"Where is he?" I said frantically. 

 

"Just down here, at the bottom of the stairs." Lay responded.

I ran to where he was pointing out, and there on the floor, was a crumpled mess of my best friend surrounded by drunk teenagers. 

"Oh my god, CHANYEOL! Chanyeol, are you ok? Listen to me!" I yelled, pushing through the group of people. 

 

"I don't know what happened! One minute I was talking to him at the top of the stairs, and the next he was down here. I think he drank too much," Kai said standing next to me. 

 

"Did you see him fall?" I asked.

 

"No, not at all, I'm sorry there wasn't anything I could do-"

"It's alright, it wasn't your fault. You called 911 already, right?" I asked frantically, pulling Chanyeols head into my lap. 

"Yeah of course, they're on their way," he responded. 

 

"Yeollie, it'll be okay. You'll be fine," I cried into his soft hair. 

 

......................................

 

The next morning was rough. I had just taken a shower at my place to wash everything off from the night before and I went to go check on Chanyeol at his house. 

 

He was fine, he was just knocked out from alcohol the night before. However, his ankle was twisted to the high heavens rendering him disabled for the time being. His parents were not happy with me whatsoever. 

 

"So you took my neurotic son to a Halloween party, wasn't watching him and he fell down the stairs and twisted his ankle?" His father yelled at me. 

 

"I'm sorry, ok?! I'm his best friend, you know I'd never not take care of him. I went with him to the hospital, he's 16. He's capable of looking after himself you know?" I yelled back. 

I never really liked Chanyeols father. He always thought very low of his son because of Chanyeols various mental issues. 

The only time I remembered his father being proud of him is when he was on varsity XC his freshman year. Obviously that's not the case anymore. 

 

"Do I get a say in this at all? It wasn't Baekhyun's fault dad, leave him out of this. He didn't even drink, I made poor decisions on my own," Chanyeol said angrily, sitting up on the couch he was settled on with some ice on his foot. 

 

"Chanyeol, not now. You know you're not all mentally there, you need someone to look after you and I trusted Baekhyun."

 

"IM NOT ING RETARDED DAD! I can think for myself ! I'm not good at school and that's literally it! You have no concept of what I'm capable of and think that a few poor grades in school equates to me being completely helpless and dependent on others! It's like you don't even listen to my therapist at all, you think you're the one with a medical degree and you know everything and you don't! If anyone's lacking in the mental department in this house, it's you!" Chanyeol screamed. 

 

Everyone was deathly silent. Chanyeol had never gone off on his dad before and usually just let his dad roll over him. 

 

"Alright then, you're a grown up. You think you know best. I want you out of this house if you think you're so independent. You have today to pack," his dad said quietly with a certain furiousness that could make even my deadbeat father run for the hills. 

 

"Gladly!" Chanyeol steamed, awkwardly trying to get up off the couch with his crutches and heading out the front door. I quickly followed him outside as I heard Chanyeol's mother crying to his father about how Chanyeol can't even walk and to beg his father to relent. Just as I closed the door, I heard the smack of skin and his mother's cry of pain. 

 

"Chanyeol, are you ok?" I immediately went out to go comfort him. 

"Can I stay with you Baekhyun?"

 

"Absolutely. I already know my mom will say yes."

 

My mother was no stranger to the issues in the Park household, considering we lived right underneath them and could hear every argument. It made me glad I never knew my father, or else my house wouldn't be the sanctuary it was for Chanyeol. 

 

That's really how we started being best friends. My mother and I moved in here when I was 5, and I knew there was a kid my age who lived above me, but I never talked to him. 

One day I came home from school to find Chanyeol sitting on the steps up to his door, crying with a bruise on his face. 

"Hey, are you ok?" Young Baekhyun asked the young Chanyeol.

"No, my dad was yelling at my mom and I was scared so I told him to stop, but he got mad at me and hit me," he said quietly. 

 

"Oh wow that's scary. My mom is making me snacks, do you want some?" I asked him.

 

"Yes please," he said, lip quivering as he wiped his eyes. 

And we've been best friends ever since.

 

..............................................

 

Moving Chanyeol's into my house took a long time. Between Chanyeol being handicapped and me having to take frequent rest breaks, we got it all moved in about 8 hours. My mom helped a bit with reorganising my room to accommodate both of us. She even got like a spare bed frame inside the room and got Chanyeol's bed set up. 

 

"I just cannot believe that man. Your mother is such a lovely woman, I swear us ladies would be so much better off without all these ty men," she said at least 30 times during the day. 

 

Chanyeol and I were sitting on each other's respective beds just staring at each other, wondering what the hell to do next. 

"Baekhyun, what am I gonna do about cross country?" He wondered out loud. 

 

"I don't know Chan. I haven't even really had time to think about that yet until now," I said, staring at the floor sadly. 

 

"You wanna know something? I could have sworn someone purposefully pushed me down those stairs. Like this whole time I was thinking someone just accidentally bumped into me, but the more I think about that moment, the more it comes back to me," he pondered. 

 

"Really? Who do you think did it?" I asked him, snapping my eyes to meet his. 

 

"Well the only people that were up there was Kai and Lay," he said carefully. 

 

"Well it can't have been Kai. I was talking to him after you fell. He said he didn't even see you go down. He called 911 and everything. Also, he personally invited us to his party, there must have been someone else there who has something against you. And Lay was the one that told me you fell. That is, if you actually got pushed which you can't even quite remember," I laid out logically. 

 

"You're right, I'm just getting bad vibes from Kai. He always saw me as a threat back in freshman year," Chanyeol said.

 

"Yeah and he hasn't thought about you since and for good reason. You kinda threw your running career away for me," I said, shutting down his idea. 

 

"You're right. I mean, I don't even have a reason to complain about not being able to run since I sort of have been throwing it away. There's always next year as well," he said sadly. 

 

"Sorry I'm not sure what else to say to you. Like if I were you, I'd be screaming my head off about how the world is so unfair to me, I can't really relate to you not caring about running," I said honestly. 

 

"No, and I get that. Trust me I do. Which is why I won't complain about it in front of you anymore. It's not fair to you," he said, falling back on his bed. 

 

"So, roomies!" I declared happily. 

 

"Yeah, crazy. But also familiar at the same time. I mean, I practically live here already," Chanyeol noted. 

"True."

 

"And for the record Baekhyun, throwing every race to run next to you has been worth it. I just, really want you to know that," Chanyeol said sincerely. 

 

.......................:::::::.::.:...

 

"Ok Baekhyun, here's the deal. We need 6 varsity runners for the regional meet. This is where you can qualify for nationals. I was deciding between you and Chanyeol as the 6th runner, but given his recent accident, the spot is obviously yours. So make sure you practice with the varsity boys today. I'm proud of you Baekhyun, you've earned this," Coach Harlee was telling me at practice the following week.

 

"Are you serious? Chanyeol, did you hear him?" I yelled at the boy sitting next to me. 

 

"Yes Baekhyun, I'm sitting right here just like you."

 

"Chanyeol, I'm so sorry you can't be the 6th runner, he definitely would've picked you," I said apologetically. 

 

"No, don't be sorry. You deserve this way more than I do."

 

"Yeah he's right Baekhyun. Now that you're running with us, I'll keep my own pace even better. If I see you're close to me, I'll know I'm not trying my best. You're the best motivator on our team!" Kai said, popping his head from behind us somewhere.

 

"Uh, thank you I think?" I said, not sure what to make of his words. 

 

"Baekhyun, you're one of us now, don't forget that. You should lead warm ups today," Kai said happily. 

 

"Ok thanks Kai, bye now,"'Chanyeol said grumpily. 

 

"Chanyeol don't feel bad. Maybe this was meant to happen. You still have next year, not that it would matter to me, you only passed me once in freshman year. I think I ate some weird fish that day as well. But now I'm guaranteed to qualify for state now that Baekhyun is here," Kai explained coolly. 

 

"Bye Kai!" Chanyeol said a little more angrily. 

 

After coach dismissed us, Chanyeol pulled me off to the side. 

 

"Stay away from Kai, ok? There's something off with him. He seems glad you're running against him and not me. Prove him wrong, alright?" He asked me. 

 

"Chanyeol, I'm not worried about him. You need to relax," I reassured him. 

 

"Not that, I know you can smoke his . It's just when you do, stay away from him. I can't shake the feeling he's the one who pushed me down the stairs for this reason. Why else would he invite people like us to his party?" he fretted. 

 

"Maybe because we're actually cool now? Chanyeol that's a serious accusation to be throwing around. You could get yourself into a lot of trouble saying things like that," I said. 

I've honestly been worried about Chanyeol's declining mental state ever since he got kicked out of his house. On top of me getting sick and a girlfriend, I'm not entirely sure what's keeping him from completely spiralling. 

 

"Baekhyun! Come warm up with us!" Kai called out cheerily to me from the boys varsity group. 

 

"Chan, I have to go. I'll think about it, ok? Go home and rest your ankle," I called out to him as I walked away. 

His downcast face was the last thing I saw before taking off jogging with the varsity boys. 

 

...........................

 

"Baekhyun! Come have lunch with us!" Kai called out to me the next day at school. 

I looked warily back at Chanyeol desperately trying to keep up on his crutches. I knew how he felt, he injected me on my leg this morning since the usual places felt sore, and I've been a little slow all day. 

 

"Um sure, can Chanyeol and my girlfriend come sit?" I asked. 

 

"Erm, let's just keep it to the team," He said, awkwardly scratching his head. 

 

"Chanyeols on the team," I reasoned. 

 

"Ok he's fine, but there's no room for your girlfriend, sorry Baek," he said apologetically. 

 

"Sorry Ming," I said, nervously gritting my teeth. 

 

"You're such an , Chanyeol, you're gonna come sit with me, right?" she sneered and walked away through the cafeteria. 

 

"Well I, I kinda just want to be wherever Baek is since he's my friend," Chanyeol said awkwardly, shifting on his crutches. 

 

"Ugh, Baekhyun, you've been acting like a jerk ever since that ing Halloween party. Even Chanyeols noticed," Ming hissed at me. 

 

"Look I'm sorry, I'll sit with you tomorrow ok? It's just one day, don't be so clingy. I can have my own friends," I tried reasoning with her. 

 

" off !" She yelled, giving me the finger as she walked away.

 

 

"Don't worry about her man. Trust me, girls would much rather their man have some pull in the school than be a low ranking nobody. She'll come around when she sees the perks that come with it," Kai reassured me, throwing an arm around my shoulder leading me to their table. 

 

All throughout lunch, I was the center of attention. Everyone was asking me about my MS and how it affects my running, and why I'm so much better than I was last year. I didn't even get one word in to Chanyeol, but he's fine, at least he was sitting with me. 

 

...............................

 

After practicing with the varsity boys that day, they all invited me out to sushi afterwards. 

"Sorry guys, I told Chanyeol I would help him study for his algebra midterm right now," I explained. 

"Ah come on Baekhyun, who actually studies in school, let's go!" A guy named Jackson pressured me. 

 

A couple more protests from the others made me give in. 

"Ok ok fine, I'll go," I laughed as Lay picked me up and tossed me into the backseat of Kai's off road Hummer. 

I was surrounded by cheering as everyone piled in. Is that what it feels like to be popular? To be liked by everyone?

 

Later at the restaurant, Kai was back to his usual grilling of Chanyeol. 

"So Baekhyun tell me, have you ever actually seen Chanyeol run, like when he was actually trying a few years ago?" Kai asked. 

 

"Now that you mention it, no I haven't. I've only heard it from other people. Kai, I have a question, why are you always asking me about him? We're obviously like, not together together, so if you're interested, you can trust me." I responded, stuffing my face with a California roll. 

 

Kai responded by spitting out his water and cackling raucously. 

"Bro, that was the funniest I've heard all day. You're funny Baekhyun. I'm not ing gay dude, I'm a little concerned you don't know at least that much by this point," he said still laughing. 

 

"Like I said, you bring him up a lot, I feel like it was a fair question," I responded, absentmindedly shrugging my shoulders.

 

"Little dudes got a fair point, but hear me out, I know you realise more than anyone running is all mental. But I'll drop another bomb, the people you surround yourself with have just as much as an impact. Now Chanyeol is a nice guy, don't get me wrong. But the mentality that guy has towards running really rubs the me the wrong way. I get that he's doing it to run next to you. And look, you're now everyone's precious little XC baby, you're the underdog we're all rooting for. So we're worried that Chanyeol is just holding you back. This is the big leagues, those guys in JV would never tell you this cuz they wanna see you fail. We're not like that, right guys?" Kai asked everyone. 

 

"Absolutely, there's so much more to varsity than running fast. It's a brotherhood of people who think the same. That's why you'll never see those other guys here, or Chanyeol for that matter," Jackson explained. 

 

I had to wrestle with this. I could tell what they were saying wasn't mean-spirited, they were genuinely trying to help. They're not saying I can't be friends with Chanyeol, just that I shouldn't involve him with my running career. That's fair, right? 

 

.............................

Chanyeols POV

 

I heard the front door of Baekhyun's apartment open, and I leapt up to meet him, hobbling on my crutches as fast as I could. 

"Hey, you're like 30 minutes late, oh, hi Ming," I said disappointedly. 

"What are you doing here? Where's Baekhyun?" She asked. 

 

"Not sure if you heard. I live here now. Long story. And Baekhyuns not home yet, I'm sure he's hanging out with his new friends," I said saltily. 

 

"What was that today, who does he think he is? I mean, I've been having my misgivings about him recently as is, it's not very reassuring having a boyfriend who's more fragile than you," she huffed. 

 

"Why are you here?" I said, not really wanting to listen to the woes of their relationship. 

 

"I wanted to drop off some of Baekhyun's things, he left them in my locker today. Mind if I wait here for him?" 

 

"Sure," I said walking back into my room. To my dismay, she followed me in there. 

 

"You know, it's really nice how you take care of him. I mean, you're the kind of guy every girl wants to be with. Strong and capable. I feel like I can talk to you, but it makes me insecure because I've always wanted a guy to take care of me, and I just don't think Baekhyun can," she said sitting down next to me on my bed. 

 

"You don't have like girlfriends to talk to?" I asked, getting seriously annoyed with her complaining about the most perfect person in the world. 

 

"The girls here are all so clique-y. If you're not Korean, they don't want anything to do with you. But how long has it been like this, you taking care of him?" She asked, scooting closer to me. 

 

I made sure to move away a few inches before responding. 

"Just this summer, he's always been the one taking care of me. I'm not very good at school, or keeping track of things in general, and Baekhyuns always been like my second pair of eyes. A sanctuary whenever my parents were fighting, now I need to grow up and return the favor."

 

"Wow, you know that's a super attractive quality in guys. I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend yet," she said leaning in. 

 

Is she, hitting on me? Let me tell you, hitting on the best friend of your current boyfriend who I happen to be in love with will absolutely not end up well for you. 

 

"Ming, I'm sorry, what are you doing-"

 

She didn't let me finish my sentence before lunging forward to connect her lips with mine. 

 

"-the ?" 

 

I shoved her away from me before realising that it wasn't me who said that, but Baekhyun standing in the doorway. 

 

"Baekhyun!"

 

"You know, they were right. The guys were telling me you were no good for me at this point in my life, turns out they were right," he seethed, staring right into my soul.

 

I could feel the floor drop out from beneath me. 

 

"Baek no, you don't understand-"

 

"You know what, save it. You're jealous of everything I have. I'm moving up in cross country, I have better grades than you, a girlfriend, more friends, a not totally ed up family, you are nothing without me. I just, I can't ing be here right now! Have a nice life Chanyeol. You too Ming." He finished before turning around and storming out. 

 

I should blow up on Ming. I obviously should I know. But there was more than that in Baekhyun's words. He's wrong in the sense that I'm jealous of him and what he has, the only thing he didn't name was himself. That's all I want and I don't want to see anything get in the way of that and maybe I have been a little too possessive of him recently and it could come off as me being jealous. 

 

"Please just leave, I want to be alone right now," I said, which was the most I could muster at this moment.

 

Ming got up silently and left. 

 

"!" I threw one of my pillows at the wall. 

How could go so ing wrong so quickly?

 

........................

Baekhyuns POV

 

The next few weeks were rough, I'm not gonna lie. I would return home from late nights of partying with Kai and his friends to ensure that Chanyeol was asleep by the time I got home so I wouldn't have to speak to him. I also would just get up early to run to school. I could sense my body was slowly regressing from the lack of sleep I was getting and the over exercise. I would just feel extremely fatigued most days. Thank god it was nearing winter or the combination of the heat would have definitely taken me out of my temporary remission. I could tell that Kai and Co. were trying their best to make me feel better. It didn't matter, I just wanted my best friend back. I hadn't spoken a word to Ming. I'm done with that, no need to pursue it anymore. If I saw her at school, I wouldn't even look twice at her. She seemed to get the hint. 

 

Chanyeol was a different story. Every time I saw him, he was either openly sobbing or just completely downcast. 

"Don't let the disabled, sad eyes get to you man. That's what he's trying to do, don't let it work."

 

And so I did. And it became a little bit easier day by day. Eventually, I knew I'd have to confront the issue head on, but today is not that day.

 

It was however, a great motivator at XC practice. Since everything else in my life had gone to , I could at the very least focus in on my running and boy was it working. I could now keep pace with the top few guys in varsity, including Kai. The fastest guy on our team, Taemin, was kind of a weird dude. He mostly kept to himself and some of his friends on JV, including me and Chanyeol, but didn't hang out with the rest of us on varsity. He was super chill and nice though. However, I immediately noticed that everyone else on varsity DID NOT like him. Which was weird to me considering they said that varsity was a brotherhood and he was the fastest out of everyone. I didn't let it bother me though. 

 

That night, I went home a little earlier than I normally would. I decided that maybe it was time to talk through some things and I was determined when I stepped through the door. 

 

"Hey mom, is Chanyeol here?" I asked her from across our living room. 

 

"Oh so you're finally talking again?" She asked, stirring something on the stove. 

 

"I'm uh, I'm gonna try to talk about some things right now, is he here?" I asked again. 

 

"Not anymore. He moved out today. Moved in with his grandparents I think? He had Luhan and Taemin over helping him get all his stuff," she said flatly. 

 

"Wait what? Why? Did he say why he was going?" I said frantically, fear setting in.

"Well bub, I'm sure he feels bad about what he did and couldn't be around you anymore. If you're ready to talk to him, just call him or something, won't be any different, don't worry honey," she reassured me. 

 

"But mom, his grandparents live in Seoul, that's like 5 hours away! Did he say he was transferring schools?" I said starting to hyperventilate. 

 

"Honey I don't know, you need to call him. I never heard any of them saying that, so just ask him," she responded, turning back to cooking. 

 

I raced to my room and fumbled with my phone, typing in the number I knew by heart. 

"Come on, pick up, pick up!"

 

"Um hi."

 

"Chanyeol! Why'd you leave? Why didn't you say anything to me before leaving? Are transferring to a school in Seoul? Why wouldn't you tell me! We're best friends Chanyeol!" I started spilling out. 

 

"I didn't think you cared about me anymore. I'm shocked you called me just now actually."

 

"Of course I'd call you. I just like, needed some time and space after everything with you-"

 

"Baek please just hear me out. You didn't give me a chance to speak at all the last couple weeks and I felt like you would've thought I was lying if I just texted it to you. But it was all Ming, ok? She came onto me, and I pushed her away as soon as you walked in, and then you were so angry, and I was completely heartbroken-"

 

"Chanyeol, it's ok, it's ok. You're rambling again. Chan I don't give a about her, ok? I believe you. I'm sorry, I should've listened. I should've known better too, you being you and all. I just, Chanyeol did you transfer or not?" I said, just wanting to get everything out in the open. 

 

"No, I didn't. But I'm not coming back for a while either."

 

"W-what do you mean?" I felt my lower lip slightly trembling. 

 

"I just, I'm so sorry. But it's like you were saying, I also need some time and space. I'm just spending winter break with my grandparents, but I'm leaving 2 weeks early starting today. Luhan is sending me all my homework for the last couple weeks and im taking my exams online. I already worked it out with the school."

 

"I don't understand. I wasn't trying to be an by giving you the cold shoulder, in fact doing so tore me apart inside, I just needed to unwind. I didn't think it would end our-"

 

"Baek no, no please don't ever think I'm mad at you. I could never be mad at you. Trust me, I'm beyond ecstatic to have finally been able to explain myself to you. I just have, oh my god, I have a lot of really strong feelings I need to work through, and in order to do so, I can't talk to you for a while."

 

"Chanyeol please! Please don't do this to me! I'm sorry ok? I overreacted, and I've been acting like a jackass recently because of the varsity heads and I won't let them get to me anymore. Wh-What about my big race tomorrow? What happened to every step of the way?" I sobbed, not containing the tears anymore. 

 

"You'll have to do this one without me. I'm sorry Baekhyun, you do not have a single reason to be sorry but I am. I have to go."

 

And with that, he promptly hung up. 

.............................

 

I woke up feeling like . A lot tier than one would already expect me to feel like. Between the intense exercise, lack of sleep and the emotional train wreck I went through yesterday, I feel like something is off. I swear if my body chooses today of all days-

 

No. I can't give into it.

This is the one. The one where I have to give it everything I have. Whether Chanyeol was here or not. My mom drove me to the school at 6AM sharp where me and the rest of varsity loaded onto the bus headed for Busan. 

I haven't been there since I was with Chan- Nope, can't think about him right now, but oh my god my body is so completely exhausted and I haven't even started running yet. I made sure to inject myself somewhere that won't bother me while I run.

 

Not today MS. 

 

................................

 

I didn't even hear the gun go off, I can't afford to be scared of it this time. I made it a point to find my mother in the crowd right before it went off to have at least some kind of mental strength during this race since I was severely lacking in that department. 

 

I just focused on keeping my pace, but regularly pushing it as much as I could. It would've been nice to focus on the glittering skyscrapers of Busan in the distance, or the din of the sheer amount of people at the regional meet, which is what I would've done last year, but instead I focused on the runner in front of me. And then the runner in front of him. (And so on.) 

It was getting quite difficult to focus on any of the runners at some point because my vision started getting fuzzy around the edges. 

 

"No god, please no. Keep going," I huffed to myself, Kai in sight. 

We rounded a corner that circled back to the stadium but ran behind the bleachers this time. 

3.5K mark, halfway through. 

I couldn't help it at this point, I started panicking and losing ground as my vision fogged over more. Kai was getting further away by the second. I was barely able to make out my coach standing next to the divider rope. 

"Coach! I can't see! I need help!" I managed to choke out as I passed him. 

 

"Ok Baekhyun, we're gonna get someone from the team to run alongside you and tell you where to turn, keep going, don't give up! You're not gonna make it to nationals way back here!" He cheered me on. 

 

Even though I would've slaughtered a small elementary school to have Chanyeol here, that was enough to give me the boost I needed. 

 

Even though I was working with tunnel vision at this point, I saw that my coach had assigned Hoseok to run outside the rope next to me. He was right below me on varsity, but didn't qualify for regionals. 

 

"Baek, you got this, take a right in about 20 feet and I'm gonna double back so I meet up with you once you turn. Kai is right in front of you, don't let him get away!" He pushed me on. 

 

The little lights in the middle of my vision were enough to make out the colors of our schools uniform, so I knew Kai was right there. I don't think Hoseok had rejoined up with me yet right as I passed Kai. I really do wish I could've seen his face. And right as I was thinking that, I felt something catch my ankle and I 

plummeted 

to the 

ground. 

 

 

 

 

"NOOOOOO!" I yelled releasing all the pent up anger and frustration the last few weeks have caused me. THIS was supposed to be my redeeming moment. I can't even get back up because my legs are numb and I can't ing see and my head is on fire, WHY ING ME. 

 

I felt Hoseok's hands on my back, wishing they were Chanyeols. WHY IS HE NOT HERE. I felt like screaming and crying and slapping the out of someone all at the same time. 

 

"You tried your best Baekhyun-"

"NO! HELP ME UP NOW!" I yelled, watching more runners go past me. 

"Just ing help me get some momentum and I can keep going," I yelled, losing out on precious time. 

"I don't think-"

"NOW!"

 

He ducked under the rope and put an arm around my shoulders and started jogging until I could get my legs momentum going. I released him and pushed forward, using my short break as a burst of energy. 

 

"Baek I can't keep up! Turn left in 10 feet!" Hoseok yelled from behind me. 

 

I could still see if there was a human in general in front of me and I decided to use that as my guiding beacon. I passed all the people I lost time on. And there was ing Kai, I had to wonder if he purposefully tripped me. In any case, as soon as I saw that uniform, I kicked in the afterburners and shot past him, elbowing ers out of my way left and right. 

 

"Baekhyun! Only 50 yards left!" I heard Hoseok yell from the crowd gathered at the finish line. 

 

With that in mind, I decided who even cares about dying anyway and shot myself in the lungs by going into a full out sprint for the last stretch. 

 

That's about the last thing I remember. That, the clock reading 18:57 and I could've sworn Chanyeols face. 

 

..............................

 

"He is absolutely done this year, especially considering he noticed he wasn't feeling well. He's a medical liability that ignores his body's signals," I heard someone mumble a few feet away from me. 

 

It was dark outside when I opened my eyes. 

 

"Oh honey you're awake, thank god!" My mother exclaimed, rushing over to squeeze the life out of me. 

 

"What the , happened," I groaned, rubbing my eyes. 

 

"You had another relapse. Can you see?" My mother soothed. 

 

"Yeah I can see. Was Chanyeol here? I thought I saw him," I asked. 

 

"No, I didn't see him. Sorry Baekkie, just get some rest."

 

. 

I settled back against my pillows. 

 

Is this what hell feels like? Not that I could most of my limbs anyway. 

 

I need you Chanyeol.