The school bell finally rings. That’s the only thing that Ryujin has been waiting for all day honestly. For her class to finally ended. Because she seriously can’t stay awake for another hour. She needs her bed so bad.

“Chaeryeong-ah, c’mon let’s go.” Ryujin said to her best friend slash seat mate as she fixes the strap of her bag.

“Ah right! I forget to tell you that i can’t go home together with you today. Sorry, Ryujin-ah. I have to wait for Chaeyeon unnie. Mom gave us some errand to do after school. Do you want to tag along? Just some quick shopping.”

“Ah.. that’s okay. I’ll pass. I need to go home and be in my bed asap.” Ryujin tiredly rubbing her eyes.

Chaeryeong feels bad for her best friend. She seriously looks like a zombie today.

“Right. You should. Do you think it’ll be okay for you to walk home on your own? I mean with your condition like this.. Should i call for Lia unnie or Yeji unnie to accompany you?” Chaeryeong worriedly eyeing her best friend.

“What am i? A 5 years old kid? I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’m just sleepy. Not dying.” Ryujin snickered. “And please, leave those two. They are busy enough with their lives as a 12 grader.”

“I’m not worrying you. I just asked you out of courtesy.” Chaeryeong replied as she fixes the strap of her bag, purposely avoiding Ryujin’s knowing gaze.

“Eyy.. Stop trying to hide it, Chae. I know how much you love me. Though you will never admit it out loud.” Ryujin purposely sent her friend a rather gross wink and then jutted her tongue out, teasing her even more.

Their friendship is admirable but far from sweet because the two acted more like bros instead of sisters with each other.

They will always be there to help each other, to protect each other and all, but being overly sweet and clingy just aren’t their style.

“Yah you!” Chaeryeong lifted her hand and pretended as if she wants to hit Ryujin.

Ryujin quickly took a step back out of reflex and raised her both hands to shield herself from any possible attack while giggling happily.

Chaeryeong put her hand down and sighed. “Just go home already, okay? Text me once you’re home. And watch where you’re going.”

“Yes, mother.” Ryujin playfully gave her a deep bow and then wave her goodbye.

***

Ryujin has to squinted her eyes as soon as she stepped out of the school building. Today’s sunlight is just too bright for her sleepy eyes. It seriously hurts her eyes.

And not to mention the annoying heat. Because it’s almost summer now. And Ryujin can’t stand heat that well.

So she starts to walk faster, hoping she can reach home faster that way, when suddenly she heard some heavy footsteps coming from behind her. Or more like approaching her in a full speed.

Before she could turn her body to check it, those footsteps come to a halt and she can feel someone’s presence beside. It doesn’t startle her a bit when a warm slender hand makes its way to circling around Ryujin’s shoulder, pulling her closer toward the person’s body in a protective manner.

And Ryujin can feel the heat is not that strong attacking her anymore. Not with a familiar blue umbrella, that the person beside her securely place above her head.

Ryujin doesn’t have to look up to know.

This scent. This touch. The way her body reacted toward the person. She knows it all too well.

So with her eyes are still fixing on the road at her front, Ryujin slowering her walking pace, trying to match it with the person beside her.

“Thank you.” Ryujin softly mumbled her thank you, and hide her smile.

Just to get yelled at.

“Yah! Are you crazy walking in an open space without umbrella or anything in this kind of weather? You could fall sick at this rate!” Yeji starts to nag.

Yeji might look nonchalant, so care-free. Care-less even. About anything or even about her own self. But she will never stop caring for people that she truly cares about. And Ryujin is one of them. To be fair, there are not so many people in that list. Just some. And that’s what makes it even more meaningful.

“I didn’t bring my umbrella nor jacket to school today. Too sleepy to care. I even skipped my breakfast because i woke up late. But thanks to Lia unnie. She gave me her banana milk this morning. And Chaeryeong shared her bread with me.”

“... I’m sorry.” Yeji bowed her head down and pouted, like a kid that just get reprimanded by her mother. Ryujin softly smiles at the sight. How cute Yeji when she’s pouting like that.

Ryujin lifted her hand, wanted to pinch Yeji’s cheek but she dismissed the idea and give Yeji a gentle pat on her back instead.

“I know you are. But i also know it won’t stop you from doing it again.”

Yeji just laughed loudly hearing the remark, throwing her head back. Ryujin knows her too well, indeed. And she just hit the bull’s eye. Not that Yeji surprised or anything. She and Ryujin are close like that.

They know what each other likes and dislikes. They know the meaning behind each other smile and frown. Even without any words exchanged, they will still understand what’s inside each other’s mind. At least that’s what they thought.

Because actually, both of girls have their own deepest secret that they try to hide from each other.

“I can’t help it. You know i can’t stop myself from doing it.” Yeji mischievously grinned, showing a set of her white pearly small teeth. Now she resembles the light fury dragon even more.

Ryujin lifted her eyebrow.

“Stop bugging and disturbing me you mean?”

“Yeah. You are my drug, Ryuttaeng-ah. I will always need you.” Yeji snuggled closer toward the younger, seems doesn’t care a bit about how sweaty their bodies against each other and rub their heads together. Now she resembles a cat.

But Ryujin being Ryujin. Savage as always.

“And you are my troublemaker, Yetteong-ah. You will always bring troubles to me.”

Just like that the two burst into laughter as they playfully push each other away.

***

(In front of Ryujin’s house)

“Thank you for walking me to home. Do you wanna get inside and cool down a bit? I still have some cokes and ice cream inside the fridge. And Yuna will be happy too to see you.” Ryujin said, pretend to be nonchalant even bringing her little sister into the conversation when actually she’s the one who’s secretly hoping Yeji would say yes.

“Ah..” Yeji awkwardly scratched her nape.

“I have to meet someone. I’ll take a rain check, kay? Sorry..” Yeji guiltily smiled.

“Another date eh?” Ryujin tried to be cool and unaffected.

She can’t show it on her face how her heart breaks a little at the thought. Knowing Yeji will spend her time and being lovey-dovey with another person who is not her. Yet again. Like always.

It will never be her, she sadly thought.

“Yeah..” Yeji nodded as she checked the time on her phone.

“A boy or girl this time?”

“Girl. I think i’m more into girls than boys.” Yeji grinned.

“I’m a girl too. Should we try to date?” Ryujin smirked as she moved her eyebrows suggestively.

Yeji just laughed at that as she’s waving her hand, rejecting the idea.

“Don’t be crazy, Ryuttaeng.”

“Why? Am i not pretty enough for you?” Ryujin challenged.

She knows she has to be careful. She should not be too obvious. It can be dangerous. Yeji might find it suspicious if Ryujin showed too much of her true feelings for the older. But Ryujin thinks she at least deserve a try. And even if Yeji finds it weird and ask her why, she can just say she was just being playful with the older. The question is harmless. Besides, Ryujin really curious to death to know the older’s answer.

There were a few seconds of total silence as the two girls just look at each other wordlessly.

But then Yeji smiled. The older girl gave Ryujin a sad smile that Ryujin can’t really decipher the meaning behind it.

“Unnie?” Ryujin started to feel worry. Maybe Yeji finally understand her feeling. The older girl finally found out about her deepest secret. What should she do now? “I—“

“Come close.” Yeji beckoned the younger with her hand.

“Huh?”

“Unnie said come closer.” Yeji repeated but firmer and clearer this time.

Ryujin takes one step forward. Albeit hesitantly.

“No. Closer.” Yeji said.

Ryujin takes two steps forward. Now she’s standing right in front of Yeji with almost no space in between the edge of their shoes.

Yeji bent her body slightly to match the younger’s eye level and smiled sweetly at Ryujin.

Ryujin went panic on the inside. Yeji is being too close right now. There’s no more room for her to hide from the older girl. She’s really scared Yeji might able to hear how loud her heart beats right now. But she forced herself to stand still unmoved and look back into Yeji’s deep black orbs. If she avoided those eyes, Yeji might find her behavior weird.

Yeji then raised her right hand to pat the shorter girl’s head.

“You will always be enough.” Yeji whispered out, still looking deep into Ryujin’s eyes.

Ryujin’s heart goes even madder now.

Yeji keeps patting Ryujin’s head, caressing her hair and let her hand to tangle with Ryujin’s soft hair before she let go.

“Shin Ryujin..” Yeji’s eyes suddenly get softer as she called out the younger’s name.

“No. Don’t. Please don’t look at me like this again. Because everytime you did it, you make me feel like my feeling is not that one sided after all. As if you love me too. When i know it’s all just in my head. So please stop. Don’t give me hope. Don’t make me to start hoping again. Please.” Ryujin inwardly pleaded.

“You know i can kill if i have to. I can kill if someone hurt you. So do you expect me to kill myself?” Yeji suddenly said, bringing Ryujin back from her deep thought.

“Huh?”

“I will never date you, silly. Be it just for fun, for a bet or anything. I won’t. I won’t date you.” Yeji said it loud and clear.

Ouch. That hurts as . To be rejected like that even without any confession made. To finally hear the rejection out loud from the older’s mouth.

Ryujin tried her best to not just break down and cry right there and then. Instead she forced out a smile to cover her heartbreak.

“I see.” Ryujin nodded and bite her lower lip hard to prevent any whimper escaped from .

“Won’t you ask me why, Ryujinie?”

Ryujin shook her head. Too scared her voice would betray her if she tries to speak again this time.

But Yeji will never take no as an answer. She will always do it her way.

“Because i can’t trust myself. I didn’t do love. I didn’t do relationship. I’m just seeking for fun with those people. I will never commit to anyone. I’m a free-wild spirit. So i know i will only hurt them in the end. I will only hurt those people who love me. I know that and yet i’m fine with it. But with you, i don’t want to hurt you. Ever. So i will never date you. And you too, should not love me, you hear me? You deserve to be with someone who really deserves you. While i’ll keep looking after you from the side. Like i will kill your husband if he ever hurt you. And then help you to look for a new husband afterward.” Yeji ended her sincere ‘speech’ with an innocent grin.

“How could you still smiling at me like that? After so firmly rejecting me. Talking about killing someone for me so lightly like that. Talking about staying by my side, looking after me, just to help me to find someone who really deserve me. What should we do if the only person i want to be deserving my love is you? How dare you telling me to not love you? It’s all too late now, unnie. I love you. I really love you. What should we do now, unnie?”