My lungs were burning, but in the best kind of way. 

Like in a "HOLY S**T I'M ALMOST DONE" sort of a way. 

Ahead of me by a few steps was a 6'1 idiot who kept turning around to urge me on like he wasn't tired at all. 

 

I sacrificed the last bit of air I had left to yell at the lumbering fool. 

"CHAN-huhhh- RUN YOU IDIOT!!" I wheezed.

He just smiled and slowed down a bit so we were running next to each other. There was no one else left watching at the finish line since mostly everyone in the boys JV race had already finished and everyone went to go watch the varsity boys start. 

So Chanyeol held his own little celebration for us. 

 

I collapsed onto the ground right as my feet passed over the spray painted line on the grass. 

"OH , huuhh, , WE DID IT WOOOO!" Chanyeol yelled in my face right after I fell. 

 

"Chanyeol you idiot! I told you to stop doing that! You could be so much faster if you'd stop waiting around for me!" I gasped while nursing my numb feet. 

 

Chanyeol bent over me, taking ahold of my racing tag attached to my jersey and ripped off the bottom portion and handed mine as well as his to the lady waiting at the finish line who wouldn't stop rolling her eyes and tapping her obscenely long nails on her clipboard. 

 

"You know damn well that even if I did try my best, I'd only be like 10 seconds ahead of you, we both , remember?" He grinned apishly. 

 

I laughed to myself and brought my head in between my knees, panting heavily.  

"Yeah, yeah I guess you're right," I conceded.

 

"BUT WE CLEARED 25 MINUTES BAEK! LOOK!" He yelled again, ing his wristwatch in my face that read 24:59.59.

 

I lifted my head to face him with a huge grin. "OH MY GOD WE DID IT!" I screamed, jumping up onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

 

Chanyeol shifted me onto his back and looked up at me. "Shall we tell everyone?" 

 

"Obviously," I scoffed.

 

With that, he took off towards the rest of our team with me hanging on for dear life. 

 

"I'm not sure if I'm more proud of the fact that we cleared 25 minutes, or that you actually managed to remember to start your watch," I said as he kept running. 

 

Damn, we just finished a 5K, how much energy did this boy have? 

 

"I also remembered to stop it when we finished too," Chanyeol said proudly.

 

"Who are you and where's the real Chanyeol?" I laughed, almost falling off his back so he readjusted his grip on my legs. 

 

On the two hour bus ride back home, it was already dark outside and the city lights of Busan faded away as we drove back out to the countryside where we lived. 

Everyone had already gotten back on the bus after stopping at a shopping plaza that had a McDonald's, a 7/11 and a Home Plus Mart. 

But that was 30 minutes ago and the floor of the bus was already sticky with soda, covered with pieces of lettuce and gobs of ketchup. 

Chanyeol had fallen asleep next to me, leaning his head on mine while cradling his half drank cherry slushie from 7/11. 

 

That hour and a half was towards the top of the "best hour and a half's ever" list. 

 

 

9 MONTHS LATER 

 

"Alright, we are going to run everyday this summer, you understand me? No, twice a day everyday. Chanyeol, I have to be on varsity for junior year, I have to!" Baekhyun said, stomping his foot. 

 

Chanyeol thought this was rather cute. 

 

"Of course we'll go running everyday," I said cheerfully. 

 

"AISSSHHHH, but doesn't that sound like so much work?!" Baekhyun sighed, flopping down onto the couch after slinging his backpack to the floor, probably not to be looked at again until September. 

 

"But you're the one who just said-"

 

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID, OKAY," Baekhyun snapped. 

 

Just then, their friend Luhan walked in. 

"Hey wassup s!" 

 

"Do you ever knock?" Baekhyun asked incredulously. 

 

"I basically live here, get over it. So, what are you two talking about?" Luhan asked. 

 

"Just about how we're gonna run everyday this summer so we'll be on varsity for XC this fall," Baekhyun said haughtily. 

 

"That is if Baekhyun doesn't back out on his promise on day one," Chanyeol snickered. 

 

"Which I won't! Not this summer! I know I said that we were gonna run everyday last summer, but this is a new year, new me!" Baekhyun declared. 

 

"You said that last year too," Chanyeol stated flatly. 

 

Before Baekhyun could answer, Luhan cut in. 

 

"Hey, my bible/study group is putting on a 5K in July, if you want a closer goal to work towards. I need hella pledges anyway," Luhan offered. 

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun looked at each other. 

Luhan was, special, to say the least. His "bible/study group", was actually an after school tutoring program ran by a local church. Luhan's mom was just too scared to tell her son that he's a complete ing idiot who needed help that she was beyond giving him. 

 

We all humoured his little bible/study group belief. 

(BS group for short.) 

 

"We'll do it!" Baekhyun said excitedly. 

 

"Really?! Oh wow, that's great! It's only $10 for each of you and total that's uh, ermm," Luhan trailed off. 

 

".... $20?" I said hesitantly. 

 

"Yeah! That's right! That would've been my second guess," Luhan replied. 

 

Baekhyun could hear Chanyeol trying not to laugh behind him. 

 

"Yeah I'm in too," Chanyeol said, suddenly running his hands over the couch like he was looking for something. 

 

", where's my wallet?" He asked, frowning a little. 

 

"Hell if I know, you're always losing your ," I replied. 

 

Meanwhile, Luhan was taking a very long time to type something into his phone. 

"How many M's are in the letter R?" He asked. 

 

"I ALWAYS KEEP IT IN MY BACKPACK!" Chanyeol said, who was now yelling and furiously digging through his backpack. 

 

"Oh that's right, there's 3," Luhan said to himself. 

 

Chanyeol had gotten up and was now pacing back and forth, fidgeting his fingers together and mumbling under his breath. 

While Baekhyun's one best friend suffered from severe stupidity, the other was inflicted with ADHD, plus OCD. 

Half the time Chanyeol was entertaining to watch, the other half he was straight up annoying to be around. 

 

The three of them made up a very fun group, dysfunctional, yes, but very fun. 

 

Baekhyun decided that Luhan was a lost case, so he walked up to Chanyeol, stepped in front of him and placed his hands on his shoulders. 

 

"Stop, calm down and breathe," Baekhyun said soothingly. 

 

Chanyeol looked down at Baekhyun's calming face, he thought he looked, nice. His skin looked soft and just, nice. He felt Baekhyun's hands sliding down his back, resting just above his waistline. He felt himself leaning closer to Baekhyun when suddenly he felt Baekhyun's hand dip lower for a second and then retract. 

 

"-maybe if you'd just chill for once, you'd notice things like how your wallet was in your back pocket the whole time," Baekhyun said handing Chanyeol his wallet. 

Chanyeol didn't manage to catch the first half of whatever he was saying. 

 

Little did he know that Baekhyun's heart was beating just as fast as his, but for a different reason. 

 

 

 

 

 

1 MONTH LATER

 

 

I rolled out of bed that morning and I felt like . I made sure to go to bed around 9:30 last night so I'd be completely rested for the race today. But I feel like I went to bed an hour ago. 

It took me about five minutes just to get into a sitting up position. 

 

"Agh, ," I cursed as I dropped my throbbing head into my hands. 

If I happened to be sick today of all days, I'll kill myself. 

 

OK, obviously killing myself wouldn't help my situation at all, but you get the idea. 

My vision was kinda blurry and rubbing my eyes wasn't making it go away. I gathered up the strength to stand up and the world damn near fell away from me. My vision went completely black for a few seconds and my legs crumpled underneath me in a mess of half numb limbs. I just sat there on the ground and started crying, for no apparent reason.

 

 

At that moment, Chanyeol decided to walk in. 

 

"Hey Baek, you read-, hey, what's wrong? Why are you on the floor?" Chanyeol said, cutting off his sentence.

He walked over and sat down next to me. 

 

 

"Are you nervous about today's race?" He asked, not really making eye contact with me, he's always had a problem with that. 

 

"No! I'm just, I don't know, I've been feeling really ty the last week or so, I'm just, so tired, all the time and today, when I woke up just now, I, I don't know, it's just feels so much worse," I said, choking and sobbing on all the breaks in my sentence.

 

Chanyeol just frowned and folded his hands in his lap. Chanyeol isn't one for touchy-feely situations. 

 

"Well, it's probably just nerves, you'll feel better after it's all over. We've been working so hard the last month, why let it all go to waste? Plus, Luhan's counting on us to be there," Chanyeol coerced, pulling me to my feet. 

 

I jutted my chin up to meet his gaze. 

"I didn't say anything about not doing it, did I?" 

 

"There's the Baekhyun I know and lo-, that I know," Chanyeol stumbled with his words. 

I always thought it was really cute when he speaks faster than he can think, or vice versa. 

 

"Yeah ok, just, , hold onto me for a second, I swear my legs just aren't working right now," I complained while grabbing onto his arm as I stepped forward. 

 

I could walk fine, my legs just kinda felt like they weren't there. I'm sure it'll wear off. 

 

An hour later, we were standing at the starting line of "The Amazing Race". (Real original, Busan Church of Christ, good job.) 

I felt like straight up passing out. It was about 86 degrees outside and it was only 10 AM. 

 

"You alright?" Chanyeol asked me concernedly. 

 

"I'm fine," I said firmly, staring straight ahead. 

It really wasn't much of a competition, even for us, the rest of the participants, 14 in total including us, were all 50 years or older. 

 

This was the scary part. This race wasn't as nerve wracking as a real XC race would be, but as you stand on that starting line, you become painfully aware of how much more intimidating everyone looks around you (that 70 year old lady suddenly looks like Usain Bolt), your flaws are the only thing you can think about and then everyone tells you to think positively before a race, but hell, how can you? 

 

And right now, the only things I could think about were how much my head hurts and how I couldn't feel my feet, but I'm somehow still standing on them. 

 

And when that gun goes off, you just have to focus on you, don't worry about the dumbs that sprint ahead of everyone else, because they're just gonna tire themselves out quickly, but then you worry that it's that mindset that will you get you into last place and you want to scream because it's only 20 seconds in and you've already contemplated the entire world. 

 

Then you breathe. 

And you suddenly find your pace and everything starts to fall away and then it's just you, your shoes and the finish line. And in my case, Chanyeol. 

I looked up to see his grinning face as I jogged next to him (everyone else in the race was walking). 

 

"Hi Baekhyun," he said with a face and a voice that just erased all negativity from my mind. 

 

 

"Hi Chanyeol," I said back to him, craning my neck to look him full in the face. 

 

I wasn't aware that the numbness was slowly creeping up my legs, that my vision was slowly fuzzing around the edges, that I was tripping over my own useless feet. I just felt this warm, weird feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that Chanyeol was throwing another race just to stay with me. 

 

But it was when an invisible hole in the pavement suddenly appeared and took my foot with it. Chanyeol didn't have time to process what had happened so I fell flat on my face. My nose smacked the concrete and pain bloomed up into my head. It was like the final straw for my body and I saw black. 

 

...................................................................................

 

"Baekhyun? Hey Baekhyun!" 

 

A deep voice called me out of the fog clouding my head. My eyes have never taken a longer time to open. Wait, they are open, oh my god, they're open. I can't see. 

 

I can't see. 

My head ing hurts. 

 

"Chanyeol, Chanyeol, it hurts, help me, please help me," I cried into my hands, heaving violently. 

I'm so scared. 

 

I felt arms hesitantly wrap around my waist and after some contemplation, they pulled me into his lap and he gently moved my head to rest against his chest. 

 

"Hey it's ok, just don't move, someone's coming, ok? Just hold on," Chanyeol said, his voice shaking, I could tell he was almost as scared as I was. He was never good in bad situations.

 

I'm usually really good during times like this, but I'm usually not the subject of the problem. 

 

"Chanyeol, I can't see, everything's black, Chanyeol please help me," I begged him, crying against his sweaty shirt, like he could do a damn thing about it. 

 

"Baek, I'm so sorry, just hold on," was all the poor kid could say. 

 

The heat beat down on my head and I could vaguely hear cars racing by on the road and sirens in the distance, the world slowly got darker than it already was. 

 

....................................................................................................

 

"I have a few theories. I'm looking at a possibility of an autoimmune condition, it seems his body is attacking itself," an otherworldly voice said. 

 

My head was swimming, I could just make out what others were saying around me. I opened my eyes to find the very center of my vision had returned, but it was like two bright, lights surrounded by darkness, it hurt my head more to try and utilize those lights. It was hard to breathe through my nose, but then I realised there was something taped over it and that I had probably broken it when I fell. 

 

"No, it's not autoimmune, the basic lab tests we ran ruled out that chance almost immediately. So that also rules out any variation of cancer," another voice said dully like they weren't talking about my chances of having a deathly disease. 

What bull. 

Sure, I'm pretty disoriented right now, but I think I'd know if I was dying. 

 

"Oh no honey, you're not dying, it's definitely not an autoimmune condition. I'm so sorry, maybe if Dr. Choi had chosen a better location to discuss things and not right next to the damn patient, you wouldn't have heard that," a lady said calmly, rushing to my side. 

 

Woops, must have said that out loud. 

"Well it's about me, right? Don't I have a right to know what's wrong? Were you going to keep it from me?" I said more angrily, as the fear that something is really wrong with me kept growing.

 

"When we tell you something, we like to be sure of what we're telling you," she said, still remaining calm. 

 

Well I for one, was not calm. 

"CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHATS WRONG WITH ME, WHY CAN'T I ING SEE ANYTHING?!" I started sobbing. 

I was scared, I had no idea what was going on and it all came crashing down in the first minute after waking up and my head was on fire and I just needed someone to tell me I'm ok and that it's all going to be ok, because right now I feel as far away from ok as possible. 

 

I soon felt her hand on my head and sifted her fingers through my hair while speaking softly, yet the words were inaudible. 

I instantly felt more relaxed, but I still felt alone somehow. 

 

"Is there anything you need right now? Anyone you want to see? There's a fair amount of people in the lobby here for you," she continued to speak. 

 

"My mom, bring my mom," I cried softly. 

 

...........................................................................................

 

After an entire week of testing, (spinal taps, MRI scans, evoked potentials, oh my) after every aspect of their family history was thoroughly checked, (apparently Great Uncle Changmin had schizophrenia) they had their answer that matched every symptom I had. 

 

"MS stands for multiple sclerosis, your immune system is attacking your own nervous system, that includes your spinal cord and optic nerves, so that's why you can't see very well right now. You have relapsing-remitting MS, so this is just a flare up and your vision should return soon."