Autumn was nearly to its end. Last year of the same season, I was walking the streets of Luxembourg, lost and asking people about a place I actually forgot now but I needed back then so I could go back to the hotel where I was staying.

Like last year, I am alone, but unlike last year, I am now busy. We have our comeback as group next week, and so we needed to practice and polish our routine and make sure that the lyrics were memorized and our instruments in-tune. I needed to wake up early and pack my guitars one-by-one, send a good morning text to Rachelle and get on the shower.

Right, Rachelle. She's basically my love interest that nobody knew aside from her, me, and Nico, her best friend. But she was not here with me. She was in her hometown, travelling somewhere there because she needed to research for her upcoming book.

Maybe she's a little bit busy at the moment that she did not reply my text.

I went out of bed and showered after minutes of waiting for her reply. I was a bit worried about her, but if something happens then Nico would call me right away. I'm certain of that.

I'm actually more worried about her feelings for me, if she would come back to tell me she likes me too and would want to continue our relationship or would just stay in there for good. I know I couldn't ask for more, she agreed to date me and we are continuing our communication, but the longer she stays in her hometown, the more anxious I get. I just couldn't shake the feeling that she already left me. That was enough to make me think of booking a ticket so I could get to her and making her clarify everything again.

But I told her I will wait, and that was what I intended to do.

After I went out of the bathroom, I finally read her text.

Good morning, how are you doing? She asked, and I smiled, plopped my onto my mattress and typed my reply on my phone. I told her that I'm on my way to JYP to practice for our comeback, and she sent me a good luck text, along with taking a plane back to the capital, talk to you later.

Okay. I texted back and went to the closet excitedly. It was brief and simple, maybe even friendly, but it was exactly what I wanted. It wasn't clingy, but I know I could say everything to her and she won't ever judge me.

It would've been better if she's here though. That meant that what we have is real.

I finished readying and went out of my house, packed all my guitars in the trunk of my car, stopped by and bought coffee to a cafe I nearly passed before going straight to the agency. The staff helped me with my guitars and we all went to our studio.

I was second to Sungjin hyung. He was practicing with his unplugged guitar when I came, and he looked at me when I sat beside him.

“Oh, you're here?” He asked, a bit distracted. I looked at him.

“Yeah...” I unpacked one of my guitars and started practicing. “You okay?” I asked. He nodded.

“Yeah, I'm good, just a bit nervous at this come back.”

“Are you? We're coming back almost every year though.”

“Better talents out there. Makes me want everything to be more perfect for us.”

“We're already perfect.” I said and started strumming, imagining Dowoon's drum beats. He shrugged and followed my lead, first just strumming, then he started singing the chorus, his heartfelt voice echoing the studio.

One by one the members started coming, and at around ten we started practicing together. At lunch we ate together, the younger members trying to ease Sungjin hyung's nerves. I tried to talk it out with them too while trying to send Rachelle some texts.

Are you eating lunch? What are you doing?  I asked. There was nothing for some seconds, and I continued eating and talking to them, until my phone dinged.

We're on our way to hotel. She replied. I nodded, as if she could see me.

Ohh. I replied, and then I realized she told me earlier she'll be coming back to the capital. She and her family are living near the metro, so why does she need a hotel? What? Which hotel? I texted a reply again, a bit confused. I waited for her reply, and although it was only for seconds, I felt that I was waiting for years.

Hotel XX. Here. Korea. I read and reread her reply before it all came sinking into my head. I screamed, “No way!” Everyone looked at me, my members were basically ashamed of what I did, but I never actually cared, nor looked at people's reactions.

“What is it?” Jaehyung hyung asked, and I instantly looked at him and acted a frown.

“No, nothing.” I replied and kept my phone back in my pocket.

I didn't know what to reply to Rachelle, so I didn't reply. I achingly waited for the end of our practice so I could go to where she's staying. When Sungjin declared we were done for the day, I quickly packed my guitar and left them in the studio, and literally ran to the exit, leaving the members with a bye.