Jessica finally returned to work after a few days. She buried herself with work and she avoided Bernice by all means.

But what was to come had to come. Bernice knocked at her door and entered her office. “We need to talk, Jessica.”

“We have nothing to talk about. Please go out.”

“Yes, we do. I’m not pregnant.”

“Good. Please go out.”

“I was just your substitute.”

“That’s enough. GO OUT!” Jessica raised her voice for the first time in the office. Everyone in the office looked into her office.

Bernice walked out of her room and left the office. Their colleagues started whispering among themselves.

Gallen told the people to go back to their work. He then closed Jessica’s door and sat himself across her office desk. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay.” she finally admitted. “Each time I look at the baby pictures, I’m reminded of the child that he is having with someone else.”

“Louis is having an affair?” he asked in disbelief.

She just nodded. He could see her suffering. He reached out for her hands but she pulled away.

“No, Gallen.”

“Should I take you out of this project then?”

“No, I can get over this.”

---

As she walked out of the office building, she saw Louis in his convertible. There was a bouquet of white lilies on the dashboard. She quickly ran back into the building and got in the elevator.

“Are you okay, Jessica?” Gallen asked as he saw her in the elevator.

“Can you drive me to my brother’s place?” she asked.

“Sure.”

Gallen’s car came out from the underground car park and from the side of the building. She had successfully avoided Louis.

During their ride to Bobby’s place, Gallen reminisced the times when he used to send her home after work. She had not known Louis then. He regretted why he had not courted her. Perhaps if he did, then she would not have been hurt by Louis.

Jessica was thinking of Louis during the ride. Yes, she was still angry with him but part of her missed him. She also wondered how long he would remain waiting for her. It was getting windy and cold.

---

*Three weeks after Jessica moved to Bobby’s place*

As usual, Gallen had driven her home that evening. She had not seen Louis waiting for her for the past few days.

Bobby was still at work and Raymond was not in sight when she returned home. She walked into the room. As she switched on the lights, she saw him in the room. She knew then that Raymond must have let him in.

“Please give me a chance to explain, Jessica.” Louis said forlornly to her.

“GET OUT!” she shouted at him.

He held onto her left wrist gently and examined the wound. It had healed but there was a scar.

She jerked her hand from his hold. “GET OUT!” she shouted at him again.

He ignored her shouting. He wrapped his arms around her. She struggled from his embrace but he held her tighter, leaving no space between them. She used her hands to push him away but he held onto to her. She started hitting him with her fists and she started to cry. Her little fists made little impact to him as they hit out on his well-muscled chest, but his heart ached at her cries. He knew she was still hurting.

She finally stopped hitting him. She was sobbing onto his chest.

“I was so scared of losing you and I was feeling so lonely when I committed the mistake. This was the gravest mistake that I have made in my whole life. I was tipsy and I saw in her the fear and uncertainty I used to see in you and I missed that side of you. That side of you makes me want to protect you, to safeguard you. You’re so confident at work. I was afraid of losing you to your work. I’m really sorry.” he explained to her softly, without loosening his hold.

She finally looked up at him.

“I did it only once with her.” he said softly to her.

“It doesn’t matter whether it had happened only once. It is still betrayal. It does not make it any less painful.” she said to him.

“I know, because it does not make me less guilty either. I will not see her again. I promise.”

“Don’t make me lose this last bit of respect I have for you, Louis. She is pregnant with your child and you are going to break off with her.”

“No, she is not pregnant.”

“If she is, will you still be here?”

“Yes, I will. I don’t know how I would handle the situation with her, but I’m certain I will be here. Please forgive me, Jessica.”

“Would you forgive me if the table is turned?”

He could not give her an immediate answer.

“If you no longer love me, why don’t you just divorce me? It is much easier to deal with a divorce than a betrayal.” she continued.

“I love you, Jessica. I don’t want a divorce. Please give me one more chance, Jessica.” he pleaded with her.

“Marriage is about trust, understanding and commitment. If I can’t trust you anymore, how can we remain married?”

He kneeled down before her and pleaded desperately with her, “I know I am the one who breaks the rule. Only you can grant me entry into our marriage again. Please give me one more chance to rebuild that trust with you, Jessica.”

She was touched by his honesty and remorsefulness but she could not let go of her pain. “I can’t. I can’t afford to be hurt by the same man twice. Please go now. I don’t want to see Bobby fighting with you again. He will be back soon.”

Louis got up reluctantly and he tried to reach for Jessica again. “Just go.” she said while moving away from him.

“I’ll wait for your forgiveness.” he said and left the place.

---

Jessica was searching for something in her room.

“This?” Raymond asked while holding her wedding band in front of her.

She took the ring from him. “You let him in tonight, right?” she asked him.

“You still love him. What’s the difference between forgiving him today and another day?” he said to her, ignoring her question, and walked out of her room. She pondered at his words.

 

(23.07.2007)