A/N: I tried getting some real life experiences from people with MS on reddit to make this story better, but apparently I guess it's only for people congratulating each other on being sick 🤷🏻‍♀️, so don't @ me if it's medically wrong, because welp, I tried.

 

 

JUNE

 

"So the intravenous injections cause pretty significant bruising, so you'll need to change your injection site everyday for as long as your flare lasts. It could be a few weeks long. Most people switch between their side, just under their ribcage and their upper arms. Sometimes they also inject into their thighs, but that could affect your gait, so I'd suggest to only use that spot if your other usual spots are significantly bothering you," the doctor lady instructed me. 

 

My mom was hanging on every word, but Chanyeol was just staring at me with a look of concern. I could guess every thought that was going through his head. I knew him too well. 

 

"I don't think I can do that, I don't know, I just don't think I'm up for that," I said, half sobbing. 

 

"Oh that's ok, you can always have someone do that for you! I'm sure your mom can help you with that!" The doctor reassured me. 

 

My mother then gave me a brief look that said she could absolutely not do anything of the sort. She gags at the sight of her own blood, hence why she joined the insurance agent workforce. 

 

"Oooorrrrr, maybe your brother can help you," the doctor said, noticing the look on my mothers face.

 

"Oh, I'm not his brother. And I couldn't possibly do that, I don't know the first thing about doing that. I could seriously hurt him," Chanyeol stammered. 

 

"Oh, don't worry about that. We can show you, step-by-step right now!" She said cheerfully. 

 

We had all gone back into the doctors office a few days after my initial attack to discuss treatment. I had spent the last few days in agony. I could barely see, my nose just ing hurt in general from being broken. My legs at the very least didn't hurt, mostly because I couldn't feel them at all. I had been using a wheelchair to get around until I was to get medication to control the symptoms. 

 

"Oh, well that's, fortunate," Chanyeol said, noticeably sweating. 

He did his usual thing and diverted his eyes away, sighing deeply.

 

"Ok, yeah yeah, I guess that's fine," he eventually said, still looking as uncomfortable as ever. 

 

"Great! Then you can give him his first one, we'll walk you through it," she said, happy as ever, like my world hadn't just crashed around my ears. Or my nose, rather. 

 

The next 20 minutes was a gruelling affair for every party involved. However, everyone came out the other side having learned something. 

Chanyeol actually learned what he was supposed to and I learned that he was actually capable of something like this. 

My mother learned that needles were even worse than blood and promptly threw up everywhere as soon as the nurse brought it out to show Chanyeol and my doctor learned not to have needles out around my mom. 

..............................................................

 

The next few weeks dragged for me. Chanyeol would come in every morning and administered my injection into a different location as instructed. This was easy considering he lived in the apartment directly below mine. Our relationship had changed dramatically within a few weeks. Chanyeol was used to being taken care of by me, and now our roles had switched full scale.

 

For lack of a better term, I felt lost. I couldn't walk at all. My left leg and my left arm had been paralysed for almost 5 weeks. I felt like they had been that way forever at this point, and that there was no end in sight. 

I had given up.

 

 

"Chanyeol, what if I can never race again?" I asked one day staring into space, right after Chanyeol gave me my daily injection. My left arm felt particularly ravaged. 

 

I had my knees tucked up into my chest, dead arm hanging at my side, sitting on my bed while Chanyeol was doing the same, but sitting on the floor, also staring into space. 

"I don't know Baekhyun. I don't think I can answer that," he said, fidgeting his hands in a very "Chanyeol-y" way.  

Some things never change.

 

............................................................................

JULY

 

"Hey Chanyeol, you want to hear something funny?" I said abruptly. 

We were hanging out in my living room playing video games after he essentially carried me from my bedroom. 

"What?" He said, paying most of his attention to PUBG. I didn't blame him, I knew there wasn't a lot of attention in his head to begin with. 

 

"Summer was like, my favourite season ever, now I just want it the over," I said rashly, not being able to bite back the resentment I felt towards the blistering heat outside. 

 

Something about the heat just made my condition all the more worse. My mind was in constant "cog fog" during the day since my A/C , taking hot showers was just not in the cards for me anymore and going outside equated to insta death in my eyes. 

Which tbh, didn't sound too bad to me right now. 

I'm kidding. 

Just kidding. 

Yeah, I am kidding.

 

"Well hey, at least you have an excuse to not run?" Chanyeol offered, trying to be helpful. 

However, his words were the opposite of helpful and I just broke down crying instead. 

"Oh sorry Baekhyun, you know I'm not good with words and . , I'm even worse at consoling people, hey, please don't cry, ok? You don't look cute when you cry," Chanyeol stumbled with his words, most likely spewing them out as fast as he could think them.

 

I laughed a little while still managing to sob at the same time.

"You know, being cute isn't exactly a priority for me right now. In fact, I don't even think it makes the top 100," I laugh-sobbed. 

 

Chanyeol scooted closer to me and pulled me against his side, a bold move for him as he doesn't like being touched by anyone including myself. 

 

"Chan, you don't have to make yourself uncomfor-" 

 

"I don't mind, I think I just need to accept that even though I've needed you to help me function in the past, you have to rely on me just as much now. Now we're equal. Also, you always kind of like, look good, like cute. So don't worry about that, like ever," he said, his breathing getting more shaky towards the end. 

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, for some reason I was a little hesitant to look him full in the face.

"I don't know," he mumbled, his breath brushing my ear, so I knew he was facing my direction.

I looked up to meet his gaze and this time, he didn't divert his eyes away. 

 

"WHAT THE GUYS ????!!"

 

Chanyeol startled and literally shoved my away, like hard. 

 

"You had a PUBG session without me?" Luhan yelled as he opened the front door of my apartment, not bothering to knock as usual. 

"Look, I know you're like disabled and now, but I didn't know your IQ dropped below 0 as well," he huffed as he sat down and grabbed a controller. 

 

"Hmm, bold words for you to say Luhan," Chanyeol chuckled after helping me sit back up after being brutally shoved. 

 

"What does "bold" mean?" Luhan asked. 

"Nevermind," Chanyeol laughed, then suddenly started feeling around for something. 

 

"BAEK, WHERE'S MY WALLET?!" 

 

" shut up, I'm sitting right next to you, it's in your back pocket you stupid ."

 

"Well your moms a ing ," Chanyeol laughed as he joined the game with Luhan. 

 

"You wish she was, you just want to Baekhyuns mom all the time," Luhan added to the conversation. 

 

"Yah, says the guy who openly stares at Ms. Song's when she wears that push-up bra to school," I threw back at him.

 

I felt like everything had returned to normal, but only for that second. 

..............................................................................

 

AUGUST

 

By the time August rolled around, most things were almost back to normal for Baekhyun. His vision had returned to normal. Okay that was the only thing that returned, he was just trying to be optimistic. 

 

Until today. 

I woke up on the morning of August 27th feeling, different. It took me a few hot minutes to figure it out. I stared at my blanket, noting just how soft it felt against my legs.

Wait, felt?

This wasn't real. I hastily pushed the fabric off and reveled in the feeling of the threads sliding across my skin. I skimmed my hands up and down my legs with amazement. 

After nearly 4 months of no feeling in my legs, not being able to walk, the feeling was indescribable. I immediately sat up and moved to my feet, uncertain if they would support me. 

As I shifted forward and put all my weight into my toes, I almost fainted from joy and disbelief. 

I was standing. I was actually standing. 

I have to walk around my room.

I have to go up and down the stairs outside my apartment. 

I have to jump off the last few steps like I always used to do. 

 

I have to run.