saying!” 

 

“I have already questioned them myself.” Soyoung replied smoothly, “So there is no need for you to question my informant.” Jinyoung’s heart squeezed in his chest as he took in the firm expression on Soyoung’s face. The Empress’ message was clear; she believed that he had done what he had been accused of, and there was no way she was going to let him prove otherwise. She wasn’t here to let him defend himself; she was merely here to inform him of what his punishment would be.

 

“Why don’t you trust me?” Jinyoung whispered, his heart sinking like a rock in the ocean as he reached for Soyoung’s hand. A flicker of pain went through Soyoung’s eyes before her steel mask settled back over her face, taking one step to the side to avoid his touch.

 

“Trust is a two way street, Park Jinyoung.” She replied, “And you were the one who broke that promise first, so I see no reason why I should still give you my trust.” Jinyoung’s body trembled as he sank to the ground.

 

“From today on, you shall hold the title of Supervisor over the disaster area reconstruction efforts.” Soyoung announced, “Since you were the one who stole all those funds and impeded their restoration efforts, it is only right that you personally take the money and make sure it is used where it should have been used in the first place. You can also take this opportunity to earn some merit to pay for defending someone who wanted to steal the throne. You shall set off today.” Jinyoung stared at his wife. 

 

“But that location is near the edges of the country!” He protested, “It will take weeks to get there even by ship! How could I leave your side and go that far away?”

 

“Even if it would take months to travel there, I would still send you there.” Soyoung replied, “Because that is what you ought to do to make up for your wrongdoings.” Jinyoung swallowed hard. Soyoung’s tone was firm and unwavering, making it clear that her mind had been set. At this point, any efforts to change her mind would be in vain. 

 

“Then...when can I come back?” He asked quietly, “When the restoration effort is finished?” Soyoung shook her head.

 

“From the moment you step out of this city, you are not to return.” She answered, “Whether the restoration efforts are finished in a few weeks or a few months or a few years, you shall not return unless you are summoned back to the palace under royal decree.” Jinyoung felt his body grow numb in shock at Soyoung’s answer. The way she had originally framed it, he was to be given a position, a task under royal decree to help with restoring a devastated part of the empire. But, if one was listening closely, there was another purpose lying below Soyoung’s words: this was a punishment. 

 

No, not just a punishment. 

 

If he wasn’t to return to the capital unless summoned under her imperial order, then this wasn’t merely a punishment for a crime that he hadn’t even committed; no, he was being driven out of the imperial palace. 

 

To put it another way, he was being exiled, potentially for the rest of his life.

 

“Soyoung.” Jinyoung finally said, his voice sounding desperate, “Do you really need to take this step?” Soyoung sighed softly.

 

“You should have known this day was coming.” She replied simply before turning to go.

 

“Soyoung.” The Empress paused as Jinyoung called out to her. Jinyoung took a deep breath before continuing.

 

“Why are you doing this?” He asked, “You have neither asked me why I supposedly took this money, nor given me a chance to defend myself. You say that you have an informant who gave you this information, yet you didn’t bring that person with you. And instead of bringing me in front of the imperial court, you come here to declare what my sentence would be.” He gazed at his wife imploringly. 

 

“It’s not like you to take care of matters like this.” Jinyoung said softly, “So tell me. Why are you doing this?” Soyoung’s shoulders rose and fell slightly as she sighed before turning her head slightly. 

 

“We know that you never wanted to marry into the Yuan imperial family.” She replied, “You’d rather spend your days in the imperial library, pursuing the endless expanse of knowledge that is in this world. And yet, we picked you of all the princes to be our husband, despite your insistence that you were not a suitable husband. And now, after all that has happened, we know that you were right. The palace isn’t the right place for you. So now, we are returning your freedom to you. After the restoration efforts are completed, you are free to go wherever you want, except for this capital city and the imperial palace. All you have to do is send a letter whenever you go somewhere new, and money will be sent accordingly to fund your living expenses. Go and pursue the life you truly want, Park Jinyoung.” 

 

As her words fell on Jinyoung’s ears, he realized with a start that Soyoung had switched to using the royal “we” once more. In his entire time here, he had rarely ever heard Soyoung use it before; in fact, the last time was when she had seen him dancing with other girls at the last winter hunt and become angry as a result. It was a way of speech that emperors used to set themselves apart, higher above than the rest of the population, and one that he knew Soyoung took pains to avoid using. To hear it again, after they had become so much closer and open with each other, sent a spike of pain through Jinyoung’s heart. By switching to the royal “we,” Soyoung was drawing a clear line between her and Jinyoung. At this point, she was no longer his wife, the woman who opened her heart to him and saw him as her partner. Instead, she was the ruling sovereign, and he was her subject. 

 

“Zhen.”

 

It was such a simple, short word, and yet just hearing it seemed to open up a chasm between Soyoung and Jinyoung, one that he didn’t even dare hope he could cross. Within the span of a moment, Jinyoung felt like he was looking at a different person, a stranger that he didn’t recognize at all.

 

“Soyoung…” He tried one more time, “You don’t want me anymore?” Soyoung’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the question, a flicker of emotion passing through her dark orbs before she once again turned away from him.

 

“Go and prepare your things.” She said simply, and with a swish of golden cloth, she was gone. Slowly, Jinyoung tried to get up, only to sink back to the ground, his legs going weak both from kneeling and the shock of all that had just happened. The tightness in his chest refused to go away, working its way up Jinyoung’s throat until he felt like he could barely breathe. Soyoung’s cold expression, the unfamiliar way of speech that she used...every brief recollection of it sent another spike of pain through Jinyoung. His vision began to blur, and with a start, Jinyoung realized that tears were filling his eyes. He rubbed at his eyes as tears began rolling down his face, staring numbly at the wetness on his fingers as the flood refused to stop. 

 

It hurts.

 

Soyoung’s cold rejection, and her refusal to accept his pleas and efforts to defend himself...everything hurt like a thousand fresh wounds on his body. Wrapping his arms around himself, Jinyoung curled into a little ball on the floor, and then, the only sound left in the room was his muffled sobs.

____________________________________________________________________________

Nighttime, Soyoung

 

The sound of horses neighing and servants chattering filled the front courtyard of the imperial palace as night fell, the complete opposite of what was usually seen by this hour. Of course, tonight was no normal night. Carriages and carts filled the front courtyard, all packed with Prince Consort Jinyoung’s personal items and supplies that were to be taken with him to restore the flooded areas of the empire. Servants called out to each other as they checked everything one final time before the entire retinue set off. Soyoung stood at the lookout point at the highest level of Mentality Hall, her watchful gaze taking in everything going on below. 

 

“Jie.” Soyoung turned her head slightly as Eunseong came to join her.

 

“Making sure that everything is in place?” He asked. 

 

“Merely making sure that the servants don’t do anything foolish.” Soyoung replied. As the servants finished packing, Jinyoung was led into the courtyard by a few servants, headed for the large carriage set at the front of the line of carriages and caravans. As one eunuch put out a footstool to help Jinyoung step into the carriage, the young prince turned his head towards the lookout point, as if he had known Soyoung was there all along. Soyoung’s chest clenched for a moment as their eyes met, and Jinyoung gazed at her longingly for a few moments before sighing, turning his head, and stepping into the carriage. Soyoung swallowed hard as she watched the group of travelers begin moving out of the palace. Although she had been the one who ordered Jinyoung out of the palace, she couldn’t help but feel that a tiny part of her heart was screaming for him to stay, for her to go and pull him back before he got too far away. Her hands clenched tightly into fists, so tightly that she could feel her nails digging into her palms. 

 

“If you don’t want him to leave, you could bring him back.” Eunseong said, seeming to notice what she was feeling, “There are other ways to punish him short of sending him away like this.” Soyoung blew out her breath slowly and shook her head.

 

“No.” She replied, “I have to do this.” Eunseong gazed at her for a long moment.

 

“I’ve looked at the information accusing Brother-in-law of taking the imperial funds.” He said at last, “It’s full of unexplained holes and gaps in logic. And besides, he’s not the type to pursue a rich lifestyle. He was foolish enough to buy Hyeyoung’s act, but surely he’s not foolish enough to take official court funds.” He frowned slightly.

 

“If I could see it, then surely you could too.” He said, “Right?” Soyoung sighed.

 

“I know. I haven’t lost all sense of logic from my anger yet.” She replied softly as the last of the travelers left the palace and the main gates closed behind them. 

 

“Then, why…?” Eunseong asked. Soyoung’s gaze lingered on the palace gates, even though she knew that Jinyoung would not be returning through them any time soon. 

 

“Eunseong, I always thought that the best way to protect Jinyoung was to keep him by my side, shielding him from anything that could come his way.” She said, “But this time, I’ve discovered that I was wrong.” She sighed and shook her head.

 

“The longer I keep him here, the more he becomes a target for those with ulterior motives.” Soyoung continued, “Hyeyoung’s actions were one of them, and the accusations that he had defrauded official court funds were the same. On top of that, my little poet husband is too naive, too innocent to see through those ulterior motives and protect himself from their attacks. But the longer I coddle that man, the longer he will remain that naive.” Eunseong thought for a moment before understanding filled his eyes.

 

“Then...you are throwing him out there because you want him to learn for himself how to tell who can be trusted and who cannot, who is a good person, and who isn’t?” He guessed, “You want him to learn how to survive on his own, away from imperial protection. That’s why you accepted all of the accusations without investigating it yourself.” Soyoung sighed and nodded. 

 

“That is the only way he will learn.” She replied, “And that is the only way he will mature and become the person he has the potential to be. The accusations were full of holes, but it presented me with an opportunity to send him away, and I decided to take it. After that, we’ll see what the people hiding in the shadows will try to do, now that he is gone.” 

 

“Then...do you really never intend to call him back?” Eunseong asked. Soyoung sighed and lifted her head to let the wind blow at her long hair. 

 

“Who knows.” She replied, “If there comes a need to call him back, perhaps I will. But if there isn’t…” She laughed dryly.

 

“This palace is a complicated place.” She said, “You and I know that very well. While my intentions are for him to mature, if he doesn’t need to return, I am more than willing to continue giving him his freedom.” Eunseong gazed at his sister for a long moment.

 

“But you’re hurting, jie.” He said quietly, “You’ve fallen in love with him, haven’t you?” Soyoung was startled for a moment by her brother’s observation, then laughed instead.

 

“Love?” She repeated, “Brother, I am not meant to be someone who can have the luxury of love. That is a fact that I understood a while ago.” She reached down and laid a hand on her stomach.

 

“All I want to do now is to bring this child into the world and raise it to be the next ruler of this empire.” She said, “Even if I have to do it by myself.” Eunseong reached out and laid a hand on her arm.

 

“You’re not alone.” He reminded her, “You still have me and Yeojin-noona.” Soyoung smiled faintly and patted his hand.

 

“Thank you, Brother.” She replied. Soyoung cast one more look down at the palace gates, then pivoted on her heel.

 

“I’m going back to rest now.” She announced. 

 

“Good night, jie.” Eunseong replied, bowing as Soyoung left. Eunseong sighed softly as Soyoung walked down the steps leading to the lookout point and walked back to her chambers.

 

Sister, when will you stop silently bearing all the pain of your decisions by yourself?

 

____________________________________________________________________________

Soyoung kept her head held up high as she walked back to her chambers alone, her back straight and her eyes gazing firmly forward as always. If anyone walked by her, they could see nothing about the turmoil going on inside of her at that moment, barely suppressed beneath the expressionless mask that she kept over her face. After she stepped inside her innermost chambers and sent all of the servants on duty away though, did Soyoung shut the doors behind her and let the mask fall off her face at last. Barely bothering to move from where she was standing, she slumped against the doors and slipped down to the ground, her body trembling as she finally stopped pushing back on the mixture of emotions that had been building inside of her. 

 

And then, finally, did Soyoung let herself cry.

____________________________________________________________________________

For a full week after Jinyoung’s departure, Soyoung barely took a single step out of her room. Most of the time, she sat silently at the foot of the bed or at her desk, her eyes slightly glazed over as she stared at nothing in particular. In a way, it was miserable to be consistently inside her official chambers. She had long gotten used to having the room belong not only to her, but to Jinyoung as well, and even when he wasn’t there or sleeping in another room, she found comfort in knowing that she could find him if she wanted to. 

 

But now, knowing that he was gone, the room felt terribly empty. 

 

And yet, Soyoung couldn’t find the energy to move out of the room.

 

Eunseong came to find her every day around mealtime, doing his best to coax a few bites of food into his sister even as she stubbornly insisted that she wasn’t hungry. The Grand Prince attempted to tempt her out of the room with offers of swordplay or taking her on a walk around the marketplace, but Soyoung turned down all of his invitations. The court officials began to grow anxious as the empress refused to leave her chambers, leaving official writs and petitions untouched on her desk and matters left undiscussed as she failed to appear for morning court. Whispers began to spread among the servants that the loss of the Prince Consort and his alleged treasonous acts had damaged the empress beyond repair, leaving the future of the country up in the air and in a constant state of flux. Somewhere in the back of Soyoung’s mind, she knew that if she didn’t get back to work soon, the court officials would move to appoint a regent. And if they did that, the most likely choice would be her uncle, Jang Jaewon. Once power fell into his hands, there was no going back. 

 

But still, she felt so exhausted and empty, far too worn out to even think about running the entire Yuan empire. It was as if when Jinyoung had left, he had taken a part of her with her, leaving her feeling incredibly empty inside now that his ever constant presence had disappeared.

 

You were the one who sent him away.

 

You were the one who thought it’d be a good idea to stop protecting him.

 

Yes, that was all true. And yet…

 

I never expected it to hurt so much.

 

Did I… really fall in love with the little poet?

 

On the morning of the eighth day of her self imposed house arrest, Soyoung could hear the sounds of the court officials gathering outside her chambers, along with the clinking sound of boots that told her at least the highest ranking military leaders had arrived as well, Yeojin likely among them.

 

“Your Majesty, please return to your duties!” One court official called out.

 

“Your Majesty, we are begging you! Please return to your duties!” Another called out, “The country cannot continue on like this!” A third court official took up the cry, followed by many others, until the court officials were all shouting the same thing in unison.

 

“Your Majesty, please return to your duties!” 

 

“Your Majesty, please return to your duties!” The sound echoed through Soyoung’s chambers, unavoidable even as she covered her ears. 

 

Why? Why must I return to shouldering the burdens of this country?

 

I’m tired, I’m so tired. 

 

Why must you all force me? 

 

Please, just stop.

 

Soyoung closed her eyes and tried to ignore the sound of the court officials gathered outside, slowly shutting out their unified pleading until the only sound she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat. 

 

Then, she felt a flicker of movement coming from within her, a fluttering sensation that came from inside her belly. A soft gasp escaped Soyoung’s lips as she felt the unfamiliar sensation, her hand resting on her slightly rounded stomach. For a moment, she wondered if she had just imagined it. Then, it came again, more pronounced and obvious this time. Soyoung’s lips parted in surprise as she felt a ripple of movement against her palm, a sensation that came from the lower part of her stomach. It came quickly, and was gone almost as soon as it came, but Soyoung was sure that she had felt it. Her heart pounded loudly in her ears as she ran through the possibilities of what she could be feeling before finally settling on the most likely one under the current circumstances.

 

The baby. 

 

Or, to be more specific, she had felt the baby move for the first time. 

 

Soyoung’s hand trembled as she ran her hand gently over her stomach again.

 

“Child, is that you?” She asked softly, her voice filled with wonder. As if the baby had heard her, she felt another flutter from within her womb in response to her question. 

 

Don’t be sad, Mother, the baby seemed to be saying, I’m still here with you. You’re not alone.

 

Soyoung swallowed hard, her eyes filling with tears. 

 

That’s right, I’m not alone.

 

I still have things to fight for, things to keep working hard to protect. 

 

This child, and the future generations of this country, are depending on me to be strong and continue keeping the empire in peace and prosperity. 

 

I cannot give up, not now. 

 

Soyoung took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before wiping at her eyes and pushing herself to her feet. 

 

I’ve stayed like this long enough. It’s time to get my act together, and continue walking forward.

 

Taking another deep breath, Soyoung wiped her face clean of tears one more time, then pushed open the doors to her rooms. Sunlight streamed into the room, making her squint for a moment as her eyes adjusted to the bright onslaught of light after having stayed inside a mostly dark room for a full week. The court officials’ pleas fell silent as Soyoung opened the door, their faces looking hopeful at the empress’ appearance. After her eyes adjusted, Soyoung looked down at the servants that had gathered below. 

 

“You, you, and you.” She said, picking a few out of the crowd, “Come inside and help me dress.” The servants exchanged confused glances before rushing to do as they were told.

 

“Your Majesty, where do you intend to go?” One court official ventured as Soyoung turned to go back inside her room. Soyoung sighed and turned slightly to look at him.

 

“To hold court.” She replied, “Isn’t that what you all wanted? If you ask any more questions, it will turn into afternoon court instead of morning court.” The older man’s eyes widened in delight, and he and the other court officials quickly bowed.

 

“We shall wait for Your Majesty in Mentality Hall.” They intoned. Soyoung nodded slightly and closed the doors behind her. Before long, the servants had finished helping her dress and fixing her hair, and Soyoung cast one more look into the mirror before stepping out of her rooms again. 

 

It’s time to start anew.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

The first month that Jinyoug spent in the flooded areas was absolutely miserable. Progress in rebuilding the towns had been slow at best, and hadn’t moved at all in others. Although Yeojin had sent over supplies a little while back, there had been no order whatsoever in distributing any of them. In the end, most of the goods had disproportionately ended up in the hands of the relatively more powerful individuals, leaving little for those who were originally poor. Arrangements were made for Jinyoung to live outside the devastated area, so he personally had no need to worry about food or shelter. It seemed that even as an unofficially exiled royal, he was still given the best that he could have in the current situation. On the other hand though, his distance from the devastated areas made it far more difficult for him to figure out how to address the restoration effort quickly and efficiently, and also made it harder for the people to trust him. It was obvious that the townspeople had had poor experiences with court officials in the past, and every time Jinyoung walked through, they all stared at him warily, their eyes filled with mistrust. In the end, no matter what Jinyoung said, they barely listened. Jinyoung did his best to communicate with the people, but they weren’t interested in the least bit. 

 

And so, little progress was made in the first month that Jinyoung spent away from the imperial palace. He took to standing on the little balcony outside of his room every night, his eyes gazing up at the glittering silver moon hanging in the sky. 

 

Soyoung, are you alright? Are you still angry? He often wondered, Can you see the same moon as me?

 

In the first month that Jinyoung was out of the palace, Soyoung finally announced her pregnancy to the imperial court. The officials were taken aback, to say the least. The empress had rarely shown outward affection to her husband in front of them, and with the rapidly deteriorating relationship between them, none of them expected the royal couple to have conceived a child. Soyoung was barely fazed by their disbelief, though. To emphasize her point that there was a royal heir on the way, she made a show of calling all of the imperial physicians to Mentality Hall, where they all took her pulse in front of all of the court officials. After that, no one dared to question that the Empress was with child. 

 

Of course, after the disbelief faded came the overprotective words. 

 

“You should rest more, Your Majesty.” They would say, “You shouldn’t work too hard during this time.”

 

“Leave more work to us, Your Majesty.” Others would say, “Perhaps we should appoint an advisor to help you with addressing petitions?” 

 

Soyoung, of course, had absolutely no intention of changing her lifestyle in the least bit, much less give more power and authority over to older members of the imperial court. From the day she had stepped into this position, they had all looked down on her because she was young and female. It had taken her years of hard work to solidify her hold on the throne and establish her position as a formidable ruler. And now, they expected her to let them chip away at her authority? Not a chance. 

 

“I’m pregnant, not made of glass.” She replied swiftly every time any of the court officials dared to bring up the matter again, “There have been multiple Empress regents in previous dynasties who ran the country while raising their children, so I see no reason why I should be any different.”

 

She was the sovereign Empress, not a concubine coddled into a delicate flower in the imperial harem. If the court officials thought they could start influencing her wishes and the fate of the country merely because there was a child growing in her belly, they were sorely mistaken. 

 

Jang Jaewon, on his part, was oddly complacent with the entire idea. Soyoung had expected that he would stand by those who constantly raised issues with a pregnant Empress ruling the country, but the Grand Preceptor did little more than smile and nod whenever Soyoung suggested something. To him, there apparently was no issues with her being there. It was strange, and it made Soyoung uneasy. She knew her uncle well enough to know that he wouldn’t just sit and let an opening like this pass. It was almost as if he was waiting for something to happen, and then just letting nature take its course before he stepped in and took control. 

 

It seemed that until the child was born, and even afterwards, Soyoung would have to be wary of him.

__________________________________________________________________________

In the second month of Jinyoung’s time away from the imperial palace, he decided that something would have to change in the flooded areas. If they were going to really rebuild this area and restore it to the way it used to be, then he knew the people would have to trust him. And to do that, he couldn’t just sit in his well decorated and warm room away from them. The longer he stayed at a distance from them, the more the townspeople thought of him as an untouchable noble who would only control them and take what little they had. 

 

And so, Jinyoung ordered the servants with him to prepare clothing as plain as possible, and move him into the town. All the warm clothes, silken blankets, and other goods that had been sent with him for personal use were left behind in his room, and he took only the basics of what he needed before moving into the little inn in the devastated town. The people were shocked, to say the least. What was the Prince Consort of Yuan doing, to be living in this broken area with them?

 

And yet, Jinyoung started to notice a difference once he moved into the town.

 

After he stopped living apart from them, the townspeople slowly stopped staring at him like he was a new exotic animal they had never seen before. It took some time, but a few weeks later, Jinyoung found that the older men who lived near him were more willing to talk to him, even if only on occasion. Seizing the opportunity, Jinyoung began using those occasional conversations to gather information from the townspeople about their current condition and the greatest needs that they were currently facing. By the end of the month, he had managed to get a good grasp of the most urgent needs that had to be met first, and began drafting up a plan to restore the town in an orderly fashion.

 

Interestingly enough, living among the common people made Jinyoung think of two women in his life: Soyoung and Ryu Soojin. Soyoung had always made a point to go among the common people to get a good grasp of what was happening in the city rather than rely solely on the word of the court officials serving her. Even though it meant more work for her, Soyoung always made an effort to step outside of the palace in plain clothes. On the other hand, while Ryu Soojin moved mostly during the night, she too took requests directly from the people. With her skills, Soojin could certainly obtain a position in the magistrate’s office, or perhaps even in the imperial court. And yet, she chose to work alone, staying among the people rather than taking an official position. Both women chose to walk among the common people, and now Jinyoung could see why. There was only so much that someone could see while staying within the elaborately decorated confines of their own room. That was true for Soyoug, and the same held for Jinyoung now. Being among the people made them feel like he was one of them rather than a high and mighty untouchable noble. If Jinyoung hadn’t stepped out of the palace himself, he would never have been able to learn this merely by reading books. 

 

Miss Soojin…

 

I never got to say goodbye to you. 

 

Are you doing well?

 

Are you still spending your nights going around the capitol to help the common people whose voices cannot reach Soyoung?

 

In the second month that Jinyoung was out of the palace, Soyoung had to admit that her lifestyle was going to have to change. Although she had insisted on everything staying the same, she had little choice to admit that some adjustments were needed. The growing child sapped her strength faster than before, causing her to fall asleep at what seemed like random hours of the day. And of course, it didn’t help that the child was becoming ever the more rambunctious as it grew bigger. Its kicks often woke her up in the middle of the night, refusing to calm down until Soyoung gently ran her hand over her belly and spoke softly to the baby. After nearly dozing off during morning court one day, Soyoung decided that daily court services would have to be pushed back to the afternoon to make sure she was paying full attention.

 

Of course, that wasn’t the only issue. The baby’s growing size also meant that Soyoung’s center of gravity was changing, which also meant that while archery was still doable, leaping from one rooftop to another during the night while disguised as Ryu Soojin was no longer an option by the end of the month. In the end, Soyoung had no choice but to hand off her weekly runs to Yeojin. Extra time meant that Soyoung had more time to read the neverending stream of petitions coming to her desk, but it also meant Soyoung was more confined to the palace. Her friend would laugh every time Soyoung grumbled and complained, reminding her that everything would be worth it for the coming child. She would be able to resume her activities after the baby was born, her friend would remind her. Soyoung would only huff in response and poke at her stomach with a half grumbled “It’s all your fault” to the baby inside, to which the child would respond with another flurry of kicks. On top of it all, Soyoung’s memory was slowly turning terrible, an experience which had her half convinced that something was terribly wrong with her brain before Eunseong explained to her that it was common among all pregnant women. 

 

Now that nearly two months had passed since Jinyoung’s departure, Soyoung found that she was slowly becoming accustomed to life without Jinyoung again. Sometimes though, Soyoung still found her gaze wandering towards the imperial library when she passed by, and at nighttime she would look across the courtyard to the guest room where he had slept before she had sent him away, only to remember that the darkened windows signaled he wasn’t there. And sometimes, on her way back from court, Soyoung’s footsteps would wander on instinct towards the library where Jinyoung used to sit and read before she paused halfway and remembered that he wasn’t sitting there, waiting for her. Then, Soyoung would laugh dryly, shake her head, and turn away again. 

 

Stop thinking about him. The sooner you let him go, the better it will be for both of you.

 

__________________________________________________________________________

In the third month after Jinyoung left the palace, he finally began to make progress in restoring the town ravaged by the flood. Instead of focusing on merely giving food to the townspeople, he focused on restoring the stores and homes that had been knocked down by the floodwaters, drawing on the things he had read to decide on the best method to create stable infrastructure in the waterfront town and its unique landscape. Eventually, he began stepping in to help too, starting with small things like cutting and shaving trees for wood and moving to heavier tasks like lifting as his body became stronger and more accustomed to physical labor. The townspeople were delighted to see a member of the nobility stepping in to help them, and the more he did so, the more they were willing to listen to him. It was somewhat unexpected, but Jinyoung discovered that the people were becoming more trusting of him, more willing to treat him as one of their own. He was no longer the prince consort, but their friend, someone that they trusted and listened to. He began trading ideas with the town leaders, modifying ideas as necessary and suggesting new ones to accommodate the townspeople’s thoughts. At night, Jinyoung would tell the children stories of the capitol and the imperial palace as they all shared a meal together, delighting them with accounts of the elaborate banquets that were held and the lively market that lined the capitol streets. The children would gaze at him with their eyes wide in delight, barely seeming to believe what they were hearing. 

 

“What about the Empress?” They would ask, “Is she a mighty warrior just like what the stories say?” The adult townspeople would try to shush the children every time they asked about Soyoung, but Jinyoung would shake his head and assure them that it was alright.

 

“The Empress is a mighty warrior.” He would agree every time, “But she is also kind, and cares a lot for her people. Sometimes she has quite the temper, but she neve really gets angry unless someone really has done something terrible. And even then, she always punishes and rewards fairly.”

 

“Is she beautiful?” Sometimes the young boys would ask, and Jinyoung would think back on his memory of Soyoung, of the young empress astride a tall white horse, her long hair blowing in the wind as her sharp eyes scanned the area for any sign of prey, before laughing ever so slightly.

 

“Yes.” He would agree, “She has quite the temper, but she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.” The children often asked him about Soyoung, but for some reason, Jinyoung’s eyes would fill with tears every time without fail, his heart twisting with yearning as he thought of his wife. And when he cried, the children would huddle around him and take turns giving him hugs, their innocent and warm embraces filling Jinyoung with peace and comfort. Their kind pure smiles and wide sparkling eyes never failed to put a smile on Jinyoung’s face, even through his tears, but sometimes he couldn’t help but remember his promise to try for a child with Soyoung before everything had fallen into chaos with Hyeyoung’s arrival. What would their children look like? He couldn’t help but wonder sometimes, Would they take after Jinyoung and his quiet nature more, or would they take after Soyoung and her warrior prowess? Whenever the thought came to mind though, Jinyoung couldn’t help but shake his head and laugh dryly. At this point, he likely would never know. 

 

Soyoung...I miss you.

 

In the third month without Jinyoung by her side, Soyoung began receiving regular updates from the men she had sent with Jinyoung to address the restoration efforts. A smile would cross her face every time she read the letters, which detailed the progress that Jinyoung had begun making and the good relationships he was building with the townspeople. She was surprised to see that Jinyoung had chosen to move out of his comfortable quarters and instead live in the previously flooded town. On second thought though, it made sense. By living among the people, Jinyoung made himself one of them rather than their supervisor who pointed fingers and told them what to do. For those who lived in poorer conditions like the waterside towns, often looked down on by the nobility, that was one of the quickest ways to their hearts. The old Jinyoung would have been at a complete loss at what to do, likely attempting to fall back on the old school teachings of the scholars and turning the people against him instead by doing so. And yet, he had managed to come up with that idea by himself and win the people’s hearts by doing so. Soyoung chuckled softly as she folded up the letter and placed it on the table before running one hand gently over her rounded stomach. 

 

“It looks like sending your father there wasn’t that bad of an idea.” She noted. The baby nudged her hand in reply, making Soyoung laugh again. 

 

“Sometimes I wonder if you really understand me.” She wondered, tracing one finger lightly around the spot where she had felt the baby move. 

 

“You’re sounding maternal.” Soyoung looked up at the sound of Eunseong’s voice, a light smile crossing her lips at the sight of her brother.

 

“I am going to be a mother after all.” She noted with a little smirk, “Weren’t you the one who said I should talk to the child more?”

 

“That I did.” Eunseong replied, “But I’m also glad you seem more comfortable with everything now.” Soyoung smiles faintly.

 

“To be honest, I’ve never felt so uncertain of something in my entire life.” She admitted, “I felt that way when I first found out about this child, and I still think that way now. But I agreed to try for a child, and now that the heavens have really given me a child, I will take responsibility for it.” Soyoung smiled wistfully. 

 

“I will make sure this child grows up happily and gets what neither of us could.” She added after another thought. Eunseong smiled and placed the polished wooden box he had been carrying onto the table.

 

“And to do that, you must be well nourished.” He said, “Here is your afternoon snack.” Soyoung’s stomach growled at that exact moment, making the Grand Prince laugh.

 

“It looks like my little niece or nephew is hungry.” He teased. 

 

“I’m always hungry.” Soyoung complained, “I feel like I’m having six meals a day instead of three! How am I going to lose all this weight after the baby is born?” Eunseong chuckled.

 

“Now is the time to be gaining weight.” He replied as he opened the box and pushed it towards her, “We’ll figure out how to lose it later.” Soyoung peeked into the box eagerly, her eyes widening in surprise as she saw the dish inside. 

 

Tteok.

 

“Did you make this?” She asked. Eunseong smiled and nodded.

 

“It’s been one of your favorites since the beginning of pregnancy right?” He said, “You haven’t had it since…” his voice trailed off, but Soyoung knew where he had been going.

 

Since Jinyoung left. 

 

Forcing a smile to her face, Soyoung picked up a piece of rice cake and nibbled on it cautiously. The sweet taste of the chewy snack spread over her tongue and down , a taste that usually made her smile genuinely on instinct. This time though, Soyoung only smiled dryly and sighed quietly.

 

“This taste...it’s not the same.” She said softly. Eunseong frowned.

 

“But I followed the recipe that Jinyoung left behind.” He mused, “Why is it different?” Soyoung shrugged and continued nibbling on the rice cake anyway. It was the same dessert, the same ingredients, and the same flavor as the ones that Jinyoung had made for her. As far as she could tell, there was nothing different about what had gone into it. 

 

And yet, it just wasn’t the same. 

 

Soyoung sighed and made herself swallow the rice cake before closing the lid.

 

“I’ll finish it later.” She said, “You can go now, Brother.” Eunseong looked down at her in concern for a long moment before squeezing Soyoung’s shoulder gently.

 

“Send for me if you need anything.” He said. Soyoung pressed a smile to her lips, nodded, and waved her brother off. After Eunseong left, the smile slipped off of Soyoung’s face, and another sigh escaped her lips as she ran her fingers over the wooden box.

 

Jinyoung...I miss you.

 

____________________________________________________________________________

In the fourth month that Jinyoung was away from the palace, disaster once again struck the once flooded town. The weather had grown warmer along with the arrival of summer, which helped with lowering the water levels and preventing any further flooding. With the drying conditions though also came the risk of fires breaking out among the simple wooden homes, particularly the unfinished unpolished ones, and while Jinyoung made sure to remind the townspeople to be careful, he awoke one night to the chaos of multiple homes and storefronts caught on fire. Jinyoung rushed to help put out the fires along with the other townspeople, but in the end, several members of the little community still lost their lives in the fire. Jinyoung could only watch helplessly as family members cried as they buried their loved ones outside of the city. Jinyoung went to stand by one member in particular, a young wife whose husband had befriended Jinyoung not long after he had moved into the little town. The young woman sobbed before her husband’s grave with her young child and elderly father in law standing next to her, too distraught to even say a word. The elderly man rose to his feet as he saw Jinyoung approach. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Jinyoung said quietly, “I should have been more careful.” The old man shook his head.

 

“How could we blame you for this, Prince?” He asked, “You have already done so much for our people. It was his fate. I only pity my daughter in law and grandson, now that they can only rely on themselves to make a living.” The old man gently took Jinyoung’s hand.

 

“Do you miss your wife, Prince?” He asked. Jinyoung blinked in surprise at the sudden question, and the old man chuckled softly. 

 

“Don’t be surprised, Prince.” He said, “We have all heard the lonely sounds of your flute playing in the night. Every song you play is full of yearning for someone who is very far away.” Jinyoung sighed softly, realizing he’d been caught.

 

“I miss her.” He admitted at last, “Every day. No, in every free moment, my mind wanders to her.” The old man patted Jinyoung on the shoulder.

 

“You have made a place for yourself here.” He said, “But no matter what, you should go back to her side one day. Don’t just keep waiting, and value the person in front of you while you can. If you wait until that person is already gone, then you will only be filled with regrets.” The old man cast a sad look back at the sobbing young woman, Jinyoung smiled sadly.

 

“I’m afraid she won’t take me even if I try to go back.” He said wistfully, “I’ve hurt her heart too deeply.” 

 

“You are a smart young man.” The old man replied, “You will be able to think of a way.” Jinyoung’s gaze wandered over to the grave of the young husband, and over to the other mourning families. In his heart, he knew that the old man was right. Time waited for no one, and who knew what could happen tomorrow? Just yesterday, everyone was alive and well, sitting together and laughing happily as they shared a meal together. And yet, within one night, everything had changed. Jinyoung sighed and nodded.

 

“I’ll find a way.” He replied, “I definitely will.”

 

In the fourth month without Jinyoung by her side, Soyoung felt Jinyoung’s missing presence more than ever. It had been a tumultuous month; within the span of a few weeks, there had been two different attempts made on her unborn child’s life, one through poison that would only affect the fetus, and the other through a physical attack. Thankfully, Eunseong had caught onto the poison quickly and prevented Soyoung from drinking the tea. On the other hand, Soyoung had woken up in time to see the assassin in her room, and while her body was more ungainly than she had ever felt before in her life, her long years of training still allowed her to react quickly enough to knock the assassin away and hold him off until the imperial guards arrived. It was after both incidents though, that Soyoung understood why Jang Jaewon had barely said anything when she announced that pregnant or not, she intended to continue her work on the throne. He wasn’t the only one who secretly harbored dissatisfaction with a woman on the throne, and now, Soyoung’s pregnancy created weaknesses and disadvantages in her that had never been there before. It was a perfect opening to drag the young empress down, and many others would foolishly charge ahead to take advantage of it. The fools had waited long enough to see that Soyoung was fully capable of carrying a child to term, and then had made their move when it was clear that the child was stable and healthy. There was no need for Jang Jaewon to do anything yet; he would let the fools charge ahead and ruin themselves, take stock of the situation, and then decide if he needed to do anything. 

 

It was a horrible world of complicated underhanded plots that Soyoung lived in, but that had been her choice. 

 

Still though, after the second attack, Soyoung couldn’t help but wish that Jinyoung was with her, his comforting arms wrapped around her in a warm embrace, his warm smile enough to soothe whatever discomfort she was feeling. It was strange; in the past, Soyoung had faced every obstacle on her own and overcome it by herself, with only her subordinates to support her. It had been fine then.

 

So why did it feel so different now?

 

To top it all off, Soyoung had had to personally deal with the pirates that were terrorizing the trade ships after the pirates’ leader had been captured at last. The man had sneered at Soyoung of course, barely fazed at all by a woman, even the one known as the Warrior Empress. Despite everyone’s protests, Soyoung had challenged the man to a duel, making him bet that as long as she beat him while merely sitting in her chair, his men would go elsewhere to make a living. The arrogant pirate leader, taking in her exquisitely decorated clothes and obviously pregnant figure, had sneered again and agreed to battle her on that very day. Of course in the end, Soyoung had won, and the pirates duly went away. Eunseong had scolded her terribly that night, but Soyoung had merely replied that pirates were little different from bandits; they didn’t live by rules or the law. Rather, they looked up to those who were physically strong. As long as she beat their leader, then the pirates would listen. It was a survival of the fittest world, and Soyoung knew that very well from her days in the imperial military.

 

 After the chaos with the pirates, Soyoung threw herself into her work to avoid thinking about Jinyoung, even often sleeping in her personal library to avoid going back to her room and thinking of him. And yet, it still didn’t work.

 

I should still be angry with him. I am, aren’t I? That man took the trust I gave him and shred it to pieces. He took the truthful heart that I laid bare to him and broke it to pieces. I should be furious.

 

And yet, why does my heart yearn for him so much?

 

The Qixi Festival arrived before Soyoung realized it, and the capital streets were soon decorated with festive streamers and stalls selling sweets and games. Although she knew what the celebrations entailed, on the night of the festival, Soyoung slipped out of the palace by herself to wander the streets on her own. She had originally intended to bring Jinyoung to see it this year, but of course, that was no longer an option. Qixi was meant to be a celebration for lovers, for couples to enjoy the rare day when they didn’t have to be shy about their affection for each other. It was strange, of course, for a woman to be walking along the festivities by herself. Soyoung could feel multiple people staring at her as she walked by, casually nibbling on snacks as she walked along the street. She couldn’t blame them; there she was, a person who appeared to be a young noblewoman well into her sixth month of pregnancy, and yet there she was, walking along the public street without even a maid to accompany her. It was completely out of place, even under Yuan culture. On that night though, Soyoung didn’t care. On that night, Soyoung didn’t want to stay in the palace; the palace’s golden glittering walls felt especially oppressive while fireworks exploded cheerfully in the sky outside, and Soyoung wanted nothing more than to get away from the confines of the palace. 

 

And so, Soyoung entertained herself by strolling along the festivities while ignoring the people staring at her. In her mind’s eye, she could just imagine how excited Jinyoung would be if he was here with her today. She could just see him pulling her along the various stands, his eyes sparkling in delight at the new sights and sounds. His favorite, of course, would be the lantern riddles, which tested the player’s literary ability. If he could have his way, Soyoung knew Jinyoung wouldn’t have left until he had guessed every riddle correctly. No, given his personality, he would have posed questions back to the shopkeeper, likely leaving the poor men at a loss for words. Just imagining that sight was enough to bring a small smile to Soyoung’s face.

 

When Soyoung grew tired of walking, she bought a few more sticks of candied hawthorn that she had surprisingly taken a liking to and went to a second floor room in a nearby teahouse to rest her aching back. Eunseong had said that the child was growing strong and healthy, a fact that Soyoung could feel every day. In addition to the energetic child’s kicks, its growing weight often put pressure on her back, forcing Soyoung to sit down and rest far more often than before. Soyoung’s servants often had to take turns placing folded towels soaked in warm water on her back and shoulders in order to ease her sore muscles. Unfortunately, even sitting more often wasn’t the best option; sitting for too long also caused her body to grow sore, forcing Soyoung to get up and walk after a mere few hours of reading petitions. It was frustrating and sometimes slowed down the pace of Soyoung’s work, but she knew that she would have to put up with it. 

 

After she had been left alone, Soyoung sighed and sank into a plush chair near the open windows looking out onto the busy festival below. The final round of fireworks had begun, but Soyoung couldn’t bring herself to smile even as she watched the glittering sparkling colors explode into the sky before fading away slowly. Then, she slipped a flute from within her sleeve and began to play, the soft melancholic song wafting out into the night sky barely audible under the cheerful sound of fireworks. After Soyoung finished the song, she sighed and covered her eyes with one hand as she leaned back into her chair.

 

Just what is wrong with me?

 

Park Jinyoung, just what have you done to me? Why is it that no matter how I try, I just cannot stop thinking about you?

 

How is it that your mere absence has left such a gaping hole in my heart?

 

____________________________________________________________________________

In the fifth month of Jinyoung’s time away from the palace, he took the initiative to improve his archery and fighting skills. It wasn’t as if he had been particularly good in the first place; Soyoung had only ever taught him the basics, and he had become busy with other things after they had returned from the last winter hunt. But in the end, it was still a form of self protection. To top it off, the little town was often the target of small bands of bandits living nearby, and Jinyoung quickly learned that it was more helpful to know how to fight than not. In addition to that, archery allowed Jinyoung to contribute to the food supply for the townspeople, which they were more than grateful for. While the imperial court could provide rice and other staples for the townspeople, meat was still something they had to obtain by themselves. The flooding had dirtied much of the nearby water sources and the fish living in it, meaning the men often had to go to the surrounding forests to hunt wild animals to supplement the food supply. Although Jinyoung wasn’t an official member of the town, he wanted to do what he could to help. After all, wasn’t that what Soyoung had sent him to do, at least on the surface? Jinyoung was certain that Soyoung would be more than impressed if she saw how much his aim had improved.

 

The people were more than grateful, of course, and they made sure he knew that. It was rare for a nobleman to treat them so kindly, they would say, much less help them hunt for food. Jinyoung would only smile and shake his head in response to their comments. To him, the townspeople were family members to him now, and so it was only right that he did what he could to help. 

 

Of course, with his increased involvement in the town came increased attention from the young women who lived there. The young women often came to peek shyly at Jinyoung as he helped with building a new house or skinning the animal that they had caught. When Jinyoung turned around to look at them, they would blush and duck their heads before running away while giggling.

 

They more or less all knew that he was married, of course, and married to the most powerful woman in the entire country. At the same time though, they also knew that he was likely here for an indefinite period of time. It was implicit exile, and everyone knew it. They just didn’t dare to say it. Why else would the Empress’ own husband be sent here?

 

Jinyoung made a point to ignore their advances however, merely offering them little smiles whenever one of the young women happened to stare at him for long enough. In his heart, the only woman that he wanted by his side was Soyoung, and he had already messed up enough with his wife. Starting relationships with anyone in this little town or even giving another woman the wrong impression that they could start something, would only make things worse whether or not he made it back to the palace.

 

Jinyoung’s days passed that way in relative simplicity, his life falling into the regular rhythm of practice in the morning, then going out to hunt with the other men, and then coming back to help rebuild the town. It was a comfortably simple life, one that many people certainly yearned to have. In the past, Jinyoung might have appreciated this lifestyle despite the manual labor that went along with it. His days started and ended at regular hours, and the simplicity of his days gave him more than ample time to read and continue his studies with the books he had brought with him without having to consider what the court officials would think of him or what Soyoung would need his help with next.

 

And yet, something inside Jinyoung knew, he just knew, that he was no longer satisfied to live out his days like this anymore.

 

In the fifth month without Jinyoung by her side, Soyoung swore that she would never go through pregnancy ever again. Her mood swings from the beginning of pregnancy had returned in full force as she entered the seventh month, often causing Soyoung to be unreasonably happy over small things or on the verge of tears over small irritations caused by court officials when they reported something new to her only for her moods to switch again a few minutes later. Of course, the ever increasing physical discomfort didn’t make things much better. Her swollen stomach was making it harder for Soyoung to walk, forcing her to slow down her usual brisk pace, and sometimes she even found herself waddling in order to maintain her balance. The young empress found herself always feeling hot and bloated, an experience she often complained to Eunseong about. The Grand Prince would only smile in amusement as his sister complained that she felt more like a beached whale than an empress, taking in all of her rambling complaints with only the occasional “mhm” of affirmation in reply as he gently massaged her sore back. It would be over soon, he would remind her, and once she saw her child, she would certainly forget all the discomfort she had gone through in the past nine months. Soyoung would only scoff in reply. She would admit that she had grown more protective and fond of her child in the past few months, but she was far from ready to admit she’d turn into an emotional mess when she saw the baby. That was far too different from her usual code of conduct to be acceptable.

 

As if she didn’t have enough things to think about, the court officials began to drop hints to Soyoung suggesting that she should find a new husband. On paper, Soyoung was still married to Jinyoung, but it was increasingly becoming clear that she had no intention of bringing him back any time soon. For all they knew, Prince Jinyoung could be stuck in that town for the rest of his life. It was both strange and risky for the reigning Empress to be without a husband by her side for so long, or so they argued. Emperor or Empress, the reigning ruler needed an official spouse by their side to be their aide and partner. And while the Empress was pregnant now, it was hard to say what would happen in the future. Children, especially those born into the imperial family, lived delicate lives. While no one dared to say it aloud, who knew whether the child in Soyoung’s womb would reach adulthood, or even be suitable to take the throne in the future?

 

Despite understanding the court officials’ concerns, Soyoung firmly responded each time that she had no intention of remarrying. Finding a new husband would require officially divorcing Jinyoung, and up until this point, Goryeo had been kept in the dark about all that had happened. For all they knew, the prince was still in the palace, and Soyoung had no intention of turning Goryeo against her by divorcing their prince. After all, the favor an emperor showed to a foreign born consort reflected the respect and favor the emperor showed to her country, and the same principle applied to Jinyoung and the Goryeo empire behind him. At this point, there was no need for Goryeo to think Soyoung was giving them a metaphorical slap to the face. 

 

Despite her resistance, the court officials tried to introduce eligible young noblemen to her, often bribing some servants to arrange an apparently coincidental meeting between him and Soyoung. No matter what they tried to do though, Soyoung immediately sent each potential candidate away. She knew very well that each court official had nothing to lose and everything to gain from introducing their sons to Soyoung. Obtaining the position of father-in-law to the Empress would bring glory to the entire family, even if their son had to marry into the wife’s family rather than follow the norm, which went in the opposite direction. Soyoung wasn’t a fool though; she knew better than to accept the court officials’ attempts. Choosing any one of them was equivalent to giving that man’s family unfathomable power and support, both in court and otherwise. The Empress would be seen as taking a side, showing favor to one clan over the others, and who knew what would happen as a result of that? 

 

No, she couldn’t let that happen. For now, having Jinyoung as her husband on paper was enough, even if he wasn’t by her side.

 

And somewhere, deep in Soyoung’s heart, she knew that no one, absolutely no one, could ever truly take Jinyoung’s place. He was more than just a man who was legally married to her. The silly little poet, stubborn and dependent on his boring books as he was, had slowly, but surely, worked his way into Soyoung’s heart, perhaps without even realizing it. No one could replicate what he had done, she was sure of it.

 

And then, at the end of the royal couple’s five months apart, a letter arrived for Soyoung that changed everything once more.

________________________________________________________________________

Soyoung was casually reading in her library one day when Hyojun arrived, a letter in his hand.

 

“Your Majesty, this came for you today.” He said, “It is from Crown Prince Jaebeom of Goryeo.” Soyoung raised an eyebrow in confusion as she took the letter from her guard’s hands and slipped a crisp sheet of paper from the envelope. Judging from the seal, Hyojun was right; it was indeed her brother-in-law who had written the letter. But why was Prince Jaebeom suddenly sending her a letter? Soyoung had never made a habit of communicating with the Goryeo prince. 

 

As Soyoung’s eyes scanned the letter, she quickly realized what the letter was for. Crown Prince Jaebeom had some free time on his hands lately, and after discussing with his father the King, he had decided to take his wife and children and come to Yuan to visit his brother, Jinyoung. After all, the letter said, Jinyoung had been married out of the only home he knew for almost a year now but had yet the chance to go back and visit. It was only proper for Jaebeom to see if his brother was doing well. He would be setting out in one week. Soyoung’s brow furrowed as she read over the letter. The contents seemed innocent enough, but the timing was odd. As far as she knew, there were no holidays coming up in either Yuan or Goryeo, nor were there any particular marital milestones coming up that would require a member of the husband’s family to come visit. Why would the prince come visit now, as opposed to earlier? It didn’t make sense.

 

Unless...someone had alerted Goryeo that something had happened between Soyoung and Jinyoung that warranted sending the Crown Prince himself to come and see what was going on.

 

Soyoung felt a lump rise in as that possibility came to mind. It had taken her so much thinking, consideration, and courage before she had hardened her heart and decided to send Jinyoung away. It had taken all of her strength that day on the lookout point to now run down and call her husband back. Was she just supposed to call him back now, a mere five months afterwards? Sighing deeply, Soyoung folded the letter and slipped it under her pile of petitions.

 

“I understand.” She said, “You can go now, Hyojun.” 

 

“Your Majesty, you don’t have orders for me after reading the letter?” Hyojun asked, looking confused. Soyoung looked up at him coolly.

 

“Should I?” She asked, “Hyojun, did you read this letter?” Hyojun gulped and shook his head quickly.

 

“No, of course not.” He replied, and hurried out of the library before Soyoung could say anything else. Soyoung watched him go carefully, her lips pursed slightly. Hyojun had kept to his place ever since Jinyoung had left, his actions betraying no hint of serving another master besides herself. At the same time, Soyoung knew better than to let her guard down so easily. Before she knew for sure, she would still have to be careful around Hyojun.

 

Soyoung’s gaze slowly wandered back to the letter that was slipped under her petitions, then sighed and picked up an ink pen and paper. A few minutes later, she walked over to the open window in her library, lifted two fingers to her lips, and let out a high pitched whistle. A few moments later, a white messenger pigeon arrived on her window sill, fluffing its wings for a few seconds before settling onto the wooden frame. Soyoung lightly patted the bird on its back before rolling up the paper she had written on and slipping it into the little carrier tied to the pigeon’s leg. Soyoung hesitated slightly as she picked up the bird in her hands, hesitation squeezing her heart as she wondered whether or not she was making the right decision. Then she sighed, shook her head, and tossed the pigeon lightly into the air, where it took flight immediately and soon disappeared into the distance. 

 

Soyoung sighed softly as she watched the bird go. Then, she closed the window and ran a hand lightly over her swollen stomach, smiling faintly as the baby kicked in response to her touch.

 

“I hope I’m making the right decision.” She mused softly. Soyoung felt another nudge against her hand as she spoke, as if the child was affirming her decision. Soyoung chuckled softly and patted her belly gently before returning to her seat.

 

I wonder...Jinyoung, how would you react if you knew I was carrying your child?

____________________________________________________________________________

One week later

 

Jinyoung was reading in his room one sunny morning on a rare day off from working when he heard a light thunk by his window, followed by the sound of a pigeon’s coo. Turning in confusion, Jinyoung spotted a white messenger pigeon perched on the window sill. 

 

Who could be sending me a letter now?

 

Confused as he was, Jinyoung pulled the little strip of paper from the carrier on the bird’s leg, and his heart almost stopped as he saw the seal stamped on the outside of the letter.

 

Soyoung’s personal seal.

 

His heart suddenly pounding nervously, Jinyoung’s fingers shook as he unraveled the strip of paper. There wasn’t much on the paper, which was empty save for two characters written in elegant script, but the words and the meaning they held were more than enough to make Jinyoung’s heart leap into his throat.

 

“Come back.”