In Which I Find Out I'm the Only Sensible Person in This Group

Rot Your Brain

“I told you, we are not spending all of our gold on food, Momo. We need better armor and weapon upgrades.” As Momo was behind Jeongyeon and I, I couldn't see her expression, but her groans were enough for me to tell exactly how she felt about that.

It hadn't even been two minutes and already Sana and Momo were arguing about how they'd spend the gold they'd get for selling our stuff. It seemed like Sana had the (relatively) better idea: spending the money on bettering their equipment. Momo, on the other hand, was only thinking with her stomach. She wanted to go to a noodle shop inside the game and buy a huge dinner.

I didn't even know you could eat in this game. Not once since I'd started Paracosmos had I felt hungry at all. I didn't know if it was because I had eaten that huge burrito before going to GameStop and meeting Somi, or if it was The Phenomenon ing with my senses again. It was scary to not know.

Momo stuck her head between Jeongyeon and I. “We’ve been walking for a while now. Are you sure you guys aren't leading us into a trap? You know the consequences if that's the case…” She innocently prodded my back with an arrow and smiled at me.

“I promise we’re headed the right way. They probably got far because Jihyo and Nayeon are fast walkers,” Jeongyeon promised, staring at the arrow Momo was holding against me.

Sana stopped us all and pointed past us.

“Momoring,” she hissed, “They weren’t lying. I see them. 10 o’clock. They're carrying a lot of stuff. It'll be easy to surprise them and take all of their stuff.”

Jeongyeon faced Momo and got on her knees, begging her and Sana to not hurt anyone.

“Please, please, don't do anything to them. Just take the stuff and go. Take whatever you want, but promise me they'll be left untouched.” She grabbed Momo's arm and pleaded for her wishes to be heard.

Momo shook her off. “I'll promise no such thing– mainly because we won't even be the ones taking the stuff.”

Sana cocked her head. “So how are we gonna do it?”

Momo looked between Jeong and I, a devilish smile forming on her face. “I’ve decided that maybe it’s best we don’t do it ourselves. How about we send Chaeyoungster and YooTheBest to collect the stuff? Their friends will gladly hand everything over and then our ‘buddies’ here can bring them over. We can then run off with all of it.”

“Good idea!” Sana clapped. “We can watch them from afar to avoid unnecessary conflict.”

Jeongyeon seemed fine with that idea. The farther away these two girls were from her partners, the better.

“Get going. No funny business. Don't forget Sana is an assassin with deadly aim." She chuckled. "And you guys know that already. She's free to fire at will, so if she sees that you're warning them about us, you're dead meat.”

“And don’t talk to each other. No making sneaky plans on your way,” Sana added.

“W-wait, please let me talk to her!” Jeongyeon turned around again and got into begging position once more. “Please.”

Momo sneered and waved her off. “You think I’m going to let you plan on how to avoid handing over your equipment? Shut up and go.”

“Please,” I started, putting my hands together. “I’m new to their guild and Jeongyeon just wants to make sure I’m okay. I– I’m experiencing a problem: I can feel things in the videogame. The arrows NoSanaNoLife shot into me? Terrible. Awful. That actually, physically hurt me. Jeongyeon and I won’t be planning anything, we just wanna talk about how I felt and all that.”

I honestly didn’t think it would work. Why would she believe us? We hadn’t shown that we were worthy of any trust at all, and we could very well devise an escape plan anyway, but it seemed like my words actually got to her.

Her sneer disappeared and used her chin to point at Nayeon and Jihyo’s direction. “Okay. Fine. Whatever. But the second you guys seem like you’re doing something fishy, I’ll shoot an arrow into your brains. Scram!”

Jeongyeon wasted no time and grabbed me, running towards the girls. After a considerable distance was between us and the raiders, Jeongyeon stopped in her tracks and looked back, an oddly amused look on her face.

“How the hell did you do that? You managed to change her mind and you hardly even said anything convincing.”

Ignoring that insult, I shrugged. “Honestly? No idea. I thought it was going to be another case of me rambling on for nothing, but I watched as her demeanor changed– as I talked. Like, sure, I only babbled on like an idiot, but it seemed like she totally understood. You know?”

Jeongyeon frowned, grabbing my arm again and walking toward her partners. “Do you think she sympathized with you? As in, maybe one of the two also feels The Phenomenon. She could have totally understood what it’s like to worry about your teammate.”

“Maybe. She seems a little protective of that Sana girl, judging by the way she made sure we didn’t harm her in the beginning. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. And you’re right. What did she say when she suddenly appeared behind us? 'Don’t lay a finger on her‘? It's totally likely Sana feels The Phenomenon.”

“Cool. Okay, so we know that now. We could use that for later, right?” I asked, my mind already coming up with ideas.

“Totally,” she replied, “we know who’s the better target now.”

“Speaking of feeling stuff inside the games, are you alright, Jeong? When Sana surprise-attacked us with the arrows, you seemed to be in actual pain.”

Jeongyeon shook her head, her eyes focused on the girls that got closer to us with each step. “The game has automatic ‘pain’ reactions set up. Howls of pain, grimacing, bleeding, all of that, it’s a mechanic of the game. My face contorted in agony when Sana's arrows pierced my hand and chest, but I definitely didn’t feel anything. The only way for us to know if their real-life pain sensors are connected to this game...is to ask.” She ruffled my hair and patted me on the back. “Thanks for caring though.”

“You’re my friend now.” I patted her back as well. “Of course I’ll care. I was just really afraid of you feeling the way we do. I can barely handle it when I get attacked. I’ve been thrown against trees, gotten arrows shot through my brains, stabbed in the neck… I don’t think I’ve ever felt this amount of pain in my entire lifetime.”

Jeongyeon slowed down and took a really good look at me. “God,” she whispered, “We really need you to get out of this malfunctioning game soon. All of you.”

 

 

We didn't stop until we caught up to the other half of our guild. I was completely breathless from all of that speed walking and sat down on the grass, allowing Jeongyeon to convince Jihyo and Nayeon to hand over all the stuff without tipping them off.

She didn't though.

“Hey girls, I'm going to tell you something calmly and cooly. Don't react at all, okay? Your lives depend on this.” She stood with her back to the ones that were holding us hostage.

“Okay, what's the problem?” Jihyo asked, an almost natural-looking smile spreading across her face. Oh, she was good.

“Hand over all the stuff. Chaeyoung and I were attacked by two girls. They want all of our tents, armor, weapons, you name it. If we don't give it to them, or if they find out that I'm telling you any of this, they'll most likely kill all of us. They're lower levels than us, but it seems like they've gotten enough gold to purchase good , so they're more powerful right now.”

Nayeon swallowed. “Where are they?”

“Don't look for them,” I answered. “Don't make it obvious. They're directly behind us somewhere, blending in with the grass.”

Jihyo frowned and handed over all the items she'd been carrying. “They're going to sell our stuff, huh?”

I nodded. “They are, but we think it's best to let them take all our stuff. If we fight it, well, you can imagine. Nothing good will come of it. Material possessions come and go, but we can't be killed and separated. Let's go along with their plan.”

Nayeon rubbed her chin. “How are they going to get us from so far away? Why don't we just run for the mountain?”

Jeongyeon shook her head. “They're both skilled with the bow, and it seems like even the longest ranges are no big deal to them. One of them is an Assassin and the other is a Ranger with a Knockback perk.”

“Wait, an assassin and a ranger?”

“Yeah, isn't that weird?” I had noticed that earlier as well but had put it to the side of my memory as it seemed like no one would care about such observation. “Kind of like you and Jeongyeon, huh?”

Nayeon shook her head. “No… that's not what I meant. I met a duo just like that during my search for my girlfriends. Two blonde Japanese girls, right?”

“Uh? I don't know their nationality..?” I scratched my head and wondered where she was getting at. “They’re definitely both blonde, though. Why?”

“Two Japanese girls attacked me while I hid in a cave and stole all the things I had gathered to survive. It was after I died in that crazy cave in the beginning and had to find Jihyo and Jeong. Remember? I told you about them not too long ago.” She shoved all of the stuff she had been carrying into my arms and walked straight towards Momo and Sana. 

I looked to Jeongyeon and Jihyo, wondering if they were going to stop her, but both of them just watched Nayeon stomp away, looking completely lost.

I dropped the stuff and ran after Nayeon, you know, like the only sensible person.

“Dude, where are you going? You really think you can get revenge on these girls? They're super powerful, Nayeon.”

Nayeon shook her head. “They stole my stuff while I was helpless , Chaeyoung. I had a rare weapon and enough food to last me two days. That’s beyond ed up.”

“Listen, okay, I get it. You need revenge or whatever,” I said, trying to appease her. She didn't seem like the kind of girl you wanted to keep angry. “I'm sorry for questioning you. But what if these girls aren't the ones that stole your stuff?”

Nayeon paused. She gave me an unsure look and opened to respond when she was interrupted.

“Hey! Chaeyoungster! What the hell do you think you are you doing? Neither one of you is carrying anything! Are you that desperate for a projectile in your eye socket?”

That was Momo, who, with Sana, stepped out from behind a rock.

“You could have just asked for one, you know! We would have gladly done it!” Sana’s voice was dripping in mock kindness, making the hairs on my skin stand up.

Nayeon’s nose flared up and she stalked towards them, pointing a crooked finger at them. “You! You little sh-”

“-Where have I seen her before?” Momo interrupted to ask Sana, who instantly recognized her. 

“Momo, look! It's the girl that graciously gave us all of her items!” Sana began to cockily walk around us, raising her eyebrows and smiling sweetly. “bUnnie, glad to see you again! Thanks to your kind donation, Momo and I got to eat some delicious stew at an inn nearby. Very kind of you.”

It was obvious they were trying to rile her up, and I thought Nayeon would see through that, but it seemed like her judgement was clouded by her anger. She growled and pointed at them again.

“What are you two doing here? I thought you'd be too busy stealing from the innocent to bother trying to find me.”

Sana rolled her eyes. “Don't flatter yourself. We didn't even know you'd be here. It just so happened that we came across your two friends while looking for more camps to raid. They offered to give us everything they had, just like you did!”

I stepped in, hoping to stop them from making each other angrier with every second.

“Nayeon, okay, calm down. They have a lot of advantages over us, so it's better to not step out of line. You don't want to put your girlfriends in danger, do you?” Nayeon visibly relaxed and gave me a small growl. I knew she wouldn't want any harm to come to Jeongyeon and Jihyo, so I made sure to mention them. “Let’s calmly give them what they want so we can all be on our merry way. They might take some valuables, but I'm sure you'd risk anything for the name of safety, right?” 

I watched as the rest of 3Mix arrived with all our stuff. Now that they were nearer, I had to make sure to be extra careful with my words. One little slip of the tongue and we’d all be in danger.

I tried handing Momo one of the backpacks, but she just stared at it, then at me, then back at the backpack. I continued to put everything down in front of them, not sure what exactly she wanted me to do.

Once we had finished setting everything at their feet, Momo and Sana looked at each other, both obviously not very pleased with what lay in front of them.

“Is this all of it? It's a lot, but you guys could easily be hiding something,” Sana said, using her boot to move around some of the stuff. “We want your weapons, armor, books, food and other miscellaneous items. Only keep the clothes you're wearing.”

I thought I had handed everything over, but as soon as Sana mentioned wanting everything, I remembered that I had the pan flute stuffed into my pants. I pulled it out and rubbed it to make sure it was clean, then held it out for the two girls.

Momo looked at my instrument and burst out laughing. She grabbed onto Sana and mockingly pointed at the pan flute. Sana giggled uncontrollably.

I was confused as hell. Why was it so funny? I checked to see what 3Mix were doing behind me and saw Nayeon hiding a smile behind her hand. Jihyo and Jeongyeon looked as confused as I was.

“Wh-what's so funny? You said you wanted everything! I'm giving you the last thing I had!”

Momo snatched the pan flute and held it up to Sana, dangling it before her like as if it was a simple stick. “She..!? She wants us to do with this?” She struggled to talk through her laughter but eventually controlled herself enough to complete a sentence.

“Chaeyoungster, you’re obviously unaware of how useless this flute is. It's literally worth absolutely nothing! The most you could do with it is use it as paperweight, or to throw it at an idiot.” She held the pan flute with two hands and was about to break it when I snatched it from her and cradled it like a baby.

“Dude, its fine. If I broke it, I'd be doing you a favor. It's a waste of energy to even have it.” Momo tried to grab it from me again and got angry when I pulled away from her and hid it behind my back.

“Chaeyoungster, stop,” Sana warned, “it's useless. Only the Bard class knows how to use instruments, and everyone knows that Bards are THE most useless class of them all, which is why there isn't a single Bard in this game.”

I frowned. “How come they're looked down upon? There's nothing wrong with knowing how to play instruments. They're fun and relaxing…”

Nayeon gently grabbed my shoulder from behind.

“Chaeyoung, they don't do anything at all. The instruments don't even play music. It's like they're just props. That's why no one has chosen to be a Bard. They’re fake and, besides, Bards take too long to learn a different skill besides playing an instrument. It's not worth it. Hand it over.”

Sana whispered something in Momo’s ear. After that, Momo reached for the pan flute and said “Yeah, not worth it. So hand it over. Right. Now.”

I pulled away again. “If they're so stupid, why do you want it all of a sudden? Isn't it better to just throw it away?”

Fast as lightning, Momo pulled her bow seemingly out of thin air and had an arrow already notched, aimed directly at my head.

“Hand it over, Chaeyoungster.” She then aimed her bow at my friends and winked at me. 

“Maybe this will be a better reason to give it to us. You wouldn't want your friends to get hurt, would you?”

I furrowed my eyebrows. What was happening? One second she was calling the pan flute useless, pointless and a waste of space. Now she was threatening to kill my friends over it? 

Jihyo whispered “Chaeyoung, what are you doing?” behind me. I knew I was worrying my friends, since their lives were on the line, but I felt like it would be a mistake to hand it over to the girls holding us all hostage. Momo had taken sudden interest in it, meaning it actually did hold some value.

Sana grew tired of me not letting them have it, so she stepped forward, brandishing a knife to fight me if necessary.

As if by instinct, I raised the pan flute to my lips and blew as hard as I could. The pan flute let out a pathetic tweet that was really only dangerous to my pride.

Momo winced, covering her ears. “What the– why did you do that?”

How did you do that is the better question,” Sana added, looking over at Momo worriedly. “Those things aren’t supposed to make a sound…”

I heard someone behind me say “Screw this!” and saw a blur run in the Japanese girls’ direction. I heard Jihyo whisper something, so I spun around and found that Nayeon and Jeongyeon were nowhere to be found. Jihyo stepped in front of me, still whispering nonsensical things.

Sana looked around in confusion before quickly raising an armored arm in defense before Jeongyeon could sink her blade into her ribs. 

Momo roared at the sight and tried to pull out her bow, only to lag a bit and have it knocked out of her hands by two small bullet-like things. She looked around crazily, not knowing where they had come from. She held her hand to her chest, shaking in pain and, when she stopped cradling it to check how it was, it was throbbing, every now and then turning a sick green color. Her eyes grew in size. “Status effects! Dammit!”

Jeongyeon and Sana were at it with blades, but it was clear, even to my untrained eyes, that Sana hardly had any practice with anything like it, because she was striking with what was obviously less skill than my friend. Jeongyeon was so fast that she seemed to lunge once but damage Sana twice, and in less than a second the Japanese girl found herself on the ground. Jeongyeon raised her arm to cut Sana deeply, but Momo swooped in and threw herself in front of Sana, taking so much damage that her HP bar was almost completely empty. 

Jihyo had stopped whispering by now and I saw Jeongyeon was glowing, like as if she was covered in bright gold glitter. In the corner of my eye I spotted a nearby tree that had the same effect above it. Nayeon’s hiding spot, most likely.

How long had they been glowing like that?

Sana screamed after seeing Momo’s HP and tried entering a menu, probably to find a healing spell, but a solid hit from Nayeon’s crossbow to her shoulder stopped her from doing so. A small banner that read Critical! could be seen above Sana, letting me know that it would lower Sana’s HP significantly as well. 

Already, it was clear the small battle was almost over. Both girls were at less than 20% of their health points, their wounds turning green every other second. They were completely at my guild’s mercy.

Jeongyeon put her blade away and checked her health real quick. Satisfied, she pressed her boot into Momo’s chest and shoved her down, the girl in question falling over without any resistance. Sana whimpered and held Momo in her arms despite her shoulder wound.

“How did you do that?” The fear in her eyes was evident. “We have better weapons than you!”

Jihyo stepped closer, eyeing them carefully to make sure they weren’t pretending to be too hurt to fight. “I’m a warlord. I have a bunch of perks, but my favorite is the one that lets me boost my guild’s critical hits if I manage to finish the Inspiring Words chant.”

Nayeon appeared out of nowhere and continued for Jihyo. “You might have better weapons, but our stats are better than yours. If we compared ourselves without any armor or weapon bonuses, we’re stronger than you. So Jihyo’s boost was more than enough to get you to where you are now.”

“Plus, you guys were so focused on Chaeyoung that we also had somewhat of an element of surprise,” Jeongyeon said as she opened one of our backpacks on the floor, pulling out some rope. “Thanks, Chaeyoung.”

I felt like a lost little kid. All of this happened before my eyes and I still couldn’t really process it at all.

“Maybe instead of only focusing on long range weapons, like your bows, try leveling up in another type as well. Melee fighting is commonplace in these type of games,” Nayeon commented calmly as she took some rope from Jeongyeon and walked toward the two girls on the floor. “I had to learn that the hard way not too long ago.” She looked at me and I remembered that night she spent in the castle fighting hordes of skeletons.

Sana and Momo said nothing as their hands were tied behind their backs, ‘so they can’t heal themselves’, Jeongyeon said, and watched as we shouldered our bags and filled our arms with camping equipment.

“Why aren’t you killing us?” Momo asked darkly, her head lowered but her eyes trained on us. She didn’t look so scary when she turned green though, her wound’s status effect spreading throughout her body.

“I shot both of you with poisoned bullets. You’ll die eventually,” Nayeon said, turning her back to them, looking at the mountain that we were still planning on going to.

Sana bit her lip. She seemed like she wanted to say something, but decided against it. Instead, she crawled as best as she could toward Momo, who was more hurt than she was. By this time, Momo seemed to have less than a few minutes left before the poison effect took her life. Sana was probably terrified of losing her partner.

I tried turning my back to them, but an imprint of Sana’s fearful eyes was burned into the back of my head. 

“Don’t,” Jeongyeon said, resting a hand on my shoulder. “I’m not a mind reader, but I know what you’re thinking. We can’t help them. They tried to take our stuff, so the least we can do is leave them alive– but defenseless.”

“But why won’t you kill us?!” 

Jeongyeon and I turned to see that Momo had gotten up and was stomping her way toward us. She was completely weaponless and bound by her wrists, but she still looked menacing enough for me to hide behind Jeongyeon.

“Do you want me to kill you?” Jeongyeon asked, an eyebrow raised.

“I just don’t understand! If you killed me, you’d get more EXP than you’d get from fighting a troll! You’re stupid if you pass that up!”

Jihyo shrugged. “I don’t like to play like that, and neither do my friends. We’re playing this game to have fun and go on adventures, not to ruin other people’s experience. Guess we’re stupid.” 

Momo’s lips were a thin line. “It’s fun to raid and kill. It’s part of the game, isn’t it?” 

“Momoring, stop.” Sana wobbled to us as well, total defeat written on her face. She winced as she turned green again. “Why do you want them to kill us so badly? It’s gonna hurt, for real.”

“So you guys feel it too, don’t you? The Phenomenon.” I felt braver and stepped close to them. 

“The what?” Momo asked angrily.

“The Phenomenon! It’s what we call it when we feel things that we aren’t supposed to, like damage within the game!”

Sana nodded, looking pointedly at Momo, who seemed like she wanted Sana to not speak another word. “Oh, yeah... I remember you telling us that earlier. We are. Experiencing that too, I mean. That’s why I’m telling Momo to stop trying to get us killed. We’ve saved the game a few times, so if we die we won’t lose too many levels, but we don’t want to go through that torment again.”

“Nayeon!” I turned to her and shook her. “Your poison damage must be hurting them a lot! Heal them!”

“No way!” Nayeon shook her head, pulling out the map and walking toward the mountain. “We don’t know if they’re faking it. I think everyone in this game, or at least, in this server, knows about the Phenomenon. They could be lying and trying to get us to feel pity for them.”

“Definitely.” Jihyo’s eyes shifted to Momo. “If they really did feel the Phenomenon, Momo would definitely not ask us why we didn’t kill them.” She followed after Nayeon, pointing at the mountain to signal Jeong and I to follow as well.

I looked back at the Japanese girls, who seemed to be having a conversation with their eyes. Sana looked more afraid out of the two, pleading with her eyes. Finally, she got to Momo, who shouted for Nayeon and Jihyo to stop walking.

“Please! Wait! T-take Sana with you. Heal her and let her be part of your team!”

Jeongyeon and I looked at each other, thinking the same thing. Sana is the only one experiencing the Phenomenon.

“That’s not what I wanted!” Sana screamed at Momo, “I don’t want you to die! Let’s both go with them! Set aside your pride for once, you dummy! They can teach us so much, Momoring!”

Momo shook her head. “They won’t want m–“

She stopped when she felt the rumbling too. The rocks on the ground were bouncing around to and fro, and soon it felt like an earthquake was happening.

“Wh-what’s going on?” Jihyo ran to Jeongyeon, who beckoned Nayeon over. “I didn’t know Paracosmos had earthquake mechanics.”

I felt a familiar fear crawl up my legs and make a home in my heart. I’ve gone through this once, not long ago. When? I couldn’t remember.

The rumbling got so strong that I fell over, and not a moment too soon, because a gigantic mass of white and orange fur ran past me in the blink of an eye. It was so close to me that I felt the heat emanate off of it.

It ran straight into Momo, who went flying and landed right back where she had been standing. Sana fell over and screamed. I gasped, watching as the green part of Momo’s health bar was dangerously close to the end. Not thinking, I ran to her and quickly pulled up the spells menu, equipping the healing spell and trying my best to aim it at Momo while still looking around trying to find the source of the shaking earth.

I heard a scream behind me, and it sounded like Jeongyeon. Panicked, I finished healing Momo, who was now at 50% health, and I gaped in my friends’ direction as I watched a giant three-headed beast collide into them like bowling pins. I watched as the three of them flew into different directions.

“Gucci! Back!” A sharp whistle followed, and it struck me that I’d heard that sound before. It was all coming back to me.

I pulled up the spells menu and tried to quickly finish healing Momo, but watched in terror as text appeared in front of my eyes:

No MP!

Sana gasped at something behind me and I turned my head to find two girls on horseback galloping directly at us.

A quick glance at their usernames was all I needed.

ChocoChewy and DugunDubuDugun galloped toward us, the latter’s eyes set on… Sana?

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rottwhyler
Shoutout to user iNeedRomance2 for warning Chaeyoung that this is indeed a trap :0 Looks like she'll bear that in mind........

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iNeedRomance2
#1
Chapter 13: I'm a freaking clap of thunder who can break through the 4th wall!!! Great update author-nim!!!!!
LeYaoguai #2
Chapter 1: wah
iNeedRomance2
#3
Chapter 12: it's a trap!!!!!!!
iNeedRomance2
#4
Chapter 11: wow. I actually just found this story and it's really good. the eay you write makes me feel like I'm inside the game myself, minus the brain rotting of course. so this is like a SAO/Log Horizon game except the players can actually log out. hmmmm. anyway can't wait for more!!