What do you do when you find out you like a colleague you’re currently about to have a baby with? 

Jongkook desperately wants to continue the agreement with Jihyo. He wants to be able to talk to her without her being suspicious. After all, they were still friends in her eyes, right?

It’s just a little crush, he tells himself. Nothing big, just him being irrational for a moment. Like all infatuations, they’ll disappear sooner or later. She’s been his colleague for ten years — that’s longer than most of his relationships, but she’s merely a coworker, not a girlfriend! 

Except, he really can’t stay away. She lights up his life even more so than before, and he actually looks forward to going home to her. He’s been using work as an excuse because he doesn’t trust himself to be in the house with her. Knowing his feelings, he might accidentally give it up and start kissing her during dinner or something — some self control he has! 

There’s only one thing he can do about this now, and that’s to keep it a secret from Jihyo. She’s aggressively tugging on his heart strings without even meaning to, but he can’t let her know, otherwise their relationship might fall apart. He just cannot bear to scare her away; he needed this closeness between them to last, no matter how selfish he might seem. 

Besides, Jihyo’s as oblivious as ever. In fact, she’s entering her fourteenth week of pregnancy, and it’s been a great time so far — her appetite’s back without all the puking and the frequent need for naps. The downsides to all the eating though, is the constant bloatedness and the snugness around her waistline. She’s always been a fan of sweatpants and elastics, but this is ridiculous. The changes to the body were making her a little self conscious — she’s never felt more pregnant before, and it starts to really kick in for her when even her favourite pair of jeans aren’t comfortable enough for her to slip on.

Whatever. She’s only starting to show a little, nothing baggy clothes won’t fix so she still has a little bit of leeway. They say the camera adds pounds, so thank god for the weather still being cold enough to wear jumpers. 

Jihyo doesn’t think too much of Jongkook’s increase in schedules, having had the talk last weekend on his future plans to take care of their baby. But he's still very supportive in all this so here they were now, waiting at the gynecologist’s for Doctor Choi.  

She tries to get rid of the nagging thought that he's been a little distant with all his new schedules. Maybe he was anxious. After all, they might still get bad news. Jihyo pushes that somber thought of her mind, deciding to make small talk with him again, as if they hadn’t already done so in the car journey here. She has to admit, it’s been getting a little difficult to talk to him lately, like he was afraid of opening up to her. “Oppa, are you ready?”

“Of course.” Jongkook replies. He glances over to her over his phone, smiling softly at the sight of her tiny frame hidden under a baggy jumper and pants. “Have I told you that you look very cute today?”

“I do?”

“Yeah.” He frowns when he sees her disbelief. “What’s wrong?”

“You’d usually say I look like I’m forty and then make fun of me.” Jihyo eyes him weirdly, wondering if he’s being sarcastic. She’s been a little self conscious all week, knowing she’s starting to show and that’s why she’s been pulling out her sweatpants. 

“Don’t you wanna look cute?”

“No, I wanna look y.” She sticks her bottom lip out unhappily, and he stiffens. Doesn’t she know how attractive she is when she does things like that?

Jongkook laughs nervously, pushing his thoughts away. Be serious! You’re finding out your baby’s gender, not going on a date. , does he want to go on a date with her? He can’t even joke around anymore if all she does is captivate him so easily. How the hell is he supposed to function normally if all he can think about is her?

Saved by the receptionist who calls them over, he doesn’t get a chance to find out.

“Come on.” He says hastily instead, gently dragging her by the arm as he asks the inner voice in him to shut up. 

There’s a bubble of excitement and anticipation within him that he’s trying to suppress, but from the looks of Jihyo’s twinkling eyes, she was probably feeling the same way. It’s very cute, and he wonders if she knows how endearing she looks with the pregnancy glow? 

Jongkook curses mentally in his head; he’s doing it again, thinking about her. He better stop or else he might cause a rift between them. He didn’t dare ask her in the ride over if she’s excited for fear of not being to control himself. Why did she have to be so damn alluring?

Everything goes smoothly, even as they get to meet Doctor Choi again. She starts them off with the basic questions (Gain in appetite? Congestion? It's all fine.) and reveals that nothing is wrong (thank god!). “Since we’re all up to speed now, I’d like to take some measurements, Jihyo.”

Jongkook waits patiently, averting his eyes as Jihyo helps Doctor Choi lift her shirt up to take her measurements. But as the doctor takes a few notes on the distance around Jihyo’s abdomen, Jongkook can’t help but notice that she’s starting to show, with the faintest of bumps. Perhaps he was a little preoccupied the last time he saw her to have noticed that, but it did explain her newest obsessions with sweatpants. Unfortunately, it meant that he will have to ask about stepping down from the show soon.

“It looks good.” Doctor Choi nods in approval as Jihyo tugs on her shirt self consciously. As if she noticed, she adds, “It’s very normal for pregnant women to start to show now, don’t worry.”

“It’s not very obvious, is it? I still want to have some time before I take my hiatus...”

“It’s fine.” Jongkook assures her. He kind of wants to take her hand now, just to calm her down. He knows how she felt about her weight and size. It doesn't matter to him, because she's still going to be as gorgeous as she is now and— stop! Again? Seriously? Maybe he's the one who needs calming down.

Finally, Doctor Choi asks Jihyo to get up on the examination bed to prepare for the sonogram. Jongkook’s not going to lie; he’s very excited. And nervous. He doesn’t know how to be a dad. How the hell was he going to take care of his son or daughter? To teach his son how to shave one day? Or to make sure his daughter was treated like a princess and protected? He’s not ready for any of this! 

The steps are the same, so Doctor Choi squirts a nice layer of cold gel on her belly, and he notices the little bump clearly. In a few more months, she’d be growing! As the doctor moves the ultrasound wand and adjusts the settings on the fancy contraption for the sonogram to show, he’s starting to get anxious.

This time, Jihyo’s the one grabbing his hand. He looks down at their intertwined fingers, confused, but she only squeezes it  and he realizes that she’s trying to calm him down. He hides a smile — she always notices everything about him, even when he doesn’t voice it out. The warmth of her hand anchors him back to reality as he concentrates on the monitor. 

“As expected, everything looks fine.” Doctor Choi says as they see their baby on the monitor. It’s bigger now, resembling an image looking more similar to an actual human instead of a small bean they saw weeks ago. Nevertheless, it’s still very fascinating, and they are amazed at how much difference there was with just a few weeks. 

Jongkook beams at the screen, observing their child closely — he has never felt more proud in his life. And on the bed, Jihyo mirrors his expression, and he swears his heart flutters just looking at her with all the joy in her eyes. He likes her, and there’s no other reminder than a moment like this for him to feel the same longing in his chest. 

“Would you like to know the gender?” Doctor Choi breaks the brief silence, watching the soon-to-be parents see their child. “I can let you know right now.”

“Oppa?” Jihyo says softly, and glances up to Jongkook. They hadn’t really discussed this, but she'd really like to know. 

“Of course.” Jongkook grins, squeezing her hand again. This is the moment they've all been waiting for. He tries not to hold his breath as Doctor Choi nods.

“Well, it looks like you’re going to have a baby girl.” Doctor Choi reveals, pointing to the screen. “I can do a thorough test, but I’m very sure.” She pauses, letting the news sink in for Jongkook and Jihyo, and smiles when they look at each other with pure euphoria in their expressions. "She's just at the right position to tell. It will be more obvious in later sessions, but for now I'm going to go ahead and say it's a girl."

"Oh, that sounds amazing." Jihyo whispers, her eyes shining with tears. A daughter! She wonders if Jongkook's feeling as emotional as she was — he definitely was, with how tightly he holds her hand.

“I’ll make some copies of the sonogram again.” Doctor Choi nods, excusing herself as she left them to it.

A girl? Even when Donghoon about having one secretly in America, deep down inside, Jongkook always wished he had a daughter. His heart swells several sizes just thinking about sharing a little girl with Jihyo. A beautiful baby girl with Jihyo’s genes? Oh, she was going to be gorgeous! In fact, he looks over to her, and sees the same happy tears in her eyes as she digests this revelation herself.

“She’s going to be so pretty.” Jongkook whispers to her, and then boldly kisses her temple. She doesn't even flinch when he does. “Our baby girl.” 

“Oppa.” Jihyo sniffs, leaning into him as he extends his arm around her shoulders. “I knew she was going to be a girl!”

“Of course.” He laughs, his chest tightening as she burrows her head into his shoulder in the peak of her emotions. There’s just something intimate about seeing their baby girl on the monitor. He’s very much aware of how close she is to him right now, but he just wants to hold her forever. “I’ve learnt a thing or two from you to never bet against your instincts.”

She giggles, the vibrations rocking them both. In his embrace, she feels warm and safe, and she knows he’s going to be a great dad to their daughter. A mini her. No words can describe the excitement inside of her now. “Are you happy?”

“Very.” He mumbles into her ear as he holds her tenderly. “Remember when they showed us that merged photo of our faces?” 

“How could I forget? Sechan’s was horrifying.” They laugh, settling into one another’s embrace naturally.

“I’ve always wanted a baby girl.” He confesses, eyes looking at the monitor again. Something inside tugs on her heartstrings as she watches him, his gaze filled with tenderness as he admires their unborn child.

“Not a boy?”

“I was fine with both, but... there’s something about having a little girl.” Jongkook shakes his head, unable to erase the smile off his face. “I think it’s because you’re too pretty. It would be a shame otherwise.”

Jihyo feels her cheeks heat up under his praise, and hits his chest with her free hand. “That’s what you said the last time!”

“I wasn’t lying.” He swears, serious. 

She rolls her eyes — he was always so cheesy. “You'll just spoil her like how you spoil little Ha Song.” 

“Now I can just spoil my own baby girl instead.” He agrees, and she’s suddenly very conscious of how she’s in his arms right now. She’s not one for skinship, but somehow, she feels safe in his embrace. She wonders why they always feel so emotional every time they visit the doctor’s, but she has a feeling it’s because of the little one growing inside of her. She and her baby girl — they were both going to be cared for under the comfort of his strong arms.

She can only tilt her head to glance up at him, even if it was obvious from her angle. He was the most thoughtful man she knew, and he deserves this more than anyone else. He could realize his dream of starting a family and be amazing at it — does he know that he was going to make a great father? And was she going to be a good mother to complement him? 

Jongkook notices Jihyo staring, and shifts his gaze back down to her. Unknowingly, their lips are just inches apart, and he wishes he could read what she’s thinking.  “What?”

“Nothing.” She shakes her head. “I was just thinking.”

“Hmm?”

“Of...” She pauses, trailing off. Of what? Of him? Don’t be ridiculous. 

“... Of how Donghoon oppa’s really going to claim our daughter for Dream or Soul.”

“That punk!” Jongkook exclaims, frowning. He can’t say he’s also a little disappointed. For a moment, he thought she was going to kiss him. Then he shakes that thought out of his head; she’s not going to fall in love with him. That’s just his own weak heart and poor self control. 

Jihyo laughs, and it’s his favourite sound in the world. He does not know when it became like this, but everything about her is now his new obsession. So maybe he’s being selfish to hold her right now, but he wants this. He sees her as the mother of his child and sees her as so much more. He’d give her a hundred rings and all that money can buy if she’d just let him, but he knows she’s not materialistic like that. She’s a very simple woman, but at the same time very complicated if he’s having such a hard time trying to deal with his yearning for her. 

No matter how he has tried to stay away, she always brings him back unconsciously. Seeing her like this has only proven one thing: this wasn’t a crush he could just back out of — he’s very much in love with her. Every day spent thinking of her has only caused him more anguish, so he’s not going to avoid her anymore. 

In the heat of the moment, he almost kisses her. He wants to be able to lean down and press his lips against hers without the weight of their agreement looming in his mind. He wants to hold her close and never let go, and make sure she knew how much she meant to him. 

But he loves her and because of that, he can’t disappoint her. For the sake of their current relationship and for her happiness, he must learn to control himself.

So he remains there with her in his arms, and indulges in her warmth until she’s ready to let him go.