Hot breaths hitting the cold window, merging with it. Making the views hazier as thin fog covering the small part of the transparent barrier. Tiny hands touching the chilly surface, didn’t mind the prickling feels of ice from the glass that contacted her warm, tiny palms. Round, small eyes wandering as they looked at the view in front of her with such a fascination.

White covering every colour you could ever find outside. The green of the field, the grey of the pavement, the blue of the trash bin. It’s all covered in a white layer full of cold and wetness. Full of happiness and fun one could ever imagine to do with it.

And all she wanted is to feel those cold sipping through her little fingers. Piercing through her soft skin as those pieces of snowmelt softly within the grasp of her clothed palm from the body heat that she emanates. Feeling the drop of ice touching her bangs softly, like a fallen leaf in the middle of autumn.

She just wants to enjoy the snow like how a kid should be.

“Seungwan?”

Little Seungwan whipped her head off to the left, finding her mother standing in the middle of the living room, looking slightly worried as she tried to find her. “I’m here, Mom!”

Her mom looked to where the source of the voice is, releasing a relieved sigh as she noticed her one and only daughter currently kneeling in front of the window. Looking at the scenery beyond the transparent wall. “What are you doing here, baby?”

“Look, Mom! Look!” exclaimed Seungwan excitedly, pointing her small forefinger to the outside world. “It’s so beautiful there! Can I play outside?”

Her mom looked to where she pointed out with worry inside her gaze. It’s a playground, filled with a bunch of kids with a variety of ages and sizes. “Seungwan, it’s cold outside. And it’s so slippery. What if you-“

“I will be careful, Mom! I will wear the thickest jacket I have so I won’t be cold! I will even wear grandma’s gloves! Please, Mom,” begged Seungwan as her face made a pleading expression, trying to make her mom let her play outside.

Her mom bit her lips, contemplating the risk of her little daughter playing outside. But, the pleading face Seungwan currently wears is too powerful, making her guards lower unexpectedly. Her mom flashed her a small smile. “Okay, sweety, you can play outside-“

“Yay!” cheered Seungwan happily. Her tiny feet jumped around excitedly. She can’t wait to bury her boots inside the pile of snow later.

“But!” her mother’s voice stopped her excited jump. Her wide eyes looking at the beautiful woman with questions softly brewing inside the brown orbs. “You will wear things I give to you. And, come home once the small arrow in the clock at the park reaches number six. Do we have a deal?”

Seungwan bobbed her head quickly, feeling too excited to object to everything that her mom just said to her. She grabbed her bigger hand with her little one as they sauntered towards her room to dress her with proper clothing.

Her mom crouched down as she fixed her wool, knitted hat that her grandma made for her in front of the door. “Be a good kid, okay? And don’t be mean to others. Remember what Mommy said earlier. Come back home when the arrow pointed at 6. Okay?”

Seungwan nodded gleefully at her mom’s words. Her mom let out a soft chuckle as she leaned forward, planted a warm kiss on top of her daughter’s forehead. She stood up, finally opening the door so Seungwan could go outside. “Yay!” cheered Seungwan happily as she immediately skipped her tiny feet once the door had opened.

“Hope you have fun!”

“Goodbye, Mommy!” bids little Seungwan cheekily, flashed her wide grin towards her mother before running as fast as she can towards the playground.

The playground was filled with a bunch of kids. Some of them are the same age as her, some of them are not. Her wide, curious eyes trying to spot someone that quite familiar for her in the playground. A particular tall boy that always loves to mess with her in a playful way. She knows that he must be playing outside around here.

Her eyes suddenly got covered with wet gloves. She can hear several giggles coming out from someone’s with a familiar voice on her back. “Guess who!”

“Chanyeol!”

Chanyeol laughed as he lowered his palms, uncovered her eyes. Once the small girl turns around, he quickly engulfs her in a big, warm hug. “Seungwan-ah, you came!”

“Of course I am!” laughed Seungwan. “Are the others here too?”

Chanyeol nodded with excitement. “The others have gathered near the slides. We only waited for you, you know?”

“I’m sorry,” pouted Seungwan sadly. “I need to ask my mom first before I was allowed to play outside with you guys.”

“It’s okay! At least you are here now!” reassured Chanyeol with his famous wide grin. “Let’s go, Seungwan. The battle is about to start!”

Seungwan frowned, but happily followed Chanyeol with her tiny and fast steps. “What battle?”

“The snowball wars! Let’s go!”

The snowball wars consist of ten people divided into two groups. Seungwan, being the closest with Chanyeol only, joined his team that also consisted of Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Minseok. While the other team consisted of the rest of the tiny gang of friends that Chanyeol too. Junmyeon, Sehun, Jongin, Kyungsoo, and Yixing.

“Ready? Battle!”

It was fun, really. Seungwan enjoyed her first battle of her snowball war. Her first throw almost landed on Jongin’s face, but the boy’s quick reflex can easily dodge her throw. And her small body is completely covered with the fort that Chanyeol and Baekhyun had made earlier, making the enemies can’t land a perfect throw into her.

She was giggling loudly at the sight of Jongdae’s throwing perfectly landed themselves at Junmyeon’s face, when she caught a glimpse of someone crouching beside the bush. Seungwan stopped her giggling, looking at the little girl who played with a tiny pile of snow using the stick coming from the branches. Playing alone with herself.

Seungwan frowned. All the kids in her area have friends. At least, that’s what she knows and sees everyday when she comes to the playground. So the sight of a lonely kid playing alone is completely foreign for her little mind to fathom.

“Seungwan!”

Chanyeol’s warning came too late as she felt the throw of the snowball landed perfectly on the side of her knitted head. Making her hair suddenly become a mix of heat and cold.

“We got her!” cheered Sehun happily as he did a high five with excited Jongin.

“Seungwan-ah? Are you okay?” asked Chanyeol worriedly, afraid if the throw did something to the little girl. Seungwan is younger than her by one year, so it’s totally normal for him to be overprotective with the little girl that has played with him ever since she was born.

“Chanyeol-ah,” muttered Seungwan softly as she pointed at the lone, crouching little girl. “Do you know who she is?”

Chanyeol frowned as she followed her pointed finger, finding the same girl that has been staying beside the bush ever since his gang came to the playground. “I don’t know, but she has been there ever since we arrived here.”

Seungwan wrinkled her forehead, contended with his answer. “Why don’t you ask her to play together?”

Chanyeol easily shrugged. “She looked scary. I don’t like her.”

The frown on her forehead got deeper. “That’s rude, Chanyeol.”

“Well, maybe if you can ask her to play with us, I will change my mind.”

Seungwan blinked as her mind thought about the offer. Chanyeol was about to ask her to join another game as Seungwan walked towards the lonely girl. She ignored all the protest exclamations, including from Baekhyun (“It’s not fair! There’s 5 of you in there and there’s only 4 of us!”) as she reached the tiny girl.

She doesn’t know why, but Seungwan can’t take her eyes off of her. Maybe it’s because she was alone and looked like she needed company and a friend. And Seungwan, being the kind hearted girl that she is, can’t stand the thought of the girl playing alone.

“Hey!” greeted Seungwan cheerfully to the girl once she arrived beside her.

The girl only looked at her with her doe eyes, before turning it down once again. Focusing her gaze once more to the pile of snow she is currently playing with the help of the stick.

Seungwan doesn’t give up. She crouched beside the girl as she also looked at the pile of snow. “What are you doing?”

The girl still doesn’t want to answer her question. She deepens her face to be buried inside her purple scarf that was protecting her neck from the cold.

Seungwan still doesn’t want to give up. “Why are you playing alone here?”

“I didn’t have any friends,” mumbled the girl softly, almost didn’t able to be caught by Seungwan’s sensitive pair of ears.

Seungwan grinned. “Are you new here?”

The girl blinked her, before nodding her head slightly. Answering her question.

The grin on Seungwan’s face grew wider. “Want to play with me? We are currently having a snowball war there with the boys!”

The girl looked at the place where Seungwan pointed her finger to. Looking at a bunch of boys who were throwing balls of snow quite dangerously in her eyes, making her nose scrunched in displeased. “I don’t want to get hurt.”

“Then we can play something else!” exclaimed Seungwan, happy that the girl wanted to play with her. Or at least, her tiny mind assumed like that. “Let’s play on the slides there! It’s quite fun!”

“Do you want to build a snowman?”

Seungwan blinked her eyes at the question. “You want me to build a snowman together with you?”

The girl nodded shyly as she flashed her a tiny smile. “If you want to.”

“I would love to!” grinned Seungwan. “Let’s build a snowman together!”

The girl's smile grew wider as she stepped aside, making a room for Seungwan so they could build a snowman together with the pile of snow beside the bush.

“I’m Seungwan! What about you?”

“I’m Joohyun. Nice to meet you, Seungwan.”

“Nice to meet you too, Joohyun. Now, let’s build a snowman!”

---

The dark brown eyes revealed themselves as the eyelids finally opened. The empty gaze that she threw to the ceilings above her bedroom marking another day of her to try to survive.

That damned dream showed up in her sleep once again. Her first meeting with her deceased wife.

Seungwan looked to the other side of the bed, finding the empty place that has not been slept by someone ever since Joohyun left this world two years ago. Bring along parts of her that could never be given back as long as she wasn’t beside her. Holding her like she used to be held.

Seungwan sighed tiredly as she sat herself on top of the bed, still looking at the empty side of the bed. “Good morning, Joohyun,” muttered her softly.

She can hear the imaginary reply that she used to receive from Joohyun. She will greet her back with the same words as a smile grazing her lips. Sometimes they decided to connect their lips with one another, waking up themselves with the help of a sweet kiss. Nudging the tip of their noses softly before one of them goes to the kitchen to make their breakfast.

Something that Seungwan will never experience anymore.

With heavy strides, she left the bedroom filled with memories of Joohyun towards the kitchen. Trying to find something edible that could fill her stomach that morning. She doesn’t feel like cooking at all that day.

She doesn’t feel like cooking at all every day if she was being honest with herself, knowing someone’s special will never accompany her again with every warm meal that she makes. Making dumb remarks and talking about something unimportant. Cheering up the dining table with their lovely chatter.

The dining table looks empty now. Lost its warm light as the half owner of it never came back to sit at her usual chair for more than two years.

Seungwan poured herself a cereal and a milk, a humble breakfast for helping her to survive the day. Or at least trying to. She didn’t bother to eat at the dining table as she put the bowl on top of the kitchen counter. Refusing to look at the empty table that is usually filled with laughter and happiness.

Now it’s only filled with longing and loneliness.

The loud ring of her phone breaking the silence inside the apartment. Seungwan let out a sigh as she sauntered across the room to reach her phone that was located on the high table beside the window that gave her the spectacle of the view of Seoul.

The place where she used to hug Joohyun from the back as they glance their eyes over the night view of the city that they always get from this apartment. Kissing her soft neck softly as they just bask themselves from each other’s warmness enveloping both of their bodies in such a delicate way.

“Hello?” greeted Seungwan hollowly.

“Seungwan? This is Tiffany. You know, from Magnetic Moon Magazine.”

Tiffany, the editor-in-chief of Magnetic Moon Magazine, the lifestyle magazine that she used to send her self-written article to. It’s not a rare occurrence for Tiffany to call her personally. She always did that whenever she approved her article and asked about the rest of the details for the publishing. This time, Seungwan thinks it’s not really that difference.

“I think you already know why I’m calling you.”

Seungwan hummed. “Talking about the details of the payment?”

“Yeah, that. And,” Seungwan can hear the hesitation inside her voice. Contemplating whether this is the right time for her to talk about it or not. “I want to ask you something. Can I?”

“Why not?”

She can hear Tiffany sigh carefully before saying the words. “As usual, the article that you always sent to us is so beautiful and perfect to be published with us. But-“

Seungwan still stayed silent as she waited for Tiffany to continue her words. She sounded like she was struggling to let out the words.

“I know it’s affecting you so hard, but your article for the past months is filled with pretty dark contents, Seungwan. It is still good and I’m personally loving it but, don’t you think it’s time to brighten it up for a bit?”

Her empty gaze that was looking at the scenery beyond the glass hardens. “I just started to write again after I’m unable to write for almost a year, Tiffany. And the contents that they provided recently for me to write an article to is like that.”

“I know!” exclaimed Tiffany softly. “And I’m really glad that you come back to write again, Seungwan. I really do. But to use that as your coping mechanism to ignore what has happened years ago, is something that quite bothers me.”

Seungwan shut again. Didn’t bother to try to make her brain work trying to come up for a reply of Tiffany’s words to her. No one understands her condition. No one. And they will never understand it.

“Jinki said to me that you are a bright writer, Seungwan,” sighed Tiffany, being careful again as she felt like she was currently walking on a single thread and she can fall anytime when she wasn’t being aware of her own safety. Crossing the lines that should never be crossed. “I just want that side of person showing up once again.”

“That person has been taken away by someone two years ago,” stated Seungwan in a hard voice, and didn't let Tiffany have a room to object with her statement. “Now, excuse me, I need to do something. You can send the details to me by email. Have a good time, Ms Hwang.”

Seungwan ended the call immediately, ignoring Tiffany’s desperate cry to talk with her again. Throwing away her phone somewhere, doesn’t really care where it was going to land.

She lost her soulmate. The owner of her heart. The person who manages to make her life more meaningful. Saying those words to her is such a disrespectful thing to say. She was still struggling, and writing is the only way for her to forget everything that has happened in her poor life.

It’s not her damn fault that somehow her writing is being laced with darkness and desperation layering every word she typed for the article.

Another ding can be heard from her phone. She let out a frustrated sigh as her eyes wandered across her apartment, trying to find her damned phone that she threw earlier. Finding it being neglected on top of the white sofa.

The white sofa that was also filled with happy memories, now tainted in sorrow.

She took the rectangle thing from the sofa, checking what message just came to her phone. Her blank eyes got blanked more as she realized the person who just sent a message to her is no other than Yerim, her beloved sister-in-law.

Don’t forget about your blind date today, unnie! -Yerim.

Can someone just please bury her inside the ground now?

---

Seulgi sat anxiously as she looked at the person who sat in front of her. Her clammy hands keep wiping itself against her knees as she tries to calm herself down. Trying not to look too anxious like she was a teenager who was just having her first dating experience.

And Seungwan didn’t help a bit with it since she didn’t spare any glance towards her ever since she seated herself in front of her.

She decided to scan the woman using her curious eyes. She has really beautiful short blonde hair. Looking glistening as the soft ray of afternoon sun hitting the locks gently. Covering it with a golden blanket made from light.

Her eyes having the dark brown orbs that somehow looked dim. She can find nothing inside it. Only empty gaze, and the will to not wanting to pass another day of living.

Her heart thumped softly once her mind dawned those thoughts inside. It was the same look that she has inside her eyes ever since she got her permanent injury. And it’s never changed.

“So,” Seulgi cleared nervously, trying to not let her anxiety show up in front of her date. Even though it’s completely blatant in the way she acted once she gave a thought about it again. “Hello. I’m Kang Seulgi.”

“I know,” answered Seungwan shortly. Still didn’t spare her a glance as she kept her gaze fixated to the laptop screen in front of her. “And I will not say my name for the second time, in case you are wondering.”

Seulgi nodded slightly as her mind kept chanting Seungwan’s name over and over and over. Trying to make her remember the name and keep it locked inside one part of her brain so it will never slip off her mind. She tried to say her name, tasting how her name rolled in her tongue. “Seungwan,” she whispered, as a small grin bloomed on her lips.

Her name tasted nice to be said. She likes it.

“What are you doing right now, Seungwan-ah?”

Seungwan raised her eyebrow as she called her like they are the long-lost best friends for ten years, when they had just met each other a couple hours ago. She didn’t voice out anything, nor protest for the way she called her as she answered her question. “Writing. If that wasn’t obvious from the first glance.”

Seulgi nodded again as she kept her gaze to Seungwan’s face. “Are you a writer?”

“Freelance writer,” fixed Seungwan shortly, still didn’t want to spare her a glance. Her fingers keep the pace of their dancing with the keyboard as they move in sync like they have been trained for a lifetime.

“What kind of things do you write?”

“Everything.”

Seulgi frowned, didn’t quite understand what she meant by everything. “Everything?”

“I can write everything that can be written,” stated Seungwan in her flat tone. This time she took a peek of Seulgi’s expression over the screen of her laptop, before changing it back once again to its position in a split second. “Articles, poetry, even love letters.”

The cat-like eyes woman released her shocked gasp. “You can write a love letter?”

“As long as they pay,” deadpanned Seungwan.

Seulgi hummed. “So if they didn’t pay, you wouldn’t write a thing?”

Seungwan huffed in frustration. “If someone wanted a cup of your coffee, and they didn’t pay for it, will you give it to them?”

A frown shows up on her forehead as her mind thinks about the scenario Seungwan just told her. “Of course not!”

“Exactly.”

Seulgi bit her lip, feeling ashamed of her dumb question. She was too nervous for today’s date. And Seungwan seems like she didn’t feel interested in talking with her. So that means she needs to be the person who is trying to keep up their conversation. The person who keeps throwing the topics as long as the talking still circulated.

“I see you are just selling coffee here.”

Seulgi blinked her eyes, and didn't expect Seungwan to be the one who gave a topic for their conversation. “Ah, yeah. I’m not really skilled in making anything else except coffee. I will try to make tea in the next month, though.”

Seungwan nodded. “You didn’t bake?”

Her cheeks suddenly covered with blush as she lowered her head, feeling shy for looking at Seungwan as she was about to state the most embarrassing things in her life. “I can’t cook, or bake.”

She gave her a soft hum as her answer, closing the screen of her laptop as she fixed her gaze for the first time with her light brown orbs one. Seulgi felt like her whole life was getting inside her dark orbs, wanting to expose everything that she kept inside. “Want me to bake for you?”

Now that is something that Seulgi totally didn’t expect coming out from her. “What?”

“I can bake,” shrugged Seungwan like she just stated the easiest thing that the people in the whole world can do. “Only one cake, but I think it can help your shop. Do you have a place to display the cake?”

“Huh?” asked Seulgi, still can’t keep up with Seungwan. “Wait, you want to sell your cake at my place?”

“No. I’m going to help you by giving my cake to be sold at your place.”

Seulgi frowned. “So the money is for me?”

“Yes, if you want to accept my offer,” said Seungwan. “If you don’t, then I’m fine with it.”

She bit her bottom lip, thinking about Seungwan’s offer that came out of nowhere. And certainly, she didn’t expect this kind of conversation to happen at all. “I don’t have a place to display the cake in this café.”

“Easy, I can let you borrow mine.”

Seulgi nodded. “Let me think more about it. Then I will give you my answer.”

Seungwan nodded, taking a sip of her bland ice americano. Glancing at the woman in front of her who was still keeping her awkward stance the whole time she was sitting right in front of her. The blonde let out a sigh. “I know you want to ask me something.”

Seulgi blinked, once again taken aback by Seungwan. “How do you-“

“It’s completely written on your face.”

Ah, so that what Sooyoung means whenever she said she was expressive enough for her to know what was running inside her mind. Seulgi cleared out before voicing out her question. “Do you mind if we are just, you know, staying as friends?”

Seungwan snorted. “I never want to choose another choice than that.”

Seulgi nodded before flashing her small smile to Seungwan. “I’m glad I can be friends with you.”

“The feelings are mutual,” muttered Seungwan, still in her emotionless voice.

Her smile still presented on her face as she asked another question. “So, how do you know Sooyoung?”

Seungwan raised her gaze from the bottomless pit of her dark coffee to the person in front of her. “She’s my sister-in-law’s girlfriend.”

Seulgi gasped as her eyes widened from that information. “You are Yerim’s sister-in-law?”

The blonde just shrugged, didn’t bother to let her voice out just to answer her small question.

Seulgi took it as a yes. She bit her bottom lip softly. Her mind is racking, trying to make perfect words to be said to Seungwan. “It’s hard right? To lose the other part of yourself forever, and will never get it back.”

Her fingers that were mindlessly stirring the black liquid using the straw stopped as Seulgi finished stating her words. Her eyes darken with void stirring inside it. Her body tensed like tons of brick just dropped themselves right on top of her.

“I know the gaze that you wear all the time inside this café,” chuckled Seulgi. Somehow, Seungwan can hear a familiarity behind her tone. Emptiness layering themselves on top of her voice, covering everything that can gain them to reach the conclusion of something. An acceptance. “Because I wear it all the time too.”

“What is this? A group counselling?”

Seulgi smiled emotionlessly at the mocking. “Believe me when I say you don’t want to join that.”

“Why? Is it hellish?”

“Just a bunch of people who need help and there is this one person acting like they know it all when they are not.”

Seungwan snorted. “Now I understand why you don’t like it. That’s horrible.”

“Please. I never want to experience that again.”

Seungwan locked her gaze against Seulgi’s brown one. This time, she can clearly spot the blatant void inside her gaze. “My wife, Yerim’s step-sister, died two years ago because of a rare disease. Plasma cell myeloma, some kinds of rare blood disease they said. I don’t really give a for it when my mind only filled with questions.”

Seulgi gulped, finding the steeling gaze that Seungwan threw to her. “What question?”

“Why she didn’t bother to tell me or her sister about it.”

The long-haired woman just blinked at that. Didn’t know what to comment or say with those words. It was something else to lose the person who means everything to you in your life. And this is a completely different thing to know that you didn’t know about this side of the person you love the most. The side of them that was in pain and struggling.

Seungwan sighed as she stood up from her seat. “I will go now. I think the date has gone long enough. Now excuse me, Seulgi.”

Seungwan was about to reach the handle of the main door of the café when Seulgi’s voice stopped her. “You didn’t say anything about my leg, when it’s the only thing people will only talk about when they are with me.”

The short-haired woman turned around, locking her gaze once again against Seulgi’s confused one. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

Seulgi bit her bottom lip as she looked down. Suddenly finding her fingers playing with each other seems to be the most interesting view in this world. “I don’t know.”

“I assume,” muttered Seungwan. “Do you know why I don’t ask?”

Seulgi shook her head softly. Her eyes filled with expectant, and curiosity. Wanting to know why Seungwan is different than any people she ever stumbled upon to.

“Because that’s your problem. And you are the one who understands it. It’s not my business to be meddling with your problem. I already have so much burdening me inside. It would be a selfish act for me if I added more, right? Especially if it weren’t mine to begin with.”

Seulgi shrugged, didn’t really know what to reply. “I guess.”

“Then that’s the reason why I didn’t ask. Because why should I be bothered with it?”

They are just meeting each other for several hours, but Seulgi feels like Seungwan is the only person in this world who understands her. Who can see her through the thick walls that she has built around herself to protect from the harm of the outside world.

“Should I send my cake here tomorrow?”

Seulgi gives her a shrug. “If you want to. I will accept it.”

Seungwan hummed as she looked at her. “I guess we will see each other soon, Seulgi. It is a good date.”

Seulgi’s eyes locked at her spot, looking at the last strand of her hair stepping outside of her café before the door closed its way. A chiming sound of bells greeted her round ears softly. A sign that Seungwan has completely left her place. Leaving her alone inside the rectangular humble shop that she built with her own hands.

Seulgi smiled softly as her mind kept rewinding Seungwan’s last words before leaving this place. Her heart bloomed with something that she thought had long gone ever since its accident.

It is a good date. The best blind date she ever had.

---

Okay, first thing first, I am so sorry it took me several months to update this story. It's not that I have a writer block or didn't have any idea or the wants to continue this story. It's just the pull to write this story has gone as I write more stories in terms of several months that has passed. I will try to update this story much quicker as I worked with my other stories too.

So, what do you think about this story so far? I have giving you a glimpse about their past, and now they have met each other and turns some things happen in their meeting up! Tell me about your thoughts, and let's meet in the next chapter!