There's Nothing Holding Me Back

Hearts and Minds
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She pulls me in enough to keep me guessing

Maybe I should stop and start confessing

 

Oh I've been shaking

I love it when you go crazy 

You take all my inhibitions

Baby there's nothing holding me back

 

Yoohyeon was in literal pain. She’d laughed so hard for the past three minutes, she thought her face was going to fall off. Her stomach felt like she'd just done five-hundred crunches, and she was exhausted. Splayed across the couch, her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath.

 

“Gonna be crazy now yes, crazy now, neukkyeobwa naui modeungeol…” Minji waved her arms around frantically and Yoohyeon lost it again. 

 

“Oh my god, Minji. You have to stop. I seriously can't take anymore.” Yoohyeon wiped tears from her eyes and tried to sit up. She was going to need something for her nose...

 

Minji had just finished a… liberally interpreted version of “Rainism” complete with interpretive dance. What was worse was the fact that, because she knew all the lyrics, the older girl didn't need to spend a second looking at the screen -- instead she spent the whole song facing Yoohyeon, dancing crazily and singing off key. The fresh memory of Minji doing body rolls while nearly screaming, “I'm gonna be a bad girl, I gotta be a bad, bad girl,” sent Yoohyeon into another fit of giggles. 

 

The older girl sat down next to Yoohyeon, who had at last managed to right herself, and slipped an arm over her shoulder. “My most loyal fan.” She beamed ear to ear. “What would I do without you?”

 

Yoohyeon finally had composed herself enough to make sounds that weren't just sputters. “Minji, are you sure you want to become an idol?” She reached out and patted Minji’s knee, pretending to prepare her for a serious bombshell. “Cause I see a bright future in comedy for you. That was gold.” 

 

“Hey!” Minji gave her an exaggerated look of offense. “I'll have you know I gave that performance my most serious effort!” She stuck her tongue out and smiled. The two then turned back to the remote, leaning in to share joint control. It was Yoohyeon’s turn and hers would be the last song of the night before their time ran out. They had to hurry, and were scrolling through the top charts when Yoohyeon saw one that caught her eye. 

 

“Oh, this one!” Yoohyeon locked it in before Minji could read the English. 

 

“Hey! You chose an English song? Will I even be able to understand it? My English isn't as good as yours you know.” She gave a cute little pout, folding her arms across her stomach.

 

“You should have studied harder in high school, Minji.” Yoohyeon's tone gave a very “ to ” impression. “You'll just have to look it up later.”

 

“God, look at how this girl treats her senior!” Minji threw her hands up in mock outrage. 

 

“But you like it,” Yoohyeon shot back without missing a beat. The tinny intro music began to play. “Actually, you should understand some. The chorus has really simple words. The melody is just fun to sing.” Well she technically hadn’t lied. 

 

Secretly Yoohyeon was a bit at odds with herself. She knew Minji surely wouldn’t catch every word, but how many did she hope for her to understand? If she ended up grasping the meaning of the song would it ruin the mood? If she thought it was just a catchy pop song would Yoohyeon be disapointed? In her current situation, how much of a risk was choosing “Only Girl”?

 

To be honest Yoohyeon was only okay at English. She was not what she’d consider fluent, although her pronunciation was quite good if she said so herself. Over the course of the song she focused on keeping up with the words and actually singing the right notes so much that she tuned her audience out. Only when she got to the last chorus was she confident in her memorization, so she began to dance a little, even turning around to gauge Minji's reaction. 

 

She saw the older girl waving her arms side to side in sync with the beat, mouthing some of the words and smiling. A split-second decision later, Yoohyeon grabbed Minji's hand and dragged her to the middle of the small room. She kept their hands connected as they swayed and side stepped together, surrounded by Yoohyeon’s voice. The last strains of the music died out and Minji gave enthusiastic applause. 

 

“Yoo, all your vocal training has really begun to pay off. That was so good.” She hugged her tightly. “I could tell it sounded really similar -- even if I didn't get all the words.” 

 

How much is “not all”? Yoohyeon shook the thought away. “Thanks, but next time I'm gonna make you pick an English song.” 

 

“Ugh no. I sound like a child when I try.”

 

“A very cute child.”

 

Minji shoved Yoohyeon “You're unbelievable.”

 

“Unbelievably pretty.” Yoohyeon wiggled her eyebrows salaciously before breaking character, unable to stay ‘serious’ in the face of her own ridiculousness. 

 

“Ha! You can't even do it right!” Minji leaned in a bit. “If you wanna do it right, you gotta commit.” She pushed even further into Yoohyeon’s personal space and fluttered her eyelashes, making confident eye contact. Yoohyeon was the first to look away. “Like that! That’s what I’m talking about! You can't give up and be the first one to chicken out or you lose.” 

 

“I'll do better next time, teacher.” Yoohyeon said in a singson

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TomWard
Dear god help me. The chapter I’m currently writing (9) is so angsty. I told myself I was going to try to avoid the typical idol life cliches, yet here I am (not gonna spoil it though). I’ll still do my best to minimize the cringe and bring a realistic, humanizing outlook to the chapter.

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chom_poo9 #1
Chapter 11: omg i love this chapter so much! the feelings and the yearning T__T it is so beautifully written! i don’t know how to express how much i like it but i really really do! my heart drop and rise in sync with yooh. i feel all the pain, anxiety and hope. this chapter is such a good ride. you did an amazing job here ❤️❤️ Thank you so much for the update! Can’t wait for more :)
holdmymilktea #2
Chapter 11: Oh my, not only we did get another update very quickly but one where Minji has finally taken to catching up! (Or well, she has for some time it seems but Yoohyeon has noticed, which is a huge difference.)

The family reunion here... It's tough. On the one hand, you barely see your family that you genuinely want to spend time with them, yet at the same, there is this inevitable mismatch that comes from living appart, the generation gap and deeply ingrained religious beliefs that prevents you to spend it the way you'd want to. It's a break, but nowhere near relaxing, right?

Thank you for this chapter and hope despite the busy times you can get some (real) breaks!
bedofnails
#3
Chapter 10: I love this light hearted/domestic? genre, thank you so much for coming back and continuing this story. I've fallen off JiYoo's track as well nowadays so it's kind of hearwarming to read this and be reminded of how much i adore JiYoo ship
holdmymilktea #4
Chapter 10: Really glad to see an update from you! I was rereading all the chapters not that long ago, with the same amazement as the first time. Still think this is the best work to capture the complex feelings that could (saying could because I can't really know myself, right?) come with both trying to make it as an idol and find fulfillment in your private life. In relation to this chapter, Yoohyeon (and Gahyeon)'s search for recognition as adults has been really showing for the past year or so. And as always, the way you address those topics is really tasteful.

Thank you!
trenat #5
Chapter 10: Welcome back, your story updates are always great even if theyre slow because they jump in time. i agree with you about the fanfics, as dreamcatchers gotten more popular there is more quantity over quality
bedofnails
#6
Chapter 9: I love this :) thank you so much for writing this incredible story:)
LindenDrive
#7
Chapter 9: Glad that Jiyoo pulled through again. I like long chapters; the more the merrier. But whatever works best for your writing will be awesome. The non-linear structure is a neat touch. It's fun to guess at what stage of their relationship they're at, based on what I assume the trajectory of their romance to be. I'm still a happy reader without perfect information, because that's part of the fun :)
holdmymilktea #8
Chapter 9: Once again I'm amazed about your portrayal of the characters! I like that they discussed whether to do the tv show and not just outright accepted it.

Whatever the length is good. I tend to prefer longer chapters (tho not over 9k but it also depends on who's the author, wouldn't be a problem if it's you haha) but if all is said in less words, then so be it.
Actually, i love the fact that the story is non-linear. It has its unexplainable charm to dive into it each update, not knowing where it'll bring me but without fail offering a piece of jiyoo + their hardships as part of DC. Kind of like entering a room with paintings and no one tells you in which order you need to observe them but you can still feel the link between them and the pieces just fall together naturally.
Maybe because then I'm as lost and without control over the story than the characters are...
kasterian #9
Chapter 9: To answer your questions, I personally don't mind the current length of the chapters or the non-linear aspect of the story (as long as the order is clarified somewhere or I could just figure it out myself lol). Although I like longer chaps since they keep me occupied for a bit, the shorter ones are just as enjoyable. I really like how realistic this story is even though it's obviously a piece of fiction. The little moments incorporated from events that the girls actually experienced makes this story even better. This is half unrelated, but I sometimes wish society would just quickly change for the better or that it didn't develop into the way it is now.
JiYooFanatic
#10
Chapter 8: That was so beautiful! Also a little angsty but I like how JiYoo still will be together in this shot. So many emotions written so detailed i got know how they felt. The world needs to change yes T.T