Changkyun woke up with a start and a bit of a headache. For a few moments he looked around the room, slightly confused how he got into his own bed. Then it hit him, the fight, the rain, the hug and the crying. Dear lord, he released a monsoon on hyungwon and the worse part was that probably all his hyungs heard him weep like that.

 

He didn’t mean to cry. At first, when he entered the dorm, he was glad that no one was there. Then the light was switched on and he was hugged. By Jooheon, of all people, while the others were watching them in shock. Every emotion he could feel, passed through him. Sure, he was happy for a nanosecond that he was hugged. It meant that his hyung wasn’t angry anymore.

 

But then he realized that Jooheon didn’t have any right to be angry at him in the first place. And he just spend hours upon hours in the freezing cold, soaking wet without shoes, just to return home, be hugged and then what… everything was okay? No apology? No sorry for letting him feel like a failure? Screw that.

 

And then, he felt the other one hug him even tighter. Anger took over him and he pushed the other rapper away. He tried to calm himself and it was working for a moment, until the other took a step towards him. He heard his red haired hyung say his name and the rage came back, along with disappointment. When he looked up, he could see the hurt in the other one’s eyes. It was the first time since their fight that they looked directly at each other.

 

And he almost lost it then. He needed to get out and get a grip. Going outside again was out of the question. So he swept away any evidence of what he was feeling from his eyes and fleeted to his bedroom.

 

He wasn’t going to cry. Not when he realized his feet weren’t in mint condition. Not when he realized the others weren’t angry, just worried and running away had been an awful decision on his part. Not even when he heard Jooheon cry. But then Hyungwon turned up and just like before, Hyungwon knew what to say to get to him. He always did. And then the guilt and sadness just became too much.

 

He wasn’t sure how long he soaked his hyungs shirt, but Hyungwon managed to calm him down, whispering to him while patting his back softly. He must’ve passed out at some point.

And now, he needed to get up and eat something. He didn’t eat yesterday and, even though he knew his headache was from crying too hard, not eating would certainly worsen it. That meant he had to face the other members and most importantly his best friend and love interest.

 

When he got up, he noticed that getting to the kitchen would also be a challenge. His feet hurt, badly. Someone wrapped them up last night. Probably Hyungwon. He didn’t remember if it was his hyung or not. Did the other one do that while he was sleeping?

 

He walked, or rather dragged himself, limping, out of his room. Going at a normal pace was out of the question. It was quiet in the dorm. Was everyone still asleep? It didn’t appear to be that early in the morning however. He continued his way down the corridor when he tripped over his own foot. He braced himself but to his surprise was caught by two strong arms.

 

“Careful now.” Hoseok said softly behind him.

“You don’t want to add sore hands or something like that to your injuries, do you?” He joked slightly while lifting him up until he was back on his painful feet.

“Can you stand up on your own?” Changkyun nodded to his hyung’s question which made Hoseok release him. He didn’t dare to look directly at Hoseok, but he could see the corner of his hyung’s lips pointing up a bit, smiling softly.

“Lean on me anyway. Let’s get you to the kitchen, you must be hungry.” Hoseok’s arm went around his waist while the other took Changkyun’s arm and put it over his shoulder. It made his trip a lot less hard.

 

Hoseok was always kind and attentive. He knew his hyung had questions. But he’d never push him. Instead he’d wait until the other decided to talk to him. Changkyun was grateful for that and they continued their trip towards the kitchen in silence. His joy was short lived however as they entered the kitchen… where the rest of the members were sitting at the table, looking at them.

 

--

 

Hyungwon knew the moment Changkyun and Hoseok had entered the room, that it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. Their maknae didn’t exactly look surprised to see them all sitting there, probably saw it coming, but the youngest member did freeze up, not moving another muscle except casting his eyes down. Hoseok, slightly surprised by the action, tried to move forward to sit them both down. The other one wouldn’t budge, however.

 

The older one of the two decided to let him go and left him to lean against the doorframe. and sat down next to Hyungwon and Minhyuk. On the other side of the table were Kihyun and Jooheon, with Hyunwoo sitting in between them. The silence that followed was awkward, Hyungwon thought. A few long moments passed until their leader cleared his throat.

 

“How are you feeling?” But when the maknae didn’t answer, Hoseok decided to speak.

 

“He feels a bit hot to the touch, perhaps a slight fever, nothing too bad. But his feet hurt… obviously.” Hyunwoo nodded, content with the info he got. Again, Changkyun stayed silent. The bandages were pretty noticeable. It wasn’t like Hyungwon had any first aid training. He managed to clean and disinfect the other’s feet just fine, but those white pieces of fabric looked a lot more like winter socks than bandages.

 

“Okay, ummm… I think that, in light of what happened yesterday, we need to talk.” Hyunwoo wasn’t the most talkative leader nor was he strict. It wasn’t something the group normally needed either. But Hyungwon noticed in these last two days that he was an adaptive leader. Whatever the group needed him to be, he’d be. And now, with everything going one, he clearly felt like he needed to be the one to solve this mess.

“Things were said, things… happened that can’t happen again. We’re a team, friends, family. It’s normal to fight amongst ourselves sometimes, to get in each other’s hair.” He added. Then, he turned towards the red-haired rapper.

“However, it’s not normal to work out your frustrations on other people and belittle their talents.” Jooheon studied his hands. They talked to him yesterday already, but it was necessary that their maknae heard this as well.

 

Their leader turned his head again and looked at the youngest member this time.

“But it’s also not okay to just storm off, leave for hours on end and stay outside in a storm without proper clothes. Even worse, without letting us or a manager know where you are.”

It’s not like their leader was berating Changkyun in any way. But that’s not how the rapper saw it. Hyungwon could tell by the frowning that the maknae was getting upset.

 

“So you mean it’s my fault then.” It was the first time since yesterday that the silver-haired rapper talked to them and used a complete sentence to do so. Voice still very rough. It wasn’t really a question and Hyungwon could imagine how this must seem too him: all teaming up against him. That wasn’t the case of course. They’ve already had a hart to hart with the other rapper, but the other one didn’t know of course.

 

He still wasn’t looking directly at them, hiding his eyes behind his bangs, effectively hiding his emotions as well. It was something he was good at, hiding emotions... Well, as long as those emotions weren’t overwhelming him anyway. Hyungwon used to think their youngest member was just indifferent to a lot of things. But as he got to know him, he found out there were other things that gave away what the other was thinking. The fiddling with his own hands right now, by example, showed his nervousness.

 

“Changkyun-ah-” Minhyuk tried, but he was cut off by Hyunwoo.

 

“You know that’s not true. What I meant was that we were worried about you.” The oldest said with a sigh. It’s funny how their leader manages to defuse a situation with just the tone of his voice. He sounded disappointed and it had an immediate effect on the maknae, who shifted slightly against the doorframe while bending his face even more down.

“We’re not and we were not angry Changkyun-ah, we just didn’t know where you were or that you were safe…” Their leader paused and cleared his throat once more. It was clear to Hyungwon that the oldest member was thinking about how to proceed.

 

“Look… We know this fight between you and Jooheon hurt you, big time. And you have every right to be upset about it… But you just ran away and didn’t even give Jooheon the chance to resolve this matter or to apologize.” Hyunwoo paused again.

“Talking about apologies, I’m sorry that I let this come so far. I knew that everyone struggled with the song, I should have done something about it. And I’m sorry I didn’t find you yesterday and made you walk back here on your own in that awful weather.”

 

Being the first one to apologize was a wise and strategic thing for Hyunwoo to do. But Hyungwon knew he meant every word; and although neither of those were his fault or something he could’ve changed; the DJ wasn’t that surprised their leader said all that. What did surprise him a little was Changkyun shaking his head and answering.

 

“No hyung, none of it is your fault…” the youngest rapper said with a hoarse voice and lifted his head a little. For the first time since the start of this conversation, Hyungwon could see his eyes clearly.

“… I’m sorry as well. I thought you were all angry at me. That’s why I didn’t return. I should’ve known you’d be worried instead. And I’m sorry for that, I didn’t mean to make you all worry.” Hyunwoo smiled softly, glad they were getting somewhere.

 

“Apology accepted. And-“ But their leader’s words got cut off by Jooheon standing up, out of the blue, scaring all of them. Kihyun jumped a bit and Minhyuk almost spilled his coffee all over the table.

 

“I have something to say as well.” He started while he looked up from his hands, directly at the other rapper’s face.

“Changkyun-ah, if there’s anyone here that should apologize, it’s me. I didn’t mean any of the stuff I said. I’ve been an insensitive jerk and hotheaded idiot. I’m also sorry for the sudden hug yesterday. Frankly I was so glad you were back safe and sound and I wasn’t thinking. I… I just value our friendship more than you could possibly know, so please believe me when I say I regret everything. Please forgive.” By the end of Jooheon’s speech, his voice started wavering and he was looking at his hands once again.

 

He and the rest of them did look up again in the direction of their maknae when they noticed the lack of response from the latter. He was looking at the other rapper’s chest, face blank, apart from the thin line of fluid just above the lower eyelid. And once more Hyungwon wasn’t sure how the other would react.

 

“Changkyun-ah?” Hyunwoo tried after a minute or so.

 

“Kyunnie?” He tried as well. It got a response out of him as the maknae finally looked the red-haired rapper directly in the eye.

 

“Fine…” Except, it obviously wasn’t. There wasn’t any kind of emotion behind the word. The others noticed as well. But no one had any idea of how to react. Not that it mattered, the maknae just turned around and stumbled away from the kitchen as soon as it left his mouth.

 

Minhyuk got up to go after him, but Hoseok stopped him.

“Leave him be.” And with that Jooheon dropped back into his chair, hid his face in his hands and mumbled something inaudible.

“He’s just tired and not feeling well.” Hoseok continued.

“Let’s give him a few days. The managers said we got the rest of the week off anyway. Give him some time. You’ll see, it’ll get better.”

 

--

 

But it didn’t get better, not for Jooheon anyway. He noticed the other rapper was rather absent, but he did talk to everyone else rather normally. Just not him.

 

The others took turns in cleaning, disinfecting and bandaging the maknaes feet. The first few days Hoseok and Hyunwoo had to help him move around the house. Now, he could walk for short distances on his own.

 

Jooheon did try to approach him, but every time, the younger just gave him the cold shoulder in return. It hurt him, but he couldn’t force his once best friend into talking. He didn’t have the right to nor would it have a positive effect if he did. They didn’t talk, even if they were in the same room and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

The others weren’t blind and seemed to notice as well and in the morning of day four, everyone suddenly had plans. Everyone but Jooheon and Changkyun. Hoseok was going to train at the gym and said that Hyungwon and Minhyuk could use some training as well. Kihyun on the other hand needed extra dance practice for one of their songs and asked Hyunwoo to help him.

 

It was clear to Jooheon that this was some sort of setup, Kihyun was stuttering while explaining why they had to go and Minhyuk had been overly dramatic. To make matters worse, they’d be gone for an entire day.

 

“You’re on nurse duty today, don’t forget! The first aid kit is in the kitchen. Make sure YOU do it. Changkyun hates the disinfectant. Good luck!” Had been Minhyuk’s last words before all five of them left.

 

Oh jolly…

 

 

 

___

 

 

A/N: ah, I hate writers block. This wasn't an easy chapter to write.