I gripped the railing for support, my face crumbling. As much as I wanted to tell myself it wasn’t real, the reality hit me. Hard. I sunk to the cold ground, silently sobbing as it got hard for me to breath.

My phone rung. I fumbled to decline the call but it was too late.

“Who’s there?” Jungkook, MY boyfriend, broke the kiss he was sharing with none other than my best friend, Sarang.

“C’mon Kookie, there’s no one there.” Sarang said after looking around behind her.

“It sounded like a phone ringing.” His brows furrowed as he walked towards the door I was hiding right next to.

I slowly got up, not making a sound. Taking my boots off to make sure they didn’t hear me, I wiped my tears and ran away.

I got into my car and drove out of the parking lot. As I was about to take a right on the street, I finally felt the warm tears that were uncontrollably streaming down my face. Emotions were taking me over. I was suffocating. I wasn’t in a state to make it all the way back to my home. My brain wasn’t working properly. Nothing was.

Cars were honking behind me. The traffic signal was green. I couldn’t move. I just sat there.

A young man wearing a mask and a pair of sunglasses walked over and knocked on my window. .

I opened my window, forgetting to wipe my tears. His face was too blurry to make out.

“Hana-ssi?” I was surprised, how did he know my name? I hoped that he didn’t know who exactly I was. He handed me a tissue. I took it and wiped my tears.

“Taehyung-ssi?” My eyes widened.

“Yes, are you okay?” He didn’t wait for me to answer his question. “How about you drive till the convience store over there? I’ll join you there.”

I nodded my head. He patted my shoulder and walked back to his car.

Once we were at the convience store, he told me to wait in my car and went to go get something from the store.

He knocked on my door and I opened it. He held out a cup of ramen and a pair of chopsticks. He knew me well. Whenever I was sad or feeling down, I would eat some ramen and then work out for a while to burn the calories of the ramen.

I gestured for him to get inside as it looked quite chilly outside. We ate our ramen in silence.

“Thanks.” I called out as he was about to get into his car. “It really helped.”

He smiled. “Nothing better than a cup of ramen to make life easier.”

Wow. His rectangle shaped smile was kinda cute. Wait. WHAT?

I closed my eyes and shook my head a few times to get those type of thoughts out of my head. I sighed.

 I could not deny that Taehyung had just been an angel to me. I was freaking smiling even though I just saw my boyfriend cheating on me with none other than my best friend. The thought that Jungkook was cheating on me made me want to start crying all over again. Maybe after I got home. For now, an emotional playlist would have to do.

The next day:

I woke up with a terrible head ache, a soaked pillow, and bedsheets that were wet at the top. I wondered why. Then, I realized I spent the whole night crying until I eventually fell asleep.

For the time being, I didn’t want to face the world but, I didn’t really have a choice. We had a fan sign today and then a joint concert with bts later in the day. I dind’t want my fans to pay for a mistake someone else had made so, how was I supposed to face my boyfriend and my bestfriend, both who were(and still are) as important to me as family, both who have cheated me.

Just thinking about the grueling day in front of me made my head throb again. I was going to this for the fans and for me. Hopefully performing and seeing my fans bright faces would cheer me up.

I slowly pulled the comfy covers off of myself and looked down, searching for my house shoes. As a finally found them, my heart broke again. They were Cooky themed slippers that I had gotten from Jungkook on Valentine’s day, not too long ago.

Looking around my room, I realized that much of my decorations were somehow Jungkook related. I bit my lip in frustration. I did NOT want reminders of him all around my house.

However, my unnies would defiantly sense that something was up if they saw me throwing out all the presents I had received over the years from Jungkook. Afterall, we’ve been in a relationship for six years, yet he threw it away so easily.

I also had a lot of precious bts merchendize that I had collected ever since their debut, I definitely didn’t want to throw those away, those plushies, photocars, posters, and other merch held many memories for me. Memories of a big chunk of my life.

I walked over to my bathroom and took a look at my face. My eyes were puffy and red and my lips were chapped with all of the frustrated biting I did. My makeup unnie would definelty notice that something was up if she had to apply more makeup than my usual of foundation and basics. I ran a hand through my tangled hair and then proceeded to grab a bunch of skin care products to get my skin in at least a little bit better state than it currently was in.

After two face masks and cleanser, I walked over to my huge closet, I needed an outfit for the fansign. I picked out a cold shoulder, fuzzy sweater along with a pair of faded jeans and then took a warm shower.

As I grabbed my phone and purse and opened the door, I saw my all my unnies seated at the table, enjoying breakfast.

“Hana-ah, you’re late.” Sarang unnie pouted. I avoided her gaze. How could she talk to me like nothing had happened? Oh, right, she didn’t know that I knew that she was a traitor.

I playfully stuck out my tongue, concealing all the emotions that I was feeling, instead acting like my everyday self; playful, happy and cute, basically a walking ball of sunshine as my members and fans called me.

I walked over to the counter and poured myself a glass of fresh orange juice, though I wanted to have enough energy for the big day ahead I decided to only consume liquids so that I would be able to have an empty-ish stomach for the day.

As we were finishing up our breakfasts, our manager walked into room with a huge smile on her face like always.

“C’mon girls, it’s time to go! Grab your stuff and get into the cars.”

We all quickly gathered up our necessary belonging and got into our assigned car. Luckily, I wasn’t paired with Sarang Unnie for our car rides, I was alone which was kind of sad but also relieving in my current situation.

I just stared out the car ride for the whole duration of our trip since I knew that my driver wouldn’t bother me and ask why I was being so quiet. I unknowingly drifted asleep and was suddenly awoken because of my driver suddenly hitting the brakes.

“What?” I mumbled looking out the window and then realizing that we had arrived to the fan sign. location. I could see our loving fans already lined up even though there were still many hours before the fan sign actually started. I got out of the car and walked over to my unnies and then we were escorted into the dressing room.

After finishing up my fan sign, I gathered all the gifts that our fans had lovingly given to me. I sometimes wore/used them but since I treasured all of them I safely arranged them in my room as each one was a different, but equally special memory to me. My fans had recharged me with their smiles and their words of support. I felt ready to take on the world right now!

The crew packed up and then we got back into the cars and we were driven to the concert venue. There, our microphones and stage costumes were all ready along with our personal stylists and make up artists getting ready to get us ready after our rehearsels. Absentmindedly, I walked onto the stage, forgetting that we weren’t just doing a normal concert by ourselves. I had my mic and I was ready for rehearsels. I was always determined and focused during rehearsels since the concert had to be perfect for our fans.

As I was standing there, fiddling with the hem of my sweatshirt, waiting for my unnies to get ready, I felt arms hugging me from behind tucking me into a warm hug.

“Eek!” I shrieked. I immediately loosened the arms around me and turned around with an angry glare on my face coming face to face with surprised, innocent looking Jungkook.

“What?” He whined since I was just anglrily glaring at him without even greeting him.

“Get. Away. From. Me.” I gritted my teeth, taking quick steps backward, looking anywhere but his face.