As Joohyun did her Really Bad Boy finishing pose at the end of their live stage recording, she felt a sense of pride. They had done a great job, and all of them had hit their timing just right. “Sometimes it is great to be the leader of such consummate professionals”, she thought to herself.   However, looking over to Seulgi, she could see she was having some doubts, so she walked over and patted her gently on her back. “See, I told you it would be fine.” she said in her most reassuring tone. Realizing they were the last ones left on the stage, she carefully nudged Seulgi forwards. As they cleared the hanging curtain, Joohyun noticed Sunmi standing there, smiling happily in a shimmering blue dress. “Wow, she really is stunning,” she thought to herself, before looking away self consciously. With her hand still on Seulgi’s back, she was startled to feel someone touching it, and turned to notice Sunmi and Seulgi hugging. Pulling her hand free quickly, she heard Seulgi awkwardly introduce her.  

  Smiling brightly, Sunmi reminded Seulgi that she had met Joohyun several times, and surprised Joohyun again by grabbing both her hands and thanking her for letting Seulgi participate in Secret Unnie earlier in the year, despite their busy schedule.  Trying to remain calm and seem polite, Joohyun smiled, and started responding. “Oh, of course, you two seemed to have a great time on..” Suddenly the realization hit her like a bolt of lightning. She could feel her ears ring and her mind spin. “Oh.. my.. God.. “ she thought.. “It’s her.. It has to be.. How could I have been so blind?” Noticing that both Sunmi and Seulgi were looking at her with awkward bemusement, she quickly concluded her sentence: “.. that show..” before getting lost in thought again trying to figure this all out. She vaguely felt Sunmi let go of her hands and hastily say something before rushing off, but it seemed a hundred miles away. “So it was Sunmi.. Why did it have to be Sunmi..” she thought to herself.  She had hoped it was someone she didn’t really respect, that she could easily dismiss, but Sunmi was one of the most likable people around, which made this all the more sobering and real. Looking over at Seulgi, who was avoiding her glance, she tried hard to think about what to say next, but was interrupted by the editor, who needed her urgent presence in the editing room. Feeling herself torn between staying and going, she realized she needed some time to think anyway. “We need to talk later!” she said before heading off, accentuating it by pointing, but cringing at herself for the gesture moments later. “Maybe I am just jumping to conclusions..” she thought to herself, but it all made too much sense, and she could tell by Seulgi’s body language that something was up.  

Joohyun tried to seem like she was paying attention while the editor was explaining the color grading and debating which shots to use, but her mind was still reeling from what she had just realized.   She smiled and nodded when she noticed pauses, but she really couldn’t care less at this point. “Sunmi.. Of course.. “ she thought to herself. She had been really busy with her own variety shows during the Secret Unnie taping, so she hadn’t seen them interact in person, and she was now keenly aware that she hadn’t even watched the episodes yet.  She had missed them when they were broadcast and the idea of watching Seulgi spending so much time with someone else must have bothered her enough to not to even watch the recordings, even though the rest of the group had praised them. If only she had, then maybe she had seen the signs, and this wouldn’t have been such a surprise. Shaking her head, she now remembered wondering why Seulgi was acting so weird back then.  She had clearly been too focused on her own things to put two and two together.  

Tilting her chair back and putting one hand on each side of her face, Joohyun thought hard about what this meant.   Sunmi was very high profile, and that made this far more risky privacy wise. She was also an icon of the LGBTQ+ community, so if people saw her with another woman, especially one who she had interacted with on television, they were going to start jumping to conclusions, which could get messy for both of them.  Joohyun thought back at how she had talked to some others in the community about the need to confront this, but it had never gone very far, so she hoped it didn’t have to come to that. Letting her mind wander, she suddenly sensed her emotions start to kick in. “Sunmi.. And Seulgi.. Together..” she thought wistfully.  She couldn’t deny they were a good match, which somehow bothered her even more, because that meant it might not end soon, if at all. A momentary feeling of emptiness washed over her as she realized her own relationship with Seulgi, whatever it actually was, would never be quite the same anymore.  

After finally getting the okay to leave from the editor, Joohyun walked down the hallway, still lost in thought.  She had to think of the right way to bring up what she had realized to Seulgi without her becoming self conscious or evasive.   She knew it wasn’t really any of her business to find out for sure, but if it really was Sunmi she needed to give her some more specific advice than she had so far, since the risk of being exposed had gone up quite a bit.  Making an extra loop down a side hallway rather than going back to their waiting room, she noticed an open door that she had the urge to close. Leaning in to grab the door, she was stunned to inside see Seulgi, leaned up against the wall, her eyes closed, her arms wrapped around someone with a very familiar blue dress, their faces so close that they were clearly engaged in something Joohyun at that moment realized she had not  wanted to see.  

The shock and embarrassment in Seulgi’s eyes when she opened them was enough to snap Joohyun out of her own deeply conflicted swirling emotions.  The feeling that remained was protectiveness mixed with a twist of something that felt annoyingly like jealousy. Seulgi’s surprise caused Sunmi to turn around as well, and she blushed brightly too when her eyes met Joohyun’s. Feeling confident that she had every right to call out this sort of careless behavior, Joohyun put her hands on her hips and told Sunmi they needed to talk.  After a few exchanged glances between Sunmi and Seulgi, Sunmi sheepishly headed to the door. Joohyun’s mind was racing thinking what to do next now, and was hoping she hadn’t been too dramatic. She felt guilty when Sunmi told Seulgi not to worry, but couldn’t back down now. Closing the door behind them, Joohyun hoped Seulgi would be okay, and promised herself to check on her as soon as she finished talking to Sunmi. 

Looking up at Sunmi, Joohyun couldn’t help be a bit intimidated by her grace and beauty, but she could tell by how Sunmi was biting her lip that she was having a similar feelings, with the added embarrassment of having just been caught in the act.  There were a few painful seconds as they decided who should talk first. Sunmi began awkwardly: “Joohyun Unnie.. It’s not what it.. Well I mean, I guess it is but.. I mean I didn’t just randomly..” 

Putting her hand up and shaking her head gently, Joohyun gestured Sunmi to stop. “Sunmi-ssi, its okay.. I knew Seulgi had feelings for someone.. And now I know without a doubt who she meant..” she said, not able to resist smirking.  Sunmi blushed and covered her face with her hands. “But it’s none of my business what you two do,” Joohyun continued. “Just please be careful, okay?” She said, tilting her head and trying to sound as calm as she could.  

Sunmi nodded. “This was my idea, I wanted to surprise her.. Let her know how I really feel, but we should have been a bit more careful.. “ she answered shyly.  Joohyun nodded too. 

“ Yeah, you two are lucky it was me that walked by and not some journalist or something, that would have been a mess..” she continued in a sarcastic tone, but realized she might have gone a bit too far when she saw Sunmi cover in dismay.   “But that didn’t happen.. So let’s just put this all behind us. I honestly am happy for you two. You’re a good fit... “ Joohyun continued, trying very hard to not let her concerns and possessiveness get the better of her.  

Sunmi smiled happy and grabbed Joohyuns hands.   “Thank you, Joohyun Unnie, it means so much to me that you approve..” she said happily.  

Joohyun blushed at the physical contact and flattery, and laughed nervously. “Heh of course.. Why wouldn’t I.. it’s great..” she said, trying hard to repress any doubts in her voice. “But umm.. I think I should reassure Seulgi now, you might want to head back before anyone notices. I’ve got this..” Joohyun continued. Sunmi agreed and headed quickly down the hallway, her hand on the side of her face, clearly still quite embarrassed by the whole situation.  Taking a deep breath, Joohyun turned and opened the door. 

Joohyun immediately felt guilty when she saw Seulgi sitting up against the wall with her hands covering her face. “Wow, I really ruined the moment didn’t I.. “ she thought to herself, feeling a mix of guilt and empathy.  Walking over to her, Joohyun sat down next to Seulgi and touched her arm while brushing the hair off her forehead. ““It’s okay Seulgi, really.. I am not mad at you.. I was just surprised..” she said as calmly as she could. “I had suspected it might be Sunmi, but.. “ she continued, noticing that she was unexpectedly self conscious.  

Seulgi blushed. “I hadn’t planned.. I didn’t know.. “ she started.  

“I know..” Joohyun said, and let her know Sunmi had told her this was her idea.  Seeing the sadness in Seulgi’s face, she wanted to do something to make her feel better. Lowering her hand from Seulgi’s forehead down the side of her face, she rested her fingers on her cheek and her thumb on her lips.  “I am happy for you, Seulgi... It must have felt very nice to feel her lips against yours” she continued softly, but then realized she was being way more sensual that she had intended. Upset at herself, she switched tone and gave Seulgi the same lecture she had just given Sunmi about almost being seen. 

Realizing she was overcorrecting, she tried to finish on a less negative note: “ We can talk later about how you can see her again, but right now in the middle of our critical promotion it is far too risky to take chances like this.”  Seulgi nodded sadly with tears on her face. Overcome by empathy again, Joohyun stretched out her arms. “Come here, Seulgi” she said as warmly as she could. “it’s going to be okay!” she added, wrapping her arms around Seulgi when she moved closer. Feeling Seulgi’s chin on her shoulder, Joohyun sighed softly, and thought to herself that as long as she still had Seulgi by her side,  everything was going to be okay.