I stood by the door while i watched Ten packed his luggages into the trunk of his father's car. Trying to hold myself back from throwing myself onto him and begging him not to leave. This was all for him, and Ten is finally going to get all the recognition and exposure he deserves. His talents were way beyond anybody's and if this talent was left unfound, it will always be a regret I'd never get over for the rest of my life. 

Terny came over and rested her head on my shoulders. She perked up, "Are you sure you wont regret this?"

I sigh as I was just reassuring myself before someone doubted me again.

I hung my head low and replied, "I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret it...."

She tilted her head to take a better look at me. "Then why put yourself in this position? Just send him off, will you?"

She looked back at me while walking away, hoping that I'd follow her onto the family car which were getting loaded to send Ten off. I closed my eyes and shook my head again, before giving her a look of regret and she too turned around and walked towards the car proper with her shoulders slouching. If anyone knew how close Ten and i really were, it was definitely Ten's sister, Terny. She'd been with us since we knew one another. And she too, was like my own sister. She'd always be around when i needed her to, and she'd always be ready to offer a piece of her mind - not rudely but honestly. They're always words i needed to hear, words that reaffirms me and sometimes made me think clearly about certain situations. She knew from a long time a go that I'd be together with Ten one day, and it was her voice that nagged at me at the back of my head when i constantly denied them. She was a treasure herself, a slight variation from Ten and way more of an extrovert than Ten is. But she's still a sweet respectful and crazy talented sister that Ten never needed to worry of.

When Ten was done, he came back to the door way and linked our hands together.

"I guess this is good bye" he looked into my wavering eyes and then pulled me in to give me a really tight hug.

"I'll miss you..." I buried my face in Ten's chest, holding back whatever unshed tears there were, and replied,

"Me too. Stay safe and don't forget about me!" I pulled away to give him a slight glare.

He laughed and ruffled my hair, "Never in my life would I do that!!"

He pulled me in to give me a long hearty kiss, and when we part, the silence between us spoke louder than each of us could express how much we are gonna miss one another. And with that, Ten board the car where his whole family were waiting, and left.

 

I stayed around for a little while. But the more i stayed, the more Ten's absence became denser and real to me. I quickly locked up his house and went back home, hoping that being in my own room where i have survived the time i spent away from Ten half a year ago would give me strength. 

I greeted my mom and while taking off my shoes as she was heading out and she immediately questioned my presence.

"Wait, why are you home. Isn't Ten's flight scheduled to leave in three hours?"

I glanced at her briefly and nodded.

"Yeah, but.. I thought it'll be better not to be there, I'll try to stop him if I was there..."

My mom sensed how bitter i sounded so she stopped me and held me with both arms.

"Are you sure you dont want to be there, if I were Ten, I'd honestly want to see every minute of u before leaving..."

My mother's concerned eyes lingered on me while I fight my innermost devils again. I looked to the ceiling and sigh, there I was being selfish. Protecting myself from being hurt rather than prioritising Ten's feelings. Of course he must have felt bad that he wouldn't be able to see me too. I wasn't the only one going thru this.

"Oh dear.... this must be really hard on you..."

I started to cry while my mum busied herself with wiping my tears and giving me a rub on my shoulders to comfort me. She pulled me in for a hug I needed.

"Mom... why am i always so sefish...? I didnt even think that Ten would feel exactly as i did and i still chose to prioritise myself over him..."

I cried ugly with my snort spilling everywhere. My mom pulled out her handkerchief for me and she continued to coo at me.

"That's perfectly normal for any human beings to want to protect themselves first. We'll learn eventually that sometimes some people meant more to us than we do to ourselves. Maybe you just haven't reached there yet..." She rubbed circles onto my back while i continue to whine. 

"But Ten didn't do that to me! He always places me first, he even said that he'd give up the exchange if I wanted him to stay... HOW can someone be so selfless?!" I frail my arms around while i shouted, becoming angry and disgusted with myself. 

"Then learn to put him first" she paused.

"Eventually it will be natural for u to always put him first. Now that u are well aware of your own selfishness, then start doing things to change it. For a first, let's hop onto my car and head to the airport, okay?"

She smiled at my pointless anger, knowing it wasnt directed at her. 

I looked at her with my swollen eyes and nodded in defeat.

"Let's just make things right this time."

 

 

I arrived at the airport with my mind in a whirl. Because we left slightly later, we were caught in a massive jam and there was only an hour left before Ten's flight was schedule to take off. By this time, Ten should alrdy be at the departure gate. But as I ran frantically to the direction of the departure gate, I soon spot a familiar group of people. Instead of running straight into the centre of the circle, I kept my distance and decided to hide behind something first. I didnt want to just crash into Ten and end up sobbing miserably in front of that many people.

Everyone from his friends and relative came to send Ten off. It was almost a routine for anyone going for exchange to have such a send off. There were other groups too because there were a few other students leaving together with Ten too. I stood on my spot and caught my breath while i kept my eyes on the boy standing in the centre of the group.

Though he was smiling and cheerfully greeting everyone, there was something about those laughters that didnt quite reached his eyes. Ten has always been a ray of sunshine and rainbows with everything warm and fluffy, but somehow i could feel that the light he held dimmed a little, and i cant help but feel like it is my fault. 

I sighed and squated on the floor as i lose my strength to remain standing and just when im about to cry again, a deep husky voice stopped me. 

"Uhh, are you okay?" 

I look up to see a tall male with fluffy light brown hair covering his eyes looking down at me. I stared at him a little longer, trying to recognise the face, but nothing register.

"Ure hiding behind my luggage so..."

I looked around me to finally realise that i had been using his luggage trolley as a shield because it was the nearest i could find to hide myself with from Ten and the group.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I'm just a little caught up in my emotions" I quickly stood up and rubbed my eyes, feeling awkward and embarrassed that someone actually caught my whole episode.

He looked a me for a little longer before tracing my line of sight to find the person i was hiding from. Just when Johnny turned around and looked in my direction, i shift my body to hide behind the male who stopped me in my tracks and shielded me with his big build too. 

"Do you need more time getting yourself together?, Im not sure whats going on, but if you want to get to him, you should. He's probably leaving soon since he's been here for an hour" He genuinely sounded concerned even though he didnt need to - especially towards a stranger behaving suspciously and weirdly. 

I kept my eyes on Ten and I did see him starting to wave to everyone around him. I suddenly became anxious yet my feet were rooted to the ground. 

The male then moved himself out of my way and then gave me a light push to my back. "Go" was all he said, and i was on my feet, running towards Ten.

Ten has just turned around to head towards the gate and it was moments just before he reached out his passport to hand to the guards on duty for a check when i shouted for him.

He spun around quickly and manage to catch me while i slam my entire being into him. As much as he was so surprised to see me, he hugged me tight while he teared together with me.

"I am so sorry." I spoke in between my sobs.

"I am so selfish and i am the worst human being you've ever meet."

I continued crying my heart out as he pats the back of my head and pulled back to give my ugly face a good look at it. He laughed the moment he saw how ugly I was and i whined while pulling him back. There were laughters and lots of cooing going in behind us as the crowd watched us. But it didnt matter because Ten was in front of me, i could only see or hear him. Continued hugging and I could feel his reluctance too, it wasnt until Johnny stepped up to us that we knew it was getting too late. 

Ten rested his forehead on mine and he looked at the little space he created between us.

"I'll be well, I'll have fun and I'll miss you, every single minute I'm there, I promise."

His low voice shook to the core of me and had me crying again.

"Ohhh no"He smiled as he rubbed away my tears.

"Promise me the same and on top of all that, don't be a crybaby. I don't wanna be seeing a swollened eyed girl when i return." Ten teases and I cant help but missed him already.

Regardless of how I hated to part from him, i forced myself too. I kissed his cheek and pulled hi