I Think I

words: 3629

“Hyung, I know your schedule is free and all, but can you stop eating all of my food?” Ryeowook’s pandering tone falls on deaf ears however as Hyukjae continues to burrow into his makeshift cocoon, munching on two-day old pizza.

“I can’t believe Kyuhyunnie was the Genie, how could he lie to us like that—hey!” Hyukjae messily emerges from his blankets as Ryeowook switches the T.V. off and sets the remote just far enough that the blonde would have to get up to reach for it. Huffing, Hyukjae stays rooted in his spot as he sends the second-youngest the most scathing look he can muster: which is somewhere between a vexed kitten and hurt dog he’s been informed. Okay, Heechcul was the one to tell him and an angry kitten can look menacing thank you very little.

“Stop frowning, it’ll make your face even uglier.”

God, what’s with the trend of SM groups having disrespectful maknaes? Sehun wouldn’t treat me like this, Hyukjae thinks sourly. “Leave me alone! I’m a growing boy.”

“Hyung.” Ryeowook’s gaze softens as he sits beside the blonde, hand softly patting the blanket blob; Hyukjae doesn’t trust it one bit. “We both know you haven’t grown since ’05.” And there it is! The cobra strikes. Hyukjae wriggles his toes and scrunches his feet. The utter disrespect he gets from his dongsaengs, truly unbelievable. Who raised these kids?

“Those are some big words coming from the shortest member.”

“I have a pretty face though.”

Hyukjae refuses to acknowledge the pretty decent sized blow to his ego. “You ,” he shoves his pointy toes into Ryeowook’s side, relishing the shrill the younger makes, “and for your information Donghae thinks I am very handsome so there.”

The younger groans in response as he rubs his injury. Always one for overreacting, Hyukjae thinks as the brunette keeps pouting.

“Yea, you guys are really gross we complain about it all the time.”

“’We’? Who is this ‘we’ Ryeonggu?” Hyukjae squints at the smaller man but Ryeowook just lets out a nervous laugh. It’s not like Donghae and him regularly do fanservice stuff. Sure, Donghae’s called him handsome before but he’s also called him ugly just as much if not more. And sure, the idiot always wants to hang out and play together, asks him to do raps for songs he composes even though Donghae is capable of doing it himself. There is that one time too where they just went to Japan on a whim to get ramen. Hmm, they are kind of gross.

“Would you be mad if I told you we had a group chat to gossip about you two?”

Weaving a hand through his blonde hair, Hyukjae sighs. “No, as long as you gossip more about Donghae than me.”

Ryeowook just smiles. Does that mean they do or not, Hyukjae isn’t sure because the next thing he knows the man is hoisting him from the couch and ushering him to the front door. Wow, how is Ryeowook still this strong from the army? Maybe Hyukjae’s just being a real anchovy now.  That’s not really important right now, what’s important is that he’s getting thrown out from his (but not really his) very comfortable couch. As Hyukjae spins around, trying to stop the door from closing, Ryeowook quickly slams it shut, shouting some nonsense behind it.

And that’s how Donghae unfortunately finds him, leaning against the singer’s door pathetically asking to get back in like a disowned dog. It doesn’t get any better when Donghee shows up just a few seconds later, quickly snapping a picture of his pathetic state before Hyukjae can at least try and act cool. “You’re free,” is the first thing that comes out of Donghae’s mouth; although, it’s more out of courtesy than surprise because Hyukjae’s ninety-nine-percent sure that Donghae knows his schedule for the rest of the week. Probably for the rest of his life if he’s being honest with himself. It’s not really much of a problem because he likes knowing that Donghae cares enough about him to memorize his schedule.

“Maybe, what do you want?”

“We’re going to the beach in Busan,” Donghee responds first, smile wide and endearing. “Donghae’s treating me for my birthday present and of course just the two of us would be awkward,” he gestures a large hand between them, “so we were actually on our way to come get you.”

“You had me at ‘Donghae’s treating’,” Hyukjae admits with a mischievous grin. Donghee bursts into laughter while Donghae grimaces, adjusting his large hoodie. “Alright, I guess I can spare some time out of my busy schedule for my friends.”

*

The first thing Hyukjae thinks of as he exits the van is that the ocean will never cease to amaze him. The afternoon sun reflects sparkles of light off the water’s surface, giving it an almost ethereal look to the oncoming waves. Even though they went on a Tuesday afternoon, there’s still so many tourists. It warms his heart seeing kids play and couples walking the shoreline. It’s odd to think how all these strangers were brought together just to see an endless expanse of blue. It’s kind of romantic in a way, Hyukjae thinks with a small blush as his eyes catch Donghae’s expression. The younger seems deep in thought with the way his brows furrowed, and thin lips pursed. Before Hyukjae can tear his gaze away Donghae’s head suddenly turns towards him and for a moment Hyukjae swears he can hear his heart crash into his stomach.

Panicking, he turns toward Donghee who already is fiddling with something on his phone. “H-hyung, the ocean looks really beautiful today right,” he nervously laughs, hoping Donghae didn’t see his face turn red. “What do you think?”

Donghee rips his gaze away from the screen, squints out to the ocean, and looks back down at the blonde before shrugging. “It’s cold as .” Hyukjae swears he can almost hear his inner voice scream, “but it feels like forever since I’ve been to the beach.”

“We went to Indonesia though to film that series,” Donghae finally pipes in.

“That was almost five months ago though, Hae.”

“Truthfully, there was an ulterior motive coming here,” Donghee admits as he starts walking towards the shore. Hyukjae gives Donghae a questioning glance before he follows the larger man. “I want to get used to the ocean more since Donghae wants to get married in Hawaii. And trying to avoid the ocean there might be a little hard, especially since you want to be married by the beach.” The raven-haired man admits, ducking his head in embarrassment. Hyukjae frowns a little at the mention of the wedding but quickly fights back the urge to roll his eyes.

“That’s a great idea, Hyung,” Donghae responds gleefully as he pats the taller man on the back. “Oh, before I forget Heechul-hyung asked me to bring a seashell from the beach! I’ll be right back.” And just like that, Donghae takes off ahead of them, looking very much like a kid as he squats down and digs through the sand. Hyukjae almost can’t believe this is the man he fell in love with, keyword being almost.

He slowly makes his way up on the beach, choosing a spot where the waves barely touch the tips of his shoes. Donghee follows shortly after, giving a gently nudge to the thinner man.

“So, why the long face? Siwon’s supposed to be the only one with a horse face.”

“It’s just…this whole Donghae proposal and wedding planning thing,” Hyukjae admits because if he doesn’t he might just blow up from repressing so much. Which, hey, there’s a thought.

“You didn’t know about his plan to get married in Hawaii?”

Groaning, Hyukjae traces nonsensical shapes and patterns into the sand. “No that’s not it.” He already knew long before anyone that Donghae would want to get married by the ocean like the fish he is. That he always dreamt of going to Hawaii and marrying, because that’s the dream wedding Hyukjae wants too. It’s almost painful thinking about it. Donghae there, all smiles and dazzling eyes as he stares at his groom that isn’t Hyukjae. “Hyung I,” he takes a deep breath and turns to see a very concerned Donghee, “I think I…love Donghae.”

Instead of the surprised gasp Hyukjae’s half expecting, Donghee just stares at him before his mouth slowly turns into a smirk.

“Of course you do,” the elder laughs, “don’t look so surprised. You aren’t exactly subtle about hiding your feelings.” Donghee laughs even louder at the blonde’s gaping mouth, loudly hitting his back as some strangers start to give them weird stares. 

“Y-you know,” is all that the dancer can really get out of his mouth, eyes the size of saucers as he stares out to the ocean. Was he really t