“This is for you, Gallen. Thanks for taking over the project from me.”

“No problem. It’s my project too. Look like someone really enjoyed her second honeymoon.” Gallen said with a wink as he received the beautifully-wrapped gift from Jessica, who was looking fresh and radiate from her break.

“We did have a good time.”

“Hence, I should be hearing some good news from you soon. But, your good news will be bad news to me.” he said with a chuckle.

“Stop teasing me, Gallen. I’m still on the company’s payroll. So, what project are you assigning to me? Remember no more global project.” she said while wagging a finger at him playfully.

“Something relevant to you.” he said and passed a file to her.

She opened the file and noted that it was a baby-products advertisement project. She shook her head and said, “Thanks for the tips then.”

Bernice entered Gallen’s office then. “This is the file that you wanted.” she handed the file over to him. She turned to Jessica and gave her a hug, “I’m so glad you are back.”

“He must have been a slave driver, poor you. Come and see what I've gotten for you.” Jessica held Bernice’s hand and led her to her office, which was next door. “I can’t wait to show you the photos too. The lavender fields were so beautiful and they smelt so heavenly and relaxing.” Jessica said excitedly to Bernice.

Jessica picked up a paper bag from under her table and passed it Bernice, “See if you like it.”

Bernice opened the beautifully wrapped present and exclaimed, “This is lovely! I don’t like it, I love it!” She turned her new pink bag at all angles to admire it.

“I just know it! We have the same taste.” Jessica said gleefully and showed Bernice her own bag, which was identical to hers, except that it is white.

Jessica then whipped out her private stash of goodies – chocolates and sweet pastries from her holiday. “Let’s share these while I show you the photos.” Both ladies happily dug into the goodies and admired the sceneries of Hokkaido.

If Bernice was uncomfortable with Jessica and Louis photos, she did not show it. She had used the past three weeks to get over that incident. She was happy enough to have Jessica as a friend.

Bernice and Louis even managed to exchange pleasantries when he picked Jessica from work that evening.

---

*Two months after their fifth anniversary*

Things could not have been better for Jessica during these two months. Louis was really attentive to her. It was as if their relationship had returned to the time where they had first started. He had been surprising her with little gifts and she also returned the favours. She had a good holiday and her new project was interesting and not as taxing as the earlier one. She was on cloud nine almost every day. The only thing which could complete this picture of perfect bliss was their baby. She beamed brightly as she went through the stack of baby photos in front of her.

She took a break from her work and went to the ladies. She heard someone crying in one of the cubicles. She went over and locked the main door of the ladies. She waited for a while before she knocked at the cubicle door and asked, “This is Jessica. Are you inside, Bernice?” She suspected it was Bernice as she knew that the latter had a habit of hiding in the toilet to cry whenever she was unhappy.

The person in the cubicle did not answer her.

“There is nothing that we cannot settle. Tell me about it and we will resolve it together.” Jessica said gently to the person inside.

Bernice struggled with herself. Jessica was the last person who she wanted to talk about this, but she was also her closest friend and the only person she could trust. She knew that Jessica would never judge her. She finally opened the cubicle door and came face-to-face with a concerned Jessica. Jessica immediately hugged her tightly and she cried even harder.

“Can you tell me what has caused you to be so distressed?” Jessica asked gently when Bernice’s crying had slowed down.

“I’m scared.” Bernice replied nervously.

“What are you scared of?”

“I might be pregnant. I missed my periods for two months.”

“I didn’t know you have a boyfriend, Bernice. Have you told him about it?”

“No, it was a one-night stand. I can’t tell him.”

“So, this is not just someone who picked you up at the club. You know him and you can contact him, right?”

“Yes, but I can’t tell him.”

“Why?”

“He is a married man.”

“But he is still the father of your child. He should know.”

“I’m not ready to be a single mother, Jessica.”

“Have you confirmed it with the doctor?”

“No, I have not.”

“Why don’t you get it confirmed first before we decide what to do next?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want me to go with you to the doctor?”

“No, I think I can handle this myself. Thanks for being so level-headed.”

“Don’t be silly. You are like my little sister. Come to me if you need anything. Don’t cry alone.” Jessica comforted Bernice and gave her another tight hug.

Bernice was so ashamed of herself. She had confided in and received comfort from the person who would be hurt most if she was really pregnant. She wished she could turn to someone else but her family and friends were not with her.

---

Louis picked Jessica up from work that evening and noticed that she was upset about something, “What’s wrong, honey? You seem upset.”

Jessica was not someone who rattled office gossip to her husband, but it was really eating her up.

“It is about Bernice. She might be pregnant and she is worried. That man is a married man. He is a real bastard. Why fool around when you are married? Bernice is such a nice girl. She is not prepared to be a single mother, and you know how much our society is prejudiced against single mothers.” Jessica let everything out in one shot.

“Are you okay, dear? Were you listening?” she asked when he remained quiet. Louis was in shock. That’s the last thing he wanted to happen.

“Where is she?” he finally asked.

“She has taken the remaining day off to see the doctor to confirm if she is pregnant. It hurts me to see her in such distress.”

He put his arm around her and pulled her close to him when they stopped at the next traffic lights.

---

Louis was unsettled for the whole evening. He could not eat his dinner. He could not sit down for long. He finally decided to call Bernice. While Jessica was washing the dishes, he sneaked into the balcony to make the call.

Jessica noticed that Louis was not his usual self. He had been spacing out during their conversation. He had been pacing around in the house. She found him at the balcony after she finished the dishes. As she approached him, she saw him on the phone with someone.

“Are you pregnant?” She heard him asked. You can call it the women’s instinct. She immediately guessed that he was speaking to Bernice.

“Please don’t ever let her know about us.” She deduced from his statement that he was the father of Bernice’s baby.

Jessica was never stupid. She just chose to believe in Louis. She had given him her unconditional trust but his conversation had destroyed whatever faith she had in him. The pieces fitted together in her mind and she had a pretty good idea what had happened. Part of her still wanted to trust him so she decided to confirm her suspicion.

Louis ended the call and he turned around. He was startled to see Jessica standing behind him. Something in her expression scared him. He knew she had heard his conversation. “Jessica, I ...”

“Just answer my questions honestly.” she cut him off and stressed on the word “honestly”.

“Was that Bernice?” she immediately started with her first question.

“Yes.” Both hearts sunk at the same time.

“Did you do it with her?” she asked him. He felt guilty and fearful. He knew his answer could destroy whatever they had.

“Did you do it with her?” she asked again. He could not decipher what her emotion was at this moment. She seemed too calm to be true.

Out of his mouth came the inevitable and undeniable “Yes.”

Jessica held back her anger and tears. She continued to question him, “When did it start?”

“It’s not like what you think, Jessica” he tried to explain.

“When did it start?” she questioned him again.

“Two months ago.” he admitted despairingly. Jessica’s heart sunk further.

“On our anniversary?” she asked softly. Her tears started rolling down.

Louis moved towards Jessica, hoping to hold her. He knew that she was hurt. He was awfully regretful that he was one who hurt her.

“Answer me!” she demanded in a choking voice and she looked at him through the tears in her eyes.

“Yes.” he confessed. He could not lie to her.

That was all Jessica could take. She spun around and ran into their bedroom. She locked the door.

“Jessica! Please open the door. Let me explain. Please.” Louis was pounding at the door.

Jessica covered her ears. She was angry and heartbroken.

“Why is this happening to me?”
“Why did they betray me?”
“Why did Louis lie to me?”
She asked herself these questions repeatedly.

“I love you, Jessica. Please listen to me.” he called out to her.

“STOP TELLING ME THAT YOU LOVE ME! I HATE YOU! GO AWAY!” she shouted back at him.

“How can you be in love with me when you are having a child with someone else?”
“What were you thinking when you were doing it with her? Me?”
Her thoughts were running wild.

A distant and horrible memory crept in. It was a memory which she had buried safely with Louis’ promise of faithfulness for her. The seal was broken now.

Years ago, she had walked in on her ex-boyfriend in the act with another girl. That incident was a blow to her self-esteem and she had since lost faith in men until Louis appeared before her, until he made that promise to her. He was the one who helped her rebuild that trust and faith and he was also the one who destroyed them. “Why did you open me up just to hurt me?” she asked silently with tears streaming down her face.

She was not dealing with just a cheating boyfriend now. He was her husband, someone who had vowed to faithful to her. At least she did not know that girl then, but Bernice was her good friend. She trusted and loved them. She was dealing with a double-blow.

The image of her ex-boyfriend on top of the girl turned into Louis and Bernice in her mind. She was disgusted by it. “ARGH!!!” she yelled at the top of her voice. She grabbed the first thing she saw on the dressing table and hurled it towards to their wedding portrait. It was a bottle of perfume. The two pieces of glass collided and they broken into pieces with a loud bang.

His heart stopped at the loud sound. “JESSICA! What are you doing?” he cried out to her and kneeled at the door. He never felt this helpless before and his tears covered his face. “Please open the door, Jessica. Please don’t hurt yourself. You can punish me. You can hit me. You can yell at me. But, please don’t hurt yourself.” he pleaded with her.

The loud noise stunned her as well. She heard his pleas. She softened for a moment. She looked at the pieces of the broken glass and the perfume destroying their wedding portrait. She dropped herself onto the floor and her tears fell onto the broken glass. She took a piece of broken glass with her right hand and placed it against her left wrist. She pressed it against her wrist and a cut was made. She watched as blood trickled from her wound. She wished she could feel the pain but at this moment she could not feel any pain. She was so numb. She just wanted to hurt herself and him. This was her revenge to him.

He suddenly remembered that there was a spare key to their bedroom’s door lock in the study. He quickly fetched the key and opened the door.

He stared in shock at the patch of blood where her left hand was. He rushed over to her and lifted her wrist. She flinched at his touch. Another bolt of emotions ran through her body. “Don’t touch me with your filthy hands!” She got up, took her purse and ran out of the house.

 

(21.06.2007))