baby steps

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After spending a few minutes pondering over the best course of action to get a conversation started, Seulgi finally settled for the most obvious approach. To ask her name and bring up not having seen the waitress during any of Seulgi’s previous visits. As simple as the idea maybe, considering the waitress appeared friendly, it looked to be a success.

Seulgi took out her phone and started playing her favourite game of all time, Cooking Craze, while she waited for the waitress to come with her food. She was so immersed in the game that she did not notice even when the food was put on the table.

“Oh my god you play that game as well?!” It was this question that took her out of the trance she was in and focus on the present.

“Oh yeah I was looking for some offline games to play and came across this one. From how enthusiastically you asked the question, I assume you play it as well?” Seulgi couldn’t help but tease the waitress and sure enough, the waitress blushed instantly.

“Yeah it gets a little slow during weekdays so I had to find something to do.” She replied.

“Ah, I see now. Have you been working here for long? I don’t recall seeing you before.” Seulgi finally asked the question on her mind.

“I’ve been working here for almost two months now. But I previously took the daytime shifts which might be why you didn’t meet me before.” Seulgi nodded. Considering that it was only in the evenings after work that she visited the cafe, the explanation made sense.

"Well in that case it's nice to meet you, Ms…?"

"Joohyun. Joohyun is my name amd it's nice to meet you as well" The waitress said with a smile.

"Joohyun.. that's pretty. I'm Seulgi. I hope we see more of each other." It should be clear by now that Seulgi was totally enamored by the newly acquainted waitress. Whether it ends up being a good thing or bad thing, only time can tell. For now, Seulgi hoped that her future visits to the cafe would help bring them closer.

"Likewise. Enjoy your food and have a good night, Seulgi-ssi." Joohyun gave a small bow and left Seulgi to enjoy her food.

****

Ever since she took on this one job drawing the art works for a new restaurant that was opening, she barely had time to do anything else. She had been commissioned to do 7 different pieces of drawings all of varying sizes. This was on top of other commissions which came in online via her business Instagram. It paid well enough surprisingly, and whenever she got a big job such as the restaurant one, she received enough to pay her re

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Odd_20 #1 Jul 20, 2020 12:14:54

Chapter 4: Hello there. I have stumbled upon your fic by chance and wanted to give it a try. Here are my thoughts as a reader and writer, who would like to see you do better after noticing those numbers. There must be a few reasons behind such a situation.

First of all, your plot is cliché. It's obvious. There is nothing wrong with recycled or overused ideas, many authors do these often, but it's all about offering the reader a new window, an interesting view. With each sentence I read, I could already picture your next move. I could guess all of the dialog. These chapters felt like any other sappy Korean dramas or wattpad teenager fanfictions.

Then, your writing is bland. The words feel empty. I would suggest showing more emotion, more movement, more expression that varies. Readers expect to see, feel, hear all those people. But in these chapters, they just come and go without making me care about them. Give them more character and see how it turns out.

To acquire more attention, I would also suggest longer and organized chapters, another area you are lacking in. They make the reading experience complete and more concrete. Don't worry about not meeting the deadline, worry about meeting the expectations. The audience will even wait for a whole year for you, if your work is good of course. You personally have to work on this particular step, as far as I can see.

Also, you wrote that there is no particular plan in your mind for this story. This is a very wrong move. Most successful authors offer complex plots with more than one layer, unlike yours, and they do this by planning everything. Like I said above, having a solid story is important not only for the reading experience, but for your own satisfaction. Are you truly satisfied with this? Ask it to yourself at every step. If not, back away and think harder.

In my opinion, you need to work very hard on your writing in general. You have a long way to go. This story was your start, let it be the one you realize your mistakes and better your work. If you don't, you will keep beating yourself up, be disappointed in yourself for the effort you had to put in. Oh, make sure to read other authors as well and see how they do things. Even the stories you dislike might have done better than yours. Don't judge, instead, always be open to learning.

Please don't take these so seriously. I just want you to see and understand some things. I hope this comment was useful.

lalaland111 #2 Apr 12, 2020 21:12:46

Chapter 4: This was a very cute chapter. I like that Seulgi wanted to make new memories with her date (Joohyun), - that shows that she's interested in going out of her comfort zone (although, at the same time, it could also be that she's afraid of creating new memories in places that she frequents... is she afraid that the date is going to fail? or am I reading too much into it?)

Joohyun is just too cute, as well! D'aww.

grotexque #3 Mar 22, 2020 16:02:18

Chapter 2: Well-written! Seulgi is smooth here and cackled seeing Irene's fabric softener making a comeback. Hope to see more of Joohyun and Seulgi's story, authornim!

[sings] it's the start of something new~