“Son Seungwan! Wake up! You're late”

“Okay, mom…”

Ugh, I don't wanna get up. It's rainy and... Oh crap! It's almost 8. Aw man, I don't have time to make my bed. I'll have to skip breakfast too. I can't believe this is happening on only my third day in my new school. Just great.

Damn! I have to sneak in. I hope the teacher won't notice.

“Sir! Son Seungwan is late.”

Ah, this guy really! He used to be in my class in middle school and he’s just as annoying as he was back then. Who would've thought we'd be in the same class again in a different school? I got caught because of him.

“Seungwan go stand outside and hold your bag above your head.”

Already punished on my third day. Things are going really, really well. Gosh, this is embarrassing.

It's been 5 minutes and my arms hurt. I'll rest for a bit and…

“Ohmygod!”

“Seungwan-ah! What are you doing here?”

“B-baechu?”

She's skipping towards me. Yesterday wasn't a dream? Or am I still dreaming?

“You're not dreaming.”

“Are you reading my mind too? Stop it!”

“Haha! Nope. It's written all over your face. I'm real. A real ghost. You're just too much of a skeptic that's why you refuse to accept that I’m real.”

Inhale… Exhale… Alright. I'll accept that she’s real. But- whoa, the teacher's here.

“Seungwan. You’re so loud. Who were you talking to?”

“N-no one. I was… talking to myself.”

“Have you lost your mind? Raise your arms higher.”

“Y-yes sir.”

The teacher went back inside the classroom and slid the door shut. Baechu’s just there laughing at me. Nobody else but me can see or hear her, huh. She's literally rolling on the floor laughing. All I can do is give her a weird look. I can’t even touch her.

“Why are you a ghost?”

“Eh? I don't know. I died?”

“Umm… No offense but shouldn't you pass over? You know, to the other side?”

“I don't exactly know how to do that.”

“I see. Hey, I just noticed this but you're wearing a different uniform. It feels like I've seen it before though.”

“You might have seen it in the old pictures on the halls. It's the old uniform. I must have already died for a very long time.”

“Maybe if we find out about you, you'll be able to get to the other side?”

“We? Really? You'll help me?”

“W-”

Did I say “we”? This is a huge mistake. This isn't it… but I feel bad for her. Seeing her smile so brightly while asking if I'd really help her. Alright. Okay, I'll help her, but I wouldn't dedicate myself to this. I'm a student after all. I need to focus on my grades for my future.

“So… how long have you been a ghost in this school?”

“I'm not sure. My memory keeps disappearing. So, I thought that maybe I should leave myself a message so every time I lose my memory again, I know what happened. With that, I kept track of how many times I lost my memory.”

“That’s pretty smart. So how many times did it happen? According to your record?”

“Twelve”

“It's been that long?”

“Or even longer. I collected some stuff that I thought would help me remember.”

“Show them to me later after class.”

“Son Seungwan! Stop talking to yourself.”

Why does the teacher have his eyes on me? Maybe because I'm a transferee. Geez.

It’s lunchtime and I’m eating alone. Well, not exactly alone. Baechu has been following me around. I didn’t make any friends yet except for this ghost. This is a weird experience for me. This would be a weird experience for anyone, honestly.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah...” I said under my breath

I can’t talk to her normally. People would think that I lost my mind just like our teacher did earlier. She’s just there sitting across the table watching me eat. It’s bothering me a little that she’s smiling like that with her bright eyes fixed on me.

“Can’t ghosts eat? Don’t you get hungry?”

“No but I heard it is possible if somebody gives food offerings.”

If that’s the case, I’m assuming she hasn’t tried any food for more than twelve years. That’s probably the saddest part of being a ghost. Well… apart from being a loner and being invisible or inaudible.

“Gotta go back to class now. See you in the library after class.”

She smiled at me again.

It’s a huge relief that Baechu doesn’t follow me all the time. She roams around the school grounds when I’m in class but I’m kinda worried. I’m here stuck in this history class not knowing what she’s up to out there. Time really goes so slow when you’re being held hostage to a mind-numbing class with a dull teacher. Come on, at least be a little lively.

Oh! There goes the school bell. Class dismissed! I can meet her now. Why am I so excited to see her again?

“Seungwan-ah!”

Ah, that's her. I was heading to the library too. Was she waiting for me? I guess she couldn't wait to see me too. She's all smiles skipping towards me again. She’s like a bunny. I feel really sorry for her though. She must have been really lonely but now that I, who can see and hear her, came to this school and met her, she must be very happy.

“I'll show you the stuff. It's in the old music room. It's just a storage room now. It's cool that I always manage to find it even after I forget everything.”

She seems so excited to show me her stuff. I guess she’s really glad that I want to help her cross over.

The dust is no joke, but all the instruments are still there under the covers. I picked up the guitar and it seems to be in fine condition. It just needs a little tuning. It’s been a while since the last time I played the guitar. Should I give it a try?

“Can you play?”

“A little. Wanna hear?”

She eagerly nodded with that signature crooked smile on her face. The signature smile that makes me— wait! What am I thinking?

“I haven't touched a guitar for a long time so it might not be very good, but I'll try.”

My fingertips are a bit too soft and hurts a little bit when I press on the steel strings but she's looking at me so intently, anticipating. Her gaze just makes me…

I positioned my hand on the neck of the guitar and plucked the strings to play one of my favorite songs. Ah, this makes me want to sing.

G over B, C9, Dsus4, E minor… and-

♪ While I was waiting for you,

I’ve been thinking that you’re hurt after you left me.
So you’re crying on the way back to me.
When I see you I suddenly thought
That on a clear day you will come back to me just like when you left me.

You in front of me.

Can’t I see you again?
I’m not in your eyes.
Your familiar gestures and your smile

Only makes me cry

You’ll come back to me again.

If your heart calls me again, don’t hesitate to come back.

In front of you

Just as before

I’ll hold you ♪

Ah… it’s been a while since I— wait. Why is she crying?

“Baechu, why are you crying? Don’t cry.”

“The song was heartbreaking, and your voice is so beautiful that it touched my heart.”

“Aww... Don’t be sad, please. Come on, show me your stuff.”

I guess that did the trick. She wiped her tears and instantly, she’s back to her ecstatic self again ruffling through the things in this very dusty room.

“Hey, no offense but aren’t you supposed to pass through things? You know...”

“Ah... I can touch things if I try hard enough. I can touch you if you want.”

“N-no thanks.”

“Wow, now I'm offended.”

“Ah! No, that’s- that's not what I meant. I-”

“Hahaha! I get you. I was just teasing you.”

Damn. What if I get cursed for the rest of my life for offending a ghost? Wait. I thought I didn't believe in these kinds of things. I… I don’t know myself anymore. I guess that kinda changed since I met her.

“Seungwan-ah! Right here.”

Oh, she made tiny engravings on the corner of the table. “If you’re a ghost and you don’t remember anything, add 1 . Your memory has been wiped this number of times: 正正丅”.

“Yearbooks? 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003. Did you find yourself in any of these?”

“No… “

“Aren’t there copies from earlier years?”

“I haven’t found any but I heard that there was a fire a long time ago.”

“Wait… you might have died in the fire.”

“That’s a possibility… I’ve been thinking that if I find out who I am and how I died, I might be able to pass over.”

“I’ll try to learn more about it. I’ll help you pass over, Baechu.”

“You don’t have to do so much for me, Seungwan, but I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

To be honest, she’s grown on me. I only met her yesterday but now, I sincerely want to help her cross over. She has suffered for too long. She has been waiting for someone who can help her... that someone is probably me. Well, where’s my “I wouldn't dedicate myself to this”? There, in the gutter.

The song is entitled Waiting by Panic | This is This is IU's cover | This is GFRIEND Yuju's cover. Give it a listen!