14. IS THE ROAD EVER SMOOTH?

My father's favorite saying is from the Greek philosopher, Aristotle: "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom."

"And how do we discover ourselves?" my father would then say, quoting next the Chinese philosopher Confucius, "'By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is the most noble; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the most bitter.'"

In many ways, my idea of life has been shaped around the same philosophy. I don't ask for life to be easy or fulfilling. I only ask to know myself for who I am, and in knowing who I am, I want to live with a clear conscience—I want to exist with the realization that I am not perfect, but that my flaws are what make me whole.

"My younger cousin is coming to Seoul to become an idol." I tell Jungkook, my eyes still open in the darkness.

I'm facing away from him, my body curled slightly into a fetal position as my hair spills over the pillow. The bed-sheets are cold as I clutch them closer to my chest, the chilly nature of the fall already settling in the room at night.

"She's staying in my parent's house until her big audition in a month." I continue quietly, "That's why we won't be visiting my parents for a while."

"Is there a backstory I should know about?" Jungkook asks.

"If you want to hear about it. I don't think it's all that interesting." I say, rolling carefully onto my back. Jungkook's warmth is apparent right beside me me—his breathing is light as it brushes over the side of my neck, goosebumps raising under my skin.

"Try me."  he murmurs, his arm crossing over my body. He pulls me close, his voice muffled by the crook of my shoulder.

"Well, remember how I used to go on blind dates a lot?" I stifle a laugh as I hear him grunt dryly in reply. "Well, it's because my parents met that way. It's actually all a matter of good luck—that day, my mother was supposed to be my uncle Joonmyun's blind date. But last minute, Uncle Joonmyun ended up blowing if off, so he made my dad go in his place. Do you believe in love at first sight? My mom fell in love with my dad at first sight."

"And then got married, and then they had you?" Jungkook guesses in amusement.

"How could it be that easy?" I scoff, my hands resting on the arm he'd wrapped around my waist. "My dad didn't even take the blind date seriously. It was Uncle Joonmyun's number he gave to my mother afterwards."

"Oh?"

"Of course, my mother tried her best, but it was only until my father got very sick once—my mother visited him in the hospital, and that's when he accepted her." I recount carefully, "My father proposed the week he was discharged. They all thought he was crazy, you know. My father was only just starting his business at the time. But my grandmother thought it was nice. She said it was good that he didn't let go of love once he found it. My father's marriage was still seen as climbing up the social ladder, though. That's why my younger cousin hates me—she feels like it was her father, Uncle Joonmyun, who was supposed to marry my mother. And then she would've been born in my place instead."

"Even if your mother had married your uncle instead, that cousin of yours wouldn't have been the one born in your place." Jungkook reasons lightly.

"Don't try to reason genetics and science with a nineteen year-old." I sigh, "Though I can't say there's anything about my life to be truly envious of. It's not that glamorous if you look closely. My dad shares almost everything with Uncle Joonmyun anyways, so it's not like my cousin grew up having to worry about her own financial situation."

The room grows quiet as I think to myself.

"Yerim, do you want a luxurious life?" Jungkook asks, after a moment.

"Not really." I say, "I mean it's nice to live the way I am living right now, because we're really fortunate. We don't have to worry about food, or water, or electricity, and we have a great house when it's so hard to buy property nowadays. But it's really not what my cousin thinks it is. Yes, we're wealthy, but we're not inheritors to a chaebol empire or a conglomerate. We still have to work hard and manage money wisely." I frown as I peer into the darkness, "That being said, I guess it would be pretty great to have a glamorous lifestyle. I just think it's not something I have to have."

I suppose that from the outside looking in, it's all a rose-colored glass. But is it possible that I do see the point of my cousin's envy? I'm happy with my life as it is.

Maybe that's a quality worth holding a grudge over altogether.

—

Two days after his return, Jungkook develops a bad case of the flu.

Although the situation was severe enough to keep him in bed, it was, according to Jungkook himself, nothing to be concerned over. True to his word, Jungkook recovered in a matter of two days, almost as if nothing had happened, returning to work immediately. Thus, I was greatly puzzled to hear that my future mother-in-law, Jungkook's mother, would be arriving in Seoul and staying in our house for a few days to take care of Jungkook.

Yet, I supposed that Jungkook did need someone of authority to chastise him about working less and eating his meals on time.

As my dad was out of the country, my mom opted to visit Jungkook's mother upon her arrival, to enjoy a few hours of wedding planning together. So, by the time I saw my mom's contact displayed on my vibrating cellphone, I assumed she had called to ask me about the color of the wedding tablecloths or something.

"Mom?" I keep my phone wedged between my ear and my shoulder as I rummage through my purse for my ID badge. "Didn't you just get to the house like...an hour ago?"

"Yerim, are you coming home soon?" My mother's voice seems a bit distracted as she ignores my prior question. There's an urgency in her tone that I've heard only rarely before—my mother did have quite the temper, but it was never the kind that caused her to sound this frazzled.

"Um, I'm in the elevator right now." I say, confused. "What's going on?"

"Come home as soon as you can. I'll deal with this until you get here." she huffs, before hanging up on me.

My mother has never hung up on me before.

Good God.

I make a sprint for the parking lot, dialing Jungkook's number, hitting voicemail. I connect to the Bluetooth in my car, calling my mom again. Voicemail bounds back at me like a slap in the face.

By the time I arrive in the driveway of the house, I can barely keep my hands from shaking. I clamber up to the door, entering quickly without much of a graceful gesture.

Immediately, I'm greeted with the strange arrangement awaiting me in the living room.

Jungkook's mother is seated quietly beside my own mother, who is standing from her seat. While Jungkook's mother seems relatively calm, my own mother's anger is prominent in the lines on her face as she glares at two women sitting on the opposite side.

I walk forward, only to see Ms. Seo and her daughter, Seo Soojin.

Ms. Seo seems to freeze for a moment as she takes in my presence. "And I was wondering who you two were waiting for—of course it is Yerim. I suppose now that she is here, it's better for us as well!"

Jungkook's mother has a cold expression on her features, as if she hadn't even heard Ms. Seo's words. My own mother finally takes a seat, looking towards me. "Yerim, you came just in time. This woman has been sitting here, accusing your fiancé of misconduct towards her daughter for the past hour!"

"As if my son would ever do such a thing." Jungkook's mother finally adds. "I must have a talk with Jungkook when he arrives home. Our family will not accept involvement with these types of people."

I set down my keys, walking over to my mother's side and sitting down. My mother frowns, opening with an intention to say something, but is cut off before she can speak—Ms. Seo slams the cup of tea in her hands on the floor.

I wince as the porcelain shatters.

"'These types of people?' Your son is the one who took advantage of my daughter, and you're asking me to keep quiet about it?" Ms. Seo seethes, practically foaming at the mouth. "What kind of justice system do you think we live in? Are you really not afraid of us going to the police?"

Finally seeming to come to my senses, I try to reason. "I'm sorry Ms. Seo, but do you think there could be a mistake? Or a misunderstanding of some—"

Ms. Seo glares at me with an intensity that sends my words reeling back in my mouth. "A misunderstanding? You've met my daughter before. She even calls you unnie, and here you are, trying to dismiss her as a misunderstanding? How dare you!"

I feel my mother's hand clasp my own as I stare wordlessly at Ms. Seo.

"Of course, you lot wish it was some kind of misunderstanding. It's best that nothing happened, so that you can still marry into the lucrative pharmaceutical business for your mother's hospitals!" Her words land scathingly. "You don't have a heart."

I think silently for a second, before calmly replying, "Ms. Seo, I understand that you said what you just said because you're very angry."

Ms. Seo begins to laugh. "You can pretend all you want that you want to marry your fiancé for the right reasons. You two live like strangers in this house, always so polite and distant. You live together, and yet your lives are wholly separate! He isn't satisfied with you—just admit it."

My mother stands all of the sudden once more, dragging me up with her. "You do not get to speak to my daughter like that. I will have you removed from this house immediately—"

"Don't even try to move us out of this house today!" Ms. Seo threatens back through clenched teeth.

Jungkook's mother also stands. "Seo Joohee, you either leave on your own terms, or leave on ours."

Ms. Seo points her finger accusingly. "Isn't this clearly an abuse of power? I have worked for your family for twenty years, Choi Namhee. Your son violates my daughter, and tries to resolve it with a check? If you dare to kick us out of this house, then don't be surprised when the newspapers tomorrow are filled with reports about the Jeon and Kim family."

My mother turns around to me, then. "Yerim, say something." she whispers, tugging on my sleeve urgently.

When I finally glance up from my hands, my line of vision moves from Ms. Seo's triumphant expression to the lowered head of Seo Soojin. The only one of the two I can reason with, I garner, would be Soojin herself.

"I'm a little confused." I say, tilting my head to catch Soojin's attention. "Soojin, you said Jungkook violated you. But exactly what happened? Please tell me."

Soojin looks up towards her mother.

"Your mother can't help you with this question." I say, "This is your own account. Don't rush, and tell me slowly."

Ms. Seo lets out a bitter chuckle. "My daughter is in this state, and you ask her to recall her pain? You haven't even married into the Jeon household, and you're already helping them erase their ugly wrongdoings..."

Soojin suddenly looks up at me, then, with a bravery of unknown origin. "What do you want me to say? Jungkook...he touched me!"

I sit down again, then, pouring myself a cup of water from the coffee table. "When?"

"Just two days ago." she answers, stubbornly defiant.

"He was bedridden and throwing up two days ago." I say.

"So what?" Soojin's fingers curl into fists at her side. "He was the one who told me to come into his room!"

I stare at her quietly. "Why did he let you into his room?"

Soojin's eyes widen. "You asked my mother to make him soup. I was visiting my mother here, so I simply brought it up to his room. I told him you had soup made for him, so he told me to come inside."

"You made him think that I was the one who told you to bring soup to him?" I ask.

"What difference does it make? He opened the door for me." she argues, seemingly on the verge of tears. And yet, on her face, I could see no fear or sadness. "The room was dark. I fought and cried, and he didn't let go. After, he gave me a check to keep me silent—even though he and I are close, I won't accept being kept silent with money. He should be responsible for his actions..."

The room falls silent for a moment.

I clear my voice lightly. "That's it?"

Soojin nods.

"Oh." I say.

Soojin seems alarmed by my reaction. "You...you don't believe me?"

I shake my head. "No. I'm sorry."

She bites her lower lip, hissing. "I'm not lying. Why would I use myself to ruin Jungkook's reputation? He's someone important to me."

"You're right. You wouldn't use yourself to ruin Jungkook's reputation." I sigh, "But you might use yourself to ruin his engagement with me."

Her lips tremble then, as she suddenly rises from her seat. "You're jealous of me, that I'm younger than you, and prettier than you, and, and that Jungkook oppa and I..."

The glass cup in my hands slams down with a loud crash. "What did your mother just say?" I raise my voice, "That you call me unnie. But you clearly have never thought of me as your unnie."

A flash of fear finally crosses Soojin's face. She steps back in response to my actions, nearly falling back into the sofa as her mother grips her to keep her from tripping backwards.

"So tell me, what kind of responsibility do you think Jungkook owes you?" I demand.

Ms. Seo's face is red. "What kind of woman are you? Have you no soul? The hush money check your fiancé wrote to my daughter is still on the table, and you want to help your fiancé break off with a clean record? You want to become a wife of the Jeon family that badly? Well, well. As long as my daughter and I are alive, don't even think about successfully marrying into the Jeon family. Jeon Jungkook has the audacity to violate my daughter, then try to marry another woman? In his dreams!"

"So you're saying, you want your daughter to marry into the Jeon family?" Jungkook's mother expresses a line of disbelief. "Your daughter?"

Ms. Seo ignores her, turning directly to me. "You, Miss Kim, are the one who couldn't control your fiancé, and it is you who let him violate my daughter. This is your fault if my daughter cannot raise her head for the rest of her life! If you have any good conscience in you, then cancel the engagement."

I shake my head slowly. "That might be a difficult proposal."

"What do you mean, difficult?" Ms. Seo shouts, "Soojin isn't like you, with a history of playing with men. That son of the Jung family is still not over you! And that Park Jimin, who you've been taking up to your room when Jungkook isn't home!"

Jungkook's mother seems to look at me then, with a blatant shock on her features.

My mother slams a hand on the table.

"Hah, have I accidentally spoken too much?" Ms. Seo crows with a smug smile, "You don't know about this yet, Mrs. Jeon?" she laughs in self-crowned victory. "Your future daughter-in-law is a fox!"

My mom begins to shake in anger, looking towards Jungkook's mother furiously. "My daughter has never done anything worthy of being called a fox. If you believe it or not, that is up to you and your husband. But I see that this situation is not at all the Kim family's problem. Good riddance!"

I never thought my mother would be this angry as she pulls me up and drags me towards the door, bag in hand in all.

"Trying to leave?" Ms. Seo suddenly reaches out and clasps my wrist in an iron grip, her fingernails digging into my skin. "You can't leave unless you promise us!"

"Promise what?" I say, struggling to get her hand off of me. "Let go."

"Promise that you won't marry Jeon Jungkook!" Ms. Seo demands.

My mom reaches back to pry at Ms. Seo's hand on my wrist.

"If you leave without promising me, then you'll be forcing me and my daughter to extreme measures!" Ms. Seo threatens. Just as my mother frees my wrist from her grip, Ms. Seo reaches out with her other hand to hold onto my other wrist.

"Ms. Seo, let go." I plead.

I barely register when a foreign hand reaches out from behind me, taking Ms. Seo's hand off of my wrist.

Turning my head, I sigh in relief at the face I see.

"Jungkook..."