Hyukjae didn't know what to do or what to say. He remained frozen while Donghae's smile slowly started to falter. 

"Hyuk? Hyukkie, are you okay?" Donghae waved a hand in front of Hyukjae but the latter remained frozen. "Yah, I know it's cold but it's not that cold."

Hyukjae was snapped out of it when he felt Donghae placing his own jacket over his shoulders. He looked at the jacket placed over him then back to Donghae. There was no reason for it but in his eyes, right here and right now, Donghae looked more and more like prince charming which in turn made him feel more inadequate to be with him. 

"Hae, I think you should really go back now."

Donghae frowned thinking that Hyukjae was completely disregarding what he just said to him. 

"Didn't you hear what I said?""

"No, I-I did." Hyukjae blushed but hid it well by using Donghae's jacket to cover up his face. 

"And?" Donghae inquired further. 

"Aaand, I think you should go back to prom." Hyukjae turned away from Donghae again and blew hot air into his hand. He completely missed the look of hurt on Donghae's face but only because he was hiding his own away from him. 

"Yah, Lee Hyukjae, are you serious right now?" Hyukjae didn't have to turn to know how upset the latter was. "Yah! Turn around and look at me."

Hyukjae sighed and mentally prepared himself in order to not wave to Donghae's pout right now. There was just no way that what Donghae felt for him was true. Donghae could do better. A lot better than him and he wouldn't -- no, couldn't stand in his way. 

"I tell you 'I like you' and you tell me to go back to prom?" Donghae asked incredilously. "If you're going to reject me, at least reject me properly!" Donghae knows that he probably sounds like a child right now but he didn't care. He was ready to pour his heart out to the person he's been pining for for a long time and he wasn't even taking him seriously. "You could at least say, 'Sorry, Donghae-ah. I don't like you.' or even 'I don't think of you that way. Don't ever talk to me again.'"

"Hae, it's not like that-" Hyukjae tried to say but he knows once Donghae gets started with his rants there was no stopping him. 

"Do you even know how long I waited to confess to you? I had a whole speech prepared at the dance! Heechul hyung even said that there was no way you were going to reject me because you go all jelly and give goo-goo eyes when I play basketball-" Hyukjae blushed at the comment and made another attempt to interrupt Donghae which was futile effort. "I thought I've been transparent all this time but I guess not. I can't believe I'm getting rejected right now. I- I really thought you felt the same way. I-"

"LEE DONGHAE!" Hyukjae finally burst. He grabbed Donghae's shoulders, effectively stopping his pacing, and looked him straight in the eyes. "Listen to me. I am not rejecting you."

"Y-You're not?"

"No," Hyukjae confirmed. Then, he faltered a little as he let him go, "But...But I also can't accept it."

Donghae was confused. "Wh-Why not?"

"Because, Hae. You deserve better." Hyukjae explained as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Ever since I've known you, even the people around you, they all know your goal in life is to be like your father. To be like the father he was."

"No, you're wrong." Donghae immediately denied. Hyukjae's never seen him that serious before but he does know the subject of Donghae's father has always been a touchy subject. "That's not what my dream is at all."

"Donghae, please. Don't make-"

"I do want to be like my father," Donghae said cutting off whatever Hyukjae was going to protest about. "I want to be like the man he was. I want to be someone who can bring happiness to others. To make a difference. I want to be like him in a sense that he lived his life fully everyday and even though he died young, he was still able to say that he had no regrets." Donghae then looked at Hyukjae's hand and took it upon his. In a softer tone he continued, "I want to be like him. Someone who was able to wake up everyday for 15 years next to the person he knew he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with."

Hyukjae was speechless. If that was not the speech Donghae had prepared for him, then only god knows how he would react to something that the latter had actually prepared for. Hyukjae watched Donghae raise his head up and the hint of tears b in his eyes to show the sincerity of his words and feelings told him everything he needed to know. 

"Hyuk, I'm not asking you to spend the rest of your life with me right now," Donghae paused to clear his throat. He was never good at controlling his feeling. Specially something as intense as he feels towards Hyukjae. "All...All I'm asking right now is for you to give me a chance. I- Maybe...Maybe I don't make you happy the way you make me happy, but I-I would like to try, at least?"

Hyukjae's never seen Donghae so confident and so self-conscious at the same time. He didn't even know mixture of those two were possible. However, he also could not deny that he's been tainted. Donghae was so pure and so innocent -- there was no way he could damage that.

Hyukjae looked down sadly knowing that he's been selfish for long enough. 

"Hae, I can't." Hyukjae said softly. "It's not you. I know it's cliche but it's really really not you." Hyukjae sniffled as tears dropped down his face and he mentally cursed himself for breaking down. "I wish I had met you first. I wish that I had waited until I met you. It's not fair because I want you. I really do, but I can't. I'm not right for you."

Donghae was confused. He doesn't understand what Hyukjae was telling him. "Hyukkie, I-I don't understand why you're being so hard on yourself. There's no reason for you to say that."

Hyukjae started to shake as he finally faces the truth. He pulled away from Donghae and hugged himself. There was no going back