“I don’t think I can forgive myself right now.” 

Shuhua gets it. Not everything can be accomplished within a day. Not all problems can be solved in one go. “I’m not telling you what to feel, but I hope you can find it in yourself one day.”

They’ll work through this together. 

“I hope so too.” 

----

Fanning her face, the air is dense, thick enough that she can taste its heat. Her skin is degrees away from melting into an uninspiring pile of goo. 

The temperature does not dip with the sun; the winds are exceedingly gentle. Trivial. In an alternate universe, she could be kicking it back at home with the air conditioner, relaxing.   

On this sweltering night spent loitering in front of the campus bookstore, Shuhua inwardly curses herself.

Outwardly re-examines her rubbish decisions. 

"Why did I agree to this?" 

Yuqi glances at her. Goes back to her phone. "You tell me."

The reason is pure and simple, but Shuhua would rather melt into a pile of pitch black sludge than tell Yuqi. Her fellow reaper would be in stitches laughing, cackling into next week. She's not in the mood to deal with that. 

She’s got too much on her plate: sorting through confusing emotions, organizing old and new thoughts plaguing her brain when she sees a certain someone. Trying not to overthink, overcomplicate when it comes to Miyeon. 

There she goes again. 

Thinking about Miyeon. 

Life doesn’t revolve around one person though lately, Miyeon has been quite the recurring character, drifting into her stream of absentmindedness. 

Shuhua huffs, crossing her arms. Leans against the storefront, positive that actual steam is leaking from her ears. "Minnie and Miyeon sure are taking their sweet time killing those squirrels."

"True. But you still haven't told me why you agreed to this." 

"The question was rhetorical, you weren't supposed to reply."

Yuqi puts her phone in her pocket. Smirks knowingly, sending Shuhua’s insides bubbling to a rolling boil. "No need to get defensive." 

Adds another remark to set her off. "I already got the picture. It's pretty obvious when earlier, you refused to come along."

"Spare me the details," Shuhua scoffs. 

"Your wish is my command. Here we go with the details: Minnie asked over text and you said no. I showed up at your apartment and the door slammed in my face. Miyeon called and—"

"I will pick you up and throw you across town if you keep going."

Yuqi’s vile laughter causes passersby to stare, reinforcing the correct choice. She should’ve stayed home to maintain her anti-social persona.

"Yeh Shuhua, you're easier to see through than you think."

Thankfully, Miyeon and Minnie are back in sight—crossing the street. Shuhua is saved from further diabolical teasing as Yuqi turns her attention to the older reapers. Calling, waving them over.

"You guys were gone for so long I thought the carnivorous squirrels ate Miyeon."

Shuhua notes the heavy-looking plastic bag Miyeon is carrying. 

"Oh, we finished off the squirrels really quick, but Miyeon insisted on going to the convenience store," says Minnie dryly. 

The group had split up to kill the squirrels, planning to reconvene in twenty minutes. The plan clearly did not pan out.   

From the bag, Miyeon hands Yuqi a bottle of lemon tea. Another identical bottle to Minnie. And Shuhua gets—

"I got you a pear tea drink. Thought you might like it."

Mellow contentment breezes through her temper, lowered to a simmer. All the same, her insides may have just softened into viscous sludge.

It’s not a bad feeling. 

----

Lagging behind Yuqi and Minnie, Shuhua isn’t in a rush to catch up. Admittedly, she might be slowing her steps, taking advantage of the carefree nature of the night. She walks alongside Miyeon. Biding her time until the others are out of earshot. 

“Can I ask you something?”

Miyeon hums in response. 

“You would tell me if your condition isn’t up for hunting, would you?” To her understanding, both of them have agreed to openness. Transparency. She’s asking not because she’s questioning whether Miyeon is intentionally keeping her in the dark. 

Shuhua just wants to be certain she’s not compelling Miyeon, making her feel as if it’s necessary to push her body’s limits. 

“Of course,” Miyeon replies. 

“But it’s been only a few days since we fought the dragon, don’t you need to,” she catches herself. Reflects, changing direction. “Back then, you would be immobilized after a huge fight, like with the centaurs.” 

Switches her approach once more because all of a sudden, why is she so damn indecisive? She’s not at the supermarket. This is just Miyeon. “How are you feeling?”  

“I’m good. Were you about to ask if I needed to rest?" Right on the dot. 

"Yeah," Shuhua says lamely. 

"Don't worry, I'm not pushing myself right now. I'm not as frail as I used to be either." 

"What do you mean?" Genuinely puzzled, she’s asking from a place of utter confusion and curiosity. The heat might have fried Miyeon’s brain.   

“To you, to us—not much time has passed. We remember moments like they happened yesterday, but time continues to flow. You and I have changed.” 

Physically, no. Emotionally, mentally, perhaps yes. It’s a work in progress with no set path. Shrugging, Shuhua volunteers what little contribution she has. “Hm. Maybe.”

“You don’t seem to believe me,” Miyeon remarks. 

“Opinions aren’t set in stone. Convince me.” 

Ahead of them, Yuqi and Minnie’s backs grow smaller, they’re half a block away and by now, Shuhua is purposely slowing her steps. Miyeon is definitely doing the same. 

“Shuhua, you couldn’t hold a sword properly at first and now you’re slightly better than Minnie.” 

“I will pretend you didn’t say the second half of your sentence.” 

Under the glow of the orange streetlight, Miyeon shoots her a smile reminiscent of burning vibrant skies. That once enclosed, cupping a second life in her hands, now promising a timeless reality. It has Shuhua believing even if villages empty into ghostlike shells and urban empires crumble, even though the world may change too fast, leaving them in the dust—she can reach out and Miyeon will be beside her. 

“In the beginning, I fainted when we hunted, but enough time has passed that I’ve improved as well, don’t you think?”     

AN: This is the official end, but we have one last chapter which will be a short epilogue (emphasis on short). I’ll save my goodbyes and final thoughts for then.