CHAPTER ELEVEN JUNE 15, 2020   For the umpteenth time, Kallie turned in bed and stared into the darkness. Her insomnia had gotten much worse over the past few days, only mitigated by Seth’s comforting presence when she had stayed with him in San Francisco. But now that he was back home, Kallie found herself unable to sleep again. No matter how many sheep she counted, no matter how many slow breaths she took, sleep failed to grace her with its calming presence.   The Chinese-American girl could feel Rowan slightly stirring beside her from all of the tossing and turning. Deciding that at least one of them should get a good night’s rest, Kallie carefully slipped out of bed and padded out of the room with her phone in hand. Feeling a bit thirsty, she headed into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of water. The sun had yet to rise, so she flicked on one of the light switches and then blinked several times to adjust to the sudden flood of light.   After finding a mug decorated with foamy waves—Kallie smiled upon remembering when she and Seth had stayed up to design promposal posters for their friends during their senior year of high school, all of them ocean-themed due to their prom being held at the Aquarium of the Pacific—and filling it up halfway with cool water, the Chinese-American girl sat down at the kitchen table and began mindlessly scrolling through Facebook.   Her newsfeed was almost exclusively filled with posts from groups like Subtle Asian Traits, Subtle Asian Dating, and Subtle Anime Memes. Whenever Kallie found something that made her laugh or was related to any of the inside jokes that she had with Seth, she tagged her best friend in the comments section. There was an abundance of posts that Kallie hadn’t seen yet due to a combination of being too busy during the road trip to check the social networking site and the massive influx of submitted posts that the groups under the Subtle Asian banner received every day.   After she tagged Seth in a meme in the Subtle Asian Dating group about running ten stop signs in a row despite seeing the red flags, Kallie set her phone down on the table so that she could stretch her arms. However, as soon as the Chinese-American girl looked up, Kallie froze when she found herself making direct eye contact with Karter Tsui. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen and wearing a solemn expression as he stared back at her.   The silence stretched and stretched, neither of them moving from their spot.   Despite just recently finishing her cup of water, Kallie’s throat felt extremely dry again and she was itching to stand up so that she could refill the mug. But Karter’s deep gaze kept her glued to her seat, and grew drier and drier by the second.   And then, before she knew it…   “Hey.”   That one word sounded…strange to her for some reason.   “Can I sit here with you?”   Kallie barely registered the question, still dwelling on the familiar yet foreign sound of Karter’s voice, before clumsily answering as she began to stand up, “Oh, um, I couldn’t sleep earlier, but I should probably go back to bed…”   “Wait, Kallie.”   And just like that, she stopped mid-way before slowly sinking back down into the chair. “What, Karter?”   Biting his lower lip, he gradually approached the table. “Is it okay if we talk for a bit right now while everyone else is still asleep? We’ve… We’ve got a lot to sort out and I don’t want this road trip to end on a bad note,” Karter quietly said.   As much as she feared that she wasn’t ready for such an uncomfortable conversation, Kallie also knew that she couldn’t run away from Karter forever. Sooner or later, she had to face what had transpired between them at Lake Tahoe five days prior. Now was as good a time as any to finally clear the air, while the sun was still nowhere to be seen and the house was completely silent.   No distractions. No outside interference.   Just her and Karter.   After letting out a long exhale, Kallie nodded and gestured to the empty chair next to her at the table. He gingerly pulled the chair back and sat down, folding his hands in front of him on top of the table. There was another long stretch of silence as they both sat there, unmoving and unsure of how to properly broach the topic.   “So, um, how was yesterday’s game of Werewolf?” Karter finally asked.   Right, he hadn’t played with them last night, even though he usually loved playing games like this.   As soon as she had proposed the idea, Karter had made himself scarce, most likely out of consideration for the Chinese-American girl, and she felt a sudden pang of guilt from the realization.   “It was fun,” Kallie slowly replied. “I got voted out way too early though, thanks to Nessie stealing my role as the seer and Alex trolling too hard as the witch,” she added with a snort. “It’s a miracle we even managed to oust three of the four wolves by the end of the second round.”   “Sounds about right,” Karter commented with a weak smile.   The conversation stalled again after that, both of them continuing to avert their gazes and stare at the top of the table instead. Every time Kallie tried to speak, her voice seemed to catch in and the words died before they could leave her lips.   Why was this so difficult?   Why couldn’t she face him like she had so many times before?   The memories of that disastrous night at Lake Tahoe threatened to bubble up, but Kallie immediately squashed them with more recent memories of her and Seth together.   Seth was safe.   Karter seemed to notice how much difficulty she was having in parsing her thoughts into coherency, so after a deep breath, he spoke first again. “I know you might not be ready to forgive me for what I did to you and I respect that completely. The last thing I want to do is pressure you and ruin our friendship even more than I already have.”   “Thank you. I appreciate that,” she answered softly.   “I just want to apologize, from the bottom of my heart, for leading you on, Kallie,” Karter croaked out. “I never should have gotten so drunk when we were in Vegas on my birthday. That was completely irresponsible of me, especially knowing how upset I was about Ari at the time, and I ended up hurting you in the worst way possible because I was so negligent. And then I hurt you again at Lake Tahoe when you were already so confused and I’ve been berating myself for that ever since.”   He looked so forlorn as he spoke that Kallie found herself resting her hands on top of his hands in comfort. “You’ve been hurting just as much these past few days,” she quietly noted. “But while I had Seth to heal my wounds, you had no one.”   Karter kept silent as he met her gaze with his sorrowful one, now seemingly out of words after his emotional spiel.   Letting out a deep exhale, Kallie continued, “I’m not going to say that I wasn’t devastated by everything that happened, because we both know that would be a blatant lie. But I’ve also done a lot of thinking these past few days and Seth helped me process a lot of what I was feeling.” A small smile began to appear as she recalled the long conversations she had shared with her best friend. “And I’m just going to treat this as a phase. Liking you was a short phase in my life. And now…it’s over…”   And a huge weight was suddenly lifted off of her shoulders once that last word left her lips.   This moment in time was so small, so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Her first didn’t necessarily have to be her last. As much as she loved a good fairy tale romance, Karter wasn’t that person.   And Kallie was…okay with that.   Looking at Karter now, there was still an ache in her chest. But it was already much less agonizing than it had been when she had darted away from him at Lake Tahoe, running like her life depended on it. Now, it was more of a dull pain, ever-present but something she could ignore.   And with enough time, it would eventually fade into nothingness. Until it was but a faint memory, hidden in the deep recesses of her brain.   “I wish I had the power to reverse time and prevent this entire mess from happening,” Karter lamented with his head angled down. “You deserve someone better to share the memory of your first kiss with. Not me.”   “It’s…fine,” Kallie answered wryly. “I’ll just…think of it as a trial run. It won’t count as my official first kiss.”   There was a slight pause before Karter repeated in a strained voice, “You really deserve so much better.”   “Seth said the same, but I honestly don’t think that I necessarily deserve anything,” the Chinese-American girl said. “Maybe this was something that I needed to go through. Maybe this was a mistake that I needed to make.” She let out a hollow laugh.   “No, don’t put the onus on yourself,” Karter firmly told her, gently squeezing her hands before withdrawing them to his side. “No one should ever have to go through so much emotional turmoil, much less you.”   “I guess…” Kallie then asked, “Are you and Seth okay? I didn’t ruin your friendship, did I?”   “We’ll be fine,” the male Hong Konger reassured her. “We’ve already talked things out, even if things did get a little heated during our conversation,” Karter sheepishly admitted. “He almost bit off my head when we were at Fisherman’s Wharf while you and Alex were at Ghirardelli Square, since he was so pissed off. And rightfully so, considering what I did.”   “The two of you didn’t actually get into a fight that day, did you?” Kallie worriedly asked. “Seth told me not to worry about it when I asked him what happened, so I didn’t push him for details after that. Surprising, I know,” she quipped with a half-smile.   “Well, we didn’t get into a physical fight, but it was pretty close to becoming one,” he answered, wincing slightly. “And I honestly wouldn’t have blamed Seth if he had punched me. I would’ve deserved it.”   “No, don’t say that,” the Chinese-American girl said immediately. “No one deserves to get hit, no matter what the reason is.” She looked down at her hands. “I shouldn’t have fallen for you in the first place, especially after finding out how much Ari meant to you.”   “Like I said, you don’t have to keep shouldering the blame, Kallie.” Karter sighed deeply before continuing, “Again, I’m so sorry for what I did and I really hope you can forgive me one day.” There was a slight pause before he added in a barely audible voice, “I really miss hanging out with you and being your friend.”   “I miss hanging out with you too,” she murmured. “And…I guess I forgive you too.” Kallie sent him a lopsided smile. “You don’t have to keep shouldering the blame either. Let’s just…put this behind us now and move forward.”   “Thanks, Kale. So, um, car buddies again?” Karter shyly asked while holding out his right hand.   Kallie’s smile widened as she grasped the proffered hand and gave it a quick shake. “Yeah, I’ll see you in the passenger’s seat again later today, Kai.”   Karter grinned brightly back at her. “You bet I’ll be there.”   Things weren’t perfectly back to normal yet, but it was a start.   And for that, Kallie was grateful.       The first stop the group pulled up to was the Santa Monica Pier. A coastal city west of downtown Los Angeles, Santa Monica was known for its pier and sandy beaches, which meant the group had to visit the Santa Monica Pier and the Muscle Beach even though the beachfront city was just a short stopover for them before they headed in the direction of Los Angeles.   Once Kallie parked the car in the car park, Lucas waited until Jason, Estee, and Chloe alighted from the car before pushing the seat forward to make room for him and Bianca to get off. Bianca hooted cherubically as she stretched her arms, pointing to the Ferris Wheel in the distance with a huge beam on her face.   Lucas watched with a smile as the girl ran forward and hooked her arm around Chanel’s and Vanessa’s, pulling the two girls forward. He slowly strolled along the pier, trailing behind the group as he took in the scenery in front of them. Since it was a Monday morning, the pier wasn’t too crowded, but there were still tourists around the area.   The group bought a few finger snacks and refreshing drinks before continuing their way down the pier. Their attention was soon drawn to a group of street dancers performing on the sidewalk. There was already a small group gathered around them as the dancers performed their tricks. The crew also joined the crowd to watch their amazing performances and cheered loudly with the rest when the dancers pulled off several high-level stunts successfully. At the end of the performance, Lucas dropped a two-dollar bill into the hat on the ground.   Soon, the group chanced upon a busker covering a mashup of trendy pop songs while playing his guitar. Bianca playfully nudged Lucas, suggesting that he join the male for a collaboration. Chortling hysterically at Lucas’s priceless expression, Bianca stuck out her tongue and finally assured him that she was just kidding. Lucas’s appalled expression slowly relaxed as he chuckled weakly.   “You’re so cute! Still not able to take a joke,” Bianca expressed airily.   “You sounded so serious about it,” Lucas muttered, blushing scarlet as he scratched his head. “I should’ve known.”   Suddenly, the Korean girl squealed, pointing to the carousel in front of them. “Oh-em-gee, it’s picture time!”   Grabbing Lucas’s wrist, she pulled the boy forward with a bright glint in her eyes and Lucas just allowed the girl to drag him. In front of the carousel, Bianca joined the rest of the girls as they struck different poses in front of the huge merry-go-round.   A few more photo stops along the pier later and a thousand photos after, Bianca suggested that they go on a bike ride after seeing a bicycle rental shop nearby.   “I don’t know how to cycle though,” Chloe muttered quietly with a pout.   “There’s a Segway rental nearby too,” Russell kindly offered.   “Ooh, I’ve always wanted to try the Segway,” Kallie said with a beam. “C’mon, Chloe. Let’s go try that instead.”   Chloe chewed on her bottom lip. “I can’t ride that either.”   “Don’t worry, marshmallow,” Karter piped up from the side. “I can’t ride that either. But I heard there’s gonna be safety training that teaches you how to properly and safely operate the Segway.”   “Yeah, you’ll be fine,” Kallie reassured the Korean-American girl.   Looking slightly convinced, Chloe joined the Segway group.   After the crew split into their respective smaller groups, they set off to rent their own vehicles. The bicycle crew, consisting of Lucas, Bianca, Amelie, Jonas, Leon, Vanessa, Rowan, Lani, Ripley, Jeremy, Chanel, Estee, Lucy, and Jason, entered the nearest bicycle rental store. Unfortunately, they had already run out of single bikes for everyone and two people had to share a tandem bike instead.   Chanel’s eyes glistened as her eyes swept over Amelie, Jonas, Leon, and Vanessa.   However, before she could decide on her target, Jonas spoke up. “C’mon, Leon. Looks like we’re stuck together.”   Leon smirked, swinging his arm around Jonas’s shoulder, and said, “Sure, bro. Leggo.”   Chanel balked with enlarged eyes and stared incredulously at the two males, feeling extremely trifled with. Before she could vent out her displeasure, Leon had already pushed out the tandem bike with Jonas following behind. The rest of the gang burst into silent chuckles.   Amelie smirked as she patted Chanel’s back before pushing out her own rented bicycle. “Sis, you tried.”   Chanel glowered unhappily as she kicked the kickstand up grumpily and followed the rest of them out of the shop.   Once everyone had rented their bicycles from the Santa Monica Bike Center, they mounted their bicycles and headed in the south-east direction. Soon, they passed by the Chess Park, which had a collection of sixty-seven outdoor chess boards. They then stopped to each grab a hot dog at the original Hot Dog on a Stick stand after parking their bikes at a nearby bike stand. As they walked around, the group chanced upon a human-sized chess board and they decided to take photos, pretending to be different chess pieces.   Hopping back onto their bicycles, they continued southwards until an outdoor gym came into view on the left. Bianca hooted in glee and pointed to the gymnastics apparatuses excitedly.   “Let’s take a stop there and play with those!” she suggested, braking to a stop.   The rest agreed as they carefully locked up their bikes at a nearby bike stand. Bianca immediately started to race to one of the empty rope-climbing sections, grabbing the rope that was hanging from a tall bar.   “Watch me, es!’’ Bianca shrieked as she scaled up the rope easily like a monkey.   The girls hooted with cheers as Bianca pulled herself up and perched herself on top of the bar.   “I swear, Bianca can do a much better pull-up than you,” Ripley teased Jeremy.   Jeremy’s jaw dropped as he stared incredulously at his girlfriend’s snide remark. Wanting to prove her wrong, he walked ahead to attempt the rope-climbing apparatus as well.   Lucas giggled at their exchange as his eyes travelled back to the Korean girl who was expertly scaling down the rope now. He only reluctantly took his eyes away from the girl when Jason called for his attention, asking if he wanted to explore the park together. Lucas nodded before casting one last look at Bianca, who was bouncing off with Chanel to welcome the other few who had finally arrived on their Segways.   The group spent some time trying out the different equipment, making a fool out of themselves and also taking turns to attempt the Segway. Soon, Lucas found himself beside Bianca at the weights section. He tapped on her shoulder and attempted a conversation.   “Shall we go back to our bikes? We have around one more hour until our rental time is up and we should probably make the most of it,” Lucas suggested, while looking at his wristwatch.   Bianca nodded in agreement. “Makes sense! Gotta get our money’s worth. Let’s go! I’ll race you to Santa Monica Beach then.”   Lucas watched with a fond smile as Bianca ran to the bikes before jogging after her. After a short ride back, they passed by the Santa Monica Pier and continued forward, finding an empty space to park their bicycles, before Bianca took off, racing down the beach towards the sea. He slowly walked after her, his gaze locked onto her familiar figure, while his heart raced in his chest.   Ever since they had talked and made up, he and Bianca had naturally begun to pair up within the group. With Chanel so focused on pairing up Amelie and Vanessa with Jonas and Leon, respectively, Bianca had often chosen to hang out with Lucas instead as she watched the others’ shenanigans in amusement. And over the course of the week, it had begun to feel like their past relationship. But without the pressure of needing to push himself to socialize with strangers for her sake or of pretending to act like someone he wasn’t.   Everything felt so much more natural and liberating, and Lucas wondered if he and Bianca would have broken up back then if their relationship had been more like this. Deep down, he had always known that he had never truly gotten over Bianca and his feelings for her from the past were beginning to resurface with every day that passed. Every time she smiled at him, every time she waved at him, Lucas could feel his heart thump wildly like a drum.   However, the knowledge that Bianca would be returning to Korea after the road trip loomed over his head like a gray rain cloud. They had just barely reconciled with each other after two years of dead silence. It seemed unfair that they would soon be separated by the Pacific Ocean, perhaps permanently if they both chose to remain in their home countries. Without any concrete knowledge on what the future carried for them individually, Lucas wasn’t sure if he’d ever see Bianca again after the road trip ended.   And the thought of that instantly wiped his smile off of his face.   They could still keep in contact, of course, thanks to social media. Bianca was just a quick direct message away, even overseas.   However, their lives would soon diverge as they met new people and chased new dreams, both of them soon fading into old memories once again. Bianca would most likely meet someone who shared the same outspoken nature, the same ambition and passion for business and fashion. And perhaps they’d eventually fall in love with each other and build a beautiful life together.   Lucas suddenly realized how much he hated the thought of that.   Despite everything that had torn them apart in the past, he found himself imagining that they were in a relationship once more. He found himself recalling the happy moments they had shared together. For so long, he had only focused on upsetting memories that made him question if romance was truly worth pursuing.   But after seeing the other couples in the group personify love in such a pure manner, Lucas wondered if he had been too hasty in giving up on Bianca all those years ago.   Now, more than ever, he wanted to give the two of them a proper chance at being a couple. He wanted to see how things would pan out with open communication and compromises.   He wanted to be with Bianca again.   He wanted to see her smile and laugh every day. He wanted to give her a reason to come back to America and he wanted to fly to Korea to visit her whenever he could.   If Lucas had learned anything on this road trip, it was that he needed to be less afraid about taking chances. After all, if he hadn’t boldly approached her that night at Death Valley, they would have never resolved their issues and repaired their friendship.   As long as he tried, as long as he was brave, there was a chance for them to rekindle their relationship.   And as crazy as the thought sounded in his head, Lucas was willing to take that chance.   While Bianca was busily looking for seashells, he found a stick on the ground and then surveyed the beach for some flat, untouched space that he could use as his canvas. After finding the perfect plot of sand that was far enough away from Bianca so she couldn’t see what he was doing, Lucas turned his back to the ocean and carefully wrote in Korean, “Will you be my girlfriend again, Lee Bona?”   After surveying his handiwork, hoping that his lettering wasn’t too shaky since he didn’t often write in Korean, Lucas closed his eyes and slowly exhaled in order to calm his rapidly beating heart. No matter what her response was, he would accept it and respect it. They had come too far to revert back to uncomfortable strangers again.   At the end of the day, he was already grateful that they were now on good terms after such a turbulent break-up and Lucas would do whatever he could to protect that.   Well, it was now or never.   Once he was far enough away