burning red

Golden Hour

 

       There was a boy called Koo Jun Hoe. He was tall and he sang well. He laughed heartily, unguardedly, and he was warm. Like Hot Chocolate on a rainy day. She had known him since they were twelve. They had grown up together in the same church. They were both taught the piano by Miss Shin. When they were fifteen, they performed a duet together. It was for Christmas and the practice days were many, the hours long. He would bring nutmeg chocolate bars every day to rehearsal; they still reminded her of him. After rehearsal, he would walk her home in the snow. One day, he grabbed her hand and put it in his coat’s pocket. He had a gum inside. They giggled about it as he broke it in half. It was apple flavored. She remembered the laugh in his eyes that night. He gave her flowers on the fourteenth of the following February. It came with a note that said, “I love the way you sing. Make me happy and sing with me all my life.” When he kissed her, he tasted like the apple flavored gum. It was in the park, by the swings. In the distance, the church bell struck midnight. It felt straight out of an old Hollywood movie. She imagined their future together. They’d sing for each other on their wedding day. They’d teach their kids to sing. They would understand each other. They were happy. She thought they would marry someday. Three years of being together sounded reassuring for teenagers who saw their friends fall in and out of love a hundred times. But when they were eighteen, he told her he was leaving. He was leaving for the states to study. He would be away for four years. Or more. Four years was twice the years spent in the army. She knew that she could not ask him to stay. She didn’t cry. She hugged him goodbye. She saved her tears for the nights when she cried until she thought she would never wake up again. But she would. She would wake up the next day and face another day like Koo Jun Hoe never existed. Chae Young was strong. Her heroes were strong, independent women who emerged stronger every time they fell. Jo March and Jane Eyre had faced the world frail, women and plain, and emerged as heroes. She would too.

She chose to major in English Literature in University. It was the only subject she did well in. Besides her novels on Regency heroines, she loved watching old Hollywood movies: Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady, Vivien Leigh in Gone with the Wind and Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra. She learnt to speak English. She had moved from reading translated novels to reading them in English while Koo Jun Hoe still existed. University was a space for her to start anew again- without the memories of Koo Jun Hoe. Because Jun Hoe had always been enough, she realized now in his absence that she had made no good friends through the crucial years of her teens. But that would change now, she resolved. Chae Young would live. Just like her heroines.

***

Kim Ji Soo lived two doors down from hers in the dorm. Chae Young noticed her first because she was uncommonly pretty. But she wasn’t just pretty. She had an infectious bubbly spirit that made Chae Young want to be friends.

Once in the common room, Chae Young saw her with the book Who moved my Cheese.

Nonchalantly settling down next to her with a book of her own, Chae Young said conversationally, “I enjoyed that book.”

“Oh really? You’d have to tell me about it,” Ji Soo replied. “I’m likely not going to finish it. I only started it because my friends call me Chichu and it sounds like Cheese.” She laughed, unabashedly.

Chae Young loved how honest she was.

“Which department are you from?” Chae Young asked.

“From the Department of Communication,” Ji Soo replied and then added quickly, “I know we are supposed to be reading a lot, but god, I could barely finish a Jane Austen. Give me a thriller any day. Or a romance. But not Fifty Shades.”

Chae Young laughed.

Ji Soo was two years her senior and she already had her own circle of friends, but Ji Soo took her under her wings. With her lively, bubbly spirit, Ji Soo knew almost half the campus and Chae Young found this both fascinating and amusing. Ji Soo was how Chae Young settled into the campus, and Ji Soo was how she met Kim Tae Hyung.

Kim Tae Hyung was Ji Soo’s classmate. He had sharp, angular jawline and a deep, husky voice that always sounded as though he was serious even when he was not. It worked out great for him because it made his jokes even funnier. Tae Hyung had an effortless way of cracking one liners that he could come up with at the instant. But it wasn’t the sense of humor that first got Chae Young’s attention. It wasn’t the intensity in his eyes either- the way they seemed to see right through your soul. Or the way, he’d wink conspiratorially, catching people off guard. All of these were incredibly attractive, of course, but Tae Hyung read too. Chae Young loved how Tae Hyung would reference books in passing without a sense of showing off. Of course, Tae Hyung didn’t read as much as students from the Literature department were expected to, but Chae Young was so used to students reading so little that the extent of his reading pleasantly impressed her. Sometimes, she’d hang out in the studio where Tae Hyung and Ji Soo were working on their broadcast material. Tae Hyung made decisions firmly and certainly. Where Ji Soo was finicky and panicky, Tae Hyung was calm and reassuring. The University radio was operated by the Communication Department students and Chae Young would wait for the days when Tae Hyung would man the mid-day programs. Watching and listening to him at work was how Chae Young realized that she felt most attracted to men who made her feel reassured.      

It was his mind that she found attractive, but it didn’t hurt that Tae Hyung was easy on the eyes too. She hadn’t had a crush on anyone ever since Koo Jun Hoe became a constant in her life. Having a crush on Kim Tae Hyung felt new, made her happy. She liked talking about him but didn’t want to let people know about her crush either. So, she learnt to bring him up in conversations without being obvious. With time, she also learnt that she wasn’t the only one. Jung Ye Rin and Kim Bona openly admitted to liking him. Ye Rin also told her that a girl called Da Hyun from the Korean Literature department had even asked him out once.

“I heard that he turned her down very politely,” Ye Rin told her, as they shared coffee in Ye Rin’s room. “Apparently, he said-” Here, she cleared and imitated Tae Hyung’s deep voice, “I think you’re a very sweet girl and anyone would be lucky to have you, but I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” Ye Rin exhaled. “Whoo, that guy is chic even when rejecting.” 

And then there was also the rumor, the suspicions that Tae Hyung likes Ji Soo. But Chae Young thought this was only because people did not think two attractive people of the opposite could be good friends.

Tae Hyung was passionate about his work. Chae Young gathered that from the time she’d spent watching him. She assumed that he was not in a relationship because he was career oriented. It made her like him even more. A year passed like that. Tae Hyung and Ji Soo were now in their final years. And that was when Chae Young began to notice something. Something very curious indeed. Sometimes, when she looked up from her phone or from talking to someone, she would catch Tae Hyung’s eyes on her for the briefest moment. Initially, she explained it off: it was because she was staring at him so much that he was returning it. But soon, the moments were becoming longer. He’d even smile back when their eyes would meet during such instance. Her heart would skip a beat. It was difficult to hold oneself when Tae Hyung’s intense eyes were on you; it made the hair on the back of your neck prickle, and your toes curl- because suddenly, you didn’t know where to keep your hands or how to walk, and your clothes had never felt shabbier, your hair never messier. Of course, Chae Young was elated. But she was older too. She knew Tae Hyung was graduating in a year. And he would leave. She was not putting herself through that again. That was the reason that mattered. And then there was another reason- the silly one. It didn’t make sense for Tae Hyung to like her; so many pretty girls around him; surely there was nothing special about her; so, what could it mean? Was he just toying with her? But that didn’t seem like something Tae Hyung would do. Sometimes, a sensible voice would say that it was because Tae Hyung was not superficial and was not fixated merely on looks; that it had taken Tae Hyung a year to get to know her and he had decided that he liked her. But when this voice came, she chased it away; she was not putting herself through it again. Tae Hyung would graduate, and she would be left crying herself to sleep at night.   

Chae Young decided that she couldn’t hang around Tae Hyung and Ji Soo anymore. Impulsively, she signed up for a club. An arts club. She used to enjoy painting and hadn’t done it in quite some time. It sounded like a good time to start again. There were very few students on the arts club- unlike the film club or even the comic club. But Chae Young liked it that way.    

One evening, as she was sitting with Kim Bona in the common room, both working on their essays, Bona said suddenly, “Oh, by the way, Chae Young-ah, I need to ask something.”

“Yes?”

“You’re in the arts club right?”

“Yes.” 

“Is there a boy called Jeon Jung Kook in your club?”

Chae Young recognized the name, though she hadn’t known that his family name was Jeon. “Yes, there is. A fresher. From the Mathematics department if I remember correctly.”

Jung Kook had joined the club at around the same time that Chae Young had. She did not know much about him, except that he was quiet as much as he seemed talented. He always wore black or white T-shirts that made him stand out even less.

“He’s my mom’s friend’s son,” Bona explained. “My mom called to say that I should take care of him. I mean he’s hardly a baby. How do I ‘take care’ of a grown- man in Uni.” She shook her head.

Chae Young laughed.

“Anyway, since Jeon and my paths will likely never cross at all, I just wanted to ask you….” Here, Bona paused, trying to find the right words. “I mean- just watch out for him. Like if he looks depressed. Or bullied. Or something. Ooof I don’t really know.”

Chae Young chuckled knowingly. “Alright, I will.”

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Comments

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rosiepark_ #1
Chapter 2: so cute!
RParkSJ #2
Chapter 2: ❤️ I love the pace of this story. It’s soft with hints of intensity … a tiny inkling, that somehow, she would love Jungkook fiercely.
justcrazy #3
Chapter 2: I love this. Very sweet
Haxelite
#4
Chapter 2: Thats really cute.
So glad i read this :)
keiik0
#5
Chapter 2: Aww. So sweet ♡
youknees_ #6
Chapter 2: That was so sweet ?
wink99 #7
Chapter 2: This is really beautiful <3