8 years ago

Seungyoon’s knock was light. I was so nervous that I was trembling when I got up to answer the door.

I told him the last time I saw him that I wanted to sketch him for a project and he willingly obliged. I really did want to sketch him because I couldn’t stop staring at his eyes, and his lips, and.. Well his face is just something that has to be immortalized. I started getting nervous when Seunghoon told me that I just wanted to get Seungyoon alone in my room. I did want to spend some time together alone but that wasn’t the initial purpose of this and I was starting to wonder if Yoon thought I was just trying to get in his pants. And If he’d be interested if I was…

He knocked again, a little louder, and I stopped thinking and opened the door.

Fringes of dark hair stuck out from his dark gray beanie. He hunched his shoulders, hands in his front pockets. “Hey,” he said.

I stepped back into the room, holding the door wide. A couple of students were across the hall, eyeballing Yoon, gaping at me, watching him enter my room.

The whole floor would know I had Seungyoon in my room within five minutes.

I let the door swing shut as Seungyoon stood in the center of the room, which seemed to shrink with him in it. He examined the room, probably his first time to see what the dorms looked liked. Taking advantage of his distraction, I studied him. Boots, tight black pants, black cardigan, and a light shirt. He turned his head to scan the other side of the room, and I stared at his profile-- sharp jaw, thick lips, pinkish cheeks.

Facing me, his eyes flicked over me and then to the sketchpad on my desk, “Where do you want me?” He asked sounding breathless and wow if that question didn’t seem like a brazen proposition. He took the beanie off and ran both hands through his flattened hair, and then shook it out, resulting in a bead-head look. Good God. When he removed his cardigan, his t-shirt rode up a bit revealing smooth milky white skin. He looked at me with eyebrows raised because I realized I haven’t answered.

“On the bed?” Wow. Could I be any more obvious? My insides went liquid from his ghost of a smile.

“Okay.” He moved to perch on the edge of the mattress, he looked like he didn’t know what he was doing. Frankly, me neither.

“Um. You look really uneasy. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” We don’t have to do what. I don’t know what I’m asking anymore.

He looked me in the eye. “I want to.” 

, I wonder if I’m just imagining things. “Hmm. What position would be the most comfortable for you?” 

The flush that spread like wildfire across his face confirmed that I definitely wasn’t the only one feeling the tension. He caught his lower lip in his teeth, and I was sure it was to contain a laugh. “I dunno, maybe I could..lie down?”

He removed his boots and then laid down on his side while resting his head on his arms, facing me.

I nodded, while stepping near the bed and getting on my knees. I moved close enough to fan my fingers through his bangs so that more of his eyes would show. “Perfect,” I murmured, scooting back to my position against the wall, a few safe feet away.

He stared at my face as I sketched. At some point, his gaze began to move over the rest of me. As if his fingertips skimmed over my shoulders and down my back. His took a deep breath and he shut his eyes.

“Falling asleep?” I asked.

He opened them again. “No, are you done?” He asked.

“I’m about to sketch details now so I’m going to come nearer.” I told him.

“Okay.” 

I scooted back to the edge of the bed and returned to sketching. When I started sketching his lips, I wanted to reach up, grab his t-shirt, and pull him down to me. My hands clenched involuntarily and his gaze flicked there and back.

“Mino, are you okay? Need a break?”

“I’m fine, it’s just that..”

“Just what?”

I sighed. “I absolutely, want to kiss you right now. Badly.” 

His eyes widened and his lips parted making me want to kiss him even more. I reached out to touch his lips and I trailed my finger over to his jaw and down his throat.

Seungyoon stared at me and then swallowed. The movement of his throat was hypnotizing. “Okay.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I dropped the pad onto the floor and the pencil followed, my stare never unlocking his. As I leaned over him, I felt a heightened awareness of every part of my body that touched a part of his-- the edge of his hip pressed to mine, his chest sliding against mine, my fingers tracing from wrists to forearms and then framing his face. I held him in place, lips near his ear. “You’re so beautiful,” I whispered, moving my lips to his.

His lips were warm and soft, pressing against mine, and when my tongue began a gentle onslaught against the line of his lips, he opened them. Tongue delving into his mouth, my hands traveled in opposite directions--one to his wrists, pressing them into the mattress above his head, one skimming down his side, digging into his waist. I kissed him harder, claiming the responses I coaxed from him. My head swam, and I was drawing in short bursts of air as if I was surfacing every few seconds before diving deeper. I  lessened the pressure and on his lower lip softly, brushed my tongue over it, and then repeated the movement. He fidgeted beneath me and my tongue slipped between his lips again.

He pushed his hands into my hair. I drew him up, scooping him into my lap as I leaned him back, with one hand cradling his head. I kissed a path down his neck and into the V of his shirt. His head fell back as he panted. My hand drifted under his shirt to slide along his ribs. His hands tightened on my hair as my fingers brushed a . I was about to remove his white shirt over his head when I noticed how..dirty it was.

“Ah, crap.” I pulled my hand away and looked at my fingers. “I forgot what my hands look like after drawing using a charcoal pencil.” 

“What? What is it?” Seungyoon asked a little bewildered, his eyes look wild.

“You may have little gray marks.. Everywhere.” 

“Oh.” He just said and then he looked at his arms, and then his shirt. All smeared with charcoal. He slowly started laughing and I couldn't help but laugh with him until we were rolling in the bed with tears in our eyes. 

2020

The party is in one of the restaurants that we frequented. Nothing formal just a bunch of old college friends catching up. It’s been 5 years after graduation and I’m seeing a lot of faces that I haven’t seen in years. I tried to make small talk with some but my eyes kept on looking at the front door every time it opens. Yoon is never late. But it’s been an hour and he’s still not here. Maybe he bailed after all. 

“He’s going to come.” Jinu says while watching me.

“Who?” I feign ignorance. 

Jinu laughs because he can see right through my bull. “Yoon.” 

“Yoon? Seungyoonie is coming?” Jiho looks up from the pasta he’s been devouring. Just like Jinu and Seunghoon, Jiho used to be very close to Yoon to the point that sometimes made me jealous. Not that Jiho likes him THAT way. Jiho just liked messing with Yoon and I was a stupid jealous boyfriend. 

“He said he would.” Seunghoon confirmed.

“Wow, I haven’t seen him in years. Except on the society pages of magazin