what do i know

oh to be in love
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III

It was 6:30pm in the evening when Seulgi finished taking care of her apartment and got around to visiting the cafe. She was greeted by the aroma of fresh coffee and something delightfully sweet when she stepped into the place. With a small smile on her face, she looked around to see if her new favourite waitress was in sight. To her relief and delight, Joohyun was just cleaning up the same table which was Seulgi’s favourite to sit at. 

 

Seulgi approached the table, making sure to clear so as to avoid giving Joohyun another fright by appearing out of nowhere. The waitress turned at the sound and smiled upon seeing it was Seulgi.

“Oh I didn’t expect to see you so soon. Hang on, I’m almost done cleaning up. This is your favourite table isn’t it?” Joohyun asked.

 

“Oh? It is but how come you know about it?” Seulgi asked with surprise.

 

Joohyun instantly blushed at that. “Well..I might’ve asked the other waitresses about you. Since you mentioned you come here often.” 

 

“Is that so? Hmm. I didn’t think you were that interested in me.” Seulgi couldn’t help but feel a little bashful.

 

Joohyun blushed even further, so much that she was starting to resemble the colour of a tomato. 

 

"I mean..I just got curious. That's all. I'm sorry."

 

Seeing the state of the other women Seulgi couldn't help but feel a little bad. So she took her hand as to reassure her it was all in good fun.

 

"Hey.. it's alright. I'm flattered really. And you look cute when you get teased so I couldn't help it." Seulgi said gently.

 

"But since you did ask around about me, I think it's only fair that I get to know a little bit about you in return, don't you think?" 

 

Joohyun looked less nervous now and went on to give Seulgi a smile.

 

"I mean..if you want to, sure." 

 

Seulgi grinned in victory. "I don't want to keep you from working so how about we meet some oth

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RemorsefulEnthusiast
Apologies for ending the chapter a little abruptly. Felt it was getting a little long and I wanted to post an update to let you all know I'm not dead lol

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Odd_20 #1
Chapter 4: Hello there. I have stumbled upon your fic by chance and wanted to give it a try. Here are my thoughts as a reader and writer, who would like to see you do better after noticing those numbers. There must be a few reasons behind such a situation.

First of all, your plot is cliché. It's obvious. There is nothing wrong with recycled or overused ideas, many authors do these often, but it's all about offering the reader a new window, an interesting view. With each sentence I read, I could already picture your next move. I could guess all of the dialog. These chapters felt like any other sappy Korean dramas or wattpad teenager fanfictions.

Then, your writing is bland. The words feel empty. I would suggest showing more emotion, more movement, more expression that varies. Readers expect to see, feel, hear all those people. But in these chapters, they just come and go without making me care about them. Give them more character and see how it turns out.

To acquire more attention, I would also suggest longer and organized chapters, another area you are lacking in. They make the reading experience complete and more concrete. Don't worry about not meeting the deadline, worry about meeting the expectations. The audience will even wait for a whole year for you, if your work is good of course. You personally have to work on this particular step, as far as I can see.

Also, you wrote that there is no particular plan in your mind for this story. This is a very wrong move. Most successful authors offer complex plots with more than one layer, unlike yours, and they do this by planning everything. Like I said above, having a solid story is important not only for the reading experience, but for your own satisfaction. Are you truly satisfied with this? Ask it to yourself at every step. If not, back away and think harder.

In my opinion, you need to work very hard on your writing in general. You have a long way to go. This story was your start, let it be the one you realize your mistakes and better your work. If you don't, you will keep beating yourself up, be disappointed in yourself for the effort you had to put in. Oh, make sure to read other authors as well and see how they do things. Even the stories you dislike might have done better than yours. Don't judge, instead, always be open to learning.

Please don't take these so seriously. I just want you to see and understand some things. I hope this comment was useful.
lalaland111
#2
Chapter 4: This was a very cute chapter. I like that Seulgi wanted to make new memories with her date (Joohyun), - that shows that she's interested in going out of her comfort zone (although, at the same time, it could also be that she's afraid of creating new memories in places that she frequents... is she afraid that the date is going to fail? or am I reading too much into it?)

Joohyun is just too cute, as well! D'aww.
grotexque
#3
Chapter 2: Well-written! Seulgi is smooth here and cackled seeing Irene's fabric softener making a comeback. Hope to see more of Joohyun and Seulgi's story, authornim!

[sings] it's the start of something new~