CAN YOU BELIEVE WENDY LOGGED-IN IN LYSN JUST TO COMMENT ON ONE POST THAT SHE'S LISTENING TO THE SONG "IRENE" WHICH REMINDED HER OF IRENE AND LEFT JUST LIKE THAT??????????? WHIPPED CULTURE????????? WENRENE IS A LIVING MUTUAL PINING FIC I CAN'T-

Disclaimer: This chapter will be a serious one in Son Seungwan's full POV. I figured she will need a little bit of push to realize the extent of her feelings. [Joohyun is whipped, but Seungwan is an anxious idiot.]
This chapter is quite a difficult one to write, it is written with a goal to capture the emotions I would like to convey, I hope it turned out decent WHEW.

As always, feel free to leave comments for your feedback! Reading and answering them is such a bliss... I am wholeheartedly thankful for all the support I received! Thank you so much and I love you! 💖

P.S. The big fluff will be in the next chapter, and also LISTEN TO IRENE BY JIMMY BROWN

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Son Seungwan sighed audibly. All energy suppressed is now directed to the sound of the ticking clock as she attempts to revamp her inner peace, especially in her current predicament.

Sitting in the middle of the couch past midnight, Seungwan is having the greatest emotional turmoil of her life. A folded paper was placed beside her well-lit cellphone. The message application was opened idly with an unregistered number on the recipient field.

Seungwan sighed once again with a massive head scratch as an accompaniment.

Only one question kept on resurfacing in Seungwan’s annoying thoughts.

Should she text Bae Joohyun?

Even without her around she's still frustrating as ever.

"Wannie?" Kang Seulgi in her favorite brown bear pajamas slowly went out of their room with a messy bun and a facial mask. "You're okay over there?"

"Seul…" At the sight of her favorite friend, her hopelessness had been amplified by ten-fold. "Texting should just be easy, right?"

"I… guess so?" Seulgi nodded with a huge confusion in her face. "I mean, we text all the time…"

"I know, right?!" Seungwan can’t help but grunt. "I text you all the time, I text my parents and Sis all the time, I text my classmates and clients all the time, but why…" Seungwan cupped her face frustratingly. "Why can't I send a single text… to her?"

After their date, Bae Joohyun and she exchanged a quick set of goodbyes before she rushed into her night classes. She thought the whole date ended well and… nice. Her heart felt an unfamiliar touch of fondness the longer they open their thoughts to one another and those coincidental eye contacts that kept on leaving her breathless. The date ended well, she thought. But the back of her mind told her otherwise.

An inner, indescribable desire to contact Joohyun left her uncomfortably bothered the whole night class, it kept on bugging her to aggressively grab her phone and text her-- "Did you get home safely?" or "Did you have your dinner?" or "Are you studying?" or "Did you have fun in our date earlier?" But she cannot, until she went home to their dormitory, until she had her dinner, until she laid down to sleep, but she can't sleep, and it makes Seungwan so extremely frustrated.

She can hear a pair of footsteps walking into her direction. She looked up and saw Seulgi looking at her phone and the small paper beside it.

"Hmmm, this is unusual. This is Bae Joohyun's number, isn't it?"

"Mmm."

"Do you want to text her?"

"Mmm."

“But you can’t, right?”

“Mmm.”

"Are you starting to have feelings for her?"

"Mmm- wait, what!?"

"Tsk. I almost got you."

"Kang Seulgi, I'm warning you." Seungwan gritted her teeth to her laughing best friend. She loves her, but she's also an  sometimes.

Seulgi settled beside her on the couch as soon as she calmed down and grabbed her hand. "Tell me about it. The date went well, right? Don't even try to lie."

"Just fine."

"Ms. Wendy Son." Seulgi hissed filled with threat.

"Okay! Fine, fine.” She knew at that point she can never lie to her best friend. “It was good. More than good, actually." Seungwan fidgeted. She is acting like a shy high school girl thinking about her first crush, and she hated that unnecessary giddy feeling. "It… felt really good."

Seulgi solemnly nodded with a sweet smile silently growing in her face. She took Seungwan's phone and looked at it carefully.

"And you want to keep in touch with her, but you don't know how?"

"Yeah… Everything's new, you know? If I suddenly texted her out of the blue just to ask like, if she went home well or something, it will feel like I'm crossing boundaries."

Seungwan sighed heavily.

"I… we established first that we will be friends. It was my decision, and she agreed to it which I’m truly thankful for, but it’s weird that I’m struggling about it. Is there a right order for it? Do I have the right to text her now because she's my friend? I'm so lost, Seul. This friendship thing we established is so complicated."

"Hmmm..."

The lack of response made Seungwan turn around dubiously. "Seul?"

"Okay, it’s done!" Seulgi happily showed Seungwan's phone to her.

Seungwan's eyes violently widened as if she saw a horribly cursed 1000-year-old ghost.

To: 00-XXXXX-1234

Message:

    I had fun with our date earlier. I hope you went home safely tonight. Good night :)

"Kang Seulgi… You didn't..."

"To answer your question earlier, no. You're not crossing some boundaries here, Wannie. Don’t stress yourself and just let yourself feel it. I promise it will result to something much more beautiful than what you guys have right now." Seulgi sweetly pinched her cheeks. "I have planted the seeds. Let it grow, okay? Love you." Seulgi quickly posed for a wink before sprinting into their room-soon-to-be battlefield.

Son Seungwan wants to retract her statement earlier.

She loves Seulgi a lot, but she’s a certified Capital A-.

"I'm going to kill you, Kang Seulgi!!!"

.

It felt like things became more complicated when Seulgi sent that accursed text message to Bae Joohyun.

Seungwan was so anxious her brain didn’t let her sleep for even a second. Her hand was so desperately clutched into her phone the whole night like it was her final salvation from the emotional mess she recklessly dived into. She can’t believe a single text will make her tremendously perplexed like this, but what made her feel horrible was what happened afterwards.

She did not receive a single text back from Bae Joohyun.

Maybe Joohyun gave her a wrong number from the start. Maybe texting her was a wrong idea, after all.

Maybe Joohyun no longer wants to be involved with her, and it’s slowly crushing her heart into pieces.

A dreadful morning passed and Seungwan impassively dragged herself to the Campus Library for her 3-day weekly duty. Her journey to the Humanities section was a grand self-battle of not glancing at her phone to look at her recent messages. Dammit. She’s getting irritated the more she thought about the text; the more she thought about Bae Joohyun.

An appalling sigh escaped her lips as she settled in her desk. It will pass by. Her yearning to look at her phone will pass by. Even her disappointment will pass by.

I mean, it always happens. It was not surprising. People come and go, and of course she should have anticipated that Joohyun was not an exception. She should have anticipated that Joohyun will soon realize that she was not enough for her.

If only she had her heart be guarded more.

She could have stopped herself and her growing attraction to Bae Joohyun.

Maybe it’s just a bit sad that she thought they were heading into something, and maybe it’s just a bit sad that she thought she meant much more to Joohyun.

Oh no. Her eyes were starting to sting. Damn it. She hated this feeling.

She was almost at her limit before she charges at the nearest comfort room to calm down herself and her forming tears when a long-haired woman’s shadow hovered into the Library Desk and placed an unbelievably thick book gently in front of her.

And suddenly, Son Seungwan realized that she finally breathed.

"…Seriously?"

Bae Joohyun smirked at her. Being breathtaking should be a grave crime in this country.

"I'd like to borrow a book."

Seungwan pathetically laughed at herself. Only one sentence from the woman in front of her was enough to be relieved of the chain of her anxieties and instantly turn her mood upside down. Her heart was shaking so badly, but also in a delightful way.

Good heavens. She slowly realized.

She’s starting to like Bae Joohyun.

"If my memory serves me right, didn't you just borrow a book from the other day…?"

"A curious mind will never be contented in possessing only a single book."

Seungwan narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Do you even read the books you're borrowing…?"

"I will read them soon." Joohyun leaned in to whisper. "Talking to you is my bigger priority."

This woman is so stressful as ever.

"Wow. What happened to your 'curious mind' just now?"

"What are you talking about? I'm still curious. But to be honest, it's mostly about you."

"You sneaky little-" Seungwan exhaled furiously to regain her last remaining sanity and confusion.

"My book is waiting." Joohyun teased. So beautiful and so irritating. Seungwan grabbed the book from Joohyun's hand without breaking their eye contact filled with indescribable tension. One day Seungwan will definitely wipe that smirk off from that beautiful face with her-

With her… what?

A cold sweat rolled down from her temple.  Her mind almost travelled into a dangerous territory she never or maybe… just slightly… dreamt to cross.

After encoding the book with expertise, she handed the book to Joohyun hastily. "You know the rules by now. One week."

The raven-haired woman retrieved the book from her with a tint of familiarity. "I know, but you can remind me again tomorrow."

"A-are you serious? You’ll borrow another one tomorrow?!"

"I'm always serious. I’ll borrow here as much as I can to see you." Before Seungwan could react, Joohyun turned her head to look at Seungwan and inquired. "By the way, let’s get back to the topic. Are you free after your night classes?"

.

7:55 p.m.

Both of them agreed to meet in front of Seungwan’s course building right after her dismissal since it was established that her class ends much later than Joohyun. She looked at her phone. Still no message from her, much to her disappointment. With a huge downcast sigh, she packed her things and quickly paced to the entrance along with her anticipating heart.

Multiple whispers can be heard all around her as she was walking along the hallway. Little did she know that a large mob of crowd was forming around the entrance. She almost had no time to dwell in her own curiosity since she needs to meet her special person soon, but a dialogue stopped her in her tracks.

“Hey… Isn’t that…?”

“Woah, what’s the goddess doing here?”

...The goddess?

Seungwan instantly bolted within the forming crowd until she saw Bae Joohyun from a few distance away, resting her body in a nearby tree without caring for the building hostility surrounding her.

At that moment, a strained realization hit her hard. Bae Joohyun was the reigning goddess of this academy and Seungwan was just... there, perfectly blending with a cluster of nobodies.

Seungwan hastily shook her head. She can't let doubt overpower her all the time. Just when she’s about to march forward to Joohyun, a heavy hand grabbed her arm to catch her attention.

“Hey, Wan.” Kim Jong-in, her workmate and course mate greeted her. “What are you doing? Don’t rush forward. Irene Bae’s here.”

“Hey, Jong-in.” Seungwan nervously nodded. “…Yeah, I know.” Of course, she knew. She’s here to meet her, after all.

“Be careful in walking forward. She’s already been the talk of the town.”

“What do you mean?”

“There are several rumors around her. She asked a woman out a few days ago.”

Seungwan’s stomach churned violently. So, her presence is starting to drag Joohyun down.

“I know.”

“I mean, they didn’t say who it was,” Jong-in shrugged. “But be careful, nonetheless. If you move near her now, you’ll be involved with her in some ways. She’ll crush you, just like what happened to me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

She damn knew.

Bae Joohyun was never supposed to be involved with her.

She was not authorized to cross paths with someone of a high reputation which was greatly respected by everyone. She was a mere side character to walk beside someone as beautiful as the Bae Joohyun.

She looked at the woman from the distance.

But she was here.

She was ready to risk everything for Seungwan just by waiting for her visibly in front of the large crowd filled with judging opinions.

“I don’t care about other people. I wanted it to be you.”- Joohyun was sure with her despite all of the circumstances and consequences.

And hell, Seungwan wanted nothing more than to be sure with Bae Joohyun as well.

Let opinions be damned.

“I know, because I’m the person who Bae Joohyun had been asked out.” Seungwan sternly answered at a stupefied Jong-in. She removed the man’s hold on her and pushed her feet forward.

To Bae Joohyun.

Joohyun instantly smiled the moment she noticed Seungwan walking into her direction. That time, Seungwan felt a cryptic calmness spreading within her heart. Nothing matches the feeling of being proud of what she feels.

She held Joohyun’s wrist and nudged forward. Her ears were filled with intense chatters and jaw droppings, but she didn’t care less starting from that point. She maybe, slowly, probably wants to face the world with Joohyun.

“Let’s continue our talk somewhere.”

.

Seungwan didn’t let go of Joohyun’s wrist the whole walk from her building to the central park of their University. Joohyun didn’t complain about anything either. They just walked there, side by side, with a comfortable silence that enveloped their mystifying atmosphere.

It was Seungwan’s voice that broke the stillness. “You know, this place has always been my sanctuary.”

The brunette admired the view of swaying trees playing with the illumination of the streetlights. “…I can sing and play guitar openly here with a view that will make me feel at ease. It feels just so… natural. Don’t you think so?”

“It is.”

Seungwan turned around only to discover that Joohyun never took her eyes off her.

“I love the view.”

She almost got lost in her eyes the moment she stared back, and it took her a last ounce of force in her heart to break the eye contact.

“Joohyun, can I ask you a question?” Seungwan solemnly looked at her with an emotion she can’t describe. “During last Valentine’s day, why did you reject Jong-in?”

Joohyun wrinkled her brows as she looked down into the ground. For the first time, Joohyun looked like she was at loss of words. Seungwan noticed the tension growing in her body which she then tightly held her hand and smiled with an aim to express all of her growing feelings to the troubled woman.

Seungwan’s hand immediately caressed Joohyun’s heavy heart which seems to relax her successfully. She raised her head and looked at the same scenery Seungwan is currently looking.

“You know, all my life I always feel like I was drowning.” Joohyun slowly uttered. The brunette did not stop holding her hand which she took as a sign to continue. “I’m begging for my life within an imaginary sea, and that sea was like the attention and expectation of people who look up to me in some sort of a high pedestal. It was so suffocating. Every action I make will just pull me down further into this...” Joohyun motioned her free hand up-and-down. “…deep sea when all I want in my life was just to breathe.”

Seungwan lifted her eyes to look at Joohyun. “Everywhere I go, the sea just keeps on getting deeper. Some people come close to me to touch that nonexistent elevation everyone created with their superficial idea of me that I did not wish of.” She released a sigh to pull her back to herself. “I grew tired of it, and I… I just kept on swimming forward then for the air that I always crave for.” She looked at Seungwan. “That day, let's just say, I swam forward… If that makes sense.”

Joohyun raised head to face Seungwan.

“But on that day, surprisingly, I also breathed for the first time.”

The brunette stopped her hand movements to look at Joohyun properly.

“Since then, I learned how to breathe, and even up until now. With you, Son Seungwan.”

Joohyun’s words engulfed Seungwan with a warm force that flowed ceaselessly deep within her.

“Which is why I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I can maintain being only friends with you.” Joohyun exhaled heavily. “Seungwan, will you please let me fall for you?”

Seungwan’s heart violently pulsed so hard she wants to scream so loudly out of beyond belief.

Joohyun continued. “When you sent that text yesterday, I feel like I was going crazy. I wanted to tell you so many things, but I don’t know if I can-“ Joohyun was shaking under Seungwan’s hold. “I.. I don’t know the boundaries of being friends and I am not confident I can entirely control it anymore when I’m falling this hard for you.”

Seungwan smiled so wide at Joohyun’s revelation. So she’s not the only one having this anxiety. Joohyun is just like her. Both of them worrying at each other's opinion. Both of them are idiots.

“Why are you smiling like that? How many times should I have to tell you that I’m serious?” Joohyun was still so adorable even with a frown.

She wanted to keep Joohyun beside her always.

“Then, fall for me.”

“W-What..?”

Everything was still so vague and confusing. Right now, they are standing into a thin path of ice with their feelings leading them to an unknown. She will let her instincts take over the uncertainties of her heart as she decided, with Joohyun’s hand in hers.

“I’ll be there to catch you, so just keep on holding my hand.”

.

Seungwan plumped straightly into her bed after a long and tiresome day, physically and emotionally. She covered her eyes with her hand as she recalled every moment she had with Bae Joohyun.

It warms her heart, it warms her whole. A soft smile was formed when she realized how far her relationship had progressed with the raven-haired woman. Everything - her feelings specifically - is moving so fast in one direction causing her to be this frightened because it is something she totally had no control of, but she is starting to catch up with the flow.

Bzzzt.

Seungwan sighed as she lazily reached out her phone from her pocket. Fatigue was slowly invading her mind space. Maybe after looking at her phone she will go off to her much awaited sleep, and maybe... meet Joohyun in her dreams? She thought she would like that.

But her heart and mind suddenly froze as she opened her latest message notification.

The very first message she received from the main object of her newly discovered affection.

From: 00-XXXXX-1234

Message:

    I am in love with you.