gathering dust and gas

telescope: seeing the edge of a galaxy through an upside-down lens
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they’re in a cramped room where dust swirls in the air. it smells strongly of paint and the floor is slippery. Yongsun’s heart sinks. it feels like she’s still below.

 

but then Yongsun walks up to a window, peers through it, and catches her breath…

 

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the city state of Lutetia is a place that gets your blood pumping, your heart pounding, your mind racing. it’s a city that doesn’t know the meaning of sleep and doesn’t dwell on others’ misfortunes — it is cruel and unyielding to anyone who doesn’t fit in.

 

the people who live above are surrounded by cutting edge technology and riches beyond belief. at street level, a haze of neon shines down from the cluster of signs above. skyscrapers reach towards the stars like flowers reaching towards the sun. the metro line, that hovers several metres above the ground, zooms in-between buildings at incredible speed.

 

here, people do not simply walk: they strut with purpose, with style — with direction.

 

now this is Lutetia, this is the true City of Light.

 

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«you ready?» Wheein asks, standing beside Yongsun.

 

«don’t think I’ll ever be.» whispers Yongsun.

 

«I don’t think anyone ever is, Angel Wings.» Hwasa mutters behind them.

 

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Yongsun: Looking at Lutetia through the window for the first time was like seeing the edge of a galaxy through a telescope — it was all at once magnificent and terribly tragic.

 

Moonbyul: I can’t remember being anywhere else except here. I’ve looked through my memories to see if I’ve been anywhere else but all my memory files keep showing me are videos of me working the night shifts at SEQUENCE or that woman on my bed, unabashed in her state of undress, reaching out to me.

 

moves. She’s saying something. But the audio is broken. She takes my hand and places it against her warm cheek and I can feel teardrops on my palm.

 

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Yongsun runs and runs and runs and runs.

 

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she runs with purpose, with style — with direction.

 

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the city state of Lutetia flashes before her. neon light stares into Yongsun’s hazel eyes.

 

Yongsun twirls where she stands, eyes darting from one skyscraper to another. the air is clear but she can smell smoke. she hears mechanical screeching noises all around her, she hears engines roaring with power as they zip through the clean streets.

 

she looks at the people: they are dressed in either white, black or grey (because colour went out of fashion years ago).

 

people manoeuvre around Yongsun as she looks up.

 

her breath hitches.

 

tears begin to well in the corner of her eyes.

 

she bites her lip.

 

her chest clenches.

 

she sees the true sky: a dark tapestry stretched out before her eyes.

 

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Yongsun cries in silence. the people around her think she’s crazy, perhaps she is?

 

a weight lifts from her chest, Yongsun feels lost now, like she has nowhere to go. now that she’s seen the sky, she doesn’t know what to do.

 

above does not interest her that much. it is too foreign for Yongsun and she feels she’s interrupting something, breaking the silence and peace. a part of her wants to go back down below while another part of her is begging to stay and make a change.

 

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Hwasa takes Yongsun to a restaurant that’s surrounded by two tall corporate buildings: one is called LUX. the other is called SEQUENCE.

 

Hwasa points to the taller of the two, SEQUENCE, and says they’re going to infiltrate it tonight.

 

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Yongsun: She’d asked me to do something I hadn’t really thought of. She’d asked me if I wanted to avenge my parents’ deaths. And I wasn’t even sure what she was talking about at first, but then suddenly I understood the weight of her question and the urgency in it. And I couldn’t turn her down, I just couldn’t.

 

At the time it felt like the right thing to do… Now I’m not so sure…

 

Moonbyul: A memory file of me working the night shift at SEQUENCE is missing. No, several files are missing! Days, weeks, months — years of my life are missing…

 

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Yongsun waits until the receptionist exits the building.

 

she breaches the security wall and shuts down the surveillance system. then she makes her way through the empty hallways and towards the elevators.

 

the door slides open and Yongsun steps inside.

 

the elevator is cold, there are mirrors on every side. Yongsun can see her wings in the reflection, and she feels with her back bare and open to the world. she wraps her arms around herself and feels incredibly small and vulnerable.

 

Yongsun reaches the top floor and goes looking for the CEO’s office. every step she takes is soundless, every step she takes is taken with purpose. she holds her breath when a female security guard walks past her.

 

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Moonbyul is working tonight’s night shift.

 

she’s wearing a black visor that covers most of her face except for and chin. she adjusts her heavy shoulder pads, loosening them slightly, and cracks her neck. she’s exhausted and wants to go home to her bed.

 

Moonbyul leans her two-handed pulse blaster against the wall while she bends down to tighten the straps around her boots. she walks around the empty cubicles to make sure everyone has gone home. she stands by the window, sighs, removes her visor and rubs her eyes.

 

then, suddenly, from the corner of her eye she catches sight of bare skin and a pair of angel wings.

 

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Yongsun enters the CEO’s office and immediately heads for the computer. she turns it on, the translucent screen in front of her is huge and flickering. Yongsun is taken aback for a second. then she inserts a memory stick and starts working on breaching the walls.

 

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Moonbyul frowns and puts on her visor. she grabs her blaster and makes her way towards the CEO’s office.

 

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Yongsun ducks underneath the desk when she hears the door slide open.

 

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Moonbyul walks into the CEO’s office, pulse blaster at the ready. she looks over at the desk and wonders why the computer is on.

 

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Yongsun can hear someone coming closer. their steps are light and cautious. she can hear the person breathing. Yongsun reaches for the small blade tucked into her boot and holds it against her chest.

 

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Moonbyul walks around the desk.

 

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Yongsun leaps forwards and tries to stab the person in the eye. her blade collides with something solid and the blade shatters like glass. Yongsun gasps, looking up, only to find that she’s face to face with the female security guard from earlier.

 

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there’s a tiny scratch on Moonbyul’s visor.

 

Moonbyul stares at the woman in front of her, taking in her appearance; disheveled hair which reminds Moonbyul of ash. and when Moonbyul casts her eyes downwards she notices that the woman is dressed in a ridiculously small top, leaving little to the imagination.

 

the woman shoves Moonbyul to the side and tries to make a run for it, but Moonbyul is quick and grabs the woman’s arm.

 

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«let go of me!» Yongsun shrieks, struggling wildly against the security guard.

 

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shocked and surprised, Moonbyul lets the woman go.

 

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Yongsun runs and runs and runs and runs.

 

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she runs until she’s out of breath.

 

and when she stops to have a look around, she realises she doesn’t know where she is.

 

the lights, the people, the streets, the buildings — she doesn’t know any of it.

 

Yongsun looks up: a haze of neon stares down at her. fear coils around her in a vice-like grip. Yongsun’s chest clenches, she struggles for air, fearing someone will find and take her.

 

with a shuddering breath, she closes her eyes and wills herself to be brave.

 

and so she runs again.

 

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Moonbyul looks at her biological hand, her palm warm from holding the woman. she takes off her visor and pinches the bridge of her nose, cursing herself for letting the woman go.

 

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Yongsun runs and runs and runs and runs.

 

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cars zoom past her. neon lights blind her. she hears taunting laughter. she sees black, white and grey in front of her. people leer at her. people ask her where she got that tattoo on her back. they stare at her as if they know all of her secrets (she doesn’t belong here, she’s unfit for this place, this isn’t her world).

 

Yongsun tries to find Wheein and Hwasa.

 

then she searches for cover and warmth, and comes across an underpass. she sits down against the wall, knees bent to her chest, and cries until she’s so exhausted and worn-out that she can’t keep her eyes open.

 

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Yongsun: They’ve taken her mind but not her body. She’s here with me, sleeping beside me tonight. Her skin is warm against mine, her lips are soft and plump, just like they’ve always been. But she’s gone, her memories are somewhere else, and she doesn’t know me the way I know her.

 

Moonbyul: I shut my eyes, and I see the woman , lounging on a bed. I pay close attention to the curves of her body, the swell of her s. Her chest rises and falls. She looks exhausted, like she’s just run a marathon. Her hair is ash and sprawled over a pillow. Her eyes are warm and soft but she looks sad. moves and she reaches for me. I walk closer and she takes my hand and places it against her cheek. Tears fall from her eyes, and the video abruptly stops.

 

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Moonbyul returns home from her night shift. her mind is reeling, her heart is racing, beating frantically. she goes straight to the bathroom to wash her face, hoping it’ll get rid of the stress in her body.

 

memories from her childhood suddenly come back to haunt her: Moonbyul is reminded of her mother and those rare moments shared between them. then, memories of her time at the Academy appear, and Moonbyul grips the white marble sink out of fear and anger. 

 

she goes into the living room, holding a glass of water. she rubs her tired eyes, then pinches the bridge of her nose. she squeezes her eyes shut and wills everything to stand still: her thoughts, her memories, and the ever-changing reality.

 

in the end, the truth reveals itself to Moonbyul, and Moonbyul must make an important, urgent decision. with little time to think things through, Moonbyul pours the rest of the water into a flower vase.

 

she changes into a black turtleneck, a black windbreaker jacket, and a pair of black cargo pants. she wears her visor and ventures back into the city with only one thought on her mind:

 

I must find her.

 

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Yongsun feels a hand on her shoulder. she opens her eyes and looks up, seeing a woman with long black hair looking down at her. Yongsun blinks, once, then twice, and tries to stand.

 

the woman tightens her grip on Yongsun’s shoulder and tells her to stay. Yongsun watches as the woman disappears.

 

Yongsun’s eyes dart from left to right, and she realises that it’s still night. she can hear vehicles passing overhead. she wraps her arms around herself and shudders, her teeth begin to chatter.

 

the woman returns and drapes a blanket over Yongsun’s shoulders. she says the night is cold and unforgiving, then she holds out her hand and waits for Yongsun to take it.

 

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Yongsun: Lutetia had been so clear that night. I saw the city shimmering, flickering, so alive — and I didn’t know what to think or what to believe… It was like glimpsing a whole other world, and there was this unsettling feeling in my stomach because I knew I’d never truly be a part of it.

 

Moonbyul: The woman. She’s here with me tonight. And she remembers me. She says my name is Moon Byulyi and I tell her that I’ve always known my name. I just don’t know my story.

 

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«who are you?» Moonbyul asks, standing behind the counter, stirring a piping hot cup of tea with a spoon. «because you’re not from here.»

 

the woman looks over her shoulder, the blanket is still draped around her body. «I’m from…» the woman begins but then stops.

 

Moonbyul looks up, only to see that the woman is staring out of the window, looking at the city. has fallen open, her grip around the blanket has loosened, slightly.

 

«well?» Moonbyul says, walking up beside the woman and handing her the cup of tea.

 

«below.» the woman turns and says, taking the cup of tea, mumbling thanks.

 

«below?» Moonbyul blinks. «below where?»

 

suddenly the woman’s breath is caught in .

 

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Yongsun holds the cup of tea with both her hands, hoping the warmth will seep into her palms. she stares at the woman before her, almost refusing to believe that she’s unaware that she lives above an entire city — an entire world.

 

she shakes her head and turns away from the woman.

 

«nowhere, then.» Yongsun says, softly. «I am from nowhere.»

 

Yongsun can feel the woman’s eyes on her.

 

«I didn’t mean to offend.» says the woman and leans against the window.

 

a terrible fear engulfs Yongsun, and she wants to tell the woman to be careful in case the window shatters, breaks, and she falls through.

 

«you didn’t. I’m just surprised.»

 

Yongsun takes a gentle sip.

 

«surprised that I don’t know this place you’re talking about? this below?»

 

«yes, considering the fact that it’s right underneath you.»

 

«underneath me? how can there possibly be a place underneath me?»

 

«please don’t tell me you don’t know.»

 

Yongsun glares at the woman. and the woman sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

 

«I don’t.»

 

«you’re lying.»

 

«I’m not.» Moonbyul fires back.

 

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Moonbyul can’t quite wrap her head around why she went after this woman when she should have taken her into custody. the conversation is draining, trying to talk to this woman is wearing her out (and Moonbyul is tired of listening to people telling her what and how to think) so she turns away and walks towards her bedroom.

 

«I don’t want to argue.» Moonbyul says. «I just want to sleep.»

 

the door slides open, but before Moon

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Despereauxx
I couldn't help myself! Here's an Author's Note! haha, haven't written an A/N in a while! Thanks again guys! <3

Comments

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Jscl38 #1
Chapter 4: This was an incredible fic.
AgentKuga
#2
Chapter 4: you broke me, I hope you're happy.
gayflippers
#3
Chapter 4: I just finished this and the other one where MB and YS died. My heart feels so heavy. It's just so perfect and beautiful to the point it affected me so much. God.
NobodyAnywhere #4
Chapter 4: I read this whole fic in one sitting and wow, what a ride that was. I literally have like tears on my face while I'm writing this.

Thank you so much for this well-written tear-jerking story...
denfanyi #5
Chapter 4: Dear author, tbh I didn't know this was angst until I was in too deep... You made me shed tears realizing how byul lost her memories and what the dialogues were about. Still I pushed through and finished this tho. My heart still breaks thinking how Yong is the only one who remembers, but then a glimmer of hope lies with how byul still have that one memory of left. ?

Thank you for writing this and sharing this with us. Not gonna lie, your take in story telling is uncommon, but not in a bad way. It takes getting used to but boy oh boy, it hits you right in the feels! ?

And, it's a breath of fresh air. Really ?

Til next time. ♥
rosewoodred
#6
Chapter 4: You’re honestly the greatest. Thank you so much for this story ! I don’t know how you manage to come up with these stories, or how you manage to write them so beautifully and so extremely raw... man, hit me right in the feels... <3
gay4pineapples
#7
Chapter 4: oh man... i’m torn.
beautiful job once again, des, you’re killing the game with these stories!! and i’m really just in love with these concepts, and spiffy wheein and hwasa are just the best ;))
yong... could totally pull off an angel wings tattoo. or like the goddess isis under her s?? yeah, yong could totally pull off THAT
i think everything here is so cool, and byul’s family... lmfao that’s TOUGH
thank you for this story, as bittersweet as it is! it’s still really good, and i enjoyed it very much. cannot wait to see maybe more works in the future from you, and thanks again!! :))
gay4pineapples
#8
Chapter 2: this is interesting?? i’m scared n i want them to be happy but gosh this is so good lol
Lotusious #9
Chapter 4: <span class='smalltext text--lighter'>Comment on <a href='/story/view/1428488/4'>A/N</a></span>
i love the "atmosphere" you create in your stories !
i really enjoyed reading ''you think " and " the theory of life" so i was really looking forward to this story and yet again i was not disappointed ! i enjoyed reading it a lot, thank you !
I can't wait to read more from you.
Moon_22
#10
Chapter 4: Wow! Just WOW! what a bittersweet story autornim