Why can’t I say that I’m in love?

I want to shout it from the rooftops

I wish that it could be like that

Why can’t it be like that

'Cause I’m yours

She was used to city sounds. The constant rumbling of engines as cars rolled down the street — the distant wail of sirens — the indistinct chatter of dense crowds as they milled about on the sidewalks — all brought a sense of calm. It was like background noise in that respect she guessed. Unremarkable in the moment, but instantly noticed once gone or changed. 

Due to her job she’d had the pleasure of visiting many cities all over the world. No two were alike. Every place was so unique, be it the languages, the people, the foods, customs, climates, architecture… the list was lengthy. She and Yoohyeon had discussed diversity on more than one occasion. It wasn’t that they didn’t know the world was complex and multifaceted, it was just that actually experiencing the places and meeting the people had a profound impact on the way they understood that complexity. An impact impossible to experience from afar.

That being said, the one thing Minji found that remained somewhat similar was the sound. Lying in bed she pondered this seemingly minute connection. Yes, by and large, no matter how out of place or foreign she felt, the sounds of the city - especially at night - always seemed to summon memories, always seemed to invite her mind back to her childhood in Daejeon, or her current life in Seoul. She’d never really had trouble sleeping on tour for this very reason. Her lullaby remained the same. 

The one thing she hadn’t counted on this time however was…

A massive clanging and chugging slowly got louder and then faded away. She rolled her eyes.

Those damn trains. She wasn’t sure how they’d managed to get a hotel far enough away from the tracks in every single city they performed in except this one but god, those trains were so loud. It was… 5:30 in the morning, and in the relative quiet of the early morning the usual rumble of the trains sounded nothing short of roaring thunder. 

During the day it seemed like they were everywhere in Chicago. Even when they were long out of sight, the noise echoed down the canyon of skyscrapers, creating the impression that you were never too far away. The trains in Seoul were usually a lot quieter.

Yesterday, before their concert, they’d done some sightseeing as a group and filmed themselves to make bonus vlogs for their YouTube channel. Their first tour in America was spent in much the same way and therefore had left them little time to enjoy themselves personally. This time was different. Since their rise in popularity, they’d established themselves somewhat, and the increase in revenue resulted in a number of perks, aside from simply making more money. One of these perks was increased bargaining power with the corporation. As a group they’d lobbied the CEO for a day off in each city they visited — no professional obligations attached. They could vlog or live stream if they wished, but there would be no expectation to do so. Minji thought back to the group’s strategy meeting where they discussed whether they should ask for a chunk of days off, but in one place, or one day off in multiple places. Although a solid block of time was tempting, the girls had collectively decided that seeing each city on their own terms, if only for a day, was too good to pass up. Courageously they’d all marched into the CEO’s office and layed out their argument. They knew he was fair, but also knew he was not very lenient, so none of the girls anticipated the talk being an easy one. True to form he’d been skeptical initially, extending a trip by twice the number of days planned was expensive. Very expensive. It was Bora’s cunning and forcefulness that eventually turned his opinion around. With her hands on her hips she’d confidently told him that it would be good for them to be able to comment more deeply on each city they went to. Their job was to be personable, attainable, beautiful, and dedicated. Well, they had the beauty and the dedication. But personability? How would they connect with potential fans from a culture they only met in the movies? Comedy and boisterous laughter would only get them so far she’d cautioned with a shockingly hard look in her eye.

She looked over at Bora, limbs sprawled. That day Minji had seen a new side of her roommate. One that was all too aware of the role she played and what was expected of her. 

Daylight was breaking now. Well. Just barely. In the dim morning rays of light she could see a dark fog rolling in off the water. A few insane people ran underneath the still lit street lights or dashed by on their bikes. 

The first time they performed here they were nowhere near this part of town. This time around they were staying much closer to the city center, so close in fact that they could see the lake from their hotel window. Funny thing — how the view looked so much like the view of the ocean. You could always see the opposite bank of lakes back home. 

Her mind swam with all the possibilities, no pun intended. There was so much to do, and she wanted to do it all. The day would be all the more exciting because she’d be spending it with Yoohyeon. Somehow it had happened, luckily for Minji, that they both unofficially agreed to turn each of their free days into an opportunity for a date. The unspoken potential of their situation was not communicated through speech, but knowing glances. It was at the forefront of both their minds. She smiled wickedly to herself as she imagined linking arms and casually kissing her girlfriend in broad daylight. How hard could she make Yoohyeon blush if she played her cards right? 

Her heart beat faster at the mere thought, and her mind continued to fill the day with activities. They’d done a little research, but hadn’t made any real plans, preferring to leave their day open to spontaneous whims. Museums weren’t really Yoohyeon’s thing, the girls weren’t lying when they voted Yoohyeon as the least smart among them on that one show, but they were criminally close to the aquarium, and the promise of seeing penguins might just be able to sway her. Then there was the lake. They had no bathing suits, but a boat ride might not be out of the question. Her mind then turned to shopping. They both liked it, they both liked fashion, but did she really want to waste time doing something they could do almost anywhere? Minji wanted each vacation day to be special, she wanted to take full advantage of what each city had to offer, and while they did inevitably end up at a store or two in the other cities, she knew Yoohyeon felt the same. 

Rolling over slowly in an attempt to be stealthy, Minji grabbed her phone from the bedside table where it was charging. The bright screen blinded her - searing her retinas and making her recoil. She quickly dimmed the screen, and began looking around the city on Google Maps. It wasn’t that she was looking for anything in particular, she was just wasting time, and if she somewhat familiarized herself with the layout of everything then that would be a welcome bonus. 

Maybe she should try to sleep some more. Her phone told her that it was just after 6, and there was no set time that she and Yoohyeon had agreed on to meet… She thought about it some more. Well. She really wasn’t tired. The excitement that the day promised was far too strong to let her do anything but close her eyes and lay there, perfectly conscious. With a sigh she sat up and put her phone back. She decided she’d take a shower and prepare her things and then just sit around until Yoohyeon woke up or until Bora woke everyone up as she was wont to do. 

***

She stepped out of the bathroom more or less made up. It wasn’t a work day, but nevertheless Minji had dedicated an absurd amount of time to doing her makeup. Careful and a discerning eye combined to create a product that she was satisfied with, even if it was conspicuously more elaborate than what she usually did on their days off. Supposing that she was being honest with herself, the extra effort was only partially for her own self confidence. The other part was, well, wanting to impress Yoohyeon. It was a need she found surprising at first but she’d had years to get used to it by now. A small chuckle escaped her lips as she applied her lip tint and thought back to the boy she’d dated for half a year in high school and the difference in how she felt getting ready for dates with him. ‘I guess I know the reason for that now,’ she thought to herself sardonically.

Again reaching for her phone, Minji cringed slightly when she realized that more than an hour had passed since she’d entered the bathroom. Opening up Yoohyeon’s chat on her screen, her thumb idled over the keyboard as she wondered if it was too early to send something. 

“Took you long enough.”

“, did I wake you up?” Minji looked apologetically toward her roommate.

“Sort of. I was planning to get up just a little later anyway though.” Bora rolled out of bed and went to the curtains. It was light out and when she drew them open, the bright rays flooded the hotel room and blinded them both.

“Got any plans?” Minji asked while squinting and making a face.

Bora began talking, something about catching a movie or going to a famous restaurant. Minji’s concentration tuned in and out despite her efforts to pay attention. She couldn’t stop looking down at her phone… hoping each time to see the waving bubbles that heralded an incoming message. If she sent something now would it wake her up? Yoohyeon’s phone was usually on silent so it probably wouldn’t be an issue, but then how long should she wait to contact her without leaving a string of unread texts and unanswered calls like a maniac?

“...and well, Siyeon really wanted to see about trying to get pizza, the kind that they’re famous for here, but you know how I feel about cheese. I haven’t checked yet to see what else I could get, but those places usually have other things besides pizza, right? ... Minji? … You here, space cadet?” 

Minji shook her head and saw Bora looking at her, with her head cocked and an eyebrow raised. 

“I take it you’re a bit preoccupied then?” Bora looked endlessly amused.

Minji blushed a bit. Bora had been her roommate for a long time now, and though all the girls were close, being roommates made for a different kind of closeness. Sometimes Bora would make a comment or ask a question that hit the nail on the head, which was saying something because usually she was dense as a board. Searching the girl’s expression Minji felt that Bora knew something, she had a hint of that -eating ‘I’ve got a card up my sleeve’ look about her. 

“I guess…” Minji replied carefully, not wanting to feed her roommate any more ammunition.

“Anyway, the cheese. Like, it’s not like she doesn’t know I don’t like cheese. But I also don’t want to keep her from doing something she seems really excited for on vacation, you know? Would it be weird for me to go there and not order pizza? There should be other, non-cheese related dishes, yes?”

“Yeah, I think so. Pasta and stuff.”

Just then Minji’s phone buzzed. Looking down she saw the text she’d been waiting for. 

“Hey, u up?”

“Yeah, u good to go?”

“Whenever youre ready”

The two agreed to meet in the hall, and then Minji turned her attention once again to Bora.

“Sorry, I gotta go.” She started shoving things into her purse last minute. She wasn’t sure why, but she found herself freaking out a bit, worrying if she had everything she needed to make the day perfect.

“I see how it is. Don’t worry, far be it from me to keep your date waiting.” Even with her back turned Minji could sense the self aggrandizement, like Bora just couldn’t help herself. 

“Uh. Thanks.” It was all Minji could manage to stutter out, too shocked to say anything else. As quick as her legs could carry her she left the room. It was getting too awkward. 

Once outside her gaze fell upon Yoohyeon, leaning against a wall, trying to look casual, but clearly holding tension in her stance. Minji smiled to herself. It was just like Yoohyeon to try to act nonchalant, older, and used to this kind of thing even when she wasn’t. For years Yoohyeon had been trying to handle herself more maturely, to step up and address problems, to be calm and collected in all things. Minji had noticed, of course she had, and it changed her opinion of the younger girl, but sometimes Minji thought to herself that Yoohyeon shouldn’t have to be like that all the time, especially not for this.

“Hey.” Minji called out and gave a wave and a small smile.

“Oh! Minji. Hi. Um. This isn’t too early for you is it? I was kind of worried about waking you up, or rushing you, or… I don’t know. It’s our day off and it's not like we’re in any rush, and I mean, the sun has basically just risen, but to be honest I didn’t really sleep much…”

“Yoo.” Minji reached for the girl’s hand and her thumb over Yoohyeon’s knuckles. “You’re fine. You didn’t wake me up. It’s not too early.” Minji tugged her hand a bit and the pair began to walk. 

“Oh.” Yoohyeon let out a breath. “That’s good.”

Once the elevator door closed and they began their descent, Minji placed her head on Yoohyeon’s shoulder. “And just so you know, it’s okay to be nervous. I was nervous too.”

Yoohyeon seemed to let her words sink in a little. “Was?”