Siyeon, you once said that you need to go and find yourself, and I told you I won’t mind waiting. You told me that there is so much that you don’t know and you’ve always wanted to go and see the world. I told you to go for as long as you wanted to and I will still be here waiting for you. But you told me that you’d rather be alone, and you think that you don’t want to be tied to someone else.

You told me that you wanted to change, you wanted to learn new things. You’ve always wanted to find a new you. I told you to change if that is what you want, but you can change right next to me. I don’t think that you have to leave. We can change together, we can grow together. 

Siyeon, you know? You are not the only one that wanted to change. I am too. I also got so much to learn, and I also have so much to change. But I’d like the company of someone by my side through every twist and turn. 

I cannot give you much now, I cannot promise you the biggest stars now. But I am sure I can see that when we grew up I can bring you much more happiness. And I think that it will be better that we grew up together. 

********

Minji, you don’t understand. I cannot bring you happiness. We are two different people. 

You wanted company, but I am always a lone wolf.

You like bright things, but I love black.

You like to go outside, I love to stay inside. 

You like sweets, but I don’t. 

I wanted to change, I want to change for the better. But what I cannot tell you is that I wanted to change for you. I wanted to change so I could give you the happiness that you’ve always wanted. 

However, to do that, I will have to hurt you and leave you. Because as long as you are by my side, I won’t be able to see myself changing. Why? You cater to much for me, that’s why.

I want to be independent. I want to be someone that you could lean on in the future. I want to be someone that could accompany you through your high and low. 

I right now could not do all those things to you. I am weak, I am way too weak. 

I also want us to grow together. But I also want to find myself, change myself, and be a better me.

********

“Please tell me that you don’t want to leave, Siyeon.”

“I need to, Minji.” 

“Please tell me that you will be back, Siyeon.” 

“Let’s let the time decide, Minji.” 

“We grow as we go. But it seems like we couldn’t grow together…”

“I… I am sorry.”