“Yoohyeon, babe, was I involved in an accident some time ago?” Jiu asked her girlfriend who was smashing buttons on the keyboard furiously while looking at the monitor that has too many changing colors.

“No, why?” Yoohyeon paused her game and looked at her girlfriend suspiciously. Jiu frowned as she recalled the bartender’s confession when she thought that she was asleep. How her hands trembled when holding hers. How her voice was so quiet and shaky to make sure she didn’t wake her up. How her name was called out with so much sadness and love that it made Jiu’s mind run in a turmoil.

“Just asking because I feel like I have amnesia,” Jiu replied as she felt like that was the most reasonable answer from the bartender’s confession. What she didn’t understand was that she would be the death of the bartender again. What did she mean? She sounded so confident that I’ll kill her and not know why. Why can’t she just tell me everything? It hurts me seeing her like this. When I found her, last night looking so broken and the way she sounded doesn’t sit right with me. She also said that we would have a conversation when she woke up but… I didn’t want to know what she would say so I left… She told me to not leave but I left anyway. I’m terrible, aren’t I? Jiu internally got her gears rolling in her mind regarding the somewhat stalkerish bartender.

“Is it that bartender again?” Yoohyeon asked Jiu, who looked up to her then nodded. “You got to stop caring about her. She’s your stalker remember. Who knows what she might do to you if you keep this up,” She groaned knowing that her girlfriend might be in danger from someone who knows so much about her?

“Something doesn’t add up though,” Jiu replied as she pondered how the bartender would claim to her but not bring her home. “If she was my stalker, why didn’t she take me home?” Jiu pondered as Yoohyeon gave her the ‘really’ look.

“Because, she didn’t want to seem creepy in your eyes. I would be creeped out if someone knew where I lived and didn’t have an ID to help them out in bringing me home. She’s a psychopath,” Yoohyeon accused the bartender to show Jiu that she is crazy for siding with the bartender.

“She didn’t give me a name though,” Jiu pouted still sad at how she knows her name, but she didn’t know hers.

“Like I said she is a psychopath. She didn’t give you a name because she doesn’t want you to write up a restraining order. She already has this effect on you which is making me wonder if you have Stockholm syndrome,” Yoohyeon shook her head at how Jiu was acting around this woman who she only met in the dark lights of the venue they frequently went to.

“I don’t have Stockholm syndrome. She didn’t keep me in her house. Quite the opposite in fact and all she ever wants from me is to stay away from her but if I do that then I think she’s going to ruin her health. You didn’t see how she looked last night,” Jiu countered, not believing how her girlfriend could act this way.

“See a plan! She may look like she’s dying without you but it’s all an act. Don’t be sympathetic over this bartender who can’t even give you the decency to say her name,” Yoohyeon spat out in disgust, making Jiu frown at her words.

“I don’t think she was faking her appearance,” Jiu shook her head as her mind flashed the bartender’s slumped figure near her apartment door. She was sleeping and the moment Jiu touched her, she knew that the bartender had a higher temperature than normal. It didn’t settle down when she took her into the apartment and tucked her into bed. She recalled back when the bartender was asleep with her arm in her embrace how the heat didn’t die down. When she got up, she placed her head on the bartenders and figured that she was running a high fever. Even when she saw the bartender take the aspirin, it didn’t go down which made her sad seeing the bartender look all sick. She didn’t know why she had such an effect on her, but she would do anything to make it stop.

“You can never tell what people are up to nowadays, Jiu Unnie,” Yoohyeon huffed, then crossed her arms not understanding how invested Jiu was with this bartender.

“I know I know but this one is different. I can feel it.” Jiu affirmed while Yoohyeon shook her head.

“Then, let me meet her,” She proposed, making Jiu look at her in shock.

“What?” Jiu asked as she was sure she was hearing things.

“You heard me. Let me meet this bartender,” Yoohyeon said as Jiu couldn’t form words from Yoohyeon’s response. “I need to know about her because clearly she is affecting your everyday life,” She explained as Jiu only nodded. “Okay, great let’s meet her now,” She continued while Jiu wondered what she just got herself into.

…

Jiu rang the doorbell to the familiar apartment she walked to at 3 in the morning. Her girlfriend was looking around the halls for some reason.

“Not a bad place for someone who makes a bartender’s salary,” Jiu could hear the judgement in Yoohyeon’s tone, and she didn’t understand what it has to do with anything. Before Jiu could say anything, the door opened to the appearance of the bartender with semi messy hair, a spoon in , a shirt that was casually thrown on and pajama pants that had Dumbo littered all over them. She watched as the bartender raised an eyebrow and took the spoon out of .

“Can I help you, Miss Kim?” Jiu stiffened at the formalities and nervously rubbed the back of her neck.

“Uhm… I came for you to meet my girlfriend?” Jiu questioned as she watched the bartender sigh while using her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose.

“What am I supposed to do with you?” She heard her grumble and it somehow made her happy knowing that she was letting her in bit by bit.

“Can we come in?” Jiu asked as she heard the bartender groan in before walking into her apartment. Jiu took that action as a yes and grabbed Yoohyeon’s hand to bring her inside. She walked into the apartment and found the bartender eating from a bowl that was still steaming.

“No introductions of first names, Miss Kim?” The bartender instructed as she scooped up some food and ate it.

“But I want to know your name,” Jiu pouted again but the bartender wasn’t looking at her.

“I know I know but my answer will always be the same,” The bartender dismissed her, and it was finally Yoohyeon who replied.

“That it’ll be safer for my girlfriend to not know your name. Why don’t you tell us why it isn’t safe for her?” Yoohyeon crossed her arms and the bartender took a look at Yoohyeon before shrugging her shoulders and resumed eating. She finished the bowl soon and placed it into the sink as she finally replied in the deafening silence.

“If you know what I know then you’ll definitely keep your distance,” The bartender didn’t address Yoohyeon’s question.

“Then tell us so we can keep our distance,” Yoohyeon tried to pry it out. The bartender gave her a sad smile.

“I won’t tell you. It’s for Miss Kim’s safety. I prioritize her health over the truth.” The bartender replied as Jiu noticed the pain in her eyes once more.

“I'm Miss Kim too. So, will it be for my safety as well,” Yoohyeon asked as the bartender shrugged her shoulders.

“Yeah sure.” She said nonchalantly that it agitated Yoohyeon more. Jiu noticed this and went to go comfort her girlfriend. The bartender only sighed before continuing. “There Miss Kim I’ve met your girlfriend. It’s time for both of you to leave,”

“I don’t want to leave though,” Jiu confessed which made both the bartender and Yoohyeon stiffen.

“Babe, what are you saying?” Yoohyeon tugged on the sleeve of Jiu’s shirt hoping that she could ground her back to reality. Jiu turned to look at Yoohyeon in the eyes.

“Can’t you see that she is sick?” Jiu asked as she noticed that the bartender’s breakfast was congee and there was orange juice sitting on her kitchen table.

“Yeah, sick in the head. She has you dancing on her palm. She is a psychopath that can and will do who knows what to you,” Yoohyeon answered as she desperately wanted to get Jiu away from the bartender who had this bad feeling around her. “We should leave while we have the chance,” Yoohyeon suggested but her tone of voice didn’t really sound like it.

“You should listen to her,” Jiu and Yoohyeon looked at the bartender who was looking at them so uninterested, but Jiu knew better. “You guys should leave before anything permanent settles in.” She suggested while gesturing to them to leave out the way they came.

“And I said I’m not leaving,” Jiu huffed and pouted while pulling Yoohyeon’s hand off her sleeve. “If my girlfriend wants to leave then she can but I’m staying by your side. I bet you are still running a fever from last night and sick people shouldn’t be out of their beds.” Jiu started lecturing as Yoohyeon looked at her with disbelief. The bartender only sighed as she grabbed her glass and started walking to her room.

“I’m going back to bed so you two,” She pointed at the supposed couple. “Leave my apartment,” She entered her room and Jiu watched the bartender enter her bed before looking at her girlfriend.

“What is your problem?” Jiu asked as she couldn’t believe the jealousy that was emitting from her. “She didn’t do anything wrong and you are treating her like a criminal.” She hissed at her as she never seen Yoohyeon like this at all.

“What is my problem?” Yoohyeon scoffed in disbelief. “I should be asking you the same thing. You are defending this woman as if she hasn’t done anything wrong,” Yoohyeon replied back and Jiu didn’t want to have this fight anymore, so she started pushing her out of the apartment. Successfully Jiu actually got her girlfriend out the door and locked the doors. She leaned against the door and wondered what she had just done.

“I swear I must be going crazy,” Jiu said to herself as she had no clue what was happening anymore. Jiu massaged her temples as she walked back into the apartment. She wanted to get her mind off anything as she plopped herself on the couch.

That was where she found papers scattered all over the coffee table. Some were neatly folded; others were crumbled up and most of them were in the trash can, but all papers had writing on them. Jiu was intrigued how the bartender kept all the papers messy given how the first time she was in her home it was so clean. So, she started cleaning the papers until something caught her eye. A simple writing that reminded her of the bartender.

Always and forever. That’s what I always said to you whenever you were scared or needed comfort from anything. Always to be by your side. Always be the one who would never hurt you. Always keep loving you Jiu and forever keep the love you gave back with me. That promise of forever still goes on as I keep loving you no matter where or what you have done. To you who was the one who has been by my side no matter what. I will always love you even if that means I’m no longer in the picture.

I’ve spent too long without your kisses, touch, hugs, sweet words and just you in general. I can handle the pain with the void of your presence. I can take the hollow numb feeling that is always there whenever this present you are kissing up your girlfriend. I think I can finally move on from knowing that you were mine. I don’t think I have it in me to try and fight for you in this life. I had you once and I ruined you. So, I need to make sure that the one I see right now doesn’t stay with me.

I need to make sure that she stays away from me. I caused her life to be so different than what she has worked for. I’m a home wrecker even though I haven’t kissed nor slept with her. Yet, she keeps on coming back to me. I don’t want to make her a cheater, Jiu. You know I don’t want you to go through that. I just… I just want to protect her from the dark and not interfere with her life.

I’m getting so tired, love. I can’t sleep at night because I see you behind my eyelids and how you died. I remember getting a phone call from you. How breathless you sounded. How each breath you took was getting shallower and shallower. You kept telling me that you loved me over and over again. I just listened trying to keep you awake but it didn’t work. Why did you leave me? Why did you have to love me? Why did you keep me in your life? I don’t understand why, Jiu.

I know that I love you back and should have treated you like the princess you love to claim to be. Well… pink princess which you made a comment that if my favorite color is red then yours is pink. Be the lighter color to be as close to your loved one as possible. I found it so odd because you never knew my favorite color was red when we met. You found out as we were getting to know each other from our food splurge dates. Somehow you just knew we were meant to be.

Anyways, I’ll write to you next time. Not that you’ll be getting these letters anyways. From your dearest love from the past.

Jiu frowned how it didn’t say the bartender’s name once more, but it was clearly about her. She didn’t know what was going on, but she had to find out, so she started sifting through the letters.

I should have apologized to you sooner, Jiu. If I did you wouldn’t have died.

…

I know you hated me being jealous over anyone who was a potential threat, but I feared you were going to leave me. Have you seen yourself? You are the example of perfection in my eyes. You can have anyone, and you chose me which I am forever grateful for because all the times I’ve been with you have been my happiest.

…

I remember seeing this world’s Jiu walk into my place of work. My heart thumped and the feelings came crashing down. I thought of going over to you and having a conversation until you girlfriend pulled you by the collar and claimed your lips. That’s when I knew I didn’t have the chance.

…

Do you know how much I miss you saying my name? How naturally it falls from your lips? I want to hear it every day no matter what happens in our life. Be it happy, sad, passion, remorse, dreaming or any situation. But I can’t wish for this. It’s for the best for both of us. If I tell her my name, then that means she’ll be replacing you Jiu. I don’t need a replacement; I just want you back. But she also looks and acts like you. It's hard to not call her your name or her nickname or any term of endearment that I tease you about.

…

So many letters have been read and still Jiu didn’t know her name. She did learn a lot about the bartender’s feelings and pain. Though even after learning about all of this she still didn’t find her creepy.

“..iu” Jiu’s body stiffened from the sudden intrusion of her thoughts until she heard it again. “Jiu, where are you?” She heard the bartender cry out and she rushed into her bedroom immediately, all letters forgotten. “Jiu?” She heard a whine and a hand shot up to reach for something in the air. “Don’t leave me, Jiu. Please I don’t know what to do without you.” She confessed and somehow it made Jiu’s heart ache.

“I’m here, Queen,” Jiu comforted as she remembered one of the terms in the bartender’s letter. She grabbed the hand that was searching in the air and held onto it tightly noticing that it was cold and sweaty.

“You’re here? You’re not leaving me again?” She asked innocently and Jiu knew that she was right when she was sick.

“Of course. I’m never leaving you again,” Jiu brushed the soaking wet hair away from her forehead. She frowned at how the bartender let her ruin her health like this.

“Jiu?” The bartender asked as her grip tightened in Jiu’s.

“Queen,” Jiu replied as she hoped that being by the bartender’s side would make her sickness go away.

“I love you,” The bartender said softly, and Jiu didn't know how to respond to it until the bartender continued. “Thank you, Jiu,” The grip softened enough to drop from Jiu’s grasp and then she panicked.

“Miss Kim?” Jiu called out but nothing came. “Miss Kim!” Her mind started racing as she ran to find a phone before calling for an ambulance. She waited for the ride to come which was too slow for her comfort as she kneeled by the bartender’s side hoping that she was alright. She waited and waited until finally the paramedics came.

“Hello, do you know her name?” One of them asked Jiu who wanted to know the full details.

“I-I don’t know her name,” Jiu answered as she watched the paramedics do all sorts of tests on her.

“You don’t know her name?” The paramedic frowned but just inputted her name as Jane Doe. Jiu shook her head at how she doesn’t know anything about the bartender.

“I don’t. She told me that her last name was Kim though does that work?” Jiu responded while the paramedic only shook their head.

“Do you know how many Kim’s live here?” The paramedic responded until the partner responded.

“I got her ID,” Making the paramedic nod as they loaded the bartender up onto the gurney.

“Good. We’ll input the information on the way to the hospital.” Jiu started following the paramedics to their vehicle as she didn’t want to leave her side.

“Can I come with you?” Jiu asked as they were loading her body into the vehicle and they didn’t want to waste any more time, so they let her in. Jiu held the bartender’s hand hoping that she would be alright.

“What is your relationship with her?” The paramedic asked as they were checking her vitals.

“She saved me and now it’s my turn to save her,” Jiu responded not looking away from the pain stricken look on the bartender’s face.

“Do you know if she had any symptoms before leading to her loss of consciousness?”

“She was asleep in front of her apartment last night does that mean anything?” Jiu answered as the paramedic nodded. “Do you think I can know her name?” Jiu asked as she really wanted to know her name even after all this time.

“Of course, it’s Kim-”