Happy Anniversary (MiChaeng)
Just for Kicks | Random Twice One-ShotsAN: Here is another early fanfic I wrote for MiChaeng back in 2018. Originally I published it as a separate story on here, but I decided to move it to my one-shot/drabble compilation to keep everything neat and organized - the same thing I did with The Warmth of Winter. This one hasn't been edited though so this is the original draft that I posted almost 5 years ago. Crazy to think how much my writing style has changed within that time frame - but also hasn't haha.
Premise: Mina still misses Chaeyoung even after several years have passed
The image is grainy and unfocused. In black and white, a young Chaeyoung stares off from the camera, eyes fixated on something else.
She smiles. A genuine smile, the one with her deepened dimple.
“C’mon, just say it,” a voice says from the background. Chaeyoung laughs and shakes her head. This is too embarrassing. “You’re the one who wanted to do it. Look at the camera.”
Chaeyoung rolls her eyes. But the entire time the smile never leaves her face.
Finally, she stares directly at the camera and our eyes meet.
The screen cuts to black and I can hear her laugh again.
Happy Anniversary, Minari. I love you.
I watch the clip over and over again. I had forgotten about it. How many years has it been since she filmed this?
I wonder if she still smiles like that.
It would have been our eighth anniversary today since we met. I once thought that if we weren’t together, time would stop, and it was only when we were able to be with each other that it could move on.
But time went on. As did I.
I remember when we first met, it was at a dance recital. Your dance recital. You were on tour with your company, and our town was your last stop.
It was raining that day; not too heavy that there were thunderstorms, but it was much more than just a light fall. Spring had been around for a while so the temperatures were warm and everything was in bloom.
I remember meeting you backstage right after the show ended. You were polite, humble, and really sweet. To be honest, I was nervous to meet you. (Laughs) I admired your musicality and care for each stage you performed. Never have I seen someone so graceful, someone so elegant. Someone with so much heart and soul.
I can’t remember exactly how our first conversation went, but I know that I was smiling the entire time.
“Hey babe, is Yuriko here?” Momo walks into the room looking around for our daughter.
“I put her down for a nap,” I reply.
“Oh.”
“When she wakes up, I’m sure she would love to spend time with you. We’ve missed you around here.”
Momo shoots me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. Stuff at work has been hectic.”
I dare not meet her gaze.
“You know . . . it would be much easier if we moved back to Japan, then I wouldn’t have to travel so much.”
“I suppose,” I sigh. But we both know that I don’t want to leave. We’ve already lived in Korea for so long, this is our home now.
“What are you watching?”
“A video Chaeyoung made for me a few years ago. It was an anniversary present.”
“I see.” Momo’s voice sounds clipped.
“Honey, it’s just a video. We’ve been through this before.”
“I know, I know. It’s just hard sometimes, seeing the person you are so madly in love with loving someone else.”
“I still love you.”
Momo smiles, but not a genuine one like Chaeyoung’s smile in the video. This smile is somber, empty.
“I love you too.”
Our first date . . . was it a date? Even to this day, I’m not entirely sure.
You completed your tour and you came back to our town to mentor upcoming talented young dancers, and we ran into each other briefly at an art reception. You asked me to get coffee with you one afternoon, right?
I didn’t think much of it at the time – wow, looking back on it, I was pretty dense. Sorry about that. You told me later that ever since we first met at the recital, you wanted to ask me out. I probably did something really intelligent like make incoherent sounds while staring at you, dumbstruck. (Laughs)
But if I’m going to be honest here, I was enamored with you too. There was something so compelling about you that I wanted to know more – what did you think about? What did you do in your free time? What had been your favorite place to travel to? Favorite restaurants? Had you always aspired to be a dancer? Thoughts on anything and everything.
We talked for hours.
I was so happy when we decided we would see each other again.
“Isn’t today your eighth anniversary with Chaeyoung?”
Sana likes to think she is nonchalant, but I doubt that subtle is in her vocabulary. She and Dahyun are visiting us for dinner. She came into the kitchen to help wash the dishes, stealing glances at me every now and then.
“Yes. What of it?”
She shrugs. “You seem sad.”
“Well, I’m not. And I have no reason to be sad.”
Sana holds her hands up in defense. “Whoa, I’m only commenting on what I see. No need to snap my head off.” Her brown eyes study me closely and then she sighs. “Mina, it’s okay to miss her. You two were close, there’s nothing wrong if that connection is still there.”
Sometimes my best friend can be so annoying.
“Do you feel like this towards any of your exes?”
“I wasn’t close to them as much as you were to Chaeyoung.”
“Sure.”
Sana opens , ready to snap a snarky retort I’m sure, but she just shakes her head instead. “Fine, you can keep playing this push-and-pull game with yourself, but you’re going to keep running around in circles until you can actually confront your feelings.”
“Thanks for the advice,” I reply, haughtily. Sana scoffs and places the last dish in the drying rack. She leaves the kitchen, shaking her head again in disappointment.
We’ve been through a lot, both emotionally and physically.
I was a bit hesitant if we could actually work out because . . . well, you’ve seen my life, it’s a mess. On top of that, it hasn’t always been easy for you here in Korea. There’s been quite some challenges, haven’t there? (Pauses)
Ah, Mina-unnie, you’ve had to endure so much. Sometimes it’s hard to see if anything is getting better too. But I wish you only the best . . . and . . . this will sound super cheesy, but I hope there are many bright days to come your way. Bright days we can spend together! (Laughs)
Don’t worry, I will always be here for you, no matter what.
I am crying. I notice the tears, but do not bother to wipe them away as they continue to fall. There is no one at home right now. Momo took Yuriko out for a stroll, and here I am crying over an old video.
Sana was right. The push-and-pull within me, it’s an endless cycle.
Nayeon-unnie once asked me if I knew my definition of love.
Jeongyeon-unnie once told me that it is okay if I still loved.
Jihyo once advised me to not challenge love.
And Tzuyu . . . Tzuyu cares so much for her friend, she threatened to not push the love anymore. She didn’t want to see Chaeyoung keep living in pain. She didn’t want me to be the cause of her pain.
This was so embarrassing, I am cringing on the inside. I bet this video will turn out super awkward. Listen though, I mean every single word I say. Ahhh. (Giggles) Here’s to us.
My phone is in my hand with Chaeyoung’s contact information on the screen. I bite my lip, unsure if I should follow through.
“Hello?” Her voice sounds tired like she just got up from a nap.
“Chaeng,” I say, almost in a whisper.
“Ah, Mina-unnie. Can I help you with something?”
“No . . . I just . . . I wanted to hear your voice.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Today would’ve been our eighth anniversary.” As soon as I say that, I want to slap myself.
She doesn’t answer right away. “Yeah. It would’ve been.” There is a trace of anguish, something she can’t completely hide. “Time flies by, doesn’t it?”
“Y-yeah.” Silence. “Chaengie, I miss you. I watched the video you made for me again – the one from our third anniversary.”
Chaeyoung sighs. “Mina-unnie, I understand where you are coming from, but . . . is this something we really should be doing? We’ve both moved forward with our lives.”
“I’ve realized that. And I know that it’s not right . . . I still love you though. I never have stopped loving you.”
Pause. “I know,” she says quietly.
You do?
“Look unnie, if there really isn’t something you need . . .”
“Wait, but if you knew that I still love you . . .” Do you still love me?
“Of course, I still love you, Mina-unnie.” The weariness in her voice grows heavier with each word. She is getting farther and farther away.
I am sorry I left you. I was scared of us. For us. And I know this was all my fault, but I wasn’t sure how to love or if I was giving enough love and so I ran. I was lonely. I was empty. I was worthless. Maybe I was young and naïve - not to fall in love - but too young and naïve to not push through it when it got difficult. Had I more patience and perseverance, where would we be today?
We are here with the decisions we both made. And in five, ten, twenty years from now, we will still be living with those decisions, even if we try to unravel them. We cannot change what happened in the past; we cannot go back to what we once had or who we once were. We may still love each other, but . . . sometimes the timing just isn’t right. Our chapter together ended long ago.
Chaeyoung, I -
Mina-unnie, we have to stop this. I’m sorry, but this is it.
Good-bye, Minari. I wish only the best for you.
The phone line clicks.
I love you, always. Happy Anniversary.
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