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He missed her every day.

He thought about her every day.

He missed her a little more every day.

Wherever he went, whatever he did Namjoo was a part of him. Sehun carried her everywhere in his heart.

To hour long meetings. To business dinners. Conferences. On trips. Car rides that lasted the entire day. When he was alone or resting in his sixth-floor suite. Listening to a song she loved, comforting himself with the thought she could be listening to the same tune from faraway.

Namjoo was always there in his heart. The remnants of her she had left behind for him.

In the office he kept empty at work. Sometimes when he passed, he’d stop the elevator just to peek into the room. Staring at the empty desk. The now dusty computer. Imagine her looking up to see him and grinning, because he had come down for her.

A thick swirl of dust floated from the window where the sunshine was strongest. The thin vase he always planted on the windowsill not there. The lingering scent of flowers nowhere.

He had stopped buying flowers. He had stopped looking at them at all.

And then he would move on, because he had duties to tend to thus life droned continuously. One day into another. The weather turned into sharp cutting winds blowing dried orange, red, newly yellow leaves across the pavement. Fall had arrived.

Namjoo wasn’t here to see the city turn dark in the late afternoons; the moon rise as sun hit the treetops. She wasn’t here to stroll the streets with him or tuck her hand in his pocket, so he could keep it warm.

She wasn’t here with him at all.

At the first snow fall he imagined her donning a thick coat in her favorite color. A soft wool scarf wrapped securely around her neck, maybe to hide the love marks he’d give her if she was here. Hoping she was warm on the other side of the world. Would the snow dust be blowing across the streets where she was? Were children rolling snowman along the banks?

Who had she shared the first snow fall with?

Had she fallen in love?

He hoped she was happy. Please be happy.

He would attest he was doing well. Still healthy, and he took regular trips to the gym. The business down south was running smoothly. Right now, he was prepping a new sports clothes launch. Would she be checking the news for him? He would make sure to dress handsomely in front of the cameras in case she looked for him, so when she read the paper and saw his picture her heart would flutter.

But for now, all was still the same. He was just working and moving along where nature took him.

Sehun spent Christmas and the New Year alone. Watching the sky dim and light back up. Another day. Same thing.

Colorful lights lined the streets from his home. From the window he could see colorful lights strung down the road. Each bulb glowing strongly even through thick snowfalls, like his love for her still rested in his heart. Huge red bows knotted to street lamps adding to the effect of seasonal cheer. The first layers of snow always pure white before turning dark and mucky because of traffic.

He had lost control on black ice one night and hit a pole and ended up in the hospital with a concussion. Nothing serious. Sehun didn’t want her to worry. Was she all right over there? Did she drive, walk, or take public transportation? Had the cold gotten her sick?

Sehun was curious, but he couldn’t ask. There was no way of knowing.

Was she still coming back?

That day when they said goodbye, he had prayed it wouldn’t be their last. He hadn’t meant for it to be like that. At the last minute it was impossible for him to selfishly claim her again. Sehun just wanted her to achieve her dreams, so he had watched her sorrowfully go. On the drive home hot tears had coursed down his face.

Come home.

Come back.

He was still waiting for her. If there was one message, he could send to her, it would be that he had stopped looking back into his life with a heavy heart. He had stopped fighting to overcome all the obstacles in his life, but accepted his shortcomings.

Sehun was ok now.

He could have no parents. He could have no siblings. He was no longer humiliated by not having what every person in front of him did. He would no longer try to meet the standards of normalcy.

He wouldn’t try to put on a mask just to be accepted. If asked, he would tell and be honest. Didn’t that make her proud of him?

He hoped she would be proud of him.

It was only she who made this possible for him. That even if she didn’t go abroad, he had always realized this. She was the source that enabled him to become stronger, happier.

He was always better with her than without.

Would she be surprised to hear he always searched for her. Scrolling through the internet for hours. Going from portal to portal. Logging into new accounts just to contact private businesses. Looking up new brand name sellers hoping to catch her name.

He constantly looked for her.

He would always look for her.

And he would be ready this time.

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“Wow,” Namjoo inaudibly gasped. Eyes locked on the display window where a mannequin posed in a wedding dress.

In the shop a cocktail dress she had designed hung on a rack. An elegant dress where gems burst in fireworks from the seams. The material produced from sleek black 60% polyester and 40% cotton. She had done a quarter of the legwork on creating it with the professional designer, a status she had yet to reach but she was still young and needed more guiding.

Someday, though, she wanted to create a wedding dress. Maybe when she was in her prime. One day.

Clinging onto her purse she continued marveling over the wedding dress. Drawn to the floral lace, the beading, the subtle shimmer, the A-line shape of the dress. It was breathtakingly beautiful. So grand and ethereal.

One day, she thought again, one day she could do it, too. Have it on a big display, so the entire world could mull over it with her. Daydreaming about it made her heart trip and roll with excitement. Right now, she was still just a newbie no one knew about, but she would work hard to reach the top.

Effort always paid off, right?

The beep of a horn made her turn around. The cab she had called for had arrived. Picking up the suitcase at her feet she dragged it toward the vehicle.

Today she was going home.

Her seven-month stay had ended. The last quarter of it she had spent traveling around the country. Sleeping at a romantic hotel in Venice. Riding the gondolas and sightseeing. Capturing memories in time with her camera. She planned to show off her spontaneous trip to Kiwan and Minjoon. Mom and dad if they were interested in what she had been up to. Kitaek and Jiae and her newborn niece she still had yet to meet.

“One day I’m going to travel the world,” she would tell them. If she was determined she would make it happen.

Inhaling she watched the city flutter past. A peace washing over her now that she was saying goodbye.

The past few nights she had slept liked a baby. Surprisingly. She thought her face glowed, because she’d been freely enjoying life. Something about being in a new place where she knew no one and no one knew her hit differently. After several weeks a breath of fresh air made everything seem so much better.

It was calming watching peoples of different ethnicities go about their daily chores. Namjoo had been interested in learning about their culture, watching the aqua coastal lines splash against stone brigades. These new details kept her occupied that the things back at home dispersed to the back of her head and somehow, she felt anew.

Thanking the driver when she arrived at the airport, she paid the fee and walked through the terminal. While waiting to board the plane Namjoo peered out the window. For a while she watched planes dock. Another takeoff and wondered where the passengers were headed. Home? Away from home?

When the announcement came on, she picked up her purse and joined the line to board the universal flight home. She searched for her reserved window seat and leaned against the window. Holding onto the seat when the plane took flight and clouds plundered the aircraft. The world below miniature boxes surrounded by a blue ocean.

Namjoo thought about the last flight she’d taken. Huddled in her seat bawling her eyes out. Taking pity on her the flight attendant offered her tissues and a glass of water. Halfway through the flight she knocked out.

Thinking about it now, Namjoo felt silly for having being so torn.

Yes, she still missed Sehun.

Yes, she thought about him from time to time.

He clung there to the back of her head like a disease. She knew he had launched a new brand. She had read on the news the last she checked. Kiwan had especially cropped the article and sent it to her through email.

“In case you haven’t seen…” her brother had written.

Why resist the yearning and make it harder on herself? Namjoo had come to accept the relationship had only direly hurt her.

She and Sehun hadn’t truly been in a good place. He had been hurt and in the process of healing when they got back together. How could he focus on himself when she was around?

She had been immature when she’d thought she was being mature. Blinding herself with her perceived intentions, but she had been wrong. So wrong.

If she loved Sehun, she should have told him from the beginning. Yet she had hesitated and been afraid. What was there to lose when she was still young? Only several more years and she would be bordering on the middle age. Who knows what tomorrow may hold?

She should have just lived in the moment instead of pondering over all the possibilities. There had been no reason to hold back. Hadn’t he always made everything better for her? Sehun had been her enlightenment.

After realizing how deep her feelings for Sehun ran, this time if she saw him again, she would ask him to dinner. No tears. They could talk, catch up, and if the invisible forces agreed, she would ask him back.

Seven months and Sehun must have gotten somewhere. If he still had not reached his destination, she would patiently wait.

Because she still loved him. Without hesitation, she would fly into his arms. Tell him she loved him. For every moment they had been together, he was her best.

Oh Sehun was her happiness.

At the pilot’s announcement that they were arriving, Namjoo put her seatbelt back on. As the plane descended, she was curious whether anyone was waiting to pick her up. The company she had worked with had posted goodbye pictures with her on the website. If Sehun had seen he’d know she was coming home today.

Maybe he was waiting to surprise her in the airport lobby.

Namjoo wouldn’t put her hopes up, but they were already instinctively shooting through her veins when she picked up her luggage and walked through the gates. A crowd of people were waiting for their loved ones. Picking up touring passengers, some students from abroad here on a program.

Scanning the heads Namjoo saw poster boards. Handmade signs with names colored in blocks. No familiar face popped out at her. Pushed forward with the crowd Namjoo still found herself searching.

She hadn’t told her family she was coming home. She would surprise them after resting. Witnessing the delight on their faces would be a joy, but today she wondered if he was here for her.

Escaping the crowd, Namjoo merged into people traffic. Slowly prodding through. Pausing to look right, left, right again and left one more time. Her eyes traced the chairs, the restaurants, the gift shops.

No Sehun.

Namjoo tried not to let disappointment press her. Honestly, she couldn’t expect much. And she shouldn’t. It wasn’t like she had penned him a letter telling him the exact time and date of her arrival.

It wasn’t his fault and it had nothing to do with him.

This was all on her.

Be a big girl she told herself. a breath Namjoo forged ahead. The automatic doors slid open for her and she walked out into a line of cabs waiting. Picking one she loaded her suitcase and gave the address to her apartment. Sinking into the backseat she shut her eyes momentarily.

She was home at last.

Opening her eyes, she noted the familiar scenery of the city. Tall towers. Picturesque blue mountains hovering in the background. Low clouds. Traffic whizzing past. A cluster of apartment buildings on the wayside. Shops and malls scattered throughout with intersecting roads at every turn. White dotted lines stretching at every corner. A metropolitan city that never rests.

Nostalgia flanked her when the cab pulled up to the curb of her apartment building. Pulling her suitcase out Namjoo watched the car speed away. The sidewalk was empty. No corner of the building for anyone to hide behind. Sehun wouldn’t be jumping out to scare her. His car was neither in the parking lot.

Pressing her lips together Namjoo inhaled. Scanning the street, the gaping driveway. Didn’t look like a car would be turning the corner.

Despite the intrusive expectation, Namjoo thought about the first time Sehun dropped her off after their first date. It was here where she’d pecked his cheek. The entire day had been dreamy. Spent with him. That was the first time she encountered his playful side. She had felt girly with him. Thinking about the sandwich she had plastered together that morning made her smile.

Memories were always the best.

Dragging her suitcase, she headed inside. Digging into her purse for the set of keys that hadn’t required usage for seven months.

Entering the elevator, she pushed the button for her floor. Planning out the rest of the day. She would unpack tomorrow. First, she’d shower. Sleep off the jetlag. Order food once she’d rested enough. Call for takeout, actually. She wouldn’t be heading out just yet and there would be no food in her fridge.

As the elevator halted on her floor, she thought about the plates Sehun had last washed for her. They would still be sitting in her dishrack. Dusty by now. Her knives would be dull. Her apartment requiring heavy duty cleaning. No one would have looked after the place for her. She would have to launder everything.

The work made her feel exhausted already and she had just gone home. Namjoo could deal with it. One thing at a time. No rush.

Pulling her suitcase, Namjoo trekked down the corridor. Passing each doorway. The familiarity of the apartment sinking. She remembered everything. How many steps it took to reach her door. She felt everything deep down to her bones.

This was what it was to be home.

Remembering everything with just touch, smell, and a sixth sense.

Then she neared and…

Someone was there by her door. Planted against the wall. A long leg angled out. Eyes strictly on the floor.

Namjoo’s head rose a slow centimeter at a time. Feeling the hallway stretch before her then her brain stopped working. The exhaustion wearing off as her heart thumped rapidly behind the barrier of her chest.

When she noticed his head lifting there was no choice but forward.

Along her left one door appeared after another. No movement, so it appeared he was waiting for her to reach first. Anxiousness trickled through her like tiny electric bolts. Her lower lip trembled when he finally shifted and their eyes connected.

The slight movement of his curling lips blew everything in her away.

Namjoo immediately dropped her suitcase and flung herself forward. Locking her arms around Sehun’s neck she hugged him tightly. His arms went around her, securely holding her to his body. Solid and real. And he smelled so good. She recognized her favorite scent.

Home.

Leaning into him she clenched her eyes shut to immerse in the moment. “I missed you.”

Pressing his face into her hair, he said, “I missed you, too.”

Breathing a joyful laugh Namjoo folded her arms tighter around him. “You waited for me.”

“I waited.”

***I don't know about you, but I like it like that ;;;;;;

***I connected the ending to the beginning (the ending of ch 1) Sehun waiting for her by her door (her office) and she makes the first move to approach him ;;; I think it's beautiful. Regardless whether they were together or apart, they always knew they needed each other ;; They found something in each other and it lasted

***So many songs fit the end for me like Jay Chou's "Mine Mine" and Apink's "Moment" and then Urban Zapaka's "That Kind of Night"; Selina Ren's "She is Beautiful" & Tank's "Your Love Song" helped throughout the story because the mood of the songs helped me build the emotions I wanted to dispel

***Thank you all for reading ;;; I'll always say this, but I love all my readers <3 You are all wonderful! I hope you enjoyed this story!