The hand feels cold in his grip and it’s like they’re in a horror movie, their steps on the wet grass echoing through the foggy morning air. Jongdae looks down at his feet to prevent stumbling and to avoid to look at the man at his side, in hope to evade the unavoidable. Because if he’d look at Minseok now, he’s sure he wouldn’t be able to keep his tears at bay. Jongdae knows he’ll be crying enough when he’s back home and he plans to keep it that way - Minseok deserves an unstained farewell. 

They almost reached the portkey by now. There are whispered goodbyes lingering in the air by the few couples standing around the small watering can. The grip around his fingers tightens and Jongdae comes to a halt.

“Are you mad at me for accepting the offer?”

Yes. Absolutely. Definitely.

Jongdae stays silent.

“Please look at me, Dae.”

But Jongdae doesn’t have the strength to do so. His eyes stay focused on the small puddle of mud collecting under his shoes. A heavy sigh fills the silence between them. 

“Dae …”

“I know you want to go.” The words feel heavy on his tongue. “But … I miss you already.”

Their intertwined fingers get separated, but Jongdae gets no reason to miss them - in the next moment, he’s embraced by sturdy arms.

“Oh, honey …”

Minseok’s voice is muffled, but the shaking of his voice says enough. The coat under Jongdae’s chin is damp due to the foggy air, but he nuzzles his nose into the fabric nonetheless. Maybe a stray tear won’t be noticed this way.

They stay like that for some minutes, savouring and memorising the feeling of each other, the warmth of a beloved in their arms. Jongdae sighs - he is going to miss this. Minseok.

“Dae?” The whisper is quiet, a puff of hot air against his ear. He hums in response. “Promise me to take care of yourself. I know you, Jongdae. Try to eat healthy things okay?”

The concern in Minseok’s words brings a smile to Jongdae’s lips.

“I will, Hyung.”

Jongdae doubts he’ll stay true to his words, though.

“Jongdae, I’m serious. Please eat something different than instant noodles - Merlin, get Baek to cook with you to make it more fun.”

“Are you surrendering your spotless kitchen?”

“Gladly, if it means you’re eating healthy.”

A sigh leaves Jongdae’s lips.

“I promise, Minseok-Hyung.” 

His words get sealed by a pair of lips on his. The kiss is tender yet somewhat desperate - the knowledge of their dawning separation leading them astray on the lane of memories. Jongdae's left hand finds its way to Minseok's cheek, while he feels a familiar touch in the small of his back. Jongdae doesn't know how long they stand there - embracing, kissing, whispering. In their own universe, sunken in the depth of the stars between them. 

But the voice of Minseok's coach cuts into their shared moment of connection. Jongdae squeezes his eyes, the sudden interruption reminding him of the unavoidable. 

"Hey… " Minseok sounds as shaken as Jongdae feels, the grip on his waist strengthens. "This is no end, we will see each other in three weeks."

"I know…" - but only for some hours and then? Two months more without the love of my life.

Jongdae's lashes flutter at the feeling of a warm kiss on his cheek. He sighs. 

"Please, Minseok." Jongdae opens his eyes and meets Minseok's affectionate gaze. "Promise me something as well - stay safe. I know, you don't want this opportunity go to waste, but it's no use if you end up at St. Mungo's. "

Minseok’s smile is sheepish, his thumbs rubs the fabric of Jongdae’s coat.

“I’ll give my best not to get injured,” He nudges Jongdae’s nose with his, “I promise, Dae.”

Pleased by the answer, Jongdae smiles - his lips curl and his eyes scrunch up. He hears Minseok’s breath hitch.

“You are so beautiful …” It’s merely a whisper. “I will miss you so much.”

Jongdae’s cheeks grow warm, but his heart cries. His next words are choked.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

With a last look at the empty grass spot, Jongdae turns around with drooping shoulders. He is one of the last to leave the meadow, most relatives left right after the portkey disappeared. His steps echo through the foggy morning air. Alone. A deep sigh escapes his lips.

The Quidditch Practice Camp Minseok is going to follows a strict rule of security - mainly to prevent unofficial information to be leaked to reporters. It’s a big thing, several international teams are participating and hosting three weeks of practice at their respective Quidditch pitch. The first team is Minseok’s, so he’s in the area but instructed to live in a crew accommodation with the other players - to encourage building connections after the daily practice ends. After those first three weeks, the Camp’s host changes and Minseok will have to leave the country. They are allowed only one visit before leaving and going into a two months communication lockdown. Jongdae understands why they do so, but it doesn’t mean he has to like it. He hopes that it’s worth it, knowing well how important the outcome could be to Minseok. But for that, he’ll have to wait almost three months, only lightened by the visit in three weeks.

Three weeks.

They'll see each other in three weeks - but Jongdae already feels lonely and it hasn’t even been half an hour since Minseok left. He doesn't want to imagine the empty feeling of living in their silent flat, sleeping alone and having too much time to himself - for almost three months.

He fears the feeling of separation in his heart. 

The physical distance between them turning into an emotional one.

Losing Minseok.

Tears threat to fall once again and Jongdae gives his best to hold himself together for a bit longer. He dabs the corner of his eyes with the damp fabric of his coat, while his feet find their way to the parking lot. His mother is waiting for him in her car and he doesn’t want to bother her more than he already does with driving him around.

Only when Jongdae enters his flat, keys put onto the designated plate with a clink and shoes tucked away - he allows himself to let go. He doesn’t get farther than the doorframe leading to their kitchen, his knees buckling and sight blurred. 

His sobs reverberate through the silence and tears escape, burning a path down high cheekbones. The coat feels heavy on his shoulders, adding to the invisible weight bruising his heart and dragging him down to lie on the floor. His left shoulder protests, but Jongdae just stares at the wall, hands limb and outstretched in front of him. But the wall is just as empty as he feels, so with his eyes squeezed tight to shut out the world - Jongdae allows himself to wallow in his sadness.

But it’s not for long until there’s a nudge at his left hand, a wet nose tickling his fingers. Brown, teary eyes open to meet feline ones and they remind him so much of Minseok. Not only because they resemble his eyes, but also because the man adores her and Tan is just as loyal. 

And now she’s his fingers, trying to calm Jongdae in place of her master.

“Come here, Tannie…”, he croaks and sneaks his hands under the cat’s belly to guide her closer. Usually, she wouldn’t hesitate to scratch him the second he moves her, but Tan seems to know he needs someone close.

Lying on his side with a purring cat in his arms, Jongdae’s sobs slowly ebb down into silent tears - wetting the soft fur tingling his nose.

His stomach growls in hunger, but Jongdae isn’t in the mood to get up and cook himself some food. Or, well, heating the Chinese take-out from yesterday. Baekhyun would complain about his lack of healthy food, but his last visit to provide new ingredients to cook with was a few days ago and going out to buy them themselves … Jongdae sighs. He isn’t in the mood for a lot of things, mainly the things he’s not used to do alone. Cooking, grocery shopping, leaving their flat for another reason than work and the one thing crushing Jongdae’s will - sleeping.

He’s lying on their couch, Tan nestled between his feet and in the middle of a movie. A wine glass in one hand, his phone in the other and a blanket failing to keep him warm while Jongdae’s waiting for the exhaustion and the alcohol induced drowsiness to knock him out - hoping for a night without waking up every two hours, searching for the missing source of warmth and curling in on himself when Jongdae remembers Minseok’s not there.

The last two weeks were difficult for Jongdae, not used to share the flat with no one but Tan and himself. Despite seeing people during work five days a week and Baekhyun’s short visits - Jongdae feels lonely. Minseok became such a big part in his life, that his absence feels like Jongdae isn’t complete any longer. 

He misses their shared calm afternoons or evening dates. A movie came out a few days ago and Jongdae would like to watch it with Minseok - but going to the cinema on his own instead won’t improve his mood. He could ask Baekhyun, but his friend is busy keeping watch of the shop since Madame Malkin caught a flu. Jongdae doesn’t want to bother and ask his family, his mother is using her sparse vacation days to travel and Jongin is busy preparing his current play. A sigh leaves Jongdae’s lips, he’ll have to watch the play without Minseok at his side as well. 

It’s a bit ridiculous, how Minseok’s absence renders Jongdae incapable of enjoying things on his own. But all the times before, Minseok was there to listen to him at the end of the day and his plush lips would stretch into a smile, when Jongdae stumbles over his own words - too excited to describe to Minseok how he spent the day.

But there’s only Tan listening to him rambling now and it just isn’t the same. Her slanted eyes don’t make it easier not to miss her master and Jongdae can’t wait for the weekend. Instead of actual cat eyes, he’ll be able to see brown feline eyes and kiss plush lips. His heart beats faster at the thought of seeing Minseok again.

Oh, the weekend visit.

Jongdae will have to take a portkey to get to the official meeting place of the Quidditch Training Camp, but his usual aversion against taking magical transportations is overshadowed by his joy to see Minseok. It’s another reason for him to hope for the wine to knock him out. Jongdae’s eyebags are dark enough to worry his young pupils and his heart aches, when he imagines how Minseok will react when he sees Jongdae like this.

It’s also the first thing Baekhyun remarks when he visits the next day, unannounced as usual. But Jongdae feels too drowsy and doesn’t look up from his work in the kitchen to properly welcome him. He hears how Baekhyun comes closer and the other’s bags rustle when he puts them onto the kitchen table. Jongdae grimaces at how close they are to one of his books.

“You look like a werewolf after a full moon, DaeDae.” More rustling, a chocolate bar invades his vision. “Here.”

“Chocolate is for when …” Jongdae doesn’t end his mumbled sentence, shaking his head instead and taking the chocolate. He looks up in time to catch Baekhyun sending him a pointed look before the other turns around to look through the fridge. Its humming reverberates through the small kitchen.

“I know, but you could use some happiness. How can this be so empty?” A sigh. “No wonder you’re looking like a skeleton.”

“Jeez,” Jongdae puts the chocolate aside and shoves the bags farer away. “thanks, Baek.”

“But I’m here to change that, don’t worry.” Him saying that doesn’t really help Jongdae not to be concerned, so he raises his gaze again and keeps his eyes on Baekhyun. The other turns around and starts to unpack his bags, revealing fresh food - mainly vegetables and uncooked rice. “Look, DaeDae.” Baekhyun raises a carrot above his own mop of red hair and twirls around, only to end up facing Jongdae with a bright grin. “Healthy fairy Baek is here to save you!”

Jongdae shakes his head once again, a small smile on his lips. It falls a second later though, a thought coming to his mind after all this time.

“Did Minseok ask you to do this?”

“You mean making sure you’re eating well by cooking together?” Baekhyun waves the carrot around. “Of course. And since the magical locks prevent me from using alohomora, he also said I’m allowed to use my chopsticks if you refuse to let me in. So don’t you dare barricade that door, understood?”

Jongdae only nods, knowing well there’s nothing getting in the way of Baekhyun when he wants to open a door. It’s almost scary how he’s able to do so - no matter if magic is involved or not, chopsticks being his favourite weapon to get his ways with locks. 

“Good.” Baekhyun points at Jongdae with his carrot, waving for him to get up. “So, move and help me cook. I want you to eat well the next days. Gotta pamper you and get you all nice and plush for when you see Hyung again. We don’t want him worrying his pretty off and getting inattentive during practice, right?”

After cooking together, with Baekhyun having to keep an eye on Jongdae’s sleep-deprived movements, and eating - they end up cuddled together on the couch. Jongdae’s work lies forgotten on another table and there’s a movie playing on the TV, but its noise doesn’t reach Jongdae’s ears.

He’s warm and his belly is full, his arms are sneaked around a familiar waist and there are fingers in his hair, their touch soft and calming. It feels good being close to someone again, to share a space in time with someone you hold dear. Jongdae sighs, inhaling Baekhyun’s spicy cologne. He’s not alone and his heart doesn’t feel as lonely as before, even when Minseok isn’t at his side. Of course, he still misses him. Jongdae still can’t wait for the weekend to come, to finally kiss him again. But for now, it’s finally bearable. Because Baekhyun is there for him, caressing his hair and telling him about his day. Jongdae did want to listen, but his eyelids slide lower and lower with the minutes passing by. His grip on Baekhyun’s shirt loosens and the other’s fingers stop moving in return.

“Hey …” Baekhyun’s voice is quiet and soft. “Am I that boring?”

Jongdae shakes his head slowly.

“I’m just so tired …” Baekhyun hums in question. Jongdae hides his face in the blanket and mumbles his next words. “I-I have problems sleeping, Baek.”

“Naaw, because you’re missing Minseok, right?”

Jongdae whines and nuzzles his face closer into the fabric in embarrassment. 

“Don’t be shy, DaeDae.” The other continues caressing his hair again. “I just … Jongdae, everything will be alright. Even if those words may sound empty to you and I know you probably don’t believe me, but …” He sighs. “But I believe it. And I believe in it so much, that it’s enough for us both right now and when you’re ready, I’m willing to share so you can get the other half. How would you like that?”

Jongdae smiles at his ridiculous yet warm words.

“I’d like that …” It’s only a whisper, but Baekhyun hears him and hums happily. Jongdae shifts his arms a bit and then his eyes close on their own. His lips are still curled into a smile when he falls asleep, cuddling closer into his friend and not waking up once during the night.