“Hyung, I can’t feel my arm,” Jongin wheezes. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Kyungsoo lets go of the other abruptly and starts to play with his own fingers instead, clasping and unclasping them, before fiddling with the ring around his neck. He then continues to glance around the cabin with a wild look in his eyes, much to the concern of Jongin.

The latter frowns and stares at the man sitting beside him. Kyungsoo’s odd behaviour had started roughly half an hour into their flight to Hokkaido and he has been trying to figure out what was making the other so fidgety ever since. Even his face is unnaturally pale, and Jongin swears he sees a sheen of sweat lining Kyungsoo’s hairline. The sight is just so uncharacteristic of the other it makes him worry.

“Are you okay, hyung?” he asks again, leaning over to place his palm over the Coach’s forehead. At least the physical contact makes Kyungsoo still and his dark eyes lock onto Jongin’s at once, that is until the plane shudders because of turbulence and the other lets out a loud yelp before diving forward to bury his face in Jongin’s shoulder — the only safe space that springs to mind at short notice. 

Oh. Jongin blinks dumbly.

“So it’s the turbulence that’s causing you all these discomfort huh?” he chuckles lightly. 

A muffled “I’ll murder you if you keep laughing” surfaces, but before Kyungsoo can continue to put up a tough front, the plane dips slightly and the seatbelt sign blinks on. “Oh my god,” the other’s grip on Jongin’s arm tightens considerably and he starts to mumble to himself, words too soft for Jongin to catch, while the flight stewardess makes an announcement overhead. 

They are seated in business class only because the flight is not full and the airline decided to upgrade Kyungsoo’s (and inadvertently his) seat so the former had more space. Try moving down the aisles of economy class with a wheelchair and you will understand the difficulties. It is practically impossible. 

Jongin looks around helplessly because he thinks he is beginning to lose feeling in his arm, but no one is paying them any attention. He gulps at the realisation that he is on his own in dealing with a bad flier. 

He does not know what came over him when he starts to Kyungsoo’s head gently. 

“Hey, it will be alright,” Jongin bends to whisper in the other’s ear. He thought Kyungsoo would already be used to flying given that he used to take off every month for competitions back when he was a skater. But it is clearly not the case from what he is seeing.

Who knew the mighty Kyungsoo has this type of fear? Jongin contemplates whipping out his phone to take a video for future blackmail, but he knows the other would not appreciate it. He also prefers to stay on his Coach’s good side so…  

“It’s just turbulence. It’s really normal to experience it when flying. It will go away after awhile, I promise. It’s not like the plane will just fall out of the sky,” he tries to make light of the situation, but he earns himself a hard glare instead. 

“How do you know that?” Kyungsoo snaps. Jongin winces when the other squeezes his arm tightly in response to the plane jerking suddenly. “I hate flying. This is all your fault!” The other ends up groaning and releasing his hold on Jongin reluctantly when he spies the discomfort on Jongin’s face. 

Of course, Jongin does not say anything after that. After all, he knows their trip to Japan is all for him so he cannot even protest. 

The NHK Trophy is to take place in Sapporo over the next couple of days, and Kyungsoo had really insisted on bringing him to watch. He had cited reasons such as greater exposure and that it would be a positive learning experience for Jongin to watch all the top seeds competing. The skater’s silver medal at that small local competition in Busan had been swept under the rug even before the day had ended. 

Jongin thinks Kyungsoo is also trying to prepare him for his official debut at Regionals and, following that, Nationals, so he had followed Kyungsoo eagerly; like a puppy with his owner. 

It is nice that he would get to watch Baekhyun and Yerim skate as well. He is all prepared to cheer for his friends. 

“Do you like cheesecake, hyung? I love it.” 

Jongin’s random statement out of the blue actually succeeds in distracting Kyungsoo from another short bout of turbulence, and he gives himself a mental pat on the back. 

“What?” the other stares at him like he has just grown another head. 

“There’s a place that sells the world’s best cheesecake at Lake Toya… have you been there?” 

“This is my first time in Hokkaido actually,” Kyungsoo says. 

“No way!” Jongin gasps and gives the other an incredulous look. He is not faking this reaction at all. “You’ve never been to Hokkaido — only one of the world’s most beautiful places? I used to come here almost every summer when I was just a kid. My mom would bring me down to the lake, just the two of us, and she would dance for me along the—” he stops rather abruptly, afraid to dive deeper into his memories. Kyungsoo is looking at him silently now. 

His mother sneaking them out so that they could enjoy more time together, dancing along the edge of the water amid a stunning backdrop of vast blue and tall mountains… It is a distant but happy memory, one that Jongin considers keeping to himself. 

But when Kyungsoo’s lips curl up into a small, reassuring smile, as if to tell him he understands this is a topic he is uncomfortable with and he need not delve deeper, Jongin makes the split second decision to trust the other with this memory. 

The stories all come tumbling out then, and Kyungsoo does not put a stop to his chatter. In fact, Jongin is surprised the other could be such a good listener; never once interrupting his flow, and yet, doing sufficient to let him know he is paying attention. It reminds him of their talk three years ago actually — that time they had spent together in the showers after he had given up ice hockey. 

When Jongin grows tired eventually, Kyungsoo actually takes the initiative to carry on their conversation. The Coach speaks of his golden years and slips in encouragements here and there, which Jongin truly appreciates. And it is obvious from the shine in Kyungsoo’s eyes as he goes on and on, uninterrupted, that he misses his skating days. 

“So I’m actually thankful I’m training you now, Jongin,” Kyungsoo admits in a soft voice a good hour of talking later. “I don’t know what has come over me to be so sappy… I think it’s the lack of oxygen at this altitude. I can definitely guarantee you won’t hear me repeat that ever again so remember this day.”

“Wait, can you repeat that line again so I can take a video recording of you?” Jongin jokingly reaches for his phone and smiles when the other bats his hand away from his pockets. His heart flutters when Kyungsoo’s touch lingers above his thighs. 

“I’m being serious,” the Coach says. “I know I can be very difficult during training, and there were times it was obvious you were frustrated and drained. But I’m proud of how far you have come. I have faith I’ll see you skate on the big stage soon.”

“Thank you, hyung,” Jongin whispers and stares down at his lap, willing for the blush on his face to go away. Because he feels touched, in a magnitude he has not felt before. 

He also feels like he has just fallen head first into a deep well of emotions — one he does not necessarily need saving from. 

The sudden appearance of an air stewardess at the aisle startles them. “Sir, I will need you to restore your seat to an upright position for landing. Thank you.” Jongin glances out the window and blinks when he sees land in the distance.

Exactly how long have we been talking?

He turns to Kyungsoo and finds the other wearing a similar confusion on his face. 

“But hey, at least I got you to forget about your fear of turbulence,” he teases. 

Kyungsoo’s eyelid twitches and he mutters a soft, “I’ll murder you if you ever speak of this again.” But his face soon melts into a smile and Jongin laughs along with him. 

The younger hopes their relationship can remain this friendly and positive . He thinks the long, and at times personal, conversation they just had was definitely better bonding then their pathetic attempt having dinner at that Japanese restaurant some time back. 

Sneaking a peek at Kyungsoo’s side profile now, Jongin feels they have taken a considerable step closer to each other. He blushes and pretends to be distracted by something else the second the other turns and catches him looking. 

~

“It’s great to see you two again after what feels like ages,” Junmyeon pulls Kyungsoo in for a hug before patting Jongin on the shoulder. “Watched a clip of your performance in Busan, and I must say Kyungsoo and Taemin have done a good job with you,” he praises. 

Jongin dips his head shyly and follows after Kyungsoo who is trying to locate their seats. As they make their way around the rink to the wheelchair-friendly section, soft murmurs grow in the crowd and Jongin even sees a couple of phones raised to snap photos of them. He does not know what to do when two teenage girls rush up to him with wide smiles and enthusiastically ask him for a photo. He considers dodging behind Kyungsoo so he can get out of it, but that plan falls through when the other raises his hand to wave at someone. 

“Yixing? What are you doing here!” 

Before it registers in his mind to follow after Kyungsoo who is already a few steps ahead, the two girls shift to stand in front of him. One of them already has her phone raised so Jongin obliges to the photo. 

Who is Yixing? He cannot help but look over at the handsome man speaking to Kyungsoo up ahead. They look close , he thinks as he watches Yixing bend down to wrap Kyungsoo in a tight hug. Too close for his own comfort, in fact. He does not even notice the frown appearing on his face subconsciously, choosing to look away from the pair after a second to quell the bitterness that has surfaced within. 

“Who’s that, hyung?” he asks Junmyeon the second the two girls leave, and the tone he uses must have amused the other greatly because he gets an eyebrow raise and a hint of a smirk. 

“Why are you asking?” 

“N-No particular reason… just curious since they seem quite c-close,” Jongin blushes and curses himself for stuttering through his reply.

“They look good together, don’t they?” 

He does not pick up on the teasing lilt in Junmyeon’s voice. 

Together? As in… Jongin’s face falls. He did not know Kyungsoo was seeing someone. All these months spent by his side, training day in day out, he had not noticed the other going out on dates. He also thought Kyungsoo was not emotionally available given what had happened with Chanyeol. That is why he has not made a move himself, after all. 

“Y-Yeah, they’re both very handsome,” he replies curtly. 

“That’s Yixing, his doctor. They’ve known each other for ages. Come on, let’s go say hi. I need to join up with Baekhyun soon for his warm-up and pre-skate media doorstop.” Junmyeon claps him on his shoulder and nudges him forward, an amused look still on his face. Jongin still cannot comprehend the meaning behind it. 

He has always liked it when Kyungsoo smiles, but nothing in his current frown screams he approves when he sees the other beaming up at Yixing and even poking him on his sides playfully. 

“There you two are!” Kyungsoo gestures for Jongin to come forward when he sees him. “This is Jongin, Yixing.”

“Ah! The protégé!” Yixing stretches out a hand and gives him a welcoming smile. “Nice to finally meet you, Jongin. I’ve heard so much about you from Kyungsoo.” Jongin flicks his eyes between the pair suspiciously when Kyungsoo deftly pinches Yixing on a place he cannot quite see and causing the latter to let out a yelp. 

What the hell was that about?

“Only good things, I hope?” 

“Of course,” Yixing’s smile falters. “Wow, you have a really strong grip.” They release their handshake and Jongin finds joy in the way the other has to massage his wrist. That should teach him! This time, it is Kyungsoo giving them a suspicious look, one that he carefully avoids. 

“We still have about an hour to go before Baekhyun takes the ice,” Junmyeon says as he follows them to their seats. “He’s going second last.” 

“How’s his condition today?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“Good. He’s feeling pretty confident right now.” 

To everyone’s amusement (and Kyungsoo’s confusion), Jongin practically leaps forward to occupy the seat beside the wheelchair zone the second they find their seats. Ha! He cannot help but give Yixing a haughty look. Guess who just lost the chance to sit beside Kyungsoo. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him. 

“N-Nothing… I was just really looking forward to resting my legs?” he tries. 

The other gave him a doubtful look while Junmyeon and Yixing hide their smiles away. After staying to chat with them for a bit, the Coach eventually excuses himself to join Baekhyun for warm-up. 

“You coming, Yixing?” 

“Yeah.” The said guy hops to his feet, squeezes out of his thick coat and lays it on his seat. “Baek has been texting me non-stop. I’ll be back before the first skate,” he tells Kyungsoo and gives Jongin a small smile before following after Junmyeon. 

The second their friends disappear in the crowd, Kyungsoo turns on Jongin.

“Why have you been acting weird all night?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he gulps. 

Kyungsoo scoffs and throws his hands up in the air. “Fine! Be like this the entire trip. I don’t care.”

Jongin actually feels a little bad for making the other upset, but this is far better than admitting he felt like a green-eyed monster earlier.

“He’s here.” It is Kyungsoo who spots Baekhyun first among the sea of skaters and coaching staff, and points him out to Jongin. “By the television cameras.” The PA system overhead blares to life and an over-enthusiastic lady announces the start of warm-up on the ice. “I want you to pay close attention, even to his warm-up routine.” 

Jongin hums. “You know… the last time I watched a skating competition live, it was you I couldn’t take my eyes off.” 

There is a suspicious tint of pink on Kyungsoo’s cheeks as he splutters. 

Jongin blinks. Wait. He freezes the second he plays back his words. That almost has a double meaning. 

“I meant to say I paid attention to you the entire time you skated,” he corrects quickly.

“Oh…” Kyungsoo lets out a soft sound after a painfully awkward pause. “And here I thought you were admiring my skating and calling me mesmerising or something.” He chuckles to fill the growing silence. 

But you were mesmerising! Jongin wants to admit. 

He catches himself right as the words make their way to the tip of his tongue. Also, Kyungsoo’s sudden retching throws him off completely. 

“What?! What happened?” Jongin pats the other’s back in concern, only for his attempts to get shrugged off. 

“I told them to kill the excessive PDA, ewww…”

He looks around to spot what had prompted this reaction from Kyungsoo, and his jaw almost hit the deck when he sees Baekhyun with his legs wrapped around Yixing’s waist, the two locked at the lips and seemingly battling for dominance with their tongues. 

“Baekhyun always says it’s his good luck ritual before skating but I call bull.” 

“Wait, they’re together?!” Jongin almost screeches. 

“Yeah, unbelievable right?” Kyungsoo scoffs. “Yixing is way too nice and out of his league.”

“I’m glad.” He sags in his seat.

“Wait, why are you glad?”   

Jongin wipes the smile off his face at once, blinking at Kyungsoo in silence. 

“Erm… just happy for them,” he says eventually. “Aren’t you glad for your best friend?” 

At least the other buys it and takes his eyes off him. Phew. He can breathe easy again. 

They watch the rest of the warm-up in silence. Jongin actually forces himself to focus. They came to Hokkaido for a reason, and he does not want to waste this chance to learn what with Regionals coming up so soon. 

“He has such a beautiful form on the triple axel.” 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo nods. 

“I don’t know if I can ever pull that off so brilliantly.” 

“Jongin, look at me.” Jongin finds himself doing as told at Kyungsoo’s firm voice. “You can, Jongin. I believe in you.” He blinks. He sees nothing in the other’s eyes that betrays how genuine his words are. “I want you to believe in yourself too. I want you to look at Baekhyun like a target.” Jongin’s eyes shift to follow the skater’s path on ice. “You will skate on the same ice as him one day. Have faith in yourself.” 

But it was you I wanted to skate on the same ice as one day , he wants to say. Instead, he gives Kyungsoo a smile and whispers, “Okay.” 

“Okay,” the other repeats after him after a short pause just studying his face. And from the warm smile he gets, Jongin thinks Kyungsoo gets it; he thinks he heard him just fine.

~

“Okay, why are you following me?” Kyungsoo sighs. “I told you I can make my way back to the hotel myself.” 

“I’m not following you,” Jongin denies and stuffs his hands in his coat pocket. It is so cold here at night he thinks he might actually develop frostbite without his gloves on. 

At least Kyungsoo looks warm and cozy dressed up in his thick layers. Jongin is envious. The other also looks like a puffy marshmallow (aka. cute). Jongin is not fine at all. 

Maybe he should have taken up Baekhyun’s offer to grab a second round of drinks to celebrate his lead after the short programme instead of take off when Kyungsoo had excused himself. The free skates are scheduled for the weekend so Junmyeon had decided to cut his skater some slack. Only for tonight though , the Coach had insisted throughout the course of their dinner, despite everyone knowing he is just saying that so he has an excuse to drink too and not feel bad about restricting Baekhyun. 

Jongin stops when Kyungsoo stops again and turns around to glare at him.

“You’re clearly following me!” 

“We stay in the same hotel!” he bites back. 

“Then why aren’t you walking ahead of me? You have long legs… you should be way ahead of me by now. I don’t need you to walk me back, Jongin.” 

Okay, maybe he did want to walk Kyungsoo back to the hotel. But he sure as hell was not going to admit it. Seriously, it is too cold out for all these childish arguments.  

Jongin sighs and crosses over the two steps separating him and Kyungsoo, taking control of the wheelchair’s push handles, oddly without a sound of protest from the other. He sees that Kyungsoo’s hands are all red from how long he has been holding onto the metal parts, exposed to the cold, so he supposes that is the reason.

He had once asked the other why he does not ride a motorised wheelchair, because would that not save him so much energy and effort trying to make his way around? He does not bring it up again after Kyungsoo had given him his answer. 

“It’s because I still want to feel like myself, Jongin. It’s tiring to rely on my arms all the time, but the pain reminds me that some parts of the old me remain. I know that now. I’m not going to be fully dependent on my wheelchair. I can still be me.”

“Fine. I was following you because I don’t know my way back, alright?” he bluffs. 

“Oh, well why didn’t you just say so then.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and points to a building in the distance. “It’s that way.” 

Jongin grunts in acknowledgement and starts walking. 

It is about midway through their journey when he stops and stares at a familiar signage. 

“What happened?” Kyungsoo looks around. “Why are we stopping?” 

“That sign.” Jongin’s eyes widen when he spots a familiar log and gravel path too. “That log and that path!” He takes a step away from Kyungsoo and in their direction. “I remember this place,” he says, turning around to stare at the other. 

“Is this the place by the lake your mom used to bring you?” Kyungsoo asks softly. 

Yeah… Jongin swallows hard, eyes following the barely lit path he knows would lead straight to the edge of the water. 

“You should go take a look. I can wait here.” 

“You know what… why don’t you come with me?” Jongin suggests. He thinks it would be nice to have Kyungsoo accompany him.  

“Don’t be silly, Jongin. I can’t go on gravel.” 

“I’ll carry you then.” He smiles and approaches Kyungsoo, persistently scooping the other up in his arms despite all the protests and flailing. “Now stop moving before I drop you in the lake.” The death grip around his neck tightens at once.

“I’ll kill you if you do, I swear to god… it’s so cold out.” 

He steps over the log and heaves Kyungsoo higher in his arms before continuing on his way. “You’re quite heavy,” he comments. 

“I’m wearing four layers!” the other insists. 

They do eventually make it to the short boardwalk Jongin recognises, and he has to take a moment to collect himself as all his past memories come rushing back. 

“She used to dance for me by the side of the boardwalk.” He juts his chin out to point at the exact spot. “And I would always try to copy her,” he chuckles, feet naturally leading him in that direction. 

“Well, why don’t you dance now? I’m sure she knows you’re here… I’m sure she’s watching with the biggest smile on her face.” 

Kyungsoo squeals suddenly when instead of putting him down, Jongin swings them around in a semblance of a pirouette. He hits the younger on his chest repeatedly, asking to be set down. “We’re going to fall or you’ll drop me, Jongin! Stop it right now.” But Jongin continues to fool around, no doubt laughing even harder at the grouchy look on Kyungsoo’s face. Thank god there is no one around to witness their shenanigans.

It was only a matter of seconds before they both grew dizzy, and Kyungsoo’s weight in his arms brought them crashing down onto the unforgiving gravel. 

“Oh !” the younger curses. 

“Jongin! What did I say,” Kyungsoo groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position. His jackets are all messed up, and he even has to fix his collars. He definitely face planted back there. There might even be a bruise or a cut on his chin. However, his well-being is the least of Kyungsoo’s worries. “Did you hurt your ankle? I swear to god if you broke anything, I’ll break your neck! Regionals is just a couple of months—”

Similarly, Jongin hovers over the other at once, anxiously biting onto his lower lip. “I’m fine, but are you okay? I’m so sorry!” He tries to pat Kyungsoo down and look over him for injuries, but his hands get batted away and he earns a hard slap on his shoulder instead.  

He might have enjoyed Kyungsoo fussing over him a little bit too much. When the latter is satisfied that Jongin did not hurt himself during the fall, he gestures to be picked up and they slowly make their way back to where they had left Kyungsoo’s wheelchair. 

Jongin is a little sad his time with his mother’s memory was cut short, but he feels more reassured knowing he still has a couple of days left in the city. He can head down to the lake again tomorrow for sunrise. 

It is much later when he is helping Kyungsoo into bed as the other holds up an ice pack to nurse his bruised jaw that Jongin spots something missing. In fact, he would not have noticed it if he was not admiring the exposed skin of Kyungsoo’s chest through his shirt. (Sshhh…)  

“Did you misplace your necklace?” 

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo mumbles, “It’s right he— oh. ” Instead of the familiar cold metal of his soundwave and engagement rings, his fingers come into contact with warm skin. “I don’t know where it is,” he admits in a soft voice eventually, looking up at Jongin with a much calmer expression than what the latter had expected. Which is a tad weird in itself. Kyungsoo is also a little surprised at his own lacklustre reaction. A year ago, he would have already been descending into full-blown panic attack mode. 

“Do you think it came off when we fell earlier? Or maybe it’s back in the restaurant… I can go check for you right now!” Jongin knows the significance of the necklace to Kyungsoo; the latter has been wearing it for as long as he could remember. Perhaps that explains why he feels anxious at the thought that it is now missing — he thinks Kyungsoo cannot go on without it, and he also thinks he is partly responsible. He feels guilty.

A strong hand clasps on his wrist the second he decides to set out, halting him in his tracks. 

“Don’t be silly, Jongin. It’s already late out.” His eyes meet with Kyungsoo’s blank ones; unreadable as they are pitch black. 

“But your necklace—”

“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s not your fault. I could have dropped it anywhere during the course of the day and I would be none the wiser; I wasn’t particularly paying attention to it today.” 

In fact, it has been some time since he has been so conscious of Chanyeol’s rings around his neck, Kyungsoo notes. 

He briefly wonders why. 

“You don’t have to go out looking. Maybe it’s a sign… maybe it’s him telling me it’s about time I let go.” 

Even with his reassurance, Kyungsoo can read exactly what Jongin is thinking. The younger’s face might as well be a book with how expressive it is. So he resorts to using his authority as his Coach. “I forbid you to go out now,” Kyungsoo emphasises. “Get some rest and I’ll see you at the hotel lobby for breakfast at 6am. Morning run is at 7:30am. Don’t be late. Got it?”

Jongin only looks up when the other gives his hand a tight squeeze, and it takes an even longer minute before he dips his head in a slight nod. 

Kyungsoo does not know why he cannot sleep well that night. 

~

He is furious. 

Kyungsoo rolls himself into the lift and absolutely massacres the button for the 14th floor the rate he jabs at it. 

He cannot believe Jongin stood him up for breakfast! 

“The nerve of him,” he growls. “He can’t still be sleeping, right? I said 6am! It’s almost 7 now!” He promptly shuts up when the lift stops on another floor to pick up another guest. He sure does not want to be mistaken as crazy. 

Who does he think he is?! I will show him his place! He continues to curse inwardly instead. 

When Kyungsoo finally finds himself in front of Jongin’s room, as well as an empty hallway (he checked, twice ), he shamelessly pounds on the door with one fist and rings up a storm on the bell with his other. 

“Wake up, Kim Jongin! You better let me in right this instant! You son of a … you have some explaining to do!” 

It takes a couple of minutes before he hears the automated beep of the door unlocking and he swings open the door with more force than necessary. “Finally!” Kyungsoo rushes in. Thank god Jongin used the room’s electronic system control to open the door because his face would have met a terrible fate if he was standing right behind it.

“Wake your up, Kim Jongin! I warned you not to be late last night. Do you know what time it is?!” He stretches his torso forward to jab mercilessly at the cocooned lump on the bed, ignoring all the muffled whiny protests he receives in return. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t punish you in training later—”

Kyungsoo pauses when a messy bed of hair pops out from beneath the covers and he is met with sleepy, puffy eyes. Or maybe Jongin is just squinting because of the morning sun. He has quite the view of a sunrise from his balcony after all.

“God, you’re so loud…” 

Kyungsoo chokes back an affronted gasp and an “excuse me?”  

“I’m sorry I overslept. I was up late last night.” Jongin wriggles out of his cocoon with some difficulty and sits on the edge of his bed, facing Kyungsoo. There is something wrong with his voice too — it is not just laced with sleep… it almost sounds like he has caught the flu bug.

Kyungsoo gets the confirmation he needs when Jongin promptly sneezes in his face. Ewww… he fans himself desperately. At least the other had the decency to look apologetic when he realises what he has done.

“Are you sick? Why were you up late? I thought I told you to get some rest?”  

“You really are an overbearing parent, aren’t you?” Jongin hops to his feet. “I was out late because I got you this,” he rushes out his words. Before Kyungsoo can even take in the small box the other shoves at his chest, Jongin has already dashed into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. 

What is this? Kyungsoo blinks down at his hands before peeling the box open, and what he finds stuns him.

Rings. Chanyeol’s soundwave and engagement rings — the ones he thought he had lost last night. He cannot believe Jongin really went out again to find his necklace, late at night and in the harsh winter cold, despite his repeated warnings to him not to. 

Was that why the younger had overslept? Just how long had he spent looking?

Kyungsoo picks up the rings daintily and holds them to his chest. 

Why? Why did you do this for me? He looks in the direction of the bathroom. He could very well ask Jongin this question directly, but judging from how much time passes without the younger making a reappearance, he knows he is probably hiding from him. 

Again, why? For what reason is Jongin choosing to avoid him. 

Kyungsoo knows he has much thinking to do. He eventually decides to take his leave for Jongin probably would not come out of the bathroom until the coast is clear. 

This time, he surprises himself again when instead of putting back on his necklace he returns it to the box and tucks it away in his coat.

He does not know exactly why he does that. He just knows it felt the right thing to do moving on.  

~

May 2017.

STARS TO LOOK OUT FOR AT THE NATIONAL SKATING CHAMPIONSHIPS

As always, the start of a new season is expected to bring back old fan favourites and new faces. With the forced retirement of our national hero, Doh Kyungsoo, more than a year ago, we now eagerly await the new skater who will join Byun Baekhyun, World Championships Silver Medalist, and Cha Juhyun, former Olympic Bronze Medalist, as the men team representatives for the Republic of Korea. 

Who will prevail at the National Skating Championships tonight? A fan poll conducted by the popular news outlet, Sports Chosun, indicates it will be a toss-up between Kim Jongin (21) and Kim Yongwoon (18). Both skaters performed beautiful routines at Regionals in March. However, Kim Yongwoon has far more experience in competitions despite being younger. Will he come out on top?  

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post response:

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Original post: here

[+692][-414] Are you kidding? Jongin has Doh Kyungsoo as his Coach… The script has basically been written already! He will fill the gap Kyungsoo left in the National Team. My money is definitely on him to qualify… 

[+390][-766] Are YOU kidding?! Yongwoon oppa has been skating since he was 7. He DESERVES this spot more than that idiot. Not sure what dumb luck Kim Jogin has… maybe Kyungsoo was still concussed from the accident when he agreed to coach him haha. Watch him flop and bring down both their names =X 

[+15][-1] Sis, this ain’t it… 

[+661][-102] Shut the up. How dare you speak of Kyungsoo oppa like that? Do you know what he has been through? Just don’t. I heard Kim Yongwoon has a really bad attitude. It must be true then… his fans are equally disgusting. Do yourself a favour and off! 

[+239][-99] I couldn’t tell that Jongin-sshi just started figure skating last year from his performance at Regionals. He looked very comfortable throughout, almost like an experienced skater. So long as he doesn’t let the pressure get to him… I think he’ll do well later. I also have nothing against Yongwoon-sshi. I’m just here to watch good skating tbh 

[+198][-11] All these drama about the men’s team in the comments… Am I the only one who is here for Kim Yuna, and only Kim Yuna? Lol 

~

“Are you okay? I don’t recall you ever being so nervous apart from that time when you had to skate after the Grandpa,” Kyungsoo chuckles to lighten the mood. 

At least someone thinks it is timely to make jokes. Ha. Ha. Jongin glares at his Coach. He feels like he is about to throw up his dinner. 

“Come on, be that confident Jongin at Regionals. You did so well last time… you surprised us all!” 

“Oh don’t remind me. I told you I was delirious from all the flu meds… I barely remember getting through the programme.” 

Kyungsoo snorts and reaches over to fix Jongin’s collar before steering him away from the camera crew lingering at the edge of the warm-up area. He knows the skater would probably appreciate some time to himself now.

“Okay let’s be serious now.”

Jongin takes in a deep breath and exhales slowly, locking eyes with Kyungsoo and letting his calm voice ground him. Suddenly, it is like the loud cheers and music playing in the hall that is packed to the rafters turn mute. He manages a small, albeit nervous, smile for the first time that night. 

“You’re going to do well, Jongin. You’ve trained really hard to get to where you are today. Taemin also gave you a brilliant choreography,” Kyungsoo returns his smile. “Trust in your training, trust in yourself and trust me . That last spot is yours.” 

That reminder of how important his performance here at Nationals is again — he is still nervous, but there is also more adrenaline and determination pumping through his veins now. Because he knows what is at stake. Every skater that will take to the ice tonight knows. 

There is one last spot on the National Team left, and Jongin just hopes he has enough in him to fill it.

A warm hand fitting against his own puts a smile on his face and the gentle squeeze Kyungsoo gives him almost makes him blush. 

The gesture is affectionate, as well as borderline inappropriate for the two who claim to be just Coach and student. In fact, they are not sure of their labels anymore. 

There is no denying that something changed last Winter in Hokkaido. The lengths Jongin had gone to retrieve Kyungsoo’s lost necklace was really telling of the feelings he harboured for the latter, and Kyungsoo is fully aware. He acknowledges it on the inside, but he just does not know how to deal with it. Jongin also does not talk about that episode, so that is how they had let the unspoken balloon into what it is today. 

“Thank you,” he says sincerely, squeezing Kyungsoo’s hands back and the back of it with his thumb. He feels so much better already. 

The loud shouts of Kyungsoo’s name forces them apart, and Jongin frowns when he sees Yongwoon and his Coach approaching them. The pair has always rubbed him off wrongly somehow — Beomsoo was a retired skater whose bad reputation preceded him, and there was just something about Yongwoon’s smile and the look in his eyes whenever he greets him that screams fake. Jongin does not think the other skater takes to the public labelling them as rivals well. 

“It’s so good to see you! It’s true then? You’re back and you’re coaching Jongin of all the skaters you could have chosen?” Beomsoo greets Kyungsoo with a hug, but everyone in the vicinity could sense the animosity between the pair. Jongin wonders if they had a bad history together. He also does not miss the condescending glance over and smirk Beomsoo and Yongwoon send his way respectively.  

Of all the skaters you could have chosen? He wants to roll his eyes. They are playing mind games with you, Jongin tells himself. Do not fall for it.  

“Can’t say I feel the same.” Kyungsoo says tersely, backing up a bit to put some space between them. “Good luck to you and your skater later on. Let’s skate cleanly and fairly for once , alright?” The hidden meaning is not lost on all of them, and Jongin can tell from the way Beomsoo’s face hardens that he is preparing to retaliate with snide remarks of his own. 

Thankfully, the sudden appearance of the camera crew throws him off and instead he breaks out into loud laughter and claps Kyungsoo on the shoulder. He is clearly putting on a show, and Jongin wants to laugh himself because apparently Kyungsoo does not give two s about media; he was not even trying to hide his scowl. 

“Come on, Jongin. It’s almost time.” 

A member of staff comes up to them shortly after to inform them to be on standby, and Kyungsoo leads the way back to the edge of the ice. Jongin is skating second out of the field of ten today and he quite likes this order — preferring to just get it over and done with rather than let the nerves build while waiting for the other skaters to be done. They spot Taemin along the way.  

“Taemin! Stop flirting and come over here,” Kyungsoo yells.  

They have not seen the dancer since they arrived at the hall and reported to the holding room. Taemin had yelled something along the lines of “ woo! juicy thighs” and disappeared completely. They could not be bothered to go after him or question his priorities then. 

“I’m back! Missed me?” Taemin asks after prancing over from whoever he was bothering. “Looking good, Jongin,” he lets out a low whistle, grabbing Jongin’s hand to spin him around like a model.  The skater is dressed in a midnight-black laced top and skintight pants that accentuates everything he rather not accentuate; silver tear-shaped gems bedazzling his waist. Even his hair is swept back in a mature, classic gelled look. “So y.” Taemin winks. 

Jongin feels like he is about to combust from embarrassment. His face feels hot and he cannot help but curl his body into himself, his personality too shy to accept a compliment of such nature. 

“Stop teasing him.” Thankfully he has Kyungsoo stepping in to save him. “But he’s right, Jongin… you look really y.” Or not. Jongin blushes even more furiously at Kyungsoo’s words. Oh my god!!! He wants to flail and fling himself off the top of a mountain. “Straighten up.” He receives a hard slap to his back, making his body jerk up at once. “Smile, wait no, smirk. There you go…” 

Jongin thinks his smirk looks stiff and awkward more than anything. 

“Seduce the audience with your magic, Jongin.” Taemin throws his hands out and does spirit fingers at him. “It’s like MOVE was made for you to flaunt those hips and thicc with two Cs—” he makes sure to place emphasis on the last two words “—.” 

The skater’s hands go to cover his at once. They do not look that big in this leggings right? He is quite conscious of how he looks. 

“But I don’t know how to seduce anyone,” he whines out, voice barely audible because he does not want to draw more attention to them. Taemin was already doing a good job at that — distracting everyone in the vicinity from the first skater who had just entered the rink. 

“Just be yourself,” Taemin reassures. “You’re a pork cutlet bowl fatale here to enthrall all in the audience and break their hearts. Sell the story, Jongin.” 

They do not even know where that odd reference came from.

Probably some Japanese anime the dancer is always obsessing over. 

“Don’t think too much into it, Jongin. Just do what you did at Regionals,” Kyungsoo tells him, and that is the last thing he hears before loud music fills the hall and the fans cheer the house down. 

~

I’m a pork cutlet bowl fatale here to enthrall all in the audience and break their hearts. I’m a pork cutlet bowl fatale here to enthrall all in the audience and break their hearts,” Jongin repeats Taemin’s statement over and over again before he comes to a stop in the center of the ice.  Taemin. He knows there are probably better and more appropriate motivational quotes out there, but he is too nervous to conjure them up in his mind. 

He has three seconds before the familiar beats of MOVE start to play, and he makes use of that time to give Kyungsoo one last look. The Coach is parked by the gates to the ice and staring right back at him already, slim shoulders barely visible over the walls because of his height. Jongin could laugh, but he controls himself. 

Where was I? He thinks. Oh right. Pork cutlet bowl fatale. 

And when the first beat drops, so does Jongin’s previous panic. He puts on a mask at once, smirk and seductive eyes coming to the fore naturally. This is it , he tells himself. This is where he either makes it or breaks it. He has been training for years for this stage; he does not want to let himself, and more importantly, Kyungsoo down.

Jongin lands his opening quadruple toe loop almost perfectly in time with the music. The slight wobble on the landing does not affect the rest of his routine much, instead he draws from the energy of the crowd and skates on, confidence growing by leaps and bounds whenever the crowd applauds after he pulls off some intricate choreography and spins. 

There is temptation to look over at Kyungsoo and Taemin whenever he skates pass them at the bend; to seek reassurance that he is doing things right. But he never gives in to it. He has done this routine plenty of times in training and at smaller competitions. He knows he has got this. They better be smiling , he thinks, because he feels more alive than he has ever been; he feels invincible.   

Two other faces that come to mind as he winds up for his final jumping pass are his parents. Jongin knows his mother would be infinitely proud of his achievement today, no matter his scores or if he earned qualification eventually, because simply having the opportunity to perform at such a platform does not come easy. He has already achieved what many others could not. 

How I wish father can see me now , he thinks as he sticks his landing on the quadruple lutz, arms extended to the air in tribute to his mother in the heavens, before launching himself to round off the triple toe loop. He has come a long way to prove to the elder that his dreams are valid. 

The collective roar of the crowd that comes when he slows to a stop and the flowers thrown his way bring jubilation. But when Jongin spots the proud smile Kyungsoo gives him as he makes his way off the ice, he cries. He does not care if there are many cameras documenting this moment (okay maybe his future self will hate him for not reining in the choked sobs and seemingly exaggerated deep breaths he takes to calm himself). 

Kyungsoo lets out a soft “oomph” when he practically launches himself forward to give him a hug at the door. Unsurprisingly, the Coach does not miss the opportunity to make fun of his ugly crying. 

“You have snot on your chin,” Kyungsoo pats him on the back before forcibly shoving him back so they can make their way to the kiss and cry to get his scores. There are almost ten cameras trained on the sofa. Just great for his public image, he thinks. 

Jongin perches himself on the arm of the sofa so he can have Kyungsoo seated right beside him in his wheelchair, while Taemin sidles up to him on his other side. 

“What did I tell you earlier…” Kyungsoo trails off.

“That I’ll do great?” Jongin takes his eyes off the electronic scoreboard to give the other a smile. 

“Yes, you did great.” The Coach returns it. 

And the scores he gets reaffirm that, sparking off another bout of ugly crying. 

“Alright, that’s enough. Wipe your face. No one deserves to see it like that.” Jongin squawks when the towel Taemin throws at him hits his nose. “We still have the free skate in two days. We can celebrate after that.” 

~

“I’m so happy you’re here, Jongin,” Baekhyun greets him with a wide smile and pulls him in for a quick hug. “That quadruple-triple combination you pulled off toward the end of your skate on Monday… Ballsy . You must have pretty good stamina to last that long, huh?” 

“Tell me, Baekhyun, does your boyfriend allow you to make such lewd and ual innuendos to any cute guy you see?” Kyungsoo groans.

The skater cackles before slapping his best friend’s shoulder. “, please. Yixing appreciates cute guys more than me. I get so jealous sometimes. Let me tell you about that time I saw—”

“Is that why you shove your tongue down his throat at every opportunity?” 

“Exactly! Can’t have him looking elsewhere, you know what I mean.” 

“You know you already have him smitten to the bones right, Baek?” 

Jongin barely hears Junmyeon joining in Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s conversation; their voices washing over and growing lost on him, because his mind keeps going back to what Kyungsoo had said earlier.

“You think I’m cute?” He interrupts, a blush spreading across his cheeks quickly. That effectively silences his friends. 

“What?” Kyungsoo turns to him. 

“You said cute guy…” Jongin does not know how to follow up so he points at himself shyly before quickly hiding his hands behind his back. 

“I never did.” The denial comes out fast and furious, but the Coach sends them all an incredulous look when they yell collectively in response, “You did!” 

“I-I… you—” Kyungsoo splutters before putting on a scowl to address Jongin, “Go warm up. Shoo! Where are your skates?” He points in a totally random direction, other hand perched on his hip. 

“I left them in our holding area,” Jongin replies giddily before walking off. “I’ll go get them.” 

“You’ve got it bad,” Junmyeon tells Kyungsoo the second the skater disappears from sight. 

“Can’t blame him,” Baekhyun chimes in. “That boy’s booty is thicc—” he raises a peace sign to his face, “—with two Cs.” 

“What the… are you Taemin ver. 2.0?” 

“Erm… what’s with that question? That beautiful man dreams he looks like me,” Baekhyun scoffs. 

“Never mind!” Kyungsoo quickly dismisses the topic. “Don’t you have to go warm up too? Shoo!” 

“I’m skating last so I still have some time left.” His best friend shrugs. “But I guess we’ll leave you to be alone with your cute boy now.” He exchanges a cheeky look with Junmyeon who nods in affirmation before waving goodbye . 

And that is how Jongin finds Kyungsoo when he returns a couple of minutes later, stewing at a corner with his face still red and mumbling to himself. The Coach visibly startles when he taps him on the shoulder. 

“What took you so long?” Kyungsoo stares out onto the ice, avoiding eye contact. The hall is gradually filling up now, and there are more and more people crowding in the section nearest the skaters’ pen trying to get the attention of their favourite stars. Jongin returns some shouts of his name with polite smiles. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, clutching his skates to his chest. He sees Kyungsoo’s eyes darting to the side to look at him before darting away again, even though he was still facing away. “I thought I left my stuff at our holding area but I found them near the media centre instead.”  

“Media centre?” 

“Yeah, must have left them there after our interview.” Jongin puts down his skates and occupies the space to Kyungsoo’s right. “I’ll start with stretches now.” The Coach hums but still does not look at him, a pensive look now on his face. Jongin can only sigh and drop to the floor. 

Focus, Jongin , he tells himself. After all, he is used to Kyungsoo’s random mood swings. There are better days to dive into the whole complication that is feelings. The muscles around his left ankle are still feeling tight and there is almost a small ache present. Jongin folds that leg and massages it. He hopes it is only temporary and that warming it up will do the trick; he cannot have his past injuries coming back to haunt him at this crucial period. 

~

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo does not hide his concern this time and places his hand on the small of Jongin’s back gently as the skater bends over to tighten the laces of his left skate. “Your landings were a bit sloppy and there was a slight step out during the triple-triple. That’s a big point deduction.” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just need to tighten my skate more.” He straightens up and hands Kyungsoo his blade covers before stepping onto the ice. He hopes he manages to conceal the slight wince that appears when he puts weight on his left leg. 

“Alright—” Kyungsoo leans forward in his seat the second Jongin turns back around to face him. “This is it.” 

This is it. Jongin nods. Overhead, the announcement of his name and the song he would be skating to is made and loud cheers from the audience quickly follows. He bends down and inches closer to Kyungsoo to hear him better. The last pep talk. 

“You don’t have to be nervous, Jongin. You’ve been training hard and preparing well for today. You know this routine inside out. Just have fun out there. You should be proud no matter the result.” 

Quick and to the point — he expects nothing less from Kyungsoo. 

Jongin gives the other one last smile before making his way to the center of the ice. He is, in fact, not fine. That was a lie earlier. There is something clearly wrong with his skates, specifically his left skate, but he cannot seem to figure out what the problem is. Even after tightening his laces repeatedly, he still does not feel that comfortable in it. 

He does not have the time to think about it because the music starts the second he looks up at the crowd. He would just have to it up. 

As expected, the quick tempo and Jongin’s energetic step sequences pump up the crowd from the start. He was honoured to have one of Taemin’s friends, a really famous composer, write this original piece for him. It is equal parts dark and dramatic, and when paired with his smoky eye make-up and red-black outfit, the whole package stuns . 

Jongin lands his opening quadruple lutz, barely. But the crooked contact his skate makes against the ice when he comes down from his jump helps him pinpoint the problem at once — his right blade is slightly loose. He should have known during warm-up; his landings were all over the place, and despite tightening his laces countless times, his skates kept jarring his ankles. It was probably what worsened the ache in his right ankle, which should rightfully have been taken care of with warm-up. This is a huge problem.

He is perplexed because he has always taken good care of his equipment. Unless it was sabotage, there is really no reason why his perfectly fine pair of skates was broken.

Well, there is nothing he can do about it now. He cannot stop his programme mid-way and ask for a redo. Jongin grits his teeth and powers through the rest of the elements — most of his spins are pretty easy on the ankle, and he even lands a quadruple salchow pretty solidly, only because he makes a tiny adjustment on the placement of his feet to lessen the impact, already anticipating pain. The fix was not going to be sustainable though, and he knows that. If anything, it would just aggravate the hurt in the long-run. 

The remaining jump combination at the of the song is what worries him the most — a triple axel, single loop and triple salchow. The transition in and out is so fast, he is not sure he can manage it as well as he does in training with a trashed skate and banged-up ankle. 

Sure enough, he does not recover from the triple axel quick enough, barely tying in the single loop after before popping out of the triple salchow on the first rotation because he did not get enough height under his skates. It felt awful, and it probably looked horrible as well. The hall was mostly quiet apart from a couple of consolation claps after. 

Jongin knows he will most definitely be crying at the end of this skate, and for a different reason altogether from his short programme. 

He manages to squeeze in an unplanned triple toe loop towards the end. He is not sure if that will do much to help his scores, but at least he is really giving it all he can. And as expected, his celebration when the music cuts out is muted despite the resounding claps and cheers he still receives from the audience. 

He knows he had made a promise to be proud of himself no matter the results, but it is hard to ignore the regret he harbours. Jongin bows and makes his exit quickly so the next skater can come on.

Kyungsoo and Junmyeon, he is not sure when the latter had joined his Coach, are already engaged in a heated discussion when he steps off the ice and approaches them. When they spot him, Kyungsoo immediately asks him to take off his skates and hand them over to Junmyeon. 

He knows , Jongin realises. Of course he would notice… and now he’s mad. He hangs his head, thinking that Kyungsoo is mad at him.

“Let’s go,” Kyungsoo says in a curt voice, forcing the skater to follow after him to the kiss and cry quietly, akin to a puppy following after his owner with its tail between its legs after having done something wrong. 

“I’m—” 

The sorry is left unspoken when the other cuts him off and points at the many cameras trained on him while they await his scores.  

“Not now, Jongin.”

~

“You’re an idiot!” Kyungsoo doesn’t let up on his tirade of curses and scolding; he has not stopped since he started half an hour ago. Jongin just sighs and hides his face in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me the second you knew something was wrong? I’m going to kill Beomsoo. This has his name written all over it!” 

“Please don’t be mad at me. I already feel bad enough,” he says in a quiet voice. 

This silences Kyungsoo at once. 

Worried at the lack of response, Jongin lifts his head off his hands and stares at the other questioningly. 

“I’m not mad at you ,” Kyungsoo says eventually, a gentle look now on his face as he wheels himself closer to where Jongin sits at the edge of his bed. “I’m mad at myself for not noticing earlier. If I paid more attention to you instead of turn a blind eye because I was busy being a coward , I would have noticed. I would have stopped you from stepping onto the ice, or at least bargained for a delayed start. There’s no point ruining your future in the sport for this missed opportunity.” 

The Coach takes his hands in his and gives it a light squeeze. 

Jongin thinks his heart just about stops as well. 

“I’m also mad at Beomsoo because this is something he would do. I’ve fallen for his tricks before. I should have known something was up when you said you found your skates at a different location from where you left them.” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Don’t worry though. Junmyeon has already submitted your case to the Board for investigations. We’ll check through surveillance and dig up any evidence that points towards sabotage. They’ll get what they deserve.”  

“Karma already hit them,” Jongin tries for a lighthearted chuckle. “Yongwoon fell not once but twice during his skate,” he points out. 

“Yes, so don’t worry about qualification. I have a good feeling about it.” Kyungsoo smiles, but the smile slides off his face when Jongin shifts his leg to get into a better position and winces. “Stop fidgeting!” he scolds and backs up. “Let me go get you a towel so we can get some ice on your ankle.” Junmyeon and Baekhyun had went to get a whole bag for them after Nationals had concluded. 

“Wait, I can get it,” Jongin offers, concerned that the other would not be able to maneuver around the room properly, but Kyungsoo shoots him down when he makes to stand. He somehow returns with a towel from the bathroom shortly and dumps a huge chunk of ice in it. 

“Put your leg here.” He taps on his lap. 

“What?” Jongin widens his eyes. 

“Put your leg on my lap.”

“I can ice it myself.” 

“Jongin—” and that is the only warning he gets before Kyungsoo takes the initiative to grab hold of his leg and move it to settle on his lap. “Don’t move,” the Coach murmurs, rolling up his sweatpants and placing the ice bag down gently. “Why didn’t you tell me you hurt your ankle before? Thank god Yixing said this is just a sprain.”  

“It just didn’t come up,” he replies. 

“I want you to tell me everything that concerns you and your well-being moving forward, okay?” 

There is a certain intimacy to being in this position, with the person you like tending to you with so much concentration and care. Jongin is pretty sure he is not the only one in the room who can feel the tension in the air. He leans closer and stares at the way Kyungsoo’s fringe fans over his forehead softly, drawing attention to those big lovely eyes. The other also has his lips drawn into a slight pout as he concentrates on applying the ice. 

Jongin positively melts. 

“Everything?” 

“Anything,” Kyungsoo hums absentmindedly. 

“Even matters of the heart?” 

“Matters of the heart? Why did you say it so cheesy like that? Well, if you’re—” The other falters when he looks up and finds Jongin’s face a mere hair length away from his, finishing weakly, “—comfortable enough, sure.” Jongin does not miss the way Kyungsoo gulps. 

This time, it is he who tells Kyungsoo not to move as he closes the distance between them. 

The other does not. 
 

~