12. TIME, PLEASE RETURN TO ME.

I giggle as I sense Jungkook draw near, my eyes still closed as my lips stretch into a wide grin. My hands reach lazily, fingers brushing the hair at the base of his neck.

"What time is it?" I grumble, swatting his hand away from its grasp on my chin.

"Hm, five-thirty." Jungkook answers lowly, his voice almost resembling a purr.

"What are you doing up at five-thirty on a Saturday morning—" My eyes open when I suddenly recall that Jungkook will be leaving on his flight soon. I'm greeted immediately by the sight of him as he hovers over me, thin, pink lips parted slightly, dark hair brushing over knitted brows.

"I'll help you pack." I murmur as my fingers reach to smooth the deep crease in between his eyebrows, my heart thudding in my ribcage.

"You should sleep more, Yerim." he exhales lightly, a smile tugging at his lips.

"I'll sleep after you leave..." I mumble in defiance—the bedsheets rustle as I sit up, my legs swinging over the edge of the mattress and my feet finding their way into slippers. I quietly gather my hair into a low ponytail, and the cold air rushes under my nightgown and around my neck when I finally stand, making my way towards the door. Jungkook follows behind me to his room, where I tap my lower lip before lugging out a medium-sized suitcase from the closet.

"Let's see, suits...ties...mmfh!" My next words are muffled as a sudden thick fabric is pulled over my head. I realize immediately that I'm now wearing one of Jungkook's hoodies, and it practically falls to my knees in length.

"It's cold." Jungkook coughs from behind me when I turn to glare at him. He'd changed into a button up shirt that had yet to be buttoned at the collar, and my eyes widen at the tempting sight of his collarbone.

"Ah...fine." I huff before returning to my task, whirling about the closet as I arrange outfits for Jungkook in my mind. He only watches me flit around silently, a small smile on his lips when I turn around to eye him, arms crossed.

Jungkook laughs as I walk back up to him, nestling my head against his chest. It feels nicer than I imagined to be held by him. His arms encircle me gently, and that's when I realize I don't want to be let go.

"Yerim, sometimes you have the strangest way of being a kid and a twenty-five year-old at the same time." He tells me, his hand gently resting against my hair.

I murmur a word of dissent, raising my chin to stare up at him. I knew I looked ridiculous in the moment, wearing Jungkook's large clothing that engulfed my form almost completely, its sleeves far too long for my arms. "Take care of yourself. Don't work too hard." I instruct with no room for negotiation, a small sigh overcoming me. "I'll see you off to the door."

We begin our journey downstairs, my steps reluctant and his hesitant, as if neither of us wanted to proceed.

But he was Jeon Jungkook.

And I was Kim Yerim.

Without a question, responsibilities always came first. It's in our blood.

I stare at him quietly as a female secretary of his arrives at our doorstep, the commotion around me fading as Ms. Seo hands the girl a packed meal for Jungkook's breakfast before his flight.

"Take care of yourself too, Yerim. It's early. If you can, go back and sleep more." he tells me, and I nod with a small smile.

When he walks out that door and down towards the driveway, I don't wait to watch him drive away.

That was how Jeon Jungkook would leave me to my own devices for a week.

"You and Mr. Jeon seem closer lately, Miss Kim." Ms. Seo notes to me, not long after Jungkook had left.

I stretch my arms until my shoulders tingle, muffling a yawn with the sleeve of Jungkook's hoodie. "I guess so." I send her a small smile as I massage the back of my neck drowsily. "I'll go catch a few more hours of sleep, yimo. Please rest as well."

My feet start their slow waltz up the stairs, but come to a halt when I hear an incessant knocking that precedes an all-too familiar voice.

"Yerim?"

"Spare me." I mutter under my breath as I begrudgingly trudge back down the stair case and up to the door, where I yank on the handle with unprecedented force. And there—beyond the furnished wood horizon—was the precise reason I would not be having my few more hours of sleep.

"It's six-thirty in the ing morning, Park Jimin. But yes, do come in."

—

Pale, smooth skin. Dusted hair, falling over softly cut monolids. Full, pink lips with a perfect autumn tint.

Park Jimin.

Kang Seulgi's one and only...first love.

"You didn't call me." He accuses first, so impudently that it makes Ms. Seo jump from behind the kitchen counter. "You didn't tell me!"

"It was none of your business to mind." I counter with a flick of my wrist, "And had you visited when Jungkook and I invited you for a housewarming last month, maybe I would've felt gracious enough to tell you."

"Gracious?" Jimin snarls, running a hand through his hair. "Look at you, woman! It's been less than eight months since I left, and you're marrying Jeon Jungkook—ha! You're one to talk."

"If I tell him you said that, he'll lock you up in his lab until you cry." I retort, clearly having missed such a style of banter in the months that Jimin had been overseas.

"You wouldn't!" Jimin screeches. "In all these years that we've known each other, Kim Yerim—is it him or me?"

"Damn you, who do you think put this ring on my finger?!"

"I'll have one made just like it if that's what it takes—"

By now, Ms. Seo's face had turned an uncanny shade of green.

I reach out and pull Jimin close by the sleeve before pointing upstairs. "That's enough—let's go upstairs before I get in trouble."

Jimin shakes his head. "Nuh-uh, I'm not stepping one centimeter into the room that you and Jungkook get it on in."

"Yah, we haven't done anything." I hiss, my face burning red.

"Maybe that's why you're so cranky." he grins ear-to-ear, triumphantly.

" you, Park Jimin."

—

Jimin and I were inseparable since I can remember—the bath-babies type inseparable, the Bonnie-Clyde duo that terrorized Seoul since even before our mutual bonding over Sailor Moon. Among my childhood friends, Park Sooyoung had been the fairly reasonable one, and it honored my inner mischief much when I'd met my match in her Busan-tongued cousin, Park Jimin. We'd grown up expecting to marry each other, before realizing that the relationship between us was only platonic. Hence, when I'd developed my searing crush on Jungkook after graduating high school—well, it was only sensible that Jimin was the first soul I'd told.

"Listen up you brat," Jimin sobs dramatically on my shoulder as we sit together on the floor of the lounge. "I can't believe you're giving the rest of your life away to that swot..."

"I can't believe it either. What would the old Kim Yerim say if you were to tell me that I'd one day marry Jeon Jungkook?" I hum, handing Jimin tissues absentmindedly. He honks into the paper like a goose.

"You'd threaten to hang yourself." he snorts indignantly, "Jungkook's like my little brother, but he's always been a hard nut to crack—I'm more surprised he fell for you, actually, considering how annoying you are..."

"Park Jimin, are you particularly aching to get hit today?!" I shriek, struggling to hide the laughter behind my glare as I cross my arms in front of my chest. "I thought you came here today because you wanted my help."

Jimin smiles gleefully as he faces me with a start, "Ah, you've reminded me of the sole purpose of my journey. My dear Myemim, I was told by anonymous sources—ahem—that Seulgi..."

"Wait." I say, holding out a hand to silence him. "If you mean to ask me to set you two up again, it's not happening."

He narrows his eyes at me, then, and the humor in his gaze wanes.

After a moment, his smile falls.

"Why not?" he whispers, suddenly sounding crestfallen.

I pat him lightly on the shoulder as I shake my head. "Because Seulgi's philosophy is—well, let's put it like this: if two people have grown past each other, then they should let each other go. And as stupid as it sounds, I want to respect that."

Jimin fumbles for words. "Do you really think that's true, though?" he questions.

"Maybe, maybe not." I answer. "Seulgi's always been selfless—you know that more than I do. If being selfish is a good thing in this case, then I wish she would let herself be selfish every once in a while."

He lowers his head. "Could you possibly consider...at least letting her see me next week? I just...want to see her again. She doesn't come back to Korea often, and neither do I..."

Ah, right. It was already October—clear skies and sweaters, Seoul's brisk autumn, and Park Jimin's only month spent in Korea.

I my lips hesitantly before nodding. "I'll consider it. In the meantime, help me think of ways to surprise Kookie when he comes home." I say, stretching my hands in front of me.

"That's easy. You could always—" Jimin wiggles his eyebrows devilishly.

My eyes roll to the back of my head. "I regret asking you already—but say, if you're not busy, you'll attend my high school reunion with me, won't you? It's tomorrow, and it's a plus-one event, but Jungkook's out on a business trip."

Jimin agrees without much prodding as he swings his arm around my shoulder. "Anything for you."

—

Kkoo 꾸기
Yerim, I landed. I'm at the hospital now.

Kkoo 꾸기
Don't drink too much tomorrow when I'm not there...

Yerm 옒이
Eh?????! How did you know I'm drinking tomorrow?

Kkoo 꾸기
Jimin made a point to brag about it to meㅜ

Yerm 옒이 
That little...

I glance up from my phone as I balance my laptop on one knee, my eyes catching a particular article headlining Naver.

Kang Seulgi, bestselling author of , to publish second novel in December titled [...]

Perhaps this year, I think, when Seulgi comes home, she'll finally stay.

—

I seldom liked to look back on my life when I was younger.

I thought it would be a waste of sentiment—what's lost is lost, after all, and there isn't much that you can do about the past other than sulk in your nostalgia.

But now, when I do take the chance every now and then to look back, I do so not to recount my losses, but to remember the things which have made me who I am.

I suppose there is a virtue in being able to find peace in the process.

"I never understood why—but sometimes, there are people who walk abruptly into your life, solely with the purpose to leave." Jimin tells me, his eyes closed as he leans his head back on his seat. "At least, that's what Seulgi used to say."

We were sitting together in his car, parked outside the venue for my reunion when I'd decided to wait a bit before entering. Last night, I'd regrettably found it hard to sleep without Jungkook's breathing coaxing my mind into slumber, and I'd stayed up on a movie marathon instead—despite the makeup that easily concealed the dark half-circles under my eyes, my body felt like it was going to succumb to its fatigue at any minute.

I was a far cry from the vigor of my early youth, when I'd stay up weekends on end cram-studying for finals.

I turn my chin to stare at him. "You know, Kang Seulgi has her wise moments, but also her fair share of not-so-wise moments—in which case, this is one of them. That's bull she fed you, Jimin—she was just trying to make it easier for herself to leave you, and you know that. You and I both do."

"Well, why?" His voice isn't bitter, just lingering with a sad curiosity. "Why is it always easier for one person to leave another when a relationship ends?" he asks, a faint shadow from the rearview mirror falling over his delicate features as he sways his head, side to side in a shake. The streetlight warms his skin, bathing it in a golden glow. "It's not fair. She left me, and she walks away guiltless, free. And here I am, miserable, missing her."

I feel a slight twinge in my chest as I face the roof of his car once more. "I don't think it was any easier." I say, biting my lip, "I think she just kept it all to herself. That's what she thinks being strong means—pretending like it doesn't hurt when it hurts like hell."

"What pisses me off is that we're hurting like this for no damn reason." Jimin hisses under his breath, "I'm twenty-nine years old, Yerim. My grandparents are passing their wealth to Seokjin-hyung, and I'm free to do whatever I want. So what makes her think—"

"We all have a conscience, Jimin. We live up to a conscience—a conscience that we want to tell us, 'You've got nothing to regret.' And that's why sometimes, we give up." I say with a heavy sigh.

"You didn't give up." Jimin laughs, finally turning his head to look at me. "You didn't give up, and look where you are now—getting married. Who would've thought?"

I shake my head again. "The truth is...Jungkook asked me to marry him, but not because he loved me."

The grin on his lips fade. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...our engagement was an agreement, and nothing else." I say, brushing back my hair with my fingers. The strands fall over my shoulder as I laugh. "At the time when he asked me, there were a million voices in my head, screaming 'no'. Logically, it made more sense at the time to simply move on, I think. It'd been years since I'd felt this way towards him, and nothing happened in those years. Who could say things would be any different? Why hurt myself by putting myself in such a vulnerable situation? I felt—undeniably—that Jungkook was never meant to be by my side."

"Then, what made you say 'yes'? What made the difference?" He frowns, the awe in his voice evident.

"Well, I guess it's because I'm selfish." I confess, exhaling softly. "There's a flawed part in me that can't bear with the fact that Jungkook might find someone else, and that it might be my fault if I didn't take the opportunity. I wanted to have him, even if it was just in name—I wanted to believe it would be enough."

"It wasn't enough, was it?" Jimin's grin returns as his full lips tug upward with a knowing glance.

"Of course not." I affirm, "I told him how I felt about him just before he left, you know—and he said he'd give it a chance."

Jimin places his hand over mine. "We're in this together, Yerim." he jokes, "It's funny how the two of us are hung up on two people so unattainable. But we love them all the same, don't we?"

I nod, staring out of the window.

"We do."

—

Since graduation, high school classmate of mine always bought down a venue each year for our reunion, and it had always been a plus-one event. However, I'd never invited anyone else before, mostly because I never saw a point in showing my significant other off to my high school class.

I was different in high school, in a sense—we all were. It's the little bit of my past that I get to keep all for my own.

"And if this isn't the only I ever trusted with my life, Kim Yeri!" Son Chaeyoung's voice is unmistakable in my ear as she tackles me in a warm hug. When she pulls back, I take in her choppy bob, sleek eyeliner, and dimpled cheek with giddy nostalgia.

"And who is this?" she asks, eyeing Jimin with a pleased grin as she reaches out and their hands shake. "Son Chaeyoung, Yeri's main girl in high school."

"Park Jimin, nice to meet you. I'm Yerim's old childhood friend." Jimin introduces himself merrily as Chaeyoung giggles closely to me.

"Single?" she wastes no time to ask, as straightforward as she'd always been.

"Physically, yes. Emotionally, not so much." I answer before Jimin can, taking her hand in mine. "Is that a new tattoo I see?" I ask, directing the topic swiftly away from Jimin's touchy relationship issues.

"Ooh, you've got good eyes." Chaeyoung laughs pleasantly in response as she fingers the rose on her wrist.

"I'll go find us a seat." Jimin chuckles as he pats my shoulder, sauntering off with his hands stuck in his pockets.

"You've never brought someone before." Chaeyoung whispers as we stand together near the entrance.

"We're both lonely people tonight." I explain with a snicker. "He's got a broken heart, and I've got a fiancé who's gone for a week."

"Fiancé—" Chaeyoung starts in surprise, her words interrupted by the rush of wind that gusts through the open door. A pair of familiar faces enter the venue, arms linked, and my mind scuttles to register the woman in particular.

"Yerim-ssi!" the woman greets me with a wide smile that makes my own cheeks ache. "I didn't think I'd meet you here."

"Yeri, Chae—it's been a while!" the man beside her waves to me. "I didn't know you were acquainted with my girlfriend."

I nod. "It's great to see you both, Mark... Soojin." I manage to say.

My heart feels stuck in my throat as we make our way through the doors together. I leave Chaeyoung in favor of Jimin's refuge, who I spot hovering near the food.

"Your face seems paler than usual." Jimin whispers to me when I find him digging into the appetizer course at the tables. He'd slung his jacket and my purse to save a chair for me, and I sit beside him without much of a response until I see Soojin turn her back for a moment.

"Well, it's a long story." I keep my voice low as I lean towards him inconspicuously. "Um, there's this girl who—"

"Yerim-ssi, who's this?" Soojin approaches me from behind, and I plaster a patient smile on my face as I turn in my seat to face her.

"We can, ah, drop the formalities, Soojin-ssi. Since you're, ah, Mark's girlfriend." I cough, grateful for Jimin's supportive hand on my back as I add, "If that's alright with you."

"Of course it's alright, unnie!" she responds cheerily as Jimin extends his hand.

"Park Jimin." is all he says as they shake, his eyes pleasantly waned to hide his confusion. "Nice to meet you, Soojin-ssi."

I let out a light cough as Soojin then leaves us be, floral perfume lingering in my nose.

"I think I know what's going on already." Jimin says, patting my back. "So let me take a guess—you and Kookie's ex-girlfriend have met."

"I wouldn't call her an ex-girlfriend." I specify through my teeth, gulping down a few mouthfuls of water. "Um, she's—well, let's put it this way—Jungkook's old caretaker's daughter?"

"Ah." Jimin nods, finally seeming to understand as a smirk lingers on his face. My fingers itch to wipe it right off. "You're jealous? That's odd. You don't seem the type." he says.

"I'm not." I shake my head, "it's just awkward. You know. Awkward. And there's something odd about the whole way she talks to me sometimes—like she knows something I don't. It's an itch." I say, kicking Jimin underneath the table when he doubles over in guffaws.

"So now she's an itch? Ouch." he snickers, leaving me to bury my head in my hands. "I wouldn't worry about it much, unless you don't trust Jungkook. Which, believe your inner conscience—you know Jeon Jungkook. The man's not the type to double dip, especially when he's hitched already."

"I know that." I laugh, pouring myself a bit of beer. "I'm just not very interested in getting to know her as well as I have been. We keep bumping into each other, but I feel like some people are better off as strangers—not because either of us bear bad intentions, but just because...it really is just better that way."

Jimin nods in agreement. "You're right. At least she's got her own relationship to distract her, though."

I glance over towards Mark, my gaze flitting momentarily at Soojin's hand on his arm.

"Yeah." I mutter as I feel the fizzy brown liquid in my hands run down my throat.

Jimin fills my cup for me ceremoniously as the meal starts, and I give him a grateful look that speaks beyond my words. It's not long before I dust my hands and signal a trip to the bathroom, somehow finding my way there on my own.

Pushing the door open, I stare at the mirror as I wash my hands at the sink, the overhead light casting a soft shadow on my features.

My cheeks are slightly flushed from a slight dash of alcohol, but I'm not drunk—just tolerably warm. I dab a bit at my eyelashes, wiping a bit of fall-out makeup off of the corner of my eye.

Hm.

It's been a while since I've really looked at myself like this. I lean into the mirror, my eyes wide as I examine my skin texture closely—

"Oh! Yerim unnie, it's you!"

I practically jump in surprise as the reflection of Seo Soojin appears out of the corner of the mirror.

"A-ah, Soojin..." I regain my composure awkwardly, teetering on the heel of my shoe as I muster a friendly smile.

"You seem a bit distracted tonight." Soojin notes as she stands in front of the mirror beside mine, reapplying her lipstick. "Not so much like the Kim Yerim I met the other day."

"Really?" I ask skeptically, before conceding with a shrug, "I suppose I'm different when I'm comfortable."

She frowns at me with those impeccably-lined red lips. "Something's up with you and Jungkook oppa, isn't it? That's why you've brought another man with you?"

At least she's blunt.

My fingers twitch uncomfortably as I adjust my hair through my reflection. "Jimin and I are good friends." I clarify placidly, my tone even. "I'm not cheating on Jungkook, if that was your concern."

We make eye contact through the mirror.

"Of course not." she laughs dryly, and I nod.

"Good." I say, stepping away from the mirror, evidently trying to make an escape.

"Unnie." she calls out suddenly, stopping me in my steps. "I know you might hate me, but—"

"I don't hate you." I say, turning around to stare her in the eye. "Whatever you and Jungkook have, I'm completely fine with it, because I also have close friends of my own who are in relationships. We're adults. My marriage with Jungkook doesn't mean you two can't be friends anymore—but that doesn't mean we have to be friends either."

Her smile falls immediately. "Jungkook oppa didn't tell you, did he?" she articulates each syllable, as if expecting me to react badly.

"He'll tell me when he wants to." I say, shrugging. "The past doesn't matter to me. I really just want to be clear on that. Regardless of what past you two have had—even if you two were once in a relationship. It's in the past, and I respect that. I don't see a need to dig up something useless at everyone's expense."

She seems to grit her teeth then, the corners of her eyes welling with emotion. "You're right...but..."

"But, you still like Jungkook." I deduce without a beat of hesitation, my eyes refusing to leave hers.

She has nice eyes. They're a very pretty, shiny brown under the light, and the tears only make them brighter.

"Yes." she answers, "I'm sorry, really, it's just—I was always told I'd be the one in your place...I'd be the one marrying him."

"Firstly, don't apologize." I say, my voice calm as I hand her a tissue. "Liking someone isn't wrong. I just hope you know that dating Mark, despite what you feel, is what's wrong. Second, I understand that it's hard, but I don't know anything about you and Jungkook. Honestly, I'm not the best person to talk to about this. You'd be better off talking to Jungkook himself about it, because there's nothing I can do for you."

The only thought ringing in my mind is that I want to get away from here. I hate situations like this, and I'm more compelled to avoid them than try to resolve them. Yet, I'm glad that Jungkook isn't here with me today.

I don't want him to think I'm cruel for acting this way.

"I'm sorry, Soojin—" I start, but I'm interrupted before I can continue.

"You could leave." she blurts out, catching me off guard. "My mother said that your marriage isn't a real one. It's nothing but going through the motions—would it not be so easy if you could just leave?"