you have to start somewhere

Please log in to read the full chapter

Seulgi settled herself in her car and sighed. it was Friday night, the end of another busy week and she had gone on another date. One that ended being vehemently underwhelming. It was only a month ago that she gave into her best friend's nagging and bravely made a profile on Tinder and got back into the dating game.

For her first date, she went to a movie with her date who was a lawyer. What she hoped for was for them to go to dinner afterwards and get to know each other. And if by chance things started awkwardly, they could talk about the movie they had just watched and go on from there. However, her date ended up being a thoroughly opinionated woman who not only trashed and picked apart the movie they had watched (it was Little Women, what was there to complain about really???), she went on to speak rudely at the waiter for forgetting one of the side dishes they had ordered. To say she was a stuck up would be an understatement. Seulgi was ecstatic when her Mum ended up calling her during the dinner that she quickly made an excuse and as kids these days would say, noped the out of the place.

As for the second date, she and her date made plans to meet up at a park near Seulgi’s place. It was only after an hour of waiting and a couple of calls that went unanswered on her dates’ end that she concluded that her date was not going to show up. She was a little bummed since their chats through the app seemed promising and to put it plainly, the woman was quite good looking. Any sane person would probably have given up on finding a partner through an app at this point but Seulgi was not someone who gave up that quickly when she started on something. Therefore, she was determined to give it at least one more go before letting life do its magic on its own. Or not.

So that is how she ended up giving up tickets to go to the theatre to watch “The Man Who Laughs” and ended up freeing her schedule to go on this date which ended up being one of the most unenthusiastic dates she had gone on. The woman by the name of Jieun, arrived 20 minutes late at their meeting place and proceeded to take a phone call which lasted another 20 minutes or so. After finally deciding on a place to go (she changed her mind about going to the restaurant they had previously discussed), they ended up going to a nightclub. And from there on out, she left Seulgi to make do by herself and lost herself into the crowd to “dance the night away” as she put it. What really bothered Seulgi was not the fact that she had hit the dance floor right away but that she did not bother to ask Seulgi to accompany her nor give her any indication that she was needed in any way. That left Seulgi scratching her head and wondering why oh why, was this “date” happening at all. After getting a drink for herself, a non-alcoholic one considering she had to drive back home, she settled down at the bar and observed the crowd. Thinking that her date had pretty much ditched her to do her own thing, she should at least try finding someone else interesting or interested enough to talk with.

Not long after, someone did approach her. The thing was, that someone

Please log in to read the full chapter

Next Chapter →

Comments

You must be logged in to comment

Odd_20 #1 Jul 20, 2020 12:14:54

Chapter 4: Hello there. I have stumbled upon your fic by chance and wanted to give it a try. Here are my thoughts as a reader and writer, who would like to see you do better after noticing those numbers. There must be a few reasons behind such a situation.

First of all, your plot is cliché. It's obvious. There is nothing wrong with recycled or overused ideas, many authors do these often, but it's all about offering the reader a new window, an interesting view. With each sentence I read, I could already picture your next move. I could guess all of the dialog. These chapters felt like any other sappy Korean dramas or wattpad teenager fanfictions.

Then, your writing is bland. The words feel empty. I would suggest showing more emotion, more movement, more expression that varies. Readers expect to see, feel, hear all those people. But in these chapters, they just come and go without making me care about them. Give them more character and see how it turns out.

To acquire more attention, I would also suggest longer and organized chapters, another area you are lacking in. They make the reading experience complete and more concrete. Don't worry about not meeting the deadline, worry about meeting the expectations. The audience will even wait for a whole year for you, if your work is good of course. You personally have to work on this particular step, as far as I can see.

Also, you wrote that there is no particular plan in your mind for this story. This is a very wrong move. Most successful authors offer complex plots with more than one layer, unlike yours, and they do this by planning everything. Like I said above, having a solid story is important not only for the reading experience, but for your own satisfaction. Are you truly satisfied with this? Ask it to yourself at every step. If not, back away and think harder.

In my opinion, you need to work very hard on your writing in general. You have a long way to go. This story was your start, let it be the one you realize your mistakes and better your work. If you don't, you will keep beating yourself up, be disappointed in yourself for the effort you had to put in. Oh, make sure to read other authors as well and see how they do things. Even the stories you dislike might have done better than yours. Don't judge, instead, always be open to learning.

Please don't take these so seriously. I just want you to see and understand some things. I hope this comment was useful.

lalaland111 #2 Apr 12, 2020 21:12:46

Chapter 4: This was a very cute chapter. I like that Seulgi wanted to make new memories with her date (Joohyun), - that shows that she's interested in going out of her comfort zone (although, at the same time, it could also be that she's afraid of creating new memories in places that she frequents... is she afraid that the date is going to fail? or am I reading too much into it?)

Joohyun is just too cute, as well! D'aww.

grotexque #3 Mar 22, 2020 16:02:18

Chapter 2: Well-written! Seulgi is smooth here and cackled seeing Irene's fabric softener making a comeback. Hope to see more of Joohyun and Seulgi's story, authornim!

[sings] it's the start of something new~