Notes:

Again, the Simon mentioned is Simon D and not their manager lol

2015

I watched him leave the building by foot. He’s wearing a suit which means he’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Dread fills my mind but I keep on thinking that no, Seungyoon would never do that to me. I was an last night but I don’t think I deserve this. My hands were shaking the whole elevator ride to his floor. I rang his door bell several times but he wasn’t answering. I was about to call his phone when the door was opened by a very groggy Seungyoon. He too looked like he was wearing the same clothes as last night and he was reeking of alcohol. 

His eyes were only half open when he realized it was me. “Oh, it’s you.” He mumbles before leaving the door open for me and then collapsing on the couch.

I dunno where to begin with all the questions in my head. Clearly he’s still mad at me. “Did you just get home?” I try to control my voice as I ask him.

He mumbles a yes while lying on the couch with his hands covering his eyes. Telltale signs of a hangover.

“How did you get home if you’re that drunk?” I ask him.

He took a while before answering that I thought he fell asleep. “Driver.” He says eventually.

I tried to keep my face and voice as calm as possible even though deep down I was losing my mind about him lying to me. I’m not sure if I should get mad at him or if I should apologize. I figured that I need to get him sober first before anything.

I stood up to grab some meds in his cupboard and a glass of water. “Take this.” I told him as I sat beside him on the sofa.

He sat up and took the medicine before eyeing the bag I bought. “Is that for me?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I took out the breakfast sandwich that I bought and he started eating. I just let him eat without saying anything. He didn't talk either. By the time he was finished with his vanilla latte, he seemed sober enough for us to talk.

“Congrats on your promotion.” I started.

“Thanks.” He said flatly.

I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I was an last night. I had a really really bad day at work and I ended up drinking too much. I guess I kind of poured my bad mood on you. You didn't deserve it. I'm sorry I ruined your celebration.” I figured it was best to say my apology first because I really was sorry for what I said. Regardless of whatever reason Yoon is lying to me.

He finally sat up. He still looked upset but he now looked worried too. “What happened at work?” 

“It’s nothing.”

“You wouldn’t be drinking that much if it was nothing.” 

“I don’t think you’re in any position to question my drinking when you’re the one who has a hangover.” 

“At least I didn’t make you feel like on the day you’re supposed to be celebrating?”

“At least I didn’t lie about having a guy in my place so early in the morning.” I couldn’t help it. I was shaking with anxiousness. I have to know why he’s lying.  

To his credit, he didn’t deny it. But his shocked face confirmed everything. “You saw him?”

I nodded and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Yoon, please tell me you have a very good reason for this.”

Seungyoon actually laughed. “Sorry, it’s just funny that I was the one who’s upset and now I’m the one who has to explain.”

I looked at him incredulously. “Yoon, this is anything but funny.” 

“Mino, I’m not cheating on you if that’s what you’re thinking.” He said while looking me in the eye and relief flooded me even if I still needed an explanation. At this point, I’m probably just going to believe whatever he tells me. I won’t be able to accept a world where Seungyoon would ever cheat on me.

“But I did lie and I’m sorry. Simon-hyung took me home because I was too drunk.” He continued.

“Why did you lie?” 

He hesitated. “It’s just that, I felt like you’d be upset if you found out. You don’t seem to like him.”

“Now I really don’t like him.”

He sat nearer to me and touched my arm. “Mino, he didn't do anything wrong. He tried to stop me from getting drunk but I was so upset with you that I didn’t listen.”

“I’m even more upset now that it was my fault that you got drunk with another guy.” Now that I’ve said it out loud, I realized how crazy jealous I am.

“You don’t have to be. Nothing happened I swear.” He touched my cheek so I would look at him and I saw honest genuine eyes. I couldn’t help myself, I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him. He gasped in surprise but he kissed back. It wasn’t a soft kiss, it was bruising and possessive. I wasn't sure if I wanted to show him or myself that he was mine. Yoon didn’t seem to protest if I was being too rough. 

“I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean it. Please believe me.” I whispered when we broke apart to get some air. 

“I believe you.” He whispered before leaning to kiss me again.

----------

Things were fine after that but I felt like something changed. Yoon said he has forgiven me but since then, he never shared work related things to me anymore. I felt like he was drifting away from me because he spent most of his time working but he never shared that part of his life with me. Whenever I try to ask about his day at work he just says “It’s fine.” or “nothing much.” I wanted to fix things but I dunno how because work was also draining me.

One night, Pyo and Jiho wanted to meet at a bar since they were in the area and we haven’t seen each other for quite some time. I tried calling Yoon to see if he was available but he didn't pick up, probably working late again. We were about to enter the bar when I noticed a familiar car parked in front of the restaurant beside it. 

Jiho followed my line of sight.

“Oh hey isn’t this Seungyoonie’s car.” Jiho said with a questioning look at me since I said he wasn't available. 

“Let’s say hi, we haven’t seen him in so long!” Pyo said while walking in the restaurant, Jiho followed behind him.

As soon as I entered, I saw him. Or more like heard him. He was laughing so loud he was impossible to miss in their big group. He was seated beside Simon, the only person I recognize. He seemed to be enjoying himself, he’s definitely laughing more now than the last times we were together.

“What are you doing? Why are you just standing there?” Jiho nudges me.

“Maybe we should just go.” I said hesitantly.

“What? Why would we? Let’s say hi at least.” Pyo said while pushing my shoulders so that I’d move forward.

“Yoon!” Jiho called when we were a few feet away.

Yoon looked at our direction and then smiled widely when he recognized Jiho and Pyo. His smile faded a bit when he saw me, but he quickly recovered and smiled widely at all of us. 

“Oh wow, what are you guys doing here?” He asked us.

“Pyo and I were in the area so we asked Mino if he wanted to get some drinks.”

“I called you, I wanted to ask if you were free.” I looked at the big group he was with. “Obviously not.”

“Oh, my phone died.” Seungyoon said as he placed his phone in his pocket. He’s lying again and I don’t know why.

Noticing the weird mood between us, Jiho changed the subject.

“You here with friends from work?” He asked.

“Yeah..we’re rebranding this restaurant soon so we’re here to check it out. Do you want to join us?”

“No.” I answered before any of them would say yes. “We had dinner already.” I added because Yoon was raising his eyebrows at how quickly I said no.

“We’ll just be in the bar next door so, drop by if you finish early.” Jiho patted Yoon in the shoulder.

“Yeah we’ll wait for you alright?” Pyo grinned at him.

“Yeah, okay.” He smiled at them and then looked at me with an expression I can’t read.

“Are you guys fighting?” Jiho asked as soon as we sat at our table.

I sighed. “I dunno hyung. I feel like he’s slipping away.” 

--------

Maybe we’re just adjusting to this new environment. Maybe once we’re more used to this new set up, things will get better. I started working double time not only to distract myself but also just so I can catch up with Yoon who was obviously doing so well in his career. For weeks, I barely slept. I painted and painted until my work finally got recognized by my bosses. I was over the moon when they told me my work will be included in the gallery’s next exhibit. My first ever exhibit. I quickly called Yoon to tell him the good news.

“Hey, you busy?” I asked when he answered.

“I can talk, what’s up?” He asked.

“I’m finally having my first exhibit! I wanted you to be the first to know.” I told him excitedly.

“Oh my god! Congrats Mino! I’m so happy for you!” He sounded so genuine I wanted to go to him and hug him. We’ve been rocky the past few months and hearing him sound excited about something that involves me makes me so happy. 

“You’ll come at the opening right?”

“Of course!! When is it?”

“Next Friday.”

I think he checked his calendar because he was quiet for a while. “Yoon?”

“. I have an event that day.”

“Oh.” Disappointment washed over me. I know it’s unfair to be upset when technically, this invitation is on short notice and his event must’ve been scheduled way before but I can’t help it. 

“What time does it start? Maybe I can follow.”

“7pm.”

“My event ends at 6. I think I’ll be able to make it. I’ll fly if I have to.” He joked and I laughed a bit.

“I know things have been weird lately but I really want you there Yoon.” I told him honestly.

“I want to be there. I won’t miss it for the world.” He promised and I felt lighter than I felt in weeks. Maybe things will start to get better from here.

-----

I was a bundle of nerves on the day of the exhibit. Nervous but mostly excited. I was just one of the many artists exhibiting their work that night but this can really open doors for me if things go well. It’s almost 7 and Yoon isn’t here yet. I’m a bit disappointed that he won’t be here for the ribbon cutting but as long as he comes, it’s okay.

That night, I met so many people and I received so many praises about my art. So many art curators asked for my contact details and all 5 of my paintings were sold in minutes. I even got commissions lined up which means I can quit my job and I’ll be set for the year. I kept on thinking that I can’t wait to tell Yoon but Yoon never came. I tried to push the growing disappointment at the back of my head. Around 8:30 he kept calling me and texting asking to pick up. Something came up at work, I had no choice but to work overtime. I know what he’s going to say and I really don’t think I can deal with that right now. I don’t want to ruin this one good night that I’ve been waiting for so long so I told myself I’ll talk to him later.

----

Yoon came to my apartment that night looking very tired. I was drinking my bad mood away when he came.

“Why weren’t you answering your phone?” He asked quietly as he sat at the sofa.

“I didn’t wanna hear it.”

“Hear what?”

I only realized how mad I was as I was letting it all out. “I don’t want to hear why you couldn’t go to the one night I actually felt like I did something right in my career. Even if you said you wouldn’t miss it for the world. You promised me-”

“I’m sorry, I really wanted to come-”

“But what? Simon told you you can’t? Your event lasted longer than expected? Yoon it was just one night. I worked so hard for this and I wanted to make you proud. I’m not sure if you understand how not all people instantly land on their dream jobs, some people actually work for it!” I knew I hit a nerve as I said it but it’s like my mouth is on autopilot and I couldn’t stop myself. I was so hurt and the alcohol isn’t helping.

Seungyoon clenched his jaw but he didn’t say anything. I’ve been repressing all these feelings for so long and now it’s all flooding out.

“But it’s okay I guess. I wouldn’t want you to get fired from your own company. I just hope you realize how absent you’ve been from this relationship when you get your