Beautiful Goodbye - (Eunjung – Hyomin)

When a relationship comes to its breaking point, what Hyomin and Eunjung, a married couple for 4 years, are gonna do.

Divorce is a choice but miracle is not

Hahm Eunjung – A best-seller author, emotional, taking everything seriously, being moody for a reason, holding so much in her mind

Park Hyomin – An idol turns soloist and fashion influencer, confident and easily-annoyed, ignorance is her way to end the argument.

 

Reciting words she has to say, Eunjung glances at the time and the first thought comes to her mind is, late, .That’s how she is, and has always been but who is she to expect so much from a person she has known well. Three years together and another four years since they were married, Eunjung has known her for seven years, it was long enough to know and get fed up at some points. Almost a decade, and it was evitable for them to face changes, time was playing an important role to those changes, but it was not only things which has vaguely changed, but feelings too.

“Sorry I’m late”

Eunjung looks up and there she is, Hyomin comes, walking in, she apologizes to get by, saying sorry but Eunjung knows Hyomin isn’t sorry.

“No problem”, In response, Eunjung says.

All along, Eunjung thought problem never existed between them and got her thinking so, until it’s too late to fix, when they have come too far than to go back and change it.

“How long have you been waiting?” Hyomin asks, sitting comfortably in front of Eunjung

“Long enough, but that’s okay” Eunjung’s voice is cold, avoiding to look straight at Hyomin. Hyomin bites the inside of her cheek, she feels hollow as she is facing a sorrowful yet stern face of Eunjung right now

“I guess you have something to talk?” Hyomin hates how she’s feeling right now, Eunjung’s head turns forward when she nods.

Uncomfortably, Eunjung exhales her breath as her eyes roams around their place. Their pictures are hung on the wall of the pastel color, collection of decorative items arranged at each corner representing the styles of its owners, household stuff that they helped each other to pick to make this house a perfect place for them to live. Everything used to hold their own meanings, and history, but everything is fading away, just like their love. What they had from the beginning now disappears, and they don’t know where they are anymore.  

Heaving a sigh, Eunjung mutters, “Yes, it’s about us”, the words hinting what Eunjung knows Hyomin must have a clue, “And I think you may want to talk about it too” she shoots her a gaze at Hyomin.

Calmingly, Hyomin inwardly holds her breath, shifting on her seat. She looks at Eunjung for a moment before tearing off her gaze. Fidgeting her hand, Hyomin is playing with a ring worn on her finger, she winds it around her slim finger as it becomes loose. It must have been too long since she has worn this ring that her finger doesn’t fit it well anymore, even so she’s keen to keep it as long as possible.

Hyomin doesn’t recall how and when these gloomy days started, by the times she realizes it, she doesn’t feel the warmth from the other hand anymore when she holds her, and those three words becomes empty without its meaning.

Most everything have changed and Hyomin isn’t naïve to expect it to be the same, because Hyomin is changing too, but what she didn’t plan to cope was the changing of hearts, she has no idea how they have changed so much from loving each other dearly to fighting and hurting each other badly.

Hyomin holds her gaze at a broken vase, standing on a table, it was hit to floor the other day, and she guesses it must be Eunjung who has glued it back, as it’s back in one piece now, although apparently it looks okay, but she knows it is not same with its broken taints.   

“You go first” Hyomin let Eunjung speak up first, for she knows she will have no heart to bring it up. Eunjung looks up from her lap and stares at Hyomin once again, a sad smile appears on her face, for a moment she wonders if love does really expire.

“We both know that we’ve suffered and endured it for quite sometimes” Eunjung mutters while she casts her stare at Hyomin, but the brunette looks down, her eyes don’t meet Eunjung.   

Eunjung pauses and she musters her courage to continue, “I wish we could at least remain bit of good feeling we still have left for each other before it is truly gone, and we won’t have nothing to remember about us” Eunjung controls herself not to sound wavering,“For the sake of the love we once shared, let’s divorce before it hurt us more than this”

Eunjung feels like words disappearing in the air as soon as she finishes speaking, she feels all empty at once, while Hyomin is greeted by shallow, something deep but empty.

Silence engulfs them whole leaving no space for the sound to fit in once Eunjung finishes her clear cut statement, things they both know would come in the end, and it’s just a matter of time, either sooner or later.  Although Hyomin saw it coming, she can’t avoid but feels as though something stabbing her heart.

“It shall be a best way out for us” Hyomin endures a dull pain arising in her heart, and responds to Eunjung’s statement. She somehow believes it may be a way to resolve problem. Everything about them is broke and it’s heavy to hold. They are too tired to hold onto it, and Hyomin’s hand is too tired too 

It takes a lot for Eunjung to end it, be the one saying it doesn’t hurt any less, but there is no other way to save them from this pain which it gets worse and worse, they suffered all too much and none of them deserved it. She hopes one day when she looks back on these memories and she will be able to smile at them. It’s better to say good bye now when they don’t love each other anymore rather than let it get uglier until love is all gone and replaced by hate. The last thing she ever imagine to happen to them, she can’t stand to see them burning out when they can’t keep this love alive.

**

Sleeping at the edges of each side of the bed, Hyomin and Eunjung learned to be familiar with cold space in between since they are falling apart, and they don’t remember the last time they cuddle in their sleep, it was aged ago, too long to remember how it feels like to in affectionate arms. But it doesn’t matter anymore now, Hyomin is going to have only one more night here before she leaves for her work early tomorrow morning, another one more cold night should not be suffering more than it was already.

“How are we going to do with this place?”  Hyomin asks, as her back is facing Eunjung. This apartment is an asset they share the ownership and it’s supposed to be divided after they are no longer in any kind of partnership, and Hyomin wants to know if Eunjung may want to take over it.

“We can put it on sale, but if you want it, you can do so” Eunjung replies from the other side of the bed .Hyomin tries to find any good reason that she should keep it but she finds none, all those come rushing in her mind are bittersweet memories of them and then recent fresh bitter scenes of fight after fight, shouting and crying, and those undesired memories start to haunt her instead.

“I don’t want to keep it, stick to your idea, we’d better sell it” Hyomin agrees to Eunjung’s idea “I’m going to go back and live with my parent’s” she adds

“Me too” Eunjung says flatly

“Alright” Hyomin says

“I’ll move out next week” Eunjung plans for her next step

“Okay, by then I should be back from my business from Japan” Hyomin says, agreeing to the plan

“Um” Eunjung hums her response.

Eunjung remembers Hyomin’s schedule, and that was why she chose today to talk about this, otherwise she will have to wait until next week, and leave everything hanging on longer.

 It’s Hyomin’s career that sometimes she has to be away for a month or so. It’s sad but true when Eunjung lives by to sees the season changes more than she sees Hyomin’s face, when they were supposed to be together. Those cold lonely nights weren’t easy for Eunjung to go by without feeling lonely.  

“Let’s me know when you get back” Eunjung says

“I will” Hyomin answers, she then turns away to her other side, being carried in her own world

Ironically, they always fight on most everything but when it comes to this break-up, both of them chin up to accept it.  They agreed to break up and divorce

Silence seems to be the best remedy for them when conversations become less and less, they don’t talk much anymore, and they don’t remember the last time they talk without yelling or shouting at each other, unlike today where they could agree on most everything for it might be what they wanted for a while. There is no other reason to tie them together because under the same roof, Hyomin and Eunjung just live together by their commitment, but they don’t feel own another existence anymore.  

--------------------------

Eunjung stares at the pictures on the wall, captured in those frames are the happy moments where time was frozen in photos, and their smiles are forever kept that way in memories without changing and they will never get old. She reaches out to take one of them down, it’s a photo of her and Hyomin in front of a campfire back in four years ago. It was a trip with Eunjung’s friends, when a friend took a photo for them, they were happily smiling, cheeks in cheeks. Eunjung smiles feeling nostalgic at the memory, she puts it down on a box along with her nostalgia, the time that she could never turn it back, and only lives in a memory. 

One by one, Eunjung carries on with her packing, and sorting out her personal stuff when she hears a footstep echoing, Hyomin enters the apartment. Without even looking, Eunjung can imagine Hyomin slipping off her shoes, and putting on her slippers. She drags her feet on the wooden floor, creating a sound that Eunjung doesn’t like, but today Eunjung is going to let it slip and not nag anymore. Eunjung turns around to look at Hyomin, she appears in her fashionista outfit, holding a suitcase in her hand, and it’s easy to tell that she just came straight from the airport.

“Sorry, I’m late” Hyomin says once she walks in the middle of the room and looks back at Eunjung

“No worries, I just started packing my stuff a head of time” Eunjung says and resumes what she was doing.   

Hyomin walks closer and stops where Eunjung is sitting with her cross legs on the floor, she hands Eunjung a paper bag containing some strawberry chocolates boxes inside, Eunjung tiles her head up, her hand stretches out to receive it.

“My flight was delayed so I got a little time to do a souvenir shopping at the airport” Hyomin explains, retreating her hand back once Eunjung takes the bag away from her.

“Thanks” Eunjung smiles,“ It has been long  since I’ve eaten it” , Eunjung didn’t lie, but it has been a long time since Hyomin ever brought home or Eunjung anything from her trip, she has been too busy with her hectic schedules to remember little things, and most of the time she would be running late for her flights.

“You’re welcome” Hyomin says. She then leaves her luggage in the middle of the room and walks into a kitchen to get something to drink, then she disappears into the bedroom.  

Shortly Hyomin reappears, Eunjung looks up at her, Hyomin is walking out of the bedroom after changing into something more comfortable, she is wearing her oversize white t-shirt and a black short, her hair is tied up in a messy bun, a simple look that Eunjung almost forgets about it because Hyomin is not often home doing something like. The thought of it, brings a dull feeling to Eunjung’s heart for she knows this is gonna be the last time to see Hyomin like this.  

Eunjung is about to say something when she witness Hyomin plugging in her ear-buds headphone, something Hyomin does when she is stressful and needs to relax or when  she needs a quiet time alone so Eunjung drops it, she doesn’t want to disturb her.  

Hyomin starts packing her stuff from a different corner, she is cautiously wrapping her camera in bubble wrap and carefully places it down one by one into a special protection case. As she is about to wrap a last camera, she plays around with a shutter and clicks, Hyomin takes some candid shots of Eunjung sitting at another corner without her knowing. Hyomin checks her work by zooming in a photo on its monitor screen, she mindlessly compliments a person captured in the photo, because in her dazed posture, Eunjung could effortlessly looks beautiful. Hyomin rubs her finger on a screen as if she could touch her face and it makes her eyes sting for an unknown reason, so she tries to clear away a droplet emerging at the corner of her eyes with her finger.

Eunjung catches a glimpse of Hyomin blinking her eyes, so she thinks the brunette is trying to flush the dust out, out of her nagging habit, she says, “There is a lot of dust here, don’t touch your eyes with your fingers, it’s dirty” Eunjung slides a box of facial tissue on a surface of the floor, swinging it at a speed where it should stop where Hyomin is seat.

“Thanks” Though her ear-buds, Hyomin can hear Eunjung’s nagging as she spoke the same time as a song stopped.      

***

Hours was gone, leaving them sore hands, and sweats, Eunjung and Hyomin finally finished packing most important stuff which they needed to divide, and boxes are separated on two sides ready to be loaded. With most of house décor items gone, the house turns plainly empty without stuff sitting here and there, leaving lone furniture lifelessly bland without a good combination of art and decoration. .  

“Hyomin, would you mind to visit my mom sometimes?” Eunjung asks when she notices that Hyomin isn’t wearing those headphones anymore and Hyomin is listening.

“I wouldn’t mind, it has been a while since I last visited her and I miss her too” Hyomin replies

“Thanks” Eunjung smiles, her mother was asking about Hyomin and she promised to tell her to visit.  

Reluctantly, Hyomin wants to ask how Eunjung’s mother takes it and how she feels about it, for her parents don’t take it well enough, and asked her to reconsider about it. Hyomin chooses not to ask though, there is no use to ask. It’s their decision, whether other like it or not, nothing’s gonna change it, no matter what other say or think.

“And would you be free to sign some asset transfer documents around next month, also our joint bank account which is needed to be closed?” Eunjung asks as well as explains what they need to do next for documents.

“There shouldn’t be any problem” Hyomin answers, “I’ll be able to manage it” she confirms confidently

“Great” Eunjung says then gets up to stack her box, Hyomin’s gaze follows her movement.

Hyomin knows a reason behind Eunjung rushing things out. As a righteous person, Eunjung must want to make it right and clear herself before she begins again. All along Eunjung has been admired by some people who made it clear that they hit on her or like her in a romantic way, and the reason that Eunjung never leads them on, is because she was in this relationship, and it was a commitment which was holding her back, but Hyomin set her free, and she is free to do whatever she wants. Hyomin knows there might be someone there who could give Eunjung all she wanted that Hyomin couldn’t.    

“By the way, can you keep it low about our divorce? I don’t want it to circulate online just yet, I have a new product to launch soon” Hyomin makes a request.

“Absolutely” Eunjung nods, understanding Hyomin’s situation.

When Eunjung says she knows Hyomin well, it means she knows everything about her. And this is one of the things Hyomin cares the most as a public figure. Although their marriage wasn’t legally recognized in Korea, it was lawfully registered aboard, and it was widely known by public for Hyomin was an idol who turned a soloist and a fashion influencer while Eunjung is a best-seller author, and they were adored and supported by their fans for they made a lovely couple back then. Either they want it or not, they were bounded by expectation, and it is one of the reasons which made this push and pull relationship dangling on and on.   

“Can I take this?” Hyomin lifts up a DVD movie

“Is that mine?” Eunjung asks, narrowing her eyes. It’s her forever favorite movie but she doesn’t remember whether it was her or Hyomin bought it

“I didn’t buy it, so I’m confident you did” Hyomin states her thought, she flips a DVD back and forth.

“I guess then” Eunjung says “and yes, you can have it” She allows

“Thanks” Hyomin says

Eunjung’s eyes lingers on Hyomin, she then suggests “Shall we watch it together for one last time?”, her words reflect her sadness .It’s Eunjung favorite movie and before she gives it to Hyomin, she feels like watching it with her.

“Let’s watch it once I finish packing up this box,” Hyomin agrees to an idea

“ Okay” Eunjung nods

***

From the first scene up till the end, almost two hours that they spent watching a movie until the credit list rolls up with its ending soundtrack score. A same old movies they used to watch together many times before, that they could literally remember the dialogues of the leading characters as if the scripts were imprinted by their hearts, and it ended the same way with its sad endings.

Eunjung sheds her tear silently, she is always emotional watching this movie, but today she is shedding her tear for a different reason, although she doesn’t want to admit. Hyomin tiles her head at a sight, she smiles at Eunjung’s habit, she then reaches out to wipe Eunjung tears with her thumps.

“It never fails to make you cry”, Hyomin gives a heart-felt comments, Eunjung lowers her head, not to meet Hyomin’s eyes .When Eunjung doesn’t say anything, Hyomin cheers her up

“Let’s not cry anymore, and let’s be happy” Hyomin means more than she says

 Eunjung nods “You too”.

Hyomin smiles the saddest smile that Eunjung has ever seen she did.  It’s sad to say goodbye, but it’s more important to be happy even though in the road to happiness, there won’t be them together anymore.

“Shall we go out for dinner together tonight?” Hyomin recommends as she starts to get hungry

“Yeah, I’m getting hungry now” Eunjung agrees. 

Walking side by side, their hands are kept to their sides when they are back from a diner and decide to have a little walk to digest their food . Silence is still their best friend, as they don’t know what to talk or discuss. There are times, Eunjung looks at her empty hands, they used to hold each other, but they stopped doing so when they don’t fit each other anymore.

“It’s more like teenagers’ meeting point now” Hyomin says as her eyes scan around a recreational park by a river. Eunjung’s eyes roam around, and just like Hyomin said, this place is full of younger people gathering to meet up and do some activities.

“We used to be young” Eunjung says 

It earns Hyomin laughter, yeah, they used to be young and they used to come here when they were a few years younger, back then things were fresh and happy, no any warning sign that it would be falling apart. It amazes Hyomin how things has changed so much in a past few years, she doesn’t remember every details for things that happened in her life for these few years, all she knew it went by so fast, days filled with work and tight schedules.

“We are not getting any younger” Hyomin states a fact. Eunjung nods along.  

They sit there a bit longer and then agree to walk home. When they arrive in front of a building complex, Eunjung looks up at it, feeling regret that they have to sell it. They chose this nice location in the city center where it’s just convenient to walk to the park or even the shopping mall but they didn’t even have a chance to do so together. Eunjung remembers the first time when they agreed to get this place, they liked it so much and were so excited to move in, never thought that one day they would leave it.

Like always, they sleep on a different side of the bed, or even turn their back on each other, either playing on their phones or reading, but tonight, Hyomin puts her phone away and keeps her stare at a ceiling as if she wants to remember the detail of this room. As she is drown in silence lying there for a while and almost thinks that Eunjung is asleep, Eunjung’s voice breaks her trance.

“Can I hold you tonight?” Eunjung asks nervously. Hyomin wouldn’t lie but she didn’t expect such a request, shehas a side glance at Eunjung who looks right at her. Hyomin doesn’t give a verbal response but instead she smiles before moving closer to the center of the bed, Eunjung smiles too, as she follows the acts, until they are both at the center of the bed.

For the last time, Eunjung holds Hyomin in her arms while they are sleeping and for one last time, the warmth that Eunjung has missed spread through her body when Hyomin rests her head on Eunjung’s chest and snuggles in her embrace. Cherish the moment, Eunjung hopes this feel linger on longer even after she wakes up tomorrow and Hyomin won’t be here anymore.

----------------------------  

Hyomin cheerfully flashes her smile and bows her head to reporters and fans gathering at the press conference as she is wrapping up a group photo posture and then her single shot for her upcoming appearance on a show. Waving goodbye to them, she makes her way out and disappears from the stage.

Walking down to back area, her manager is approaching, he hands her a bag, where Hyomin thanks to him .

“Oppa, I don’t think I have any schedule until tonight right?” Hyomin asks while recalling her schedules

“Yes, a move premieres attendance shall starts from 6-7 pm” The manager oppa briefs a schedule where Hyomin will be attending as an invited guest to watch a premier of a movie.

“That’s great, I need sometimes for my nail work” Hyomin fixes her dress.

“As you are free now, why don’t you go and give Eunjung ssi a support at a fan sign event?” Her manager suggests. The mention of Eunjung name catches Hyomin’s attention, she tiles her head and furrows her brow in confusion

“I know it’s not in your schedule but since her fan sign is just another floor away, you should make a surprise appearance” He innocently persuades, clueless of the truth that Hyomin didn’t reveal yet.

“Oh, the event is held here?” Hyomin asks, realizing it has been a week since she last saw Eunjung, the morning she sneaked out without saying goodbye to make thing easier for her. Hyomin doesn’t remember if Eunjung ever told her about a release of her new book but she guesses it is, this fan sign shall be a launch of her new book.  

It occurs to Hyomin now after she looked back at some moments in life, many times that she failed to make it to support Eunjung at her important events or even their important days where she might need her, the fast flow of her hectic life swept her away so far, and she wasn’t there for her. How I wish I could go back and make it ?

“It’s on the third floor” His confirmation brings Hyomin back to where she is

“Thanks oppa, you are right, I should go and give her a little support” Hyomin smiles thankfully at him. Hyomin knows this is not gonna makes up to it, but she at least hopes, her appearance to support Eunjung shall do a little for her day.

***

An event organizers and crew staff look surprised to see Hyomin coming, they are eagerly welcoming her and is about to go and notify Eunjung who is busily signing her book and greeting her fans, Hyomin signals them not to inform the latter but asks them for a book, which they happliy provide her a hardcopy of a book with a title: Beautiful Goodbye, Hyomin can’t help but feels a wave of sadness hit her core. She starts to wonder if the book has something to say about their love life, if so, what Eunjung would be writing about, would she blame her for this break-up or would she be taking all the blames the way heroin does, Hyomin will never know until she gets chance to read it.

Hyomin remembers seeing Eunjung working on this book at their home, sometimes she would be sitting a whole day long at the same spot, paying her most attention to her piece of work. Admittedly, it was one of those times where Hyomin found it hard to cope with a moody Eunjung. She tended to be very serious and had her low mood sometimes, Hyomin didn’t try to understand why but ignored her mood swing as to avoid their argument.

Eunjung didn’t realize a presence of someone until it’s Hyomin’s turn to hand her a book for an autograph, in a swift second, before Eunjung looks up, a ring finger on a fan’s hand catches her attention, she would be surprise if someone makes a copy of their marriage ring, so to find who is it, she abruptly lifts her head up where she is greeted by a face she hasn’t seen for a week, and never thought she would miss, but now she is standing here with her warm smile, Eunjung knows there won’t be a day that she won’t miss the brunette 

 “Congratulation” Hyomin says, witnessing a surprise written on Eunjung’s face, so Hyomin guesses this is a surprise appearance her manager expects a reaction from, if so, he should be happy now, because her expression is priceless and doesn’t fade away for a moment. “I happen to be around here, so I thought I should give you support” Hyomin continues.

In appreciation, Eunjung smiles back, before taking a book from Hyomin and sign in it, but before she hands it back, she decides to flip though a random page and scribbles something and closes.  

“Thank you so much for coming” Eunjung sincerely expresses as she returns a book to Hyomin.

“I hope your book will be well-received” Hyomin wishes her luck

“Thank you, please read it well” Eunjung cheers, her eyes holds a meaning that Hyomin is bounded to stare at them longer.

“Do you need my feedback?” Hyomin asks

“I would appreciate if you could do” Eunjung smiles

Seemingly, immersed in eyes staring contest, they are unaware of how many cameras and phone cameras continuously snatching their best angles to get their best shot, some fans excitedly squeal in delight eye-witnessing at heart-warming scene before their eyes, a lovely and sweet couple they adore, and their other half-significant is here to support each other.

“Eunjung ssi, Hyomin ssi, please look at the camera please” A cameraman with a press id hanging on his neck calls for their attention, and they have to break their stare. Professionally Hyomin turns around and put her V sign up as she lowers herself at Eunjung’s head level for their best shot. They see constant bright flashes mobbing their ways but they can’t complain, they are public figures, although they are in pain, they have to put their best smile on.

Hyomin turns around to give Eunjung a hand shake, and wishes her luck before she leaves, Eunjung quickly gets up from her seat and throws her arms around Hyomin and gives her a hug “Thanks really, it means a lot to me” Eunjung whispers . Hyomin sniffs in Eunjung’s perfume and closes her eyes, she wishes she has done this before.

----------------------------  

Two weeks later

Hyomin locked herself inside the room and tried not to get a hold of her device and scroll down those hateful and negative comments after a rumor about her upcoming divorce broke out. Looking up at the calendar, Hyomin notes a read mark where it’s another two week time before she will have to go and sign some documents which it will technically complete this divorce, but news was already circulating around with all kind of distorted information which make rumors more interesting and controversial, a fun target for netizens. Her events were cancelled after the rumor spreading last two days, and Hyomin has nowhere to go than being stuck in her room, she doesn’t bother to change from her PYs or comb her hair, she is too mentally tired to have any energy to do something.

It has been a while since she took a break, and she was yearning for a well-deserved rest where she can sleep in without having to worry about hitting a snooze, but she didn’t expect this kind of abrupt break.

Hyomin walks out to a balcony with a scenic view of the bridge over a famous river in Seoul to get some fresh air. It relatively distracts her from her scattered thought when she has herself entertained, watching people’s lives out there, something she never has a chance to sit down and watches. She stands there for a while until a knock on the door averts her attention

“Omma?” Hyomin asks

Unsure if she locked the door or not, she walks toward a door and open it, where she is greeted by a person she has not seen for two weeks since that event.  

“Hey” Hyomin greets, surprised

“Hey, can I come in?” Eunjung asks

 “Yeah” Hyomin responds, letting Eunjung walking into her room        

Eunjung is holding a cake box which Hyomin remembers a logo printed on a paper box, her favorite cake.

“I was passing by, so I thought I should give you a visit” Eunjung explains as she places a cake box on a table and sits down on a chair.

“Thanks for coming” Hyomin says

Eunjung watches as Hyomin walks to her bed and sits on the edge of it, judging from her clothes, Eunjung guesses Hyomin didn’t even get out of her room, and her distress is in her aura makes Eunjung worried

“How is everything going?” Eunjung asks, knowing well what is happening.

“As you can see, not so pretty” Hyomin replies blandly

Eunjung sighed, “I’m sorry things turned out this way”, she says

“Not your fault” Hyomin shrugs

“Part of my fault for sure”

“It’s not time to fight whose fault is it” Hyomin inwardly massages her temples .Eunjung gives in, it’s not really time.

Even Hyomin said so, Eunjung can’t help but feels responsible for this consequence. Although, she was surprised how people could find out before they even announce it officially.  Eunjung assumed it had something to do with the asset broker who pushes it forward to sell their apartment for them, she might tell someone they moved out and wanted to sell.

Eunjung must accept it’s her fault for not thinking it throughout about this point. She should have waited, she was focusing on getting everything taken care as quickly as possible way too much that she forgot this sensitive case where it bounced back to them and affected Hyomin majorly. And Eunjung wouldn’t have bothered so much if the rumors weren’t twisted so badly. One of the worst false rumors accusing Hyomin of having an affair with an actor behind her back and caused them a broke-up leading to a divorce, Eunjung can’t believe how cruel people are these days, she got really mad to read those stuff.. Given that Hyomin and Eunjung emotionally hurt each other, but this issue wasn’t one of those reasons they were fighting at time.

“Is there anything I could do for you? Eunjung asks.

“Not really” Hyomin shakes her head, but then she remembers “ Oh, but if you may, can you move the date for divorce sooner?”

Eunjung frowns upon hearing so “Are you sure?” she asks  

“Yes, I’m sure, the sooner, the better, it will end either way” Hyomin reasons

Hyomin believes it should resolve this issue out, at least once gets everything done, she could just hold a press conference, where media should know the truth and die down the rumors”

“Okay if you want” Eunjung nods

There is a pause between their conversation, until Hyomin asks “Is that cake for me?”, she looks at a cake box

“Yes” Eunjung replies.  Eunjung turns around to get a box and passes it to Hyomin who is walking toward her

“Can I eat?” Hyomin asks

 “Sure thing, it’s all yours’ Eunjung responds with a smile

“Thanks” Hyomin smiles back

Hyomin has eaten anything since this morning, so this cake is her first meal of the day, she finishes one piece and continues another, and Eunjung doesn’t wonder why

Eunjung heard from Hyomin’s mom that she locks herself inside, and doesn’t eat well, so Eunjung drove all the way from her mom’s house to a bakery shop that Hyomin likes and made it here. Everything was intentionally done, not by chance. 

“Have you been inside your room all day?” Eunjung asks curious, looking at Hyomin’s messy hair, like she didn’t even bother to comb her hair.  Hyomin nods as a confirmation.

If it was back then Eunjung would just nag Hyomin for being unhealthy, but who she is to do so now, besides, Eunjung does Hyomin to be able to depend on herself from now.

“Do you want to go for a ride, you know getting some fresh air?” Eunjung recommends, half hoping, half preparing to get denied.

Hyomin seems to be thinking, she takes another bit of a cake, “It sounds a good idea to distract myself from my phone” Hyomin responded positively.

Aimlessly, they are going for a ride, and as usual, not much is said when they let silence take over them. Eunjung somehow enjoys their quiet ride though, it doesn’t happen before that she would just drive without a purpose, but once she does it, she experiences a newfound relaxing feeling, not caring or pressuring herself of its destination. Wherein, Hyomin let her mind going blank, she is too tired to think, because the more she thinks, the harder she can’t get out of it, her problem can’t be resolved soon anyway so she let it be.

 “Do you remember when we drove all night with your friends?” Hyomin is the first to break the ice, reminiscing past memories. Eunjung gets her mind thrown back to the time.

“It’s one of the best trip ever” Eunjung smiles, thinking of the past.

“Where was that actually? I don’t remember the name” Hyomin tries to figure out a name, Eunjung figures out the name but strangely she can’t remember it neither.  

“Do you want to go there?” Instead of answering, Eunjung asks for Hyomin’s opinion, Hyomin goes momentarily quiet as she is contemplating.

“Maybe it’s nice to go back and visit sometimes” Hyomin answers

“I mean today” Eunjung clarifies

“Today? As of now?” Hyomin sounds a bit surprised

“Yeah now” Eunjung confirms “Or never” she let Hyomin choose. That is, now or never, for they both know, it won’t be any chance that they would ever do it after this, not when they technically divorce, or even then, they didn’t even have time for each other, it’s just rare that they could be out doing nothing like this, it’s something they never did.

“I don’t feel like going anywhere now, I’m sorry” Hyomin has an apologetic look on her face

“I understand”, Eunjung forces a smile.

After a long ride without destination, they make it back. Eunjung is sending Hyomin off at her parents’

“Thank you for today, I feel a lot better” Hyomin sincerely expresses

“I wish I could do more, but I’m glad you feel better” Eunjung says

“You should get going” Hyomin suggests

“Alright” Eunjung nods

Hyomin lingers her look before she gets off the car, when she looks at Eunjung’s eyes, they seem struggle with something she couldn’t quite tell, but she is sure they are hiding something. But when Eunjung says nothing, Hyomin decides to leave it, she has no right to ask anyway when Eunjung doesn’t want to tell her.

Eunjung watches as Hyomin bidding goodbye and waiting until Eunjung leaves. Eunjung longs her stare from inside the car, a sight of Hyomin standing there bidding goodbye in front of her parents’ house reminds Eunjung of when they first were falling in love. It was those every time Eunjung dropped Hyomin off, they would often linger their stares and never wanted to leave, and they found saying goodbye just hard.

Eunjung thought she would not be crying over it, but she is wrong. Her eyes are burning hot when tears are falling down. It’s harder when some of these things still remind her of those happy memories that she holds onto, she knows she gotta let go, it’s for their sake of happiness in their own ways, but she can’t truly leave. Mindlessly Eunjung runs her finger through her necklace, she touches a round metal dangling from the neckline, a ring where she removed it from her ring finger and puts it in her necklace, she knows it’s never easy to say goodbye but they are going to be grateful for this later, because there is a good in goodbye.

--------------------------------

Amidst the controversies over rumors about their divorce, Hyomin woke up one morning to the news received from Eunjung’s parents that Eunjung was missing without her telling anyone where she would go. Hyomin honestly didn’t know how to react to it, she was stunned and speechless. The last time she saw Eunjung was when she was sending her off and drove away, three days before Eunjung went missing. Hyomin tried to contact her each and every way but no avail, days turned into week, and Eunjung was still nowhere to be found when it came to date they were scheduled to sign some documents, it got everyone worry so did Hyomin.  

All at one, Hyomin is embracing everything that life throwing at her now, and it’s too heavy to carry around on her tiny shoulders, she is devastated and distressed and for the first time since they were apart, Hyomin never knows how much she needs Eunjung like she does now. 

Hyomin has been driving around, foolishly believes that she may catch a glimpse of Eunjung anywhere she used to go but all she found was disappointment. By the end of the day, Hyomin finds herself standing in the middle of their empty apartment, where some furniture is covered from dust by white sheets.

“You are not going to like this” Hyomin sadly smiles, thinking how fussily Eunjung would be about dust and dirt. Hyomin removes the white sheet from a sofa and slumps herself down exhaustedly, she hasn’t slept for two days now. Once she leans her back on the sofa, and looks around, she could literally see memories of them are living in every corner of this apartment.

“Yah, can you please stop dragging your feet on the floor, it’s annoying?” Eunjung bawled impatiently

“But that’s how I walk” Hyomin retorted stubbornly

“At least you should lift up your feet a bit, walk please, not drag your feet”  Eunjung snapped back

“I’m tired and I’m gonna walk like this” Hyomin tiredly walked away with her slippers dragging on the wooden floor producing audible annoyance sound to Eunjung’s ear , she heard Eunjung groaned in frustration

Hyomin looks down on the floor, she doesn’t know why they would just fight over everything from something little to something that matters, over and over, and their trouble would go around in circle from little to something rougher, winding them in a spiral of never ending argument.  

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know the manager oppa has dealt this work for me” Hyomin annoyingly looked away

“You’ve got your choice to deny but you didn’t, and you place your work before everything especially about us” Eunjung argued madly

“Eunjung, you are out of it now, it’s just a diner” Hyomin gritted her teeth

“If our anniversary just means that much too you, then fine” Eunjung shouted, she walked out the door and left.

Many other memories of their fights come up on Hyomin’s mind, and she is too tired to revive them when her eyelids are getting heavier, she hasn’t slept well these days, so she thinks it’s alright to take a little nap.  

--------------------------------

“Hyomin, wake up” 

Hyomin feels a hand shaking her arm to wake her up, feeling disturbed, she forces her eyes open to the voice that she recognizes, “Eunjung?”, she asks

“Yes, it’s me, wake up” Eunjung rushes

Groggily, Hyomin blinks her eyes open, where she is greeted by Eunjung’s face, excitedly and surprised, Hyomin happily throws herself at Eunjung, which almost makes Eunjung falls over.

“Where have you been?”  Hyomin asks hurriedly  

“Eh? Are you alright?” Eunjung asks, but Hyomin doesn’t answer, she hugs Eunjung tighter while sniffing the scent of her perfume.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Eunjung frowns as she is patting Hyomin’s back

“No I just….” 

Hyomin stops in a midway toward her sentence, her brow knots, as she notices her surroundings; She slowly releases Eunjung from her hug and frantically looks around the room. She is in their bedroom, she means a bedroom back before they moved out, every things looks just like before they moved out. Impossible

“Hyomin ah, what’s wrong?” Eunjung is confused at Hyomin’s action when she gets out of the bed and walks around the room, confusion is written all over her face, Eunjung gets up after her and walks closer to Hyomin but Hyomin steps back cautiously, frown turns to concern when Hyomin acts weirder.

“You’re scarring me Hyomin” Eunjung approaches her again, this time Hyomin doesn’t move.

“You look pale honey, are you alright?” Eunjung cups Hyomin’s face and Hyomin swears she can feel the warmth from Eunjung’s hand and there is no way that it would be a dream

“I’m alright, just a little bit dazed” Hyomin tries to calm herself down

Eunjung heaves a sigh, “You should take more rest, you overwork yourself” she nags.

“ I think so” Hyomin agrees mindlessly, her mind won’t stop a series of possible assumption popping in her mind

“Alright, you should get ready before you miss your fight then” Eunjung warns, and it makes Hyomin frown again “My fight?” Hyomin asks

“Yeah, you’re having a fight to Hong Kong today” Eunjung seriously reminds

“What day is today?” Hyomin asks

“Hyomin ah, you’ve really overworked, it’s July 24, 2017, darling” Eunjung says with a hint of caring and worry. Hyomin gulps down and swallows her shock, and relatively her face gets paler that Eunjung looks more worried now. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Eunjung repeats a same question

“Yeah I am” Hyomin puts the best smile on her face

“If you insist” Eunjung gives in

“Alright, I’ll get going” Hyomin quickly makes her way to the bathroom, where she can be alone and get herself composed. Once she gets in, she finds everything are arranged the same way it was before.

“What’s the heck is happening here?” Hyomin groans

It took Hyomin a whole way to the airport to rethink and figure of what it’s happening, her hand is touching a bruise on her knee where she just hit a corner of a table before she left home. It actually happened two years ago and she remembers Eunjung nagging her for that, like she just did now.

“Am I travelling back in time?”

“Pardon?” A taxi driver turns around and asks

“Nothing” Hyomin shakes her head

“Alright” He smiles and it makes Hyomin stop breathing, she met him before, a guy with his crooked teeth and one golden tooth showing up, back in two years ago driving her to the airport, which it’s today. Then Hyomin is sure she is travelling back in time.

--------------------------------

Hyomin has been waking up to a random date and month in her past for three consecutive days, up till now, she doesn’t know what to do with it or figure out a reason or purpose why she is travelling back in time, so meanwhile she just follows the flow and lives the dejavu of her life, and it’s not until the 5th day when she wakes up to a day in November 2017, and it was Eunjung’s important day for her book launch event where Hyomin promised to go to support her, but she couldn’t make it, and it caused them a fight where they didn’t talk for 3 days afterward.

Hyomin lies down in her bed for a while, studying the ceiling as if it could give her an answer she is looking for, just then she realizes something so she makes a phone call.

“Oppa, can I change my schedule today?”

“I’m sorry Hyomin ah, it’s all fixed and you’ll be appearing as a guest there”

“I see”

“Why is something happening?”    

“No, not really, I’ll figure it out”

“Alright see you then”

Hyomin hangs up her phone which it’s a model she was using during 2017, a lock screen was a photo of her and Eunjung. Hyomin is quite certain that she is here to fix or change something. She gets out of her bed while her head is working hard to figure out the way she could do to change something. Hyomin startles at first when she feels the pair of arms wrapping around her waist from behind, but she calms down the moment she smells her perfume, Hyomin smiles as she feels the warmth from Eunjung’s hug

“Are you coming to my press conference, right?” Eunjung asks with a tone of begging. Hyomin feels pressured; she knew she didn’t make it then but how she’s going to make it now.

“I will” Hyomin somehow repeats her promise

“Great” Eunjung smiles happily  “I’ll be waiting” she says hopefully

Hyomin nervously looks at the time, she has been in studio recording a TV program and just like how it happened before:  It took them more time to complete recording and on the way out, an actor stopped by to talk to her, and she didn’t want to be rude, so she wasted another half hour to chat away with him, and by the time she left the studio, traffic was so bad, she was stuck, by the time she got to the venue, the press conference was done and  Eunjung wasn’t there, Hyomin missed it and they ended up having a fight over a broken promise.

Hyomin mentally faceplams herself, there is nothing she could do and the past just repeated itself the way it was supposed to be. And here they are sitting on the different side of the bed, not talking to each other, and Hyomin would just pretend it’s not her fault by ignoring Eunjung like it did happen.

What if I can’t change the things around me but my own habits Hyomin thinks and looks at Eunjung’s back, which emitting a sad aura.

It was her pride that kept Hyomin from reconciling with Eunjung and ignored her for the next three days, that was how it happened that time

To change thing, Hyomin swallows her pride and makes her way to Eunjung on the other side of the bed, she wraps her arms around a sad back and presses her head against her back. Eunjung is somewhat caught off guard, didn’t expect Hyomin to give in. 

“I’m really sorry, I wish I could make it” Hyomin genuinely apologizes, she feels Eunjung’s hands gently rubbing on her arms which secure around Eunjung’s waist, then she hears Eunjung heaving a sigh.

“I’m sorry too for shouting at you” Eunjung says back    

“I deserved it” Hyomin says, Eunjung turns around and shakes her head as disagreeing. They look each other in the eyes, Hyomin knows this is the love of her life that she never wants to say goodbye.

“I love you Eunjung” Hyomin smiles with tear at the corner of her eyes, if only she has said it more often, Eunjung would know how much she loves her.

“I love you too” 

Hyomin changed it, they didn’t end up sleeping on the different side of the bed but they kissed and made up.

--------------------------------

12 December 2017

Hyomin wasn’t happy with her work, as she made few mistakes recording her new single at the studio, and kept redoing her work until she was satisfied. She then took sometimes to discuss with her producer, and when she was done, it was 11:35 PM, another 25 minutes till midnight, Hyomin was looking for her manager oppa, and found him falling asleep at a waiting room, they weren’t leaving until another 15 minutes later, they rushed to pick up a cake from a bakery shop that turned out to be closed already so when she got home, time ticked at 00:45, indicating a new day had arrived, 13^th December. She found Eunjung sitting all along drinking. She missed it again. And they were going to fight after Hyomin apologized and Eunjung said none sense things after she got drunk.

But before a history gets a chance to repeat itself, Hyomin grabs her purse and runs out of their apartment , Eunjung frowns

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be out for a bit, I’ll be back soon” 

“It’s already dark Hyomin”

“No worries I’ll be back shortly”

Hyomin dashes into a convenience store nearby and looks for a small piece of cake where she finds one, she get it with some candles right away, then she hurries back to their apartment where Eunjung is still at the dining table with glass of wine sitting in front of her, but before Hyomin can prepare a cake for her, Eunjung shouts her way.

“What did you think you do to run out in the middle of the night just like that? Eunjung asks madly, Hyomin puts down what she is going to do. The way Eunjung acts just makes her upset, and rips away her mood. Hyomin stands still, weary.

Then, it’s Eunjung who walks toward where Hyomin is standing, where she notices a small piece of cake with an unlighted single candle in the middle of it. Eunjung is choked up with her emotional feeling, not often she will see Hyomin doesn’t this kind of thing for her, she is not a romantic type, unlike Eunjung who takes every little thing seriously.

Hyomin notices how long Eunjung has been staring at a cake, so she starts to explain, “By the time I got to the bakery shop it was closed and I couldn’t get a cake I ordered beforehand”, Eunjung bites her lip to hear so

“Will this do? I know it’s not a fancy one but that the best I could find around here” Hyomin says , she anticipates Eunjung’s reaction, and when she sees Eunjung nodding slowly, Hyomin smiles, she picks up a cake and lights a candle.   

“Happy Birthday my love”

Eunjung blows her candle with tears in her eyes, feeling touched for what Hyomin is doing for her. Most of all, it saves them from emotionally hurting one another by unconscious anger and ignorance, one little act changes them from fighting to hugging.    

One and on, Hyomin wakes up to fix what should have been done to make thing a little better, she can’t change a major event though even she tries, the result remains the same, and she can only remedy the part of her fault . Calculating the randomness of the time travelling, Hyomin wonders if she would be waking up to a day when they decided to divorce or not, and if so, what she would do to change it, and would they still be together if she disagrees to divorce, but she guesses she’ll never know until it comes and she is not positive that she would be given chance to do so, because she is travelling back in time in a very random date, just like today, Hyomin looks at a calendar where it says 15 May 2018, and it was nothing special on this day.

Eunjung had been sitting on her desk all day long working on her new book, and Hyomin found it boring to be at home, she was going out and checked the latest fashion at an event.

Eunjung looked distressed these days and that was because she was concentrating on her work, resulting in their non-conversation, and Hyomin didn’t bother to ask about the genre of her new book

Hyomin stops in her track while her hand is on a doorknob before she walks out of the house, she pauses and stares at Eunjung, she is seated on a chair at the dining table with her glasses on, looking thoughtful and serious while her eyes firmly fixes at her computer. Eunjung didn’t even bother looking up when Hyomin announced her leave.

Hyomin remembers they didn’t fight this day and it seems like there is nothing to fix but why she is here. Hyomin considers and there must be always a purpose of her time travelling and she needs to solve out the puzzle.

Instead of turning a doorknob, Hyomin takes off her shoes and slips in her slippers, dragging her feet back into the houses, the sound draws Eunjung attention when she tears her stare off her computer and looks at Hyomin.

“Did you forget something?” Eunjung asks, Hyomin stops in front of Eunjung, she slowly shakes her head as denial, Eunjung tiles her head, her eyes holds that little confusion, Hyomin doesn’t give any explanation but she puts down her bag on the dining table and walks into the kitchen. Shortly after, she returns with a mug of coffee in her hand, sinking herself on a seat on the opposite of Eunjung. Eunjung eyes seek for an explanation from Hyomin.

“I feel like being home and be with you today” Hyomin hides her face in her mug. Her randomness gest Eunjung surprised but she likes it somehow.

“I hope I won’t disturb you by just sitting here” Hyomin asks

“Not at all” Eunjung smiles, “On the contrary, I love it”, Eunjung’s eyes are dancing with joy. Hyomin doesn’t see them for a long time.

Hyomin just sits there watching Eunjung working while she is listening to music on her earphones from her i-phone, a former model, and not the latest one she is supposed to be using during a mid-year of 2019.

Eunjung removes her glasses and massages her tired eyes after long hour of staring at her computer, her vision gets a bit blurred, stretching her neck left and right hoping to get rid of the tiredness.

“Do you need a massage?” Hyomin removes her earphones and asks

“Uh?” Again, Eunjung is taken by a blissful surprise, Hyomin doesn’t wait for the answer when she gets up and walks to stand behind Eunjung. Hyomin places her hands above Eunjung’s shoulder and starts giving her a shoulder massage. Eunjung closes her eyes, feeling relaxed, but more than physically relieved, Eunjung’s heart is beating again, she is savoring a blissful moment, which is like water pouring to her withering soul.

While giving Eunjung’s massage, Hyomin happens to take a glimpse of what Eunjung has been writing, she reads through a part of the content, it describes about a woman, suffered from depression and anxiety and drowned in an unexplainable sadness while going through a collapsing relationship with her lover. Hyomin’s heart is sorry once she read it, she feels connected to it. Hyomin inaudibly gasps upon her realization, she feels her heart sinks, and buries in guilt.

Is Eunjung describing about herself?    

To confirm what she is suspecting, Hyomin gets moving,she walks to their bedroom when Eunjung resumes her work of writing. She remembers seeing Eunjung taking some pills and when Hyomin asked, she told her it was for stress relief, Hyomin didn’t know why she didn’t care to ask further why Eunjung was taking such pill back then, she was busily getting dressed for her party at time

Hyomin opens a drawer on a bed stand on Eunjung’s sleeping side where she finds a bottles of pill, but that’s not all she finds, a few more of them with different labels mark on them, Hyomin is stunned to see what it is for. Why didn’t she notice it back then? How long has she been ignoring Eunjung enough not to even know that her lover was going through the internal struggle alone? What kind of lover she was to put other things before her loved one?

It explained why Eunjung could be easily moody or sad for no reason, even though Hyomin tried to cheer her up, and when it happened more often, Hyomin got fed up and let Eunjung be, and Hyomin sometimes ignored it thinking that Eunjung was just emotional, and many time when Hyomin got tired, she completely didn’t even care so when they fought, she didn’t bother to make it up.

Closing the drawer, Hyomin leans her back against the closet, hugging her knees, and let the guilt and self-blame joining a fight club to beat her up. Feeling her heart is beating in pain, Hyomin honestly doesn’t know how to do to make up to those time where she left Eunjung alone and she was chasing her own dream or even ignored her.

How many nights did Eunjung go to sleep alone without her by her side?, Will every morning she wake up from now enough to make it up to her? And how many morning does she have left to wake up to this miracle, Hyomin doesn’t know. She can’t force back her tear anymore, when throbbing pains remind her how many wrong steps she made to get them where they were and where they are. Hyomin silently sobs, lost in her unsettled thoughts and how to solve the issue.

“Hyomin ah”

 Hyomin looks up to meet a concerned expression when Eunjung sees her tear falling down on her cheeks, she swiftly makes her way to knell down in front of Hyomin, “What’s wrong?” Eunjung’s voice is filled with nothing but concern. Hyomin shakes her head but tears don’t stop as she stares into those eyes, which Hyomin was never aware they hid sadness and sorrow.

“Eunjung ah, I’m sorry” Hyomin sobs in between her speaking.

“What’s for?” Eunjung is confused, she pulls Hyomin for a hug, Hyomin rests her head in Eunjung’s chest, where she can hear Eunjung’s heart. Why didn’t she know it then, how much her sound of heartbeat means to her?

“For everything” Hyomin says

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but no problem and don’t worry about it” Eunjung cheers up, she bends down to give a crying girl a kiss on her hair.

“Eunjung ah” Hyomin calls her name

“Yeah?” Eunjung responds

“Please stay strong, no matter where you are, please always remember that I love you” Hyomin says, she wants Eunjung to know it.

“Why are you being so emotional these days?” Eunjung holds Hyomin tight.

“Because of you” Hyomin answers

“Why am I the one to be blamed now?” Eunjung light-heartedly teases, she breaks a hug, and wipes away Hyomin’s tear.

“And sorry for always blaming you” Hyomin lowers her head.

“Nah, stop saying sorry already” Eunjung protests

“Sorry but I love you” Hyomin says

“That’s okay then, because I love you too” .Smiles graces up on both of their faces

 ------------------------

No matter how much Hyomin desires to wake up to a day where they decided to divorce, it doesn’t come and instead, she finally wakes up to her own room, at her parents’, she sighs hopelessly. She couldn’t do anything to change the past or the truth that they are divorcing. Hyomin wants to sleep in more, but with her schedule, she has to get ready and lives her life until the journey of her back in time travelling ends.

Then a dejavu begins:

“As you are free now, why don’t you go and give Eunjung ssi a support at fan sign event?” Her manager suggests, his mention of Eunjung name catches Hyomin’s attention, she tiles her head and furrows her brow in confusion

“I know it’s not in your schedule but as her fan sign is just another floor away, you should make a surprise appearance” He innocently persuades, clueless of the truth that Hyomin didn’t reveal yet.

“Oh, it’s organized here?” Hyomin asks, she hides her excitement to see Eunjung  

 “It’s on third floor” He confirms

“Thanks oppa, you are right, I should go and give her a little support” Hyomin smiles thankfully at him. Hyomin knows this is not gonna makes up to it, but she at least hopes, her appearance to support Eunjung shall do a little for her day.

Everything happened just like that day, Hyomin stares at Eunjung from afar and is lost in her thought until it’s her turn to get the autograph. Her appearance doesn’t only take Eunjung’s off guard but makes her stunningly surprised, while draws more attention from media and press, they look happy to see Hyomin and Eunjung there there. While Hyomin is truly happy to see Eunjung there, for those times she missed, she is actually making it happen to show her support for Eunjung on the unforgettable day of her life

“Congratulation” Hyomin said

“Thank you so much for coming” Eunjung said

“I hope your book will be well-received” Hyomin wished 

“Thank you, please read it well” Eunjung cheered, her eyes holds a meaning that Hyomin is bounded to stare at them longer and for a longest time, they didn’t want to break the stare

“Do you need my feedback?” Hyomin asks

“I would appreciate if you could do” Eunjung smiles

“Eunjung ssi, Hyomin ssi, please look at this camera please” A cameraman called for their attention so they turned around for a photo shot after they were done

Hyomin turned around to give Eunjung a hand shake, and wished her luck, but  Eunjung got up from her seat and threw her arms around Hyomin and gave her a hug “Thanks really, it means a lot to me” Eunjung whispered . Hyomin sniffed in Eunjung’s perfume and closes her eyes, she wished she had done this before.

Hyomin gulps, it doesn’t make sense but every time she wakes up, she smells this perfume scent, does it has something to do with all of this? Hyomin doesn’t know but now she has to move and gives way to Eunjung’s fans, they are waiting in a long line.

Once Hyomin gets into a van, she flips through a random page of the book, she caught a glimpse of Eunjung scribbling something in and there she finds it ,“No matter where I am, I’ll always remember that you love me”  , Hyomin is awestruck by the message, that is a response to what Hyomin told Eunjung in one of those days, which it means Eunjung was there to listen what she said when she travelled back in time? The more Hyomin thinks, the more she gets confused.

“Oppa?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I cancel my schedule tonight?”

“No, you can’t”

Hyomin groans, tonight seems to be only availability to meet Eunjung because she is scheduled for fan meeting overseas tomorrow where she will never want to cancel it. Contemplating what to do, it’s hard to know if she would be wake up to a day where Eunjung would come to see her at home and they went out for a ride, where she rejected Eunjung’s offer. If Hyomin changed her answer, would it change the fact that Eunung went missing?

Hyomin can’t change a major event and ends up coming to the movie premiers where she was invited to watch a movie of famous actors and actress starring. Hyomin is seated in VIP guests zone and a movie is about to start when she catches a glimpse of familiar back, her heart races up with joy, Eunjung is seated a row in front of her.

“Excuse me” Hyomin politely bows to celebrities next to her before reaches to nudge Eunjung’s back, Eunjung turns around, confused but then it turns into a smile. Hyomin bends forward to whisper

“Can we talk after the movie?”

“Sure” 

A guy next to Eunjung who happens to be an actor asks if they would want to switch the seats, but they decline politely and wait until the movie ends. Eunjung is waiting to walk out with Hyomin.

“I didn’t know you were coming?” Hyomin starts a conversation

“I made my decision at the last minute; a script writer is my friend” Eunjung replies

“I see” Hyomin nods

Hyomin has so much she wanted to say but when she is in front of Eunjung now she doesn’t know why she can’t mutter a word, it must be fact that they are no longer together which makes it harder for her to react, not like those days when she were given chances to wake up again in their apartment where Eunjung still belonged to her.

“You said you wanna talk, is it something about our divorce?” Eunjung mentions it, her eyes are holding sadness and sorrow like that day, and now Hyomin knows the reason behind it, her heart is pained to witness them.

“No, it’s not” Hyomin denies, that’s the last thing she wants to talk now. She contemplates if she should ask Eunjung frankly about it. 

“Did you read my book?’ Eunjung asks out of nowhere

“Eh?” Hyomin exclaims audibly

“You haven’t read it right? Eunjung asks again

“I haven’t read it yet” Hyomin honestly admits

“It’s okay, I know you’re busy” Eunjung fakes a smile and Hyomin knows it

“I’ll read it soon” Hyomin promises

“Thanks for coming today” Eunjung says, “You have no ideas how much it means to me” 

“I know, and I wish I could have done it then” Hyomin reveals her feeling.

“It’s a shame that we can’t turn back the time” Eunjung states, and regret is obvious

Hyomin steals a glance at Eunjung. If Eunjung said so, would it mean that she’s the only one travelling back in time now.

“But I’m glad you made it this time” Eunjung smiles, Hyomin smiles back.   

“Eunjung, do you think we should get..”

“Hey Eunjung”

Hyomin can’t finish her sentence when someone calls Eunjung’s name. Eunjung turns to a voice and she is greeted by her friend, who Hyomin recognizes her as a script writer, Hyomin bows to her

“Oh, Hyomin ssi, it’s nice to meet you” She excitedly greets, she forgets about Eunjung’s partner completely and only sent an invitation out for Eunjung alone but she didn’t know Hyomin would be coming.

“You guys finally make it together” She comments, for it has been awhile that they are seen together and nobody yet knows about their divorce.

“We are invited separately” Hyomin explains

“Ah, I see” She nods, “ How are you Hyomin-ssi?

“I’m glad thank you” Hyomin smiles

 “Eunjung always speaks greatly about you” Her friend reveals

“Oh doesn’t she?” Hyomin turns to look at Eunjung

“Yeah, she always tells us how great you are” Her friend adds

“Yah, stop it” Eunjung tells her friend

“Alright, I can’t sell her out much, if not she won’t help me for my next project” Her friends teases and Hyomin just smiles.

Hyomin takes it that Eunjung’s friend may want to talk to her about work, so she excuses herself, making up another excuse about something she has to attend. But before she leaves them alone, Eunjung pulls her for a hug, and in return, without holding herself back, Hyomin gives a peck on Eunjung’s cheek, and whispers something in Eunjung’s ear “No matter how hard, but I’ll find you Eunjung”

------------------------

Beautiful Goodbye

Dedicated to the love of my life , HM  

Hyomin feels her eyes blurry from the first page as she is trying to read a book which Eunjung wrote.

It was a week after Eunjung went missing and they had no idea where she could have gone without any contact and it wasn’t like Eunjung at all to do so, not to her parents at least, she loves her parents so much than to leave them worry just like that.

“How do you have a heart to do this to us Eunjung?”  

Hyomin mumbles as she starts reading the novel. Although the characters in the books were nothing to portray them but Hyomin knows Eunjung wrote it from her deepest perspectives and feelings, and some events were adapted from their true story, Hyomin is so into the book and feels her heart wrench by every word, she feels like she was sitting next to Eunjung and feels her pain. As told by a glimpse, Hyomin saw in the past, it was a story about the love life of a lovely couple, who after time, failed to take care of each other hearts and by the time they knew it, both hearts were broke and bruised by their careless acts, but worse than that, was a main character who was living a pain of struggling and fighting her depression alone and was tempted to take her own life every day, but hung in there by the memories, that she was holding onto , and the only thing that kept her alive.

Hyomin’s heart sinks deeper with every chapter she reads, and she is sure Eunjung was talking about herself, those pains in the book make Hyomin’s heart ache, and she can’t put the book down when she is desperate to find out the ending, where her hands are shaking when she reaches the last page:

“In the midst of the lonely wood, she walks deeper and deeper with no turning back, no one she has to worry about, for she released them with her beautiful goodbye and now it’s time to set herself free , until we meet again, no matter where I am, I’ll remember that you love me, and I love you too”

Hyomin feels it hard to breathe when she is choked up with tear, her heart is being ripped off as soon as she finishes the ending og Eunjung's story. As minutes goes by her sob becomes louder and louder that she has to punch her own chest when she can’t breathe. The book now is laid unattended on the floor, it flips upside down when it was thrown away. Hyomin is breaking down, she has no idea how long she has been crying, until she has no more strength to cry and passes out.

***

Hyomin wakes up to a dull and dusty room of their empty apartment, she finds herself in the same clothes that she wore when she walked into this apartment after roaming around the town to look for Eunjung but couldn’t find her and ended up taking a nap on this sofa. Getting up from a sofa, she coughs as her nose is greeted by the dust, is sore and dry. The light is on and when she looks outside the window, it’s dark, so it means she doesn’t wake up to next morning but still in that same evening time, Hyomin feels thirsty and walks up to the kitchen, hoping to get something to drink, but forgot that they have moved out with nothing in the fridge. Hyomin heaves a long sigh, she is about to move back to the living room and leaves when she hears the sounds dragging feet on the floor, Hyomin is alerted

“Who is that?” Hyomin feels fear creeping in her heart, when the sound of dragging feet gets nearer

“It’s me” The voice is fainted and tired, but it makes Hyomin freeze in her spot, she doesn’t dare to turn around.

“I went down to get you water and something to eat” She says

Hyomin can’t explain how she feels, her body is shivering but for what reason, she musters her courage to turn around where she finds Eunjung standing there, holding a plastic bag of water and food from a convenient store. Eunjung smiles at her and Hyomin swears she’s gonna do anything to keep herself awake if she would see this face forever.

Hyomin walks closer to Eunjung, she looks at those eyes, faint sadness are still there but they hold more joy this time, Hyomin doesn’t fight back her tear and let it win, she doesn’t care if it would blur her vision now.  Eunjung stumbles back when Hyomin throws her a hug, she drops the stuff on the floor and holds Hyomin back. Hyomin closes her eyes and she smells the same perfume scent. She feels Eunjung’s heartbeat against her chest.

 “I’ll never let you go again” Hyomin cries on Eunjung’s shoulder

In the darkness, Eunjung was suffering the awful sadness where she didn’t expect anyone to understand. Eunjung thought it through when she brought herself to this faraway place, she wanted her soul to rest in peace and felt no more suffer, standing there Eunjung was at a verge between life and death. But before she was to go, she wanted to remember the good memories she had while she was living this life.

Memory after memory was reminded, Eunjung cried and smiled at the same time thinking of them, and among those, there were some memories shined brighter than other; One of them was when she felt so loved to be hugged by Hyomin when the latter tried to make up after their fight, then the night Hyomin suddenly ran out in the middle of the night and came back with that little special cake, or even a normal day when Hyomin gave up on her plan to just sit there with her, and that one last peck Hyomin gave the night before she left at the movie premier event.

Simple little act that someone might think it was nothing, but meant a lot to someone who was going through a suffer. And for Hyomin as a lover,  it meant she tried to be a better lover for her. In a blink of eyes, a thought flashed through Eunjung’s mind, her happy memories with this woman pulled her back, Hyomin was a reason that Eunjung was living, she was the truth and the love that was gonna lead Eunjung home, at that very moment, it saved her.

“Thank you for the your love you gave me, it lead me home” Eunjung says as tears run down her face

--------------------------------

At a book launch event, Eunjung is being interviewed for a review and story behind her pocketbook, which is different from her previous novel, and it’s more like how-to book this time.

MC: Why do you change for a novel to a know-how book this time?
Eunjung: I need to share some of my experiences and how to inspire people facing the same situation to bounce back”

MC: You seem to have a wonderful life, have you ever been through those kinds of difficulties?”

Eunjung: Of course yes, and I think every one of us must go through some kind of difficult situation at one point of life

MC: I think everyone is curious about the title of the book, Lover after you

Eunjung: Ah yeah

MC: That sounds like you have two lovers, I mean one before the other, I guess Hyomin ssi wants to know too

At his mention, everyone turns to look at Hyomin who is seated at the far corner, she is here to support Eunjung, upon the mention of her name, and she giggles and hides her face in embarrassment.

Eunjung: Thanks Hyomin-ssi for coming. Back to your question, no it’s not about two lovers, it’s only one 

MC: How come?

Eunjung: All I can tell you now, it’s the only one, and surely is Hyomin-ssi.

MC: Aw, look, you are making your fans go wild now, would you give us more spoiler?

Eunjung: I guess that’s for you to find out.

Hyomin is standing at the corner at the back stage, and waiting for Eunjung to finish her work. She smiles when she sees Eunjung stepping closer, with the flower Hyomin gave her earlier.

“Thanks for coming” Eunjung says, Hyomin smells the scent of her perfume when Eunjung shoves her arm around her waist, Hyomin just smiles as a response.

“Are you done?” Hyomin asks

“Yes, I am done, why?” Eunjung asks

“I told my manager oppa to go back already so I guess I’m going home with you” Hyomin says nonchalantly , Eunjung smiles and notes Going home with you .

“Anything special you want to eat tonight?” Hyomin asks , Eunjung ponders.

 “How about a cake?” Eunjung says

“Cake?” Hyomin repeats

“A cake you once got for my birthday, from a convenient store? ” Eunjung describes , Hyomin feels shiver upon hearing Eunjung’s description

 “I like it a lot” Eunjung smiles,“ Let’s get some” she suggests before taking Hyomin hand and leads her to a car

Hyomin wanted to ask and always feels the urge to ask, but what the use of knowing it, something is too hard to explain or believe but Hyomin is grateful to be given those chances to fix little things that nobody thought , it could change someone life. The miracle which is not happening to everyone,  but Hyomin and Eunjung. Stealing a side glance at Eunjung, Hyomin can honestly say she is happy to be with her now and then, it’s not easy to go through those tough days with her, but it’s much better than to say goodbye, because she never wants her to leave ever again.

“Why is lover after you?”

“Because you are”

“How?” 

“I love you then and I love you now, it was you and it’s still you and that’s the same person, you and my lover”

It takes a beautiful goodbye to find a lover after you

------------------------------ THE END ----------------------------

A/N : EunMin / HahmPark One shot