“Krystal?”

Kai strode into the balcony and approached the princess who barely managed to break a smile onto her face. Her eyes looked tired and there were visible dark shades underneath them. But they didn’t look puffy. 

In fact, Kai noted that Krystal was probably the only one who didn’t shed a single tear at all. 

“Hey Kai,” she meekly responded, pulling the black coat she had over her shoulders tighter around her body. “How did you know I’d be here?”

Her ex-boyfriend kept mum. How could he say that this was the only place he knew she would be at because of the several years they’ve been together? How could he say that this was the only place she’d ever go to whenever she’s upset? Sighing, he stuffed his hands into his pockets and stood right beside the princess. Below, Luhan was busy attending to the ministers as well as the royal families from influential countries. 

Kai wasn’t sure how, but Luhan held a pretty good front while thanking them all for coming. Sehun was probably with Baekhyun, last time he checked. At least she wasn’t left alone. 

“You okay?”

Of course she wasn’t, but heck what did he care. She was never going to admit otherwise.

“I’m…” Krystal looked at her mother who quietly stood at the corner of the open lawn, hands shivering as she tried to maintain her posture. “I… think so.”

The air stilled, and although they were both out in the open, Kai felt the weight of the atmosphere around them get heavier and heavier. 

“Krystal,” Kai began again, placing his hands on both her shoulders. “You’re not okay.”

The princess looked into his eyes, a small smirk played on her lips but Kai could see how much she was holding back. And it frustrated him because… she was still the same girl that believed she had to hide her feelings.

“I… have to be Kai.” Krystal sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. “I can’t… cry.”

“And why not?” Kai refuted, squeezing her shoulders. “Why not Krystal? He’s not just anyone.”

“Yeah, he’s the King—”

“He’s your father!”

Krystal’s eyes flickered as her lips trembled. She pulled them back to suppress the thick and heavy feeling in , but Kai wasn’t planning on letting her do any of that.

“Krystal, you have the rights to sad. You have the rights to be cry,” Kai edged close and cupped both her cheeks, “So why are you denying yourself that right?”

Without sparing another second, Krystal fisted Kai’s chest and bawled her eyes out. Her body violently shook as she clung onto Kai desperately, hiccuping and damping Kai’s shirt as she wept and wept. 

“I— I hated him Kai. I hated him so much!” Krystal confessed in between sobs. “I hated what he did to my mother. I hated how powerless he was. I hated how he was a king before he was a father.”

Kai’s embrace around her shaking body tightened as he attempted to coax her.

“But what I hated the most was— me. I hated the fact that I hated him, when all he has ever done was for our own good.” Krystal buried her face deeper into his chest as she slowly calmed. “I couldn’t even forgive him, Kai.”

She pushed Kai away lightly, sniffling and wiping her own tears away as she hung her head. “I didn’t even get to tell him that I love him.”

Kai cupped his ex’s cheeks and locked their eyes, “I’m sure he knows that,” He tucked a strand of her messy locks behind her ear and sighed, “And he would hate to see you beat yourself up about it.”

Wiping away the tear tracks on her cheeks, Kai gave the princess an assuring smile. He left the balcony and made way to his bedroom. Kai couldn’t come to imagine how painful it must be for Krystal, what with her unsaid words and regrets, but he knew the agony of losing a parent. He lost his father a few years after the epidemic broke out. He barely remembered what happened, but what Kai knew was that his father’s death was not due to old age nor was it because of sickness.

But that incident was swept under the rug. Everyone thought it was just his time to go. What more with the epidemic rapidly spreading back then, nobody had the time to avert their attention. Kai couldn’t blame anyone even if he wanted to. 

There was no one to blame. 

Heaving another sigh, the marshal went into his room to find that his wife was already there.

“The funeral’s just ended. I really wish you were here,” He heard Sehun mutter, “I’ll call you again soon dad, I love you.”

“I love you too Sehun.” Kris’ hologram disappeared as Sehun hung up her call, turning her head to the opened door. The brunettes cocked her head to a side before giving her lover a half smile.

She reached both her arms out wide enough to envelope Kai into a tight embrace. They dove themselves into each others warmth as they sighed in content, both reluctant to pull away until Sehun broke the silence.

“How is she?”

Kai pecked his wife’s forehead and sighed, “Self-blaming.” He shook his head and plopped onto their bed, “I mean, it’s understandable, seeing how she didn’t even visit him once when he was gravely ill.” 

Sehun hummed, anchoring herself down beside him. 

“Losing a parent is bad enough,” Sehun mumbled, understanding the feeling well. “But to have so many things left to tell them… poor Krystal.”

The brunette laid her head on her husband’s chest before continuing, “What about you Kai? Did you have a lot of things to tell your dad when he passed?”

Kai paused momentarily. “I don’t think so, we were quite close and I told him so many things already, being young and only having each other to lean on.” He recalled the few times he’d come over to the Eastern garden to plant with his dad, only to get himself planted once because his dad said he didn’t seem to be getting taller. 

He breathed a laugh, “Maybe I just wanted him to see how much I’ve grown too— how much I’ve achieved.”

Sehun pulled away and looked up into his eyes, “But…” The brunette contemplated her question before brushing off her concern, “How’d he… you know… how’d he, pass?”

He husband thought about the question. Come to think of it, they never really spoke about their own parents or family. 

He averted his gaze before mumbling, but not even Sehun could prepare herself for what he was about to say. 

“He was murdered.”

∞

It hasn’t been a whole month since her late husband’s death, but the deposed queen couldn’t stay cooped up in her own chambers any longer. She didn’t know how her children were facing the unfortunate incident. But Luhan appeared strong enough after leaving the funeral ceremony. 

She walked deeper into the Western Garden, remembering the times she spent together with her late husband back when they were newly-weds. Solar had to admit though, the Western Garden wasn’t anything compared to the Eastern Garden. But that was probably why the late King loved walking with her. While the east had lovely flowers that bloomed from every corner, the west was only filled with greens. Which was why nobody ever visits them.

And it was the only time the couple could be alone, other than being in their chambers. 

She used to arrange flowers under the white pavilion together with her husband. It was something they did whenever they wanted to talk more with each other. But it was short-lived, something they stopped doing after Luhan turned seven; the year she was stripped of her title for being accused of resorting to slipping a wild herb into the King’s then concubine, the current Queen