“How was the blind date?” She’s right at the door hounding you the second you arrive home. “Was she pretty? Did you eat something tasty? Do you like her?” 

You can’t help but laugh, light and hearty, smiling at her. Her face tells a story of distress, and for the moment, you enjoy it. 

“It was great,” you say, and you watch her bite her lip. “And I did eat something tasty.” This second part is less of a lie. You got to eat jjamppong at Dong Hoon and Go Eun’s house earlier. It was delicious, but you couldn’t help but feel that the noodles would have tasted better if Ji Hyo had been there too. It’s almost upsetting, really, knowing that every meal will taste all that much blander when she isn’t around.

“Right.” She clasps her hands together. “The girl was so boring that your only saving grace was the tasty food. Okay, I get it. Better luck next time.” 

“I never said she was boring, or that I wouldn’t see her again,” you say, and Ji Hyo falters. 

“Great. That’s just great.” She shifts from side to side. “So... you’re going to go and see her again? Be her boyfriend? Marry her?” 

“I never said that either,” you say, because while you can tell the idea of you seeing someone else makes her anxious, you don’t want to send the message that the two of you are no longer an option. 

“Could...” she trails off, then decides against what she was saying. 

“What do you want to say?” 

She looks up hopefully. “Could you not see her anymore? And could you not go on dates with anyone else from now on?” 

Perhaps Ha Dong Hoon is a genius. You’re getting there, you think, she’s about to say something that will change your life, you think. 

“Why?” You ask her simply. 

“I...” she chokes on the word, then does something stranger. Her eyes slowly swell with tears, and the moment you see this is the moment you realize you ed up, big time. 

You wrap her in your arms the second tears start to fall, and you are full of remorse, apologizing over and over as she mumbles incomprehensible things into your chest. 

“Please don’t leave me,” she sniffles, pushing away from the hug to plead this, looking at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen on her. It pains you. 

“I’m not going to leave you,” you say, before kissing the top of her head. Somehow, it feels like the right thing to do. “This is all my fault, so I suppose I should come clean now. I wasn’t on a blind date.” You look at her sincerely. “Understand? So you don’t have to be upset.” 

The words take a moment to process, but she is incredibly on edge once she gets it. She backs away from you, rubbing her wet cheek. 

“You… weren’t on a blind date?” she asks hesitantly to confirm.

“No.”

“Then why would you say you were!” She yells, shoving you in the chest. 

“I didn’t know either!” You desperately try to explain, sensing that this is going to make her hate you more. But better she hates you than she cries in pain over you. “Dong Hoon tricked me. It was… all to get me to go to his house to tackle some business matters.”

You don’t tell her the entire truth about Dong Hoon’s intentions. He has three kids and it would probably be beneficial if he didn’t have an entire Song Ji Hyo directing her anger at him. 

“So?” Her sorrowful tears are drying up and turning into anger. “You could’ve called me the second you found out. You could’ve told me when you got home. Why play along? Do you have any idea how painful it was?”

“And why is it so painful? Why is it so bad that I lied? Am I that cruel... for wanting to know your feelings for me?”

She scoffs at you in disdain. “You want to know what I’m feeling? I feel lied to, tricked, manipulated. I feel like I hate you, and I want to leave!”

She starts walking away, and before this moment you always thought you would let her walk. You have been mentally preparing for this moment, possibly since the moment she got here. There was every chance she would leave and move on with her life, and the little cozy bubble you two floated in all this time would pop, but you would have to let it. You would have to let her go, because hell as it might be, it is not your choice whether she leaves or stays. 

But something stirs in you. Something about the way she takes each step away doesn’t sit right, and you find yourself going after her. You grab her, you pull her around, and she’s looking at you. 

“I’m sorry,” you say. “I know, everything I did was wrong. It was despicable to play with your heart like that. You hate me, you have every right to hate me. And I know… you don’t love me anymore, but is it possible for you to try again?” You give a weak nervous laugh. There are tears in your eyes that match hers. “We could be so good together. I know I messed up in the past and I don’t deserve a second chance, but this is me, begging you. I want you. I want to love you, I want to be loved by you. There’s no one else.”

She’s just staring at you for a while, her elbows in your hands, holding her close. She tilts her head ever so slightly at you. 

“You idiot,” she finally says, a sarcastic chuckle coming out . “Of course I love you. How do you not know that?”

You respond to this foolishly. You don’t really know any other way. This whole time... your thoughts on her feelings were always a jumbled up mess. Of course she loves you, but of course she hates you too, and so therefore, does she really love you? It was so confusing to think about, none of it made any sense. But now she’s saying something you’ve desperately yearned for. “You said that you hated me.” 

“And why do you think I hate you?” She shakes her head with a disbelieving laugh. “It’s because I love you and I... can’t stop.” 

“What?” 

“I wanted to. Trust me, I wanted to with all my heart. My plan was to come here and get over you. Choosing to live in your house was a stupid way to do that, I know. But I thought seeing you in your natural element... I thought I would see something that turned me off well enough to be done with you. I prayed you would do something that annoyed me so much I’d stop. I wanted to stop. I wanted to look at you and not feel like my entire soul could get lost in your eyes. But it is. And I am. In love with you, that is.” 

You’re not sure whether you’re still crying, but you definitely feel like more tears might be on their way. “You should’ve said something,” you tell her. “I suffered for so long hiding my feelings from you. I know that night was the start of a bad period of time in your life, but telling you I was in love... it hurt less.”

“I didn’t want to feel like I was expected to be in a relationship with you,” she explains. She shrugs. “Is that selfish? I don’t know. But I didn’t want to feel like I owed you a relationship just because your words got me out of a loveless one. I never quite got over your rejection, you know,” she laughs sadly, then sighs. “I was pretty sure I was over you, but I wasn’t over the agony of the past. But also I remembered what loving you felt like. That’s why I decided I couldn’t be with him. But I thought that’s all it was. A reminder. I thought your confession wouldn’t awaken anything in me. That it was just a wake up call, a reminder of what I could have. I didn’t expect to fall again, drowning in you, just like back then. But it happened almo