Making her way into the practice room, Joohyun partially closed the door and sat down . Putting her hand on her forehead, she tried to process her feelings to herself: “Okay, let’s be logical here.  Yes, it’s odd that she comes home late and hung-over, since she isn’t a party person. And she knows I can be trusted, so why doesn’t she just tell me who it is?” Joohyun couldn’t help sighing, knowing that, for the first time that she could remember, Seulgi was keeping secrets from her.  “Okay, so why is this bothering me? “ she thought to herself, furrowing her brow inadvertently. “Yes, Seulgi is a great friend, and I love spending time with her, more so than with most people.. So how would I feel if she now has a new best friend? “ Joohyun pondered, and realizing that it probably wouldn’t change what they had, she felt somewhat reassured. Maybe she wouldn’t be the first one she confided in, but clearly it would be easier to keep coming to her than contacting someone else on the phone or however.   So why was it still so hard to accept?

Frustrated with herself, Joohyun covered her face with her hands again, and was startled when she heard a knock on the door frame, Looking up, she saw it was Seulgi.  “Okay,” she thought, “she wants to talk, let’s do this”. Keeping her composure, she asked Seulgi what was up, and when she heard her ask for advice, she couldn’t help smiling. “I was right, she still needs me”, she thought to herself happily, repressing the nagging concern about what she might actually hear.  “Come, sit,’ she said, patting the chair next to her. Watching Seulgi clasping her hands in front of herself, Joohyun could tell that she was nervous, so she reached out and gently put her hands on top of hers. She couldn’t help feeling a bit soft from the warmth of Seulgi’s hands, but remained focused. Reminding Seulgi she could tell her anything, and looking into her eyes, Joohyun prompted her to open up.  

However, she wasn’t quite ready for what Seulgi said next:  “The friend i told you about, I think.. I think she is more than just a friend now…. what.. what should I do?” . 

While the words were sinking in Joohyun realized she wasn’t doing a good job hiding the unexpected feeling of pain she felt, but repressed it quickly when she saw Seulgi tear up. “Focus, Joohyun, this isn’t about you” she told herself. “She needs you!”

Grabbing a tissue from a box nearby, she handed it to Seulgi, reassuring her:  “Thank you for confiding in me.. You know you can always trust me, I am always here for you.” But Joohyun realized she couldn’t let this go now, she had to know more.   Did she really mean what it sounded like? putting her fist in front of , she pressed on: “So.. what do you mean by more than just a friend? Are we talking like new best friend, or like I mean.. “  feeling herself getting shy, she had a hard time finishing her sentence. “..I mean like umm girlfriend friend?” she finished awkwardly.  

Noticing Seulgi blushing and covering her face with her hands she started suspecting the worst, and she could feel a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, which got more intense when Seulgi finally answered: “Ummm maybe more like the second thing.. “.  

“Oh.. “ Joohyun said, trying to keep calm, her mind racing to think of all logical reasons that this wasn’t what it seemed like.  “so like you got drunk and then you accidentally kissed each other or something?”. She said, coming up with the least serious possible version of events given what she had just heard.  

But that small hope vanished when Seulgi shook her head and answered.  “We shared a special moment,” she said. “And we both confessed our feelings to each other” she finished, covering even more of her face with her hands. 

Unable to say anything, Joohyun tried to take in what she just heard.  Seulgi had a girlfriend.. Not just a close friend…not just a crush… an actual girlfriend.. Her mind was racing. Taking a deep breath, she was finally able to talk.   “I see.. “ she finally said. “That makes everything a lot more complicated..” she added coldly, regretting her tone immediately when she noticed how embarrassed Seulgi was.  “This isn’t inevitable yet” she thought to herself, speculating about ways she could make this new confusing reality go away. Reassuring Seulgi, she put her hands on her shoulders:  “You could tell the person you were drunk and that you didn’t really mean it” she said, proud of herself for coming up with such a simple solution. But that feeling went away when she saw Seulgi shake her head.  “I guess it’s time to get serious,” she thought, and suggested that Seulgi should remind the other person of their no dating policy.  

However, when Seulgi insisted that she really loved the person, Joohyun’s mind went reeling and she could feel herself pulling out all the stops.  “Well then” she said, her teeth gritted. “Technically, per our contract, it says that if you do not comply with the no dating rule, the company reserves the right to take disciplinary measures, up to and including terminating the agreement with...”  However, before finishing she saw the tears running down Seulgi’s face and realized she had gone way to far. Angry at herself, she realized how hurtful and insensitive she had just been. 

Snapping out of it, she put her hands back on Seulgi’s shoulders and tried to reassure her: “But Seulgi, you know how important you are to me.. And the group.. I wouldn’t let that happen. I will help you keep it secret, everything is going to be okay” she finished, repressing her impulses and trying to be as comforting as she could be. “Oh yeah, I should give her a hug” she thought to herself, knowing it wasn’t her thing, but realizing it would probably make Seulgi feel better. Pulling her close for a hug, and experiencing the warmth of the embrace, she couldn’t help letting her feelings towards Seulgi well up inside her, but made sure to hide them well.   However, she also realized nothing would ever be quite the same again.