From the 1st to the 7th year, we were in EXID. We spent almost every day together, and we worked hard together. We started from the bottom, and made it to the top together. Even then, we refused to let fame change us, and always challenged ourselves, each other, to do better every time. That resulted in several high notes for you, and you struggled to hit them, and for that, I'm sorry. But you really did pull it off really well. And that just made me want to write more songs for you.

I’ve loved you, even from before you joined EXID. You were a strict vocal coach, but I could tell that you are really very kind and caring. You were just trying to maintain the boundary between teacher and student, afraid to step past that boundary. I fell for you even more after you joined EXID and stopped holding yourself back, and we began to see more of the real you. I was pleasantly surprised when you confessed to me. Now that the boundary no longer existed, you didn’t have to hold back anymore. You wanted me, and you no longer had a reason to be afraid.

In the 8th year, we went on an indefinite hiatus. Yet, fans stood at our side and continued to follow our lives on our SNS. They realised eventually that we were living together. Guess we weren’t as subtle as we tried to be. We were so afraid to gain hate and raise controversies, but we didn’t have to be afraid after all. Did you know that many fans actually ship us together? We even have a pairing name, LeSol. Every day, I read out the comments that supported us to ease your worries. Every day, I showed those comments to you, just to make you smile. I love your smile. I always want you to smile. Unnie, I love you.

In the 9th year, I was in an accident. Apparently, I suffered a hard blow to my head and lost all my memories. When I woke up, I couldn't even remember my own name. The one and only thing I remembered was that I love you. But not even that one memory alone, could tell me who you are.

FLASHBACK

"I love her."

"LE unnie?" The three girls surrounding her looked to her as tears streamed down her face.

"I love her. I love her. I love her." She looked down at her hands, her tears dropping onto them and the blankets below. "Why can't I remember her? I love her. I know I love her. But who is 'her'?"

END OF FLASHBACK

In the 10th and 11th year, I spent my time searching through my SNS and my whole phone for any information about you. I even read the previous entries in this book, which I assumed to be my diary. I seemed to be naming the years, so I followed along for continuity's sake. I found out that I was in a girl group called EXID as the rapper. I found out the 3 girls who have been with me since I woke up in the hospital are Heeyeon, Hyelin and Jeonghwa, who were in EXID with me. And then I found out that you were in EXID with us too. I wonder if that’s why I haven’t heard from you at all? Maybe you’re away on vacation somewhere, enjoying yourself. I hope you’re having fun. Maybe that’s why your SNS hasn’t had any updates for so long. I also found out that your name is Solji, and I saw how you look like from the various pictures I have of you. You look so pretty. I want to meet you too.

In the 12th and 13th year, my memory still didn't return. But that's ok. I've been spending my time looking through all the albums, all the pictures and videos I have of you. I went online and searched up everything I could find out about you, all the shows you were in, all the songs you sang. I heard how you sound like and I heard you sing. You have such an infectious smile. Your laugh makes everyone around you smile too. And you have such an angelic voice. Apparently, I wrote the songs we sang as EXID. That kinda makes me wanna write songs too. Maybe if I write songs, you'll come back to sing them. I hope you do.

In the 14th year, I broke down. Every single day has been so scary and uneasy for me, especially when I know everything, but I couldn't recognise them. Nothing is familiar to me, and I hate it. It felt like a dam in my heart had collapsed, and my fears and loneliness just came flooding out. I screamed and cried for hours. It didn't help that I recently found news that you once had Hyperthyroidism, which put you on hiatus for 2 years. They said you've since recovered, but why don't I see you anywhere? Were they all just a lie? Could you still be somewhere out there, laying in some hospital bed, still sick? I'm really worried about you. I want to know if you're really ok. All I need is to hear your voice. All I need is to see you. Even just a single glimpse of you will do. Please don't just leave me like this. I'm scared. I'm lonely. I want to see you. Where are you?

In the 15th year, I couldn't stand it anymore. The house feels suffocating to me. Everything reminds me of you, so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time. I just need to get out for a while. I just want to find you, to see you. I want to get to where you are. I need to get to where you are. I need you.