May 23 2014

We had to be okay. We had to show everyone that we are all doing okay. We had to lie in front of everyone again. Especially it was the day we all dreaded to come. The first time we will all be standing in front of a huge audience for our very own concert.

We all decided not to talk about Kris anymore after what happened. It was our own defense mechanism of coping up; after the outburst that Zitao had. We all came down to agreeing that it was for the best.

Nothing will be the same anymore after Kris’ departure. And I know everyone’s doing their best to make everything feel normal. Somehow, it made me glad that the others were trying to. It made my job of getting them intact a little easier. But it also scared me, that sooner or later the kids will break.

“The press conference will start in 10 minutes. EXO standby.” The show PD announced before leaving our dressing room. Just like any other shows, a press conference will be held before the concert. And all of us were against holding one tonight. Keeping a straight face in front of hundreds of media people would be hard work. But we had no choice.

We’re nothing but puppets.

We were all left inside the room; even our managers left us. Seunghwan hyung might have felt that we all need the privacy to talk among ourselves.

“I know we’ve all agreed not to talk about it; the managers assured me no questions about Kris will be raised. It will be all about our concert.” I looked at each one of them, my stare lingering longer at Zitao who only nodded with his head bowed down. The kid apologized minutes after his outburst not only to me but also to everyone. And we all understood him; he wasn't the only one feeling that way.

“We will be okay. And I promise you that, we’ll be fine.” I assured them, my words laced with determination.

“We trust in you, ouri leader.” Luhan hyung smiled at me, gently squeezing my shoulder in assurance. And I couldn't be any more grateful being surrounded by teammates who were more understanding and supportive.

“This is our night. We will own it.” They all nodded their heads at me, smiles on their faces.

And with one voice and one heart, we all chanted ‘EXO Saranghaja’ as one.

“EXO, who owned 2013, is starting the year 2014 with your first concert. What are your other plans as a group this year?”

Applause filled the hall after the statement of how EXO prospered as a group last year. It was true enough; 2013 became our year.