I can’t stand it
Avoiding this fire, growing larger
I take a deep breath 

...

Don’t come closer to me
Don’t wanna see your blood

Her finger tapped relentlessly on the handle of her carry on, the tak tak tak of her nail ticking away the seconds. It was the only movement that gave away the restlessness she felt. The rest of her body stood still as a statue, only her eyes roamed over the sea of people churning through the airport. A bright flash caused her to blink, and snapped her from her thoughts.

With a soundless sigh she searched for the camera. People never stopped taking pictures it seemed. Even at their gate as they stood in line preparing to board, she could hear the soft clicks of shutters and see clusters of people standing across the aisle hoping one of the girls in line with her would turn their way. 

This incessant surveillance bothered some, but she didn’t really mind it, or at least she tried not to. It came with something she had wanted after all -- fame, but it made her a little self conscious; especially when she didn’t feel her makeup or outfit was up to snuff. This was one of those days. She’d woken up that morning and immediately noticed her face was a bit swollen, she had no idea why. Even with her makeup on, she couldn’t be happy with what she saw in the mirror. As the day wore on, she thought the excitement of going to the airport for their first tour to South America was the reason for feeling a little off, but now, standing in line with a tickle in , she was beginning to worry it was something else entirely.

A particularly bright flash from someone with a special attachment suddenly burned into her retinas, leaving ghostlike traces in her vision every time she blinked. She attempted to give a smile to the camera, but because of the surprising disorientation, it may have come out as more of a grimace. Ugh, what was wrong with her? As leader, it was her personal duty to make sure the fans were satisfied, and that as many people as possible felt connected to her and her bandmates. Half-baked, awkward smiles were not going to win over people's hearts. She would have to redouble her efforts. Somewhat reluctantly she lifted her head to try to give the fans a prettier picture.

Just as she attempted to search out the cameras again, someone in front of her shifted a bit, standing in between her and the majority of the hopeful fans. Confusion, gratitude, and something else more complicated mixed together in her heart as she watched Yoohyeon gracefully cater to the cameras -- extending a hand to wave, and incidentally obscuring Minji from their gaze even more. 

The line started to move and Yooheyon subtly lagged behind for a moment, allowing Minji to walk a little in front, again, becoming a barrier between her back and the cameras. She might not have noticed it if she weren't paying close attention to the girl, but lately it was hard not to. 

A month ago, maybe two? It was hard to pin down exactly when, but Minji had noticed a change in Yoohyeon. Little gestures like lending a phone charger, holding her purse, or fixing her hair started to stand out. On their own they seemed trivial, but put together, day after day -- even on their days off -- those small actions started to look like something bigger. It was driving Minji mad. Was she beginning to see things that weren't there? Had she somehow been wishing so desperately for Yoohyeon’s attention that her mind mistook normal, friendly behavior for deeper affection?

These were the thoughts that Minji had taken to dwelling on; it didn't seem to matter what the time of day was, or what she was doing. She could be walking around the company building, getting food, washing her face at night… sitting in the seat of a plane. Increasingly it seemed that her mind found no place out of bounds for thinking of Yoohyeon. 

Peering out the tiny window of the plane she watched the terminal workers zip  around in their trucks and little neon vests. In the reflection of the window she swore she saw Yoohyeon looking at her, but when she turned, Yoohyeon’s attention was elsewhere. 

Across the way Bora was making a fuss trying to get her luggage into the overhead compartment. She was too short to complete the task with anything close to what one would consider ‘ease’, but she was also too proud to ask someone taller like Yoohyeon or herself to help her. They both knew it, so neither girl got up from their seats, electing simply to watch their friend struggle for another half a minute while holding up all the other people in the aisle.

“Wouldn't be so hard if she didn't have such a heavy suitcase.” Yoohyeon quirked a sardonic eyebrow, and Minji could see the mirth on her face. 

“I swear, that suitcase weighs more than half of what she does.” Minji dared to crack a small smile, mostly to herself. The corners of raised almost imperceptibly. She was still unsure how far she could take this newfound familiarity. 

Mercifully, she didn't have much time to think about it on the plane. Sleep was quick to whisk her mind away to a place where she could feel nothing at all, and then she was awake, in America, at LAX, blearily running to the next gate like a maniac because whoever booked the flights didn't think to leave time to go through US security and recheck all their luggage. When her back finally hit the cushioned chair of the plane she had resolved ten times over to exercise more. She was exhausted, but sleeping the entire ride over the Pacific and the adrenaline of nearly missing their connection meant that the next leg of the journey was spent wholly conscious. As always, the food was not good. It wasn't bad, but suffice it to say that Minji ordered a lot of drinks. Perhaps noticing the food situation, Yoohyeon had even offered up her own beverage in exchange for the rest of Minji's meal so the food wouldn't go to waste.

When the pilot finally came over the speakers to announce they were close to arriving in Buenos Aires, she couldn't have been more relieved. By this time she was regretting not eating since she had developed a slight headache -- the blinding light from all the cabin windows was not helping. Yoohyeon gently rubbed her back, a kind gesture, but Minji was in no mood for kindness and felt little gratitude. 

The bustling of people about the plane as they taxied to the gate was honestly a little dizzying. She wished they'd all just sit down and shut up. Minji let out a low breath. Perhaps she really wasn't feeling well. Instead of clearing her headache, it seemed that her long rest on the plane hadn't done anything to ward off the minor sickness that had developed. What was a slight stuffiness in the morning was now a little more bleary, a little more dizzying, a little more distracting. 

“Minji?” 

She wasn't quite at the stage where she needed tissues, but she remembered where she'd stowed a pack in her carry on just in case. 

“Minji?”

What should she eat when they got off the plane? She'd slept through all the food except for dinner on the second flight. She'd also woken briefly to find a glass of seltzer on her table that she hadn't ordered… Perhaps that had been Yoohyeon as well. 

“Minji? Hello? Earth to Kim Minji, do you copy? Over.” 

Minji jumped a bit. 

“Oh god, Yoohyeon, sorry.” She raised her gaze up to the girl who had a questioning look on her face.

“We’re going.” Yoohyeon motioned one hand towards the empty aisle ahead of them, and Minji looked back to see a growing queue of unimpressed passengers behind them. 

“Oh. Oh . Yeah.” She looked around frantically for her carry on. 

“I've got your bag.” Yoohyeon motioned to her side, and sure enough, Minji's pink rolling suitcase was in her hand. Yoohyeon’s own carry on was slung across her back. “Let's go before people really get crazy.”

“Thanks.” Minji ducked her head in embarrassment and scurried down the narrow aisle. Yoohyeon followed close behind.