A/N Répertoire

(Don't) Look at Me
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As this fic is song-inspired and since I also talk about music and songs within the chapters, I’m adding this author’s note, because I couldn’t find satisfying English translations of it, and because I didn't want to disturb the story flow with lyrics.

Also, if you want to re-read with some sort of soundtrack, I put them in a spotify playlist, along with other songs I listened to while writing. Sorry most of them are in French or piano solo, which might not be your cup of milk tea but that’s how it is ;)

 

As a reader pointed out, the main inspiration is Belgian singer/songwriter/producer Angèle, and specifically the song 'Tu me regardes'. The album version will give you the pressing atmosphere of part 1, but it’s actually all about the lyrics!

 

Part 1: Tu me regardes / You look at me (piano + voice)

Would it be only in my mind

Or is it in yours too?

But everytime I’m alone

I think of you, I know it’s silly

I’ve thought about it over and over, I want you

Was probably hiding it from myself, I want you

 

When I need help, I see you

Oh and maybe that’s what I don’t understand

I’d like to be able to love you without pain

Or maybe I’d just like

That you look at me

The way you were looking at me yesterday

Without them looking at us

When they look at us wrongly

That you look at me

The way you were looking at me yesterday

Without them looking at us

When they look at us wrongly

 

I’ve thought about it sometimes, I didn’t want to see it

Had sung it already but without really knowing

I’m afraid of chess games [t/n: can be heard as ‘failures’ as well]

I was playing with the king, the queen took my heart

I’ve thought about it over and over, I like you

Probably gonna hide it from you, I like you

 

I’m scared of being alone, I’m scared of being together

I’m scared of looking at you, and even more in the eyes

And I avoid those, that gaze that invites me

Even though deep inside I hesitate

I’m burning with desire

 

That you look at me

The way you were looking at me yesterday

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Author's Thoughts
holdmymilktea
So maybe by the end of this week i should have finished part 2 =]
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Comments

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out_of_this_world #1
Chapter 4: Sometimes I catch myself thinking back to this fic.. It's so well done, so well written, so real and comforting. I'm happy that I have the pleasure of coming back to this and going through all of the emotions every single time this comes to mind, so thank you for the journey! This is what I call a pillar of the great Suayeon masterpieces!
ToosmolforTzuyu #2
Chapter 1: We love an Angèle stan who also writes beautiful, credible and poignant Suayeon fanfic... I'm really glad I stumbled upon this story because it was 10/10
zzzuwue #3
Chapter 4: this was honestly so good!!
yuhaha #4
Chapter 3: i love that although this was a suayeon story, the takeaway from it all was how bora overcame adversity, grew, and started all over in a healthier environment. its still not perfect, but they're commited and supportive of each other. beautifully written fic. thank you so much for writing and sharing it!
Cynthchan #5
Chapter 3: Oh man, I finally got around to finishing this and I just, this was absolutely amazing. I adore the way you write, and I reread this again with the playlist and I'm just emotional. Nocturne in the background was such a nice way to close the ending. (and Mariage d'amour!! I already adore that piece, but when I saw it in the playlist I was like yes!!! All the songs and piano solos really set the mood of the story for me, and only made me more emotional since I love piano. Also DAY6's Stop Talking, the lyrics resonated so well) Suayeon's relationship feels so real and raw, and just so human and I felt so empathetic for them throughout their struggles. I love how you tackled how idols and celebrities, and even those involved who aren't of that status, such as Suayeon can face adversity when it comes to their personal lives being forced out in the open, and honestly, I only feel even more empathetic for them because they're only human. Thank you so much for your hard work, and for finishing this so beautifully!!! Truly a gem, thank you so much again!!! :"D
frenzymenzy #6
Chapter 4: I really love the part where Bora told Siyeon that her heart beats the fastest for her..i mean, isnt that so sweeet?????!!!
InSomniaAngel #7
Chapter 2: This is like a sweet poetic tender written piece with Suayeon, BRAVO, and a ‘masterpiece’. UWUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXO
cansonie #8
Chapter 1: i love it so so so much, you write really nicely and smoothly but not only that, you also portray things so beautifully, especially bora and siyeon's dynamics and how their relationship developed, i can feel everything yk the feelings underneath the fear and hesitation, it's amazing
InSomniaAngel #9
Chapter 1: OH MY EFFING GOD THE BEST SUAYEON FIC SO FAR, but god your Siyeon is such a heartthrob and Bora is a beautiful character both on and off the stage...and OH MY GOD Siyeon’s tender “Don’t” when Bora has to pick up the phone, this Suayeon is going to be a classic mesmerizing epic love story and I’m eager to root for more, lesbian romance at its finest. ;3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo
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